So I’ve scoured the internet and there is like a BLIP one DD’s day with destiny. If it were, er, um, other hockey players day with Lord Stanley’s cup we’d get a minute by minute count down on what he did while out saving babies and evidently puppies.

So I’ve decided to give the only real account of Drew’s day with the cup and it went as follows because I was there – TRUE STORY – to blog ‘boot it.

First he took me on a romantic tracker drive, just us and the cup after we picked it from the local airport. Love the rolled up jeans and tennies. Totes dreamy!

 Then we took in a showing of an interpretive dance, “How Oxmusk bay in mid-day in yonder meadow”. It was fabulous but honestly, I spent most of the time glaring at the cup because it was starting to seriously come between Drew and I. I mean really! Who does that whore think she is? I… I .. ah. Oh. Yeah. It’s THE CUP.

Well, I did get jealous because bitch pulled this move at dinner and the gloves came off!

 So my drunk ugly crying face came out like the girls on Bachelor pad because a girl just can’t complete between THE CUP and Stanley Cup winning hockey players attention on his big day. So I wished Drew the best and left him with his shiny toy.

BEST. DAY. EVER! F-YEAH!

GO KINGS! And congrats again on your Stanley Cup winning, record-breaking season! Loved ya in Vancouver!

<3  Dawn~

Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!

Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!

The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!

A little something extra between the paws!

Winner, Winner, Pancake Dinner!

I only wish I had this much time on my hands ….

The win didn’t come without controversy when Brown took out Rozsival with a devastating hit and a penalty wasn’t called because the Coyotes were off-sides. Just after Rozsival was taken off the ice, LA scored and the hand shake line was less than cordial with the classy Coyotes fan throwing crap on to the ice.

Pancake’s interview after the game was self-deprecating referring to Quick as Mr. Vezina-Smyth. He also said that he was going to enjoy this trip to the Stanley Cup more than the last.

Stat Girl has a few things to tease your brain with:

LA KINGS are the first 8th seed EVER to dispatch the 1st, 2nd and 3rd seed teams.

LA KINGS have broken the NHL record with 8 straight road wins in a play-off season.

LA KING have broken the NHL record with 10 straight road wins in consecutive seasons.

So a BIG WUYS congratulation LA KINGS! Here’s to your second trip ever to the Stanley Cup Finals.

As Cartman loves to say: “GO KINGS GO!”

um .. did I say Ugly? nah .. I’d take a ride into the boards with these guys ANY DAY!

LA’s Dennis the Menace

It wasn’t either team’s best game but the Kings still came out on top. Which begs the question: Come Saturday – will the Coyotes bring it or will they be swept and wept?

Kopi’s not ready for summer yet!

Shane Doan takes Trevor Lewis’ face for a wipe board. OK-  he did turn but a delayed penalty had already been called for slashing on BROWN so all Doan needed to do was reach for the puck – not take Lewis’ face for a ride. He got thrown out which was appropriate – IN MY OPINION.

Mike Smith slashes Dustin Brown in the back of the knees. They get MATCHING penalties because the ref thinks Brown is embellishing – HELLO! Anyone who gets the craps smacked out of the back of their knees with a goalie stick by a 6’3” MONSTER isn’t embellishing ANYTHING.

As one commentator said, “If that was acting, it’s some of the best to come out of Hollywood in years!”

Then Hanzal decides ride Brown into the boards like a whore on Saturday night. Fellas, I get it, you’re frustrated. You got your asses handed to you by an 8^th seed team for a second night. But this is UNACCEPTABLE.

Then – my favorite of the night – Dustin “Pancakes” Penner decides enough is enough and when a scrum breaks out to quell it, he just sits on Antoine Vermette. Awesomesauce. Nothing says shut your face like a 6’ 4” manbeast sitting on your lame ass.

Oh did I mention that Jeff Carter, man of the hour, got a natural hat trick? The first one for the Kings in the play-offs since  – oh – Wayne Gretzky in 1993? Yeah … that happen too last night!

HAPPY SUTTER/ANGRY SUTTER

OH WHAT A NIGHT! Feel good about that one guys. Mad respect for your play. But I knew that –

Dawn – you are so funny. Calling me to wish me good luck tonight!

This is what you want from your captain – A COMPLETE BEAST!

The press conference after game one went pretty much like this:

Kopitar NEVER gives up on a puck – NEVER

Tippett: I didn’t give a F**K about Kopitar. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press person: So when Brown did blah blah blah …

Tippett: I don’t give a F**K about Brown. I have to worry about my players and how they perform.

Press Person: So when they scored again in the second period …

Tippett: Maybe you didn’t hear me the second time, I have to don’t give a F**K about the LA KINGS right now, I have to worry about my players and the fact that they didn’t perform tonight. Any more questions? Alright. Thanks.

GO KINGS! KEEP BEING UNDER-RATED  – RIGHT UP UNTIL YOU WIN THE CUP!

MY BOYS! BREAKING BAD!

Hey Shane, no need to get angry .. you’re moving on in the series but staying in Phoenix! You just won the Lottery!

Ya just can’t mess with the force – dude.

I think there was a grand disturbance in the force when Chewie tapped into the dark side and smashed Hans Solo’s head into the boards in an earlier series and sometimes karmic galactic payback is a bitch.

Chewie will now be able to make it back to Kashyyyk in time to celebrate Life Day.

You shall not move … I command it.

Lord Vader Shanahan needs souls to keep doling out his brand of justice

So now the Conference Finals are set for the West Coast – Phoenix vs. LA Kings.

The great oracle Orisis Jones was right as far as part of the West Coast goes:

That was our happy face after the sweep!

Not since 1993 have the LA Kings been to a conference final and that was when the Great One played for them – as in Wayne Gretzky.

WTF are the LA KINGS doing in the play-offs?

But that was before other brother Darryl Sutter took command. And all I can say is Capt. Dustin Brown’s mug shot makes him look like Dennis the Menace and I want to adopt him.

don’t let this sweet face trick you – he will destroy you on the ice

He had this fly save in the crease for Quick that was a game saver!

And still people have to ask why the LA KINGS are in the play-offs? Puppet Please?! It’s not just Drew Doughty that’s touched by god anymore.

Looks like just enough room for me guys!

I’m here to kick ass AND chew bubble gum. Lucky for you, I brought the bubble gum.

• Doughty certainly is a well-rounded player
• Doughty just skated down the Blues bench and told them they’d have to be quicker than that to throw a hit on him
• Doughty just got a free one off Elliott
• Who knew the Kings could go on such a winning streak without Doughty scoring

On a better note – Mike Richards is the only other player with a Gordie Howe Hatrick! The other player – Gingeroux!

I’m sexy and I know it!

So for those keeping count, the Kings are up 3-0 AGAIN in their series. For an 8^th seat team – that’s super totes. For a Sutter brother, it’s in the genes.

For the Blues, evidently, this is their way of keeping Doughty in check – evidently, they stole my diary:

But my friends once in a blue moon dreams do come true! So taste the rainbow Kings fans!

yes, that's super model Rachel Hunter with the newly dubbed, west coast - 'bigboy hair'

But I’ll be honest, it’s nice that under all that is this too :

LA seems to agree with Mr. Stoll

Who knew such a baby-face bad ass awaited?

 Everyone knows I LOVE GOALIES! And one who gets kisses from Drew Doughty on a regular basis would be high on my list!

Care for a three-some guys?!

Jonathan Quick is a baby-face bad-ass! He’s a strong contender for this year’s Vezina Trophy, was a member of the USA’s Olympic Team who won a silver medal in the 2010 and is the ONE reason the LA Kings are in the play-offs this year.

He is the Merlin to the Kings’ royal court. HE IS PURE MAGIC.

Even the puck lives in fear of Quick.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Say hello to your 'motha for me!

How does this go on again?

oops - how'd I get in there?

don't let that smile fool you, he won't let you score!

GO KINGS!

This went beyond just hair-pulling ...

I don’t hate fighting as much as some other people. What I dislike is hypocrisy. Philly has never made any apologies for who they are. What shocked me was  Matt Cooke managed to stayed out of the fray.

Pittsburgh needs to decide quickly if they are going to play as a team to stay in the play-offs or protect Sidney Crosby from injury because they can’t do both.

But other than that, to lighten the mood there used to be someone who did Hockey Cats. So to continue the tradition, here is the weekend in hockey cats photos:

Mittens likes to live on the edge ... it's better than the tea-cup ride in Disneyland!

big Orange made a horrible goalie

Hey there handsome! yes, I embarrassed you in front of your team, that was me

Ok, I’m starting this off with I don’t hate the Vancouver Canucks. I just happen to LOVE the LA KINGS – even more so after seeing them last night. Look at the play-off beard!

do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Mr. Canuck fan? no wonder you're with another dude at this game!

F%ck you camera man! Telling me I suck. I made it on the Jumbotron anyway! so suck it ... we won too!

The one question I kept getting asked last night was – Why do you like the LA KINGS? Really? I saw Mr. Cherrie hold his breath hoping against all hope I wasn’t going to say something snarky so I waited until now: (our two little friends above the exit sign where AWESOME!) HI!

1. LA has a real goal tender – Quick doesn’t cry either!

Koppie tried flipping me a puck during warm up! totes love for you.

2. LA has Kopitar who can stick handle in a phone booth and I believe is about to cut loose because he is certainly due

He's all class and no sass!

3. LA has Dustin Brown with 2 shorties on them in their barn

Capt. Downtown Brown was trying not to laugh at my sign. Quick had a giggle too along with the rest of the team giving Doughty shit.

4. LA has Jeff Carter and Mike Richards now
5. LA has Drew Doughty (of course)

Drew also tried to flip me a puck during warm-ups!

Any questions? Didn’t think so.

This was totally staged for my pleasure because they were all laughing and trying not to look at me. Hello -Paging Kings Fan of One.

See ... they started laughing and 22 (Trevor Lewis) is a stone cold FOX

But I would like to give a shout out and a thanks to the gracious Canucks fans who let me stand in front of them during the warm-ups so I could watch. They were very nice about it and I truly appreciated it.

 But when I went to consult my bookie, I mean my oracle- the great swami Osiris Jones, man about town and counselor at law, when he’s not picking NHL play-off games for cat treats, much to my horror this is what I found!

Whut can I saz, I heart king henry

When I told him there’d be no more treats for this treacherous betrayal –

But i'm no foo eder

His brothers are much smarter and helped with the sign making for tomorrows big trek across the border. With Doughty getting so much ice time I am sure to get my money’s worth so look for this sign in the sea of blue and green: 

yes mom, I am 12 years old ...and I can make a sign like one too!

I’m hoping to get some exclusive shots for the blog if Mr. Gates doesn’t make me stay after school for extra credit. I am also hoping for another game like last night!

Wow - for me? Awesome .... A hatrick for you then!

Swami Jones has spoken ... and it shall come to pass that these two hot horses will play each other in the finals ...

or this: 

Pst ...I hear Dawn's picked us for the finals ...
*****************************************************
Of course she did, I'm reliable and I always come through even though she's saying it's her 'cat' and she hates Pittsburgh

ah ... can someone get me into the dressing room for an interview? I have a lot of questions for these guys and they look a little bored.

Giving the West Coast some love and Mr. Cherrie too … for our anniversary – what better way to celebrate than seeing my beloved DDTBG in person! And on one of our favorite day of the year – FRIDAY THE 13th!

Yes, I've used this photo before but finding shirtless photos of Drew is like finding a Unicorn, a rainbow and Ovi with a hat trick this year! Ohhhh did I just say that?!

I don’t know whether to wear my “FEAR THE TWINS” shirt from last year’s play off or my ever green – DREW DOUGHTY shirt? Or I could committ the ultimate jersey foul – cut them apart and frankenstein them! Switch them out too! Brilliant I say!

complete jersey foul if I stich these together!

(I guess that depends on who wins in the end …) I learned my lesson at the 2010 Olympics! :0

These are tough and important decisions because I don’t want to be the Hulk Hogan dude that got razzed by Hartnell at the Pens game.

Either way ladies, it’s play-off time and this girl has a new outfit in the making. And you won’t believe your eyes! After being the highest googled Ovi sweat pants peep – my goal is to be the highest google Sex-hair gal.

I need a sign ... but not from god.

What? Dawn's coming? HERE?! Shut the Front Door!

We need a hero... to save us from all those things growing on our hockey heroes!

Why Drew, No shirt? No Shoes? ah ... but you will get service - eh?!

So if Shanna-hammer works for the NHL … the CBJ’s think, no they KNOW God works for the LA King’s because HEstopped time last night so Drew Doughty could make the below posted game winner-winner donut dinner last night!

That is the only explanation I can come up with but evidently the NHL is trying to come up with another one like, say, some one cheated and actually physically STOPPED the clocked for one second. Puppet please. Ask Mike Babcock. Only God could stop a clock for exactly one second and whisper softly in Drew’s ear and say, “Go donut, go!”

But they reviewed the goal in the war room and called it good so I’m not really sure what the who-ha still is. hahaha – I said war room. Seriously. WAR ROOM. Does any one else laugh about that? I envision a version of Air Plane with Lloyd Bridges, Leslie Nielsen, and George C. Scott with huge cigars, several giant bottles of empty Jack Daniels and then spinning one of them around on yes or no or maybe. Which ever it lands on, they pick the best of two.

I say it's a good goal

 

goaltender interference

BINGO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am the god of hell fire and I bring

Drew was due, that we knew. Should I make all this rhyme too? It was review-able but it was still do-able.
But the refs said it was good, that made the CBJ’s bang their wood and Drew got a goal with only .04 to go and you can watch it above in slow-mo!

come on in, the waters fine ... don't mind if I do

Oh hockey Gods – here me now. I want to see some rimming in the corners, some going hard against the boards, maybe see Drew/Kris bang a couple dirty ones in. Or hey, they could go after each other like rams. Can you tell I’ve been saving these quotes for a post like this? Or they could go hard on hard.

I got it! Oh yes you do ....

Or if worst comes to worst and the game ties, we will go to a hair flipping/ fashion contest:

Either way, work or no work, I’m not missing this meeting of defense men hotties. My two favorites going at it – oh god. It’s better than, well, no, I can’t think of anything actually except for being there to bang on the glass (eh hum) and cheer them on in person.

That means Drew can buy 56,565,656 diet cokes at $.99 each. Or 32,000,000 cupcakes at $1.75 each. Or 12,444,4444 4×4 at IN N OUT at $4.50 each.

Now that I’ve done my higher math for the evening, that should keep DDTBG not only closer to God, but the fast food peeps rolling in dough, pardon the pun, for at least $, I mean 8 more years.

Drew baby, you are totes PWNING DA NOOBS tonight!

Drew Doughty got $ AND Hops!