Since Chuck and I are not talking, I have no idea if she’s planning to write this same post today.  You guys can tell me later.

So, Saturday night was exciting, yes?  Too exciting.  Run-and-gun hockey is fun to watch only if:

• the puck goes in the net.
• it’s some other team I don’t care about.

Otherwise it’s so exhausting that I need Gatorade and a sports bra just to spectate.

The Pens and Bruins couldn’t keep that pace up either, but they wanted to make sure we weren’t bored.  Or should I say “board?”  I don’t usually criticize officials because in real-time, those calls are hard to make.  It’s like yelling, “I DON’T LIKE THAT!” after someone obviously did something wrong.  But assigning punishment for those penalties needs to be consistent.  If you did the crime, you do the time.  Or not.

Matt Cooke boarded Adam McQuiad, got a major and a  game misconduct (not suspended for tonight).

Brad Marchand boarded James Neal, got a minor and a high five.

The difference is what?  I don’t even care that McQuaid sees Cooke coming, while Neal doesn’t see Marchand, which technically make’s Marchand’s hit worse.  Both hits were ugly and both should have been penalized equally.

Also I should stay off Twitter to prevent future ragestrokes about “Matt Cooke is so dirty” comments from people who say nothing at all about Marchand doing the exact same thing.  I won’t defend Cooke’s hit – it was bad and I’m sick of him doing stupid things.  We all know his history, especially when it comes to the Bruins.  But call for one crucifixion and you better call for them all or your argument is invalid.

The Penguins apparently felt the same way, except they’re on the ice where they need to continue playing, not in my living room throwing couch cushions and pizza.  So Malkin fought Bergeron, Crosby shoved Rask and then got into the best shouting match ever with Zdeno Chara.  I tend to laugh when I’m nervous, so imagine what I sounded like watching this go down.

“Dear Sid,” she thought, her panicky giggle sounding a lot like his own high-pitched laugh. “I appreciate what that you’re not afraid of the Charasaurus and you’re going to stick up for your team, but please be cool.  Also, don’t die.  Malkin just left and we kinda need you.”

0% brains, sometimes.

The Penguins did what they do best in times of adversity – get all ruffled and spaz out.  You (should) know better, guys!  It’s the perfect game plan and well done, Bruins.

Pittsburgh needs to get their emotions under control, almost as much as their setup in the defensive zone.  Stop doing this:

Because:

Then we can go back to:

Okay?  Good plan.  See you tonight.

After this weekend, the heat intensified over how Brendan Shanahan decides suspensions and disciplinary action. But for us women, there’s no secret. After the Campbell empire of nepotism and favoritism crumbled there was hope for a clean start. But after almost a year in the position it looks like The Plastics are back with 2.0 edition.

Here is Shanahan and Bettman at a press conference discussing the recent Torres suspension:

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1384659

This is what it must be like behind closed doors when they are deciding on disciplinary action. “Well Brendan, you have the physique of a 20 year old Zack Parise shooting down the cold freshly zambonied ice on a winter classic day with a crazed Shea Weber chasing you trying to smash you head into the boards.”

shanahan simply calls it in

ask henrik if this was worth $2,500 bowl full of crazy

My point is, discipline should be like justice, blind, fair and across the board. A hit should be judged on its own. Not if someone is hurt, not if someone is a popular or famous player, but as a stand alone on its own merits – as it were. This is simply not happening. I realize people are human but come on.

And don’t use Matt Cooke is the poster boy for this system – it was the Penguins who sat him down and said it’s your job or you’re out. That was the reason he change, NOT Shanahan or the new system.

Cooke has been suspended for the remainder of the regular season and for the 1st round of the playoffs for elbowing NYR defenseman Ryan McDonagh in the head in yesterday’s game.

Not only does he let down his team, he’ll also lose $219,512.20 in salary (which all goes to the Players’ Emergency Assistance Fund).

From Mr. Colin Campbell:

Mr. Cooke, a repeat offender, directly and unnecessarily targeted the head of an opponent who was in an unsuspecting and vulnerable position.  This isn’t the first time this season that we have had to address dangerous behavior on the ice by Mr. Cooke, and his conduct requires an appropriately harsh response.

Even the  Pens’ GM, Ray Shero, agreed with the NHL’s decision.

The suspension is warranted because that’s exactly the kind of hit we’re trying to get out of the game. Head shots have no place in hockey. We’ve told Matt in no uncertain terms that this kind of action on the ice is unacceptable and cannot happen. Head shots must be dealt with severely, and the Pittsburgh Penguins support the NHL in sending this very strong message.

Kudos to Campbell and Shero taking a stand!

Matt Cooke has demonstrated time and time again what a malicious player he really is.  This makes me sad and angry.  His actions hurt not only the players he targets, but also his teammates, his coaches, and the fans of hockey.  Way to go, genius.

Perhaps I’m biased because Cooke took out my favorite Bruin for the season (and perhaps his career), but I don’t think that I’m alone in this.  I don’t think that any self-respecting Pens fan could honestly and in good conscious support Cooke’s actions on the ice or disagree with the NHL’s ruling.

What do you think?  Think this suspension is too little?  Or too much? Or just enough?

Is it Sunday yet?

I’m calling this Sunday’s showdown of Penguins vs Capitals NBC’s Fistfest-o-Rama 2011. Because with the punchfest the Penguins are on, I suspect it will continue well into Sunday. And I for one, can’t wait! I am even hoping that Mike Milbury will drop Piere Macguire during the first intermission so we won’t have to listen to him babble on incessantly! This video goes back to December 2006! I pulled it for Cassy because Brooksy kicks some BUTT! But it’s a massive brawl!

My only hope is that Ovi will at least wait until the third period to get ejected because the last time he went out in the first two minutes NBC’s rating dropped faster than Hugh Hefner’s erection without Cialis. I only wonder, does dry humping Kris Letang count as a penalty? Because let’s all be honest here, WE’D ALL BE GUILTY and that’s worth two in the box for the thrill alone (that bucket of ice is there for a REASON) and there’d be a line out the door!

I am coming for you Kris

Another question I have, will the Penguins take their limited edition Barbie Sid out of the box and finally play him against the team that put him on the injured reserve in the first place? oohhhhhh …. chills. Will Cookie do Sid’s dirty work? If I were Steckle, I’d paint eyes on the back of my head just in case. And the Caps better play DJ King to be safe.

call me a barbie one more time ... and i'll, i'll tickle you with my finger

Maybe I’m making more of this than need be. Maybe absolutely nothing will happen. But I’m hoping SOMETHING, ANYTHING does. Because this is one of my favoritest match ups of the year.