Me at 3 PM daily.

The carnage is far from complete, but look who made a new life plan today:

Matt Niskanen and Brooks Orpik

No one can see us in these jerseys.

To the Capitals!  Hello friends!  Pittsburgh Penguins East, reporting for duty.  The Caps certainly rolled out the welcome paychecks, going $40.25 million/7 years for Nisky and $27.5 million/5 years for Brooks.  Where does that leave $6 million Mike Green?  New coach Barry Trotz says he hasn’t written Mike off – and who knows. Some help back there could be just what Mike needs.  Either way, I got to keep my Turtle and the Caps sold at least one new shirtzee.

He also stands by the road and waves as people drive into DC.

Thomas Vanek

Minnesotans sure love Minnesota, and the Wild love them right back.  Thomas Vanek, who went to school and now lives in MN, joins natives Zach Parise and Ryan Suter, albeit for waaaaay less money.  Less money, in fact, than other teams were offering Vanek (to stay on Long Island).  He took 3 years/$19.5 million to play home games where he really makes his home.  Once again, the Islanders get the shaft.

Like the boy holding onto his balloons in Up.

Matt Moulson

Speaking of ex-Islanders, Matt Moulson was traded to the Sabres last fall.  The Sabres traded him to the Wild in March.  Today he went back… to Buffalo.  To the worst team in the League last season.  That is some serious faith in the rebuilding process and some serious cash at $25 million/5 years.

I’ve been laughing at this photo since yesterday.

The mission to rescue John Tavares is now a go.  We’re coming for you, hon.

“When you came in here, didn’t you have a plan for getting out?” – Princess Leia

Jarome Iginla

The Avs are gearing up for some kind of Survivor spin off featuring old guys vs. young guys.  They’re loaded with Landeskog, Duchene and MacKinnon, who in case you’ve forgotten scored 157% of Colorado’s playoff goals last season.  They’ve added Danny Briere and yesterday plussed up again with Jarome Iginla.  Iggy gets 3 years, $16 million.  We have much love for Iginla – heck, he’s played for all our teams now.

Could still score on Roy.

Both Briere and Iginla played against Avs coach Patrick Roy when he was still in the League. I hope someone welcomes them at training camp with a video of any goals they scored on Roy.

My response to everything on UFA Day.

Paul Stastny

Eliminated from the Avs’ new game show was Paul Stastny, but he got a big, shiny welcome from his new St. Louis Blues: 4 years, $28 million.  At $6.5 million next season, that is $108,000+ for each of the 60 points Stastny scored this year.  I need to talk to my boss about a raise.  Who do you think gets to keep this shirt?

Orange is the new Avs.

Ryan Miller

In recent years, the Canucks goaltending has been like running through a new level of Super Mario Bros. every night.  Jump on the same toadstool, hit the same brick and surprise!  Who knows that will fall out.  Perhaps that is finally over.  Resident starting goalie Eddie Lack wasted no time making friends… and getting trolled by former VAN goalie Roberto Luongo.

Just don’t look at the punctuation.

Miller gets 3 years/$18 million, so let’s hope he picks up the check.

Brad Richards

Sad Brad no more?  After being bought out by the Rangers in June, to the tune of a slot machine raining $20 million into a bucket because of his original contract, Richards signed a one-year, $2 million contract with the Blackhawks today.  Ho-ly crap.  New York fans hated Brad because a) they could and b) he was really and truly awful.  He must be thrilled to shed them, while dragging a sack full of their money, and head for Chicago.

#partyhard

We figure most guys would play alongside Toews and Kane for free anyway.  NYR fans are still glad to be rid of Brad, and thinking maybe the lockout’s one silver lining was that compliance buyout.

Upside for us: High likelihood of repeat beard performance.

Gingerbeard dreams.

There are so many more.  Brian Boyle went to the Lightning, so the Rangers can just give his old jerseys to newly acquired Dan Boyle.  Jussi Jokinen, Shawn Thornton, Dave Bolland and anyone else they could fit on the plane went to Florida.  Tanner Glass went to the Rangers, while Deryk Engelland and Jonas Hiller joined the Flames.  Here’s the full list.  It will only get longer tomorrow.

Yeah, these salary cap numbers don’t add up.

Foxy Friday: Matt Niskanen

Oh yeah, I went right for the puppy picture.

Most of you met Nisky that time he fought Sidney Crosby.

My screams still echo somewhere in the depths of outer space.

Four months later, Matt and someone else you know (sing it: Gingerbeeeeeeard!) got traded to the Penguins.  Niskanen and Sid joke about the fight.

Where is that video, hey?  This may be the one time Sam Kasan let us down.

Did I mention Matt is from Minnesota?  If not, you heard it in that interview.

2013-2014 has been the Year of Niskanen in Pittsburgh.  He had 46 regular season points, including 10G.  He leads the Penguins and all NHL defensemen with a +33.  He had 6 GWG – tied with OEL for best among League d-men and second-most on the Penguins.  That’s right, Matt Niskanen had more GWGs than Sidney Crosby.

What else?  Oh, he plays defense.  Actual, consistent defense on a team whose blueline rode the strugglebus all season.  There were monumental lapses in ability among the Penguins top 4 D, added to serious injuries like Letang’s stroke, Paul Martin’s broken hand and Orpik’s concussion.  Niskanen played 81 games.  There was a stretch in December when Nisky was the only Pens’ defenseman old enough to drive (slight exaggeration).  He held it down, guided Olli Maatta in a ROTY consideration-worthy year and kept me, personally, from losing my damned mind.  And these guys too: Hockey Writers, Rant Sports, everyone.

Thanks, Matt.

In the last year of a 2-year deal, making just $2.3 million, Nisky looked like trade bait at the beginning of the season.  Now he looks like:

That’s his reserved Minnesota version of GETPAAAAAAAAAAAID.

The Penguins haven’t talked contract yet.  Read this Puck Daddy piece on factors important in a potential deal for Matty.  We can only hope Swami Shero makes this a long-term relationship because:

He’s also said: “I’ve fallen in love with this organization….” [video]

WE LOVE YOU TOO, MATT!  And not just “we” as in me and Lindsay, because we fall in love with everybody, but other people whose standards are much higher.  Like Alison.  She does not suffer fools on her blueline.

What else is great about Matt?  This time he fought Brad Marchand.  His middle name is NORMAN.  He says “darn” and “heckuva.”  The way he slicks his hair back but cannot ever defeat this center-part cowlick:

This terrible, terrible tie/shirt combo:

What do you expect from a guy with an unabashed love of sweatpants?

In his free time, Matt enjoys wearing light-colored jeans.

Having his car “pimped” before selling it for charity:

Learning his lesson the hard way about losing that shootout.

And holding a turtle.

Okay, it’s not a turtle – it’s a rock.  But when I first saw this picture [link] I was convinced Matt was rescuing a turtle in this forest, probably from some slow-moving distress, because that’s just the kind of nice guy he is.  He’s turtle-esque.  I laugh about this daily and it inspired one of my favorite WUYS memes of the year: Matt Niskanen Goal Turtle Celebrations.

And for those of you who see why this is hilarious, I thank you.

There is so much more, I could go on for days (or at least until the Pens game starts tomorrow night).  For now enjoy the adorable American-ness that is Matt Niskanen and his puppy:

Because Saturday night it’s back to work.

*Please pardon the fact we cannot center any images today.  It’s being address by someone who knows what HTML stands for.  All we can do is lean left a bit and everything seems fine.

Off to the interwebs to find something to care about.

Jonathan Toews will miss the rest of the regular season with an upper body injury sustained after a crushing hit (cue debate – clean/dirty/undecided) from Brooks Orpik.  I like the idea of Toews and Kane sharing a couch, watching hockey and shouting at the TV like I do with… you guys.  On Twitter.  That’s six games out for JT19 and he’ll apparently be 100% (Lindsay’s favorite expression) for the playoffs.

You can read about how Mike Green proposed to his fiancee, if you’re into that kind of thing (I am).  It obviously involves a pair of shoes.

Why don’t I have one of these?

John Tavares is part of the new CCM ad campaign, which presumably is to sell helmets and overly serious facial expressions.

Martin St. Louis scored his first goal as a New York Ranger… which pretty much sank Torts’ and his Canucks’ hopes of the post-season.  Forgive me if I don’t applaud.

In a related story, Ryan Callahan has 5G, 5A for the Lightning, who have clinched a playoff spot.  (Alexis and Lindsay clap.)

In total the East looks like this, and whoever wants to hold my hair while I throw up will be rewarded in her next life.

The Caps are circling the proverbial drain.  TWO POINTS COME ON YOU JERKS!  I apologize to the husbands and friends I’ve dragged to recent games with the promise of nachos.  It is impossible to eat such feelings of despair.

My only light of hope is the Rangers & Flyers could play each other in the first round and so many negative forces might combine to create a black hole that sucks both teams into another dimension where they never play the Penguins in Round 2.

If the Bruins win the President’s Trophy… I’ll say nothing publicly or to Chuck.  We’re already to the point of the season where we barely speak.

Here’s the West, which shows you why the Jets are writing cookbooks.  I hope Dallas staves off Phoenix because I know you guys love Tyler Tuesday and because I want to be nice to Chuck about something.  It has nothing to do with shirtless Jamie Benn playing ping pong.  Nope, not at all.

I somehow missed it three weeks ago when #TeamEbs & Co where stuck in an elevator.  My first thought is that I’ve seen Speed a hundred times, I’m totally qualified to perform a rescue in this situation.  My second thought is based on the month season the Oilers have had, maybe they should’ve stayed in there.

Also this gem  – think about it for a second.

Gabe Landeskog engaged in a Twitter conversation about which Disney hero he better resembles: Kristoff or John Smith (or Cinderella).

Erik Karlsson has 70 points.  That’s twice he’s broken 70 – each of the last two full NHL seasons.  The only other defenseman to top 70 points in the last 6 years (also did it twice)?  Mike Green.

Mike Green also started with limited tattoos and look where we are  now.

Source video. 100% Swedish.

Meanwhile Matt Niskanen has 42 points and still insists on dry-parting his hair down the middle.  Also, a turtle.  I will never stop thinking this is hilarious.

Today is another day for your team’s fortune to rise or fall.  Based on all the falling my teams have done lately, I’ll just bottle my frustrations like a perfectly normal hockey fan does with two weeks left in the regular season.

You know how it is.

James Neal being a shit.

Me not stopping till Neal owned up to his problem out loud.

Kunitz’s face.

Followed immediately by James trying not to laugh.

Jackass.  You can’t distract me with your shorts!  Do not make me regret this.

In my world, no one would ever say that leggings are not pants.  (Oh, those aren’t leggings?)

Tight hiphuggers, low fo’ sho.

Everyone would pack a healthy brown bag lunch.

There’s moisturizer in there too.

Nisky would get more camera time.

People would wear proper cold weather gear because they are Canadian and also duh.

We’d always look our best.

Glasses and plaid paints all the time.

You are not fooling anyone with this coy stuff, James Neal.

Everyone would have excellent posture and sit up straight.

They would never make fun of each other.

Or call people names.

Right, Kris?

Everyone would be happy to see us.

And we’d all sleep well at night.

Of course I’d have the whole thing filmed for TV too.   Marketing and management?  I’d hire me.

Video: Pittsburgh Penguins 2013 Holiday Card

Made during Movember, the Penguins appear to have been pulled out of a police lineup, given Santa hats and told to hold up these CDs.  I feel like I’m trying to ID the guy I saw creeping around my yard in an episode of Law & Order.

Poor Matt Niskanen was so nervous he almost forgot how to pronounce his own last name.  (The innocent guys are always the most awkward.)

Some of the fake track titles are gems, like using a last name as a verb in “Martin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and “Malkin’ in a Winter Wonderland.”

Even the Captain’s here, making Skeptical Sid face.  But he said “kissing” and I giggled like a loon on loon pills.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, or at least are wondering where the heck Malkin is during all this, they saved the best for last.  Kris Letang looking like a straight up madman.

Ha!  I feel like he popped out of a dumpster and shouted at me.  I threw my purse down and ran for it.  From the NHL Department of Player Sanity, his Disney Prince status currently under review.

Happy holidays, everyone.  If this unavailable fake CD isn’t quite what you’re hoping for in your stocking this year, may you at least be reminded of that time Sid couldn’t fit his wagon in this chair.

He’ll never fit down a chimney.

Huge thanks to @alisonsykora‘s mom Heidi, who took pictures of every page with her phone for us.  She likes James Neal the best because she’s a momgenius.

For safety, Sam overestimated the amount of room Sid needs to sit down.

Chuck Kobasew, come back to the lineup!

Matt D’Agostini’s in this year’s “Winter Look.”

Kunis and puppies and sweaters.

BSutts and Co. giving @alisonsykora the puppy eyes.

The closest to Raja that Aladdin could get.

These puppies match Geno’s outfit (and enthusiasm).

Joe Vitale and the tiniest little friend! Eeep!

Sassy and Neal. Yes, the dog is Sassy too.

Crosby is superstitious of black cats, so of course Duper has one.

Mario has one dog for each Stanley Cup.  He could handle more.

Hug it out, Rob Scuderi.

This is Nisky’s own dog. I’ll be over here, rolling around in my tears.

Get well soon, Beau. You’re too ridiculous to be without.

This scrappy little guy has Brooks’ eyes.

Disco Dogs

Also Flower’s own dogs.  And socks.

One last picture – a selfie:

I wanted to feature a player who’s still playing hockey, since we have to get through the whole summer with guys playing golf.  How to do that without cursing myself tonight?  How about one of each?

Ottawa – Eric Gryba

Suspended two games in Round 1 for an earth-shattering hit that seemed clean to us, Eric Gryba is Chuck’s kinda guy.  With that beard, he could be Rick Nash’s stunt double.  He left Tuesday’s game with an ‘upper body injury’ after a big hit from Pens’ Brooks Orpik, and will not play tonight.  Get well, Eric! (Just not well enough to score goals, or stop them, you know… that’s my disclaimer.)

Pittsburgh – Matt Niskanen

If you never looked past James Neal in the Penguins/Stars trade, you may have ignored Nisky back there on the blue line.  Being adorable.  Having “Norman” for a middle name.  Talking like he’s from Minnesota with a shot of Texas.  Maybe you saw him fighting Kyle Okposo in Round 1.  Stupid brawl, but foxy black eye.  Go ahead and score all the points you want. (@alisonsykora approves this message.)

New York – Derick Brassard

Rhonda suggested Derick for Foxy Friday and got a really huge NO from me, but I’ll include him here.  Who does he look like to you?  It’s not Logan Lerman.  Someone on Glee?  I feel like Derick is going to break into a cover song at any moment.  I thought he was a rookie, but it turns out he was just playing in Columbus for 5 years.  Maybe I’ll just call him Foxy Trade Bonus.

Boston – Daniel Paille

Chuck hopes the Foxy Friday luck rubs off on Pie, since he hasn’t scored in a bit.  I think Paille looks much better without his heard.  It’s the whole strong-jawed, Bryce Harper thing.  But he can keep growing it as long as Chuck gets to keep watching her Bs – and he keeps hugging people this enthusiastically.

Los Angeles – Jarret Stoll

Jarret Stoll got hit by Raffi Torres in Game 1 of this series.  Torres got suspended (shocker) and Stoll missed Game 2 last night.  I don’t really get swoony over Stoll – are there any blond celebs he hasn’t dated? – but I like Erin Andrews a lot.  If he’s good enough for her, he’s good enough for Foxy Friday.  Here’s hoping he’s back in the Kings’ lineup soon.

San Jose – Joe Pavelski

Featured in this week’s BeardWatch2013 for his perfect 1:1 hair-to-beard ratio, Little Joe is one of my favorite Sharks.  Also the Sharks’ TV commercials were a highlight of living in the Bay Area for three years.  Enjoy Joe Pavelski – Lousy Detective, Joe Pavelski’s “Rest Homies” and just plain old Joe Pavelski.

Detroit – Jordin Tootoo

Things Jordin Tootoo loves: Instagram, his girlfriend, pictures of food and hockey fans.  He is quite possibly the most exuberant NHL player on social media (minus Biz and with zero snark).  Not only was Jordin the NHL’s first player of Inuit descent, but also the first from the Canadian province of Nunavut (Correction: Per shanes, it’s the territory of Nunavut. I have no idea what the distinction means, but I shall look it up!).  There’s a place in Canada where not everyone plays NHL hockey?  Dreams ruined.  Jordin is currently benched in favor of Todd Bertuzzi (DISLIKE) – maybe this will put him back in the lineup.

Chicago – Brian Bickell

A long-standing Foxy Friday requirement: Must Love Dogs.  Brian Bickell does.  He and his wife even founded Chicago Loves Pits, an organization to educate and open hearts and minds about pitbulls.  D’awww!  I know the sweetest pit, her name is Luna, and this one’s for her.  Brian also very gracefully handled the Blackhawks’ decision not to include his name on the Stanely Cup, and we love a polite guy.  In a Christmas sweater.

There you have it, even-stevens foxiness across the board.  Let’s see if it works.

Penguins 2, Flyers 1 – OT

The past two seasons, the Flyers have ended big win streaks for the Pens.  Not last night!!  It took a while, until Crosby PPGed so hard he almost fell over.  He is a little back-heavy, after all.

.gif by jordanstaals.tumblr.com

Not for nothing, Sid got all these points without even brushing his hair.

Then everyone including Tyler Kennedy couldn’t believe that Tyler Kennedy scored the OT game-winning goal.  Penguins win streak extended to 12 games!

Let’s love on Matt Niskanen for a minute.  First of all, his middle name is Norman.  It makes me think of the calf from City Slickers every time:

“Seat belts, Norman! Seat belts!”

Secondly, he’s been aces lately.  Check out last night’s highlights [video] –  the puck-drag  around the shot block at 1:34, then the behind-the-back to TK for the winner!  Nisky had the game-winner last week vs. Washington, giving him 4 goals in 25 games. Last year he scored 4 in 75.  He needs a haircut something awful, but look at that smile:

.gif by christkunitz.tumblr.com

Also, last night… Capitals 3, Rangers 2 – SO

WELCOME BACK, PIGLET!  At least we hope so.  Mid-last week, Nicky Backstrom had only 3 goals on the year.  THREE GOALS?

Yes. Horrifying.

But last night, NB19 scored the Caps’ first and last goals – the second being the 4th round shootout winner.

So while the bonus goal won’t count toward the season total, we know it happened.  That’s 3 goals and 3 assists in 3 games!  Give us the return of this face and the Caps could give the playoffs a run for their money after all.

I will also grudgingly point out that Ovechkin has 6 goals in 5 straight games.  The Caps have won 4 of those.  Maybe (maybe, maybe) he CAN lead this team, at least on the scoreboard.

There’s no way out for the Caps without Ovi and Backstrom and no more time to wait.  They jumped 3 spots in the standings this weekend, and are now 2 points out of 8th place.  They host the Islanders, Sabres and Flyers this week – all teams just below them in the East.

Please let this elevator keep going up.

Side note: If you’re not following Ovi’s fiancée Maria Kirilenko (@mkirilenko), you are missing the most excited Caps-related Tweets out there.  She might even be enough to make me like him.

You’re dad’s thinking, “Whew.  My daughter’s safe with this dork.”

Sorry to be late – the Penguins annual Skates & Plates benefit was a few days ago.  You know, the one where they get dressed up and try not to drop food on themselves, people, the floor give us something to blog about.

While I’m generally opposed to jackets with tails (on anyone but Mr. Peanut)…

(and Disney princes)

I can’t resist an event in which the Penguins make Matt Niskanen look like the Mayor of the Munchkin City.

Is ‘corsage pinner’ a job?  Related experience: I can make a poof in the front of my hair with one bobby pin.  Here’s my resume.

Kris: Are you nervous?

Sid: I hope they spaced the tables out far enough for me to fit through.

Kris: Well you look good.

Sid: Thanks.

Kris…

Sid: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (tugs at collar).

Of course it was all captured on video, again by the Duper Cam and endlessly on Tumblr.  Revel in the awkward.

Next year I think Skates & Plates should have lanes of ice between the tables, so the players can deliver your food like a 1950’s diner – on skates.  They could add paper hats and a choreographed dance routine.  So basically the dinner would be at Johnny Rockets and sound like Grease.  They could pull it off.

(Photos from Penguins Instagram)

When the Penguins aren’t working for tips, they sometimes play hockey.  The first period last night vs. Philly was not one of those times…

Unless you think this is hockey:

Yes, you.  You jerk.

No I won’t take it back. I’m really mad at you.

 I do support this, of course.  Peeking between my hands yelling, “No no no no!” and then “KILL HIM! ROAR!!!”

Good thing I kept an eye on the out-of-town scoreboard.  People at the Caps game gave me stare down for freaking out as these three goals popped up.

My phone could hardly refresh fast enough.  Wore the lady behind me right out.

And when I saw that Neal scored in a somewhat redeeming fashion?  I attacked @raedanda, in her puple pants.  Duck and cover.

I haven’t even watched the game yet, but this is my joy.

Sorry, Sad Ginger.  (NO I’M NOT.)

While I’m at it, CHRIS KUNITZ!  Having a year!  2G/1A last night, he now has 31 points and is behind only Crosby and Stamkos for the NHL lead.  [CBS Sports]  He even tried to save Disco Dan from a flying puck Monday night.

The Pens also got a goal and an assist from Dupuis.  If Sid’s linemates scored 3 times, you know he had 3 assists last night.  From the Pittsburgh Tribune:

Since the beginning of February, Crosby has produced 29 points in 16 games. He has at least one point in 13 of those games. Crosby has recorded seven three-point nights during that span.

Crosby’s career vs. Philly?  13 goals and 20 assists in 21 games.

Yeah, that’s right.

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/03/08/skates-plates-prom-dates/feed/ 8 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/04/24/cruel-summer-penguins/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/04/24/cruel-summer-penguins/#comments Tue, 24 Apr 2012 14:42:45 +0000 http://whatsupyasieve.com/?p=10245 For a few days after something bad happens, you don’t want to be cheered up.  You want to drown in a cocktail shaker or eat an entire wedding cake.  If you’re me, you picked a bright orange heavy bag and kickboxed the crap out of it a la Captain America.

Then life goes on.  Other teams win and lose, and to keep me from slipping out of reach after last night’s Blackhawks loss, I need a moment to thank the Penguins for a great season.

Prom Night 2012. They obviously tried to take the photo before Letang showed up, but no such luck. The man even looks good in a ponytail.

The waiting was the hardest part.   I held my breath a lot, exhaling mostly in the form of cheers for for Malkin and Neal and all those beautiful points.  When Crosby was finally back for good, all I could do was sigh.

At the end, the Penguins went a little haywire.  Their top-of-the-line hardware should run like a fighter jet, but somewhere in the programming the machine became human.  Their system fell apart in the first three games vs. Philly and couldn’t recover.  But like the computer you’re on right now, you don’t throw it away when it malfunctions.  You smack it and threaten to chuck it out the window, but really you just shut down, wait a minute and reboot.

Or you go on summer vacation.

To send the Pens off, here are a few things we demand to see this summer.

We Want: James Neal in Glasses

Nealmobile once came a contact lense away from a career-ending eye injury [link].  He could have been finger painting like Doug Dorsey!  Thank God for small miracles.  Where there are contacts, there are glasses, and some super sleuth found them in NHL36:

The old adage “boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” is not at all true for girls.  We LOVE your glasses (without ever seeing you wear them).  In fact, how dare you deprive us?  Mike Green would never do that.  Since it’s only April and you’re gone, at least give us this.

We Want: Geno’s T-Shirt Collection

We didn’t get enough hilarity out of Geno’s wardrobe this year.  The man alternately shops at Charlotte Russe and the Hustler Store, which can only mean one thing: we can’t wait to see what he’s wearing at the high-roller table in Vegas when he picks up that Hart Trophy.

We Want: Niskanen and Sullivan

Matt Niskanen’s (RFA) middle name is Norman for heaven’s sake.  Sullivan (UFA) fits in on any line and plays like he’s in his twenties.  Sign them now.

We Want: Workout Videos

Show us how hard you’re working, how dedicated you are to the new season.  That’s what these videos are about, right?  Last year we posted Kris Letang’s [link] and you guys all disappeared for a week.  Maybe this year, James Neal won’t be ignored in the Camp Biosteel videos.

I think that’s everything we need for the next five months.  Players eat their Wheaties and do their squats while we save up cash for tickets and merch.  See you all in Septemb…  hahahaha.  RIGHT.

We Want:

Crosby, where are the rest of these pictures?

Caption removed for inadequacy.

And even this.

Neal's going to need a lot of help putting on that SPF 75.

Don’t you feel at least a little better now?

Nisky & Nealer have guacamole dogs. (This was supposed to say "camouflage" but autocorrect FTW and I'm leaving it.)

PS: Remember when Crosby and Niskanen had that fight?  No wonder Sid picked Nisky, he looks harmless!  We want to bake him cookies.

Girls Puppies Love.

The calendar will be available on the Pens website before the end of the year.

Paul Martin auditions for the LL Bean catalog.

TK and the harvest display at Sam's Club.

We think it makes the perfect Christmas gift.  For us.  You have our address.

Someday, leeetle puppy you will be bigger than my muscles. But not for a long time.

James, your hair. For heaven's sake. It's not even windy.