from Geno’s Instagram

Well no, our obsession with boys in glasses began long ago.  Maybe it was when Chuck and I got our own glasses, or when we realized that we a) are nerds and b) like nerds.  Glasses may be more cool than Coke bottle these days, but the allure remains.

Smart is sexy.  The appearance of intelligence doesn’t hurt either.  It really helps if you look like you might read a book once in a while, and we’re not talking about the Official Strategy Guide for World of Warcraft.  (Kidding!  Mr. Pants has this.)

Based on the knowledge that girls do make passes at boys who wear glasses, here’s a collection of indisputable, photographic proof.

Foxy Friday: Hockey Players in Glasses

Okay, that’s unfair.

Now is the time to embrace your inner dork and give in.

Don’t kid us with your faux-frames, Kevin!  Kes would never do that.

Glasses can really improve any outlook.

They cannot overcome two earrings though, Buff.

And make terrifying things like Shea Weber’s beard slightly less so.

Glasses are a gateway drug for hipsters…

He’s since had Lasik, sorry.

… and at the same time, their crowning glory.

We haven’t seen these specs since Paul Gaustad left for Nashville…

Or since Chris Kirkpatrick’s turtleneck wardrobe went out of style.

That awkward high school photo of everyone, ever.

They can be used as a disguise…

Cape optional.

But if we see them on TV, we’re going to want to see them on your face.  We’re talking to you, James Neal.

And we’re not above getting your best friend to peer pressure you (or withhold breakfast).

Heck, glasses even work on Flyers…

And ex-boyfriends (who are now Flyers)…

And lobsters.

You don’t have to be a part-time model.  But it doesn’t hurt.

BONUS ROUND! Suggested by @jstefanc:

Happy Friday!

More than 20 athletes will do the soap opera strategically-cover-your-business to pose for the annual issue – here’s the list [link].

Kes wanted to get a jump on the competition, so he posed with a fan.  This is like Chuck Norris selling the BowFlex – what a crock.  Some people are just born this way.  Kes spends more time on that hair than these abs and you, normal man in glasses, can only hope to warm your flab in the glow of his superhuman abilities.

Not that Kes does’t pay the price:

Whoever lived in my apartment before us still gets ESPN Magazine, and to that stranger I say thanks.  You could have cleaned behind the fridge before you left but I will accept this subscription instead.

He hits (104 in 66 games this season).  On occasion he fights (3 this year… wait, he fought Patrick Marleau?!).  Mostly he’s just Juice and for every second you hate him, you can’t help but love him too.  He’s a joker and a spaz and totally in love with Ryan Kesler.

Kevin Bieksa is what Sean Avery dreams about.  He’s a pain in the ass instigator type who won’t back down and throws other teams’ top offense off their game.  He’s effective.  He’s intentional.  And he’s smart.  Bieksa was +32 this season.  That’s tied for 2nd overall.

And if the stats, the jokes and the personality don’t convince you, well…

Despite our general dislike of the Canucks, we’ve got a soft spot for Juice.  He’s a total ham.  We bet he cracks himself up the way we do, when no one else is around, about something that would make no sense if you had to explain.

Plus he scored 5 goals + 5 assists in the playoffs, and was not very nice to Jonathan Toews (or anyone else).  The man is an absolute beast.  He’s also in a long-term committed relationship with his hetero life partner, Ryan Kesler.  So they both have good taste in guys.

Their kids are going to get married someday, and then it’ll be all… okay, we tried.  We can’t think of a single movie where childhood friends grow up to get married.  Isn’t that every movie?  What is wrong with us?

Those are some good cooties.

Anyway, Juice is here to stay.  And Vancouver will continue to pain us every year as a hockey juggernaut.  At least they’ll never be boring.

also a master curler

Since Vancouver won, I’ll fess up to being the chick flashing Ben Eager just for shits and giggles – IN MY DREAMS. I don’t have a body like that. Maybe like, 15 years ago. My twins have gone a little south, let’s say. But that’s between Victoria and me and she’s doesn’t tell!

GIFSoup

But now that I am THIS CLOSE to a full on Tiger-blooded Egg-headed-Sedin-Machine-no-trolls-allowed – goddesses-only-Bieska-lent- Torres-Torres-Torres-Hamhuis-in-the-house-Burrows-it-the-net-Stanley-Cup-Parade-Next Door? HELL YA! I don’t think there is a hockey fan out there that would miss a Stanley Cup parade even if it wasn’t ‘their’ team.

oh man, of better days ... sunny and chance of kris letang

To see ‘the cup’ and the team that won it would be awesome. Mr. Cherrie and I have already planned our escape route and run across the border because people here just don’t understand the importance of what is happening.

no, pants, I did not draw this but it has three things i love - actually make that four!

We are both calling in with Hockey Flu – which I’m saying I caught from making out with Kris Letang! And yes, I am getting way ahead of myself. But a girl can dream. I’m just so close.

the cup, kris letang, ovi, double d, bubbles in 7-up ... the beach, um .. purr fect!

the food chain prevails ... nom nom nom ...

Bieksa the Berserker was the only one who knew where the biscuit was on the ice … with a freaky deaky goal in double OT and down go the Sharks. It’s 17 years to the day that Vancouver claims the Western Conference title in a double OT as well and will face either Boston or Tampa Bay for Lord Stanley’s Cup. I’d call it Freaky Friday but it’s Tuesday so go figure!

foxy friday alum ryan kesler - who was injured snapped this one by anti-nemesis for a biscuit

But riddle me this? I get that Vancouver was excited about this, but good gravy  why would you drop confetti on the ice before the presentation and then have your players out there skating around? Are you TRYING to trip them? Kesler was already injured and Luongo has a hard enough time stopping the puck as it is, he doesn’t need a greater handicap!

this is the only dance move i know, the robot, get it, sedin-the-machine, the robot, oh, if I have to explain it's not a joke.

So since I picked them for the Western Conference winner winner chicken dinner back in September, here’s a little ra-ra for your cha-cha Sedin-machines and Foxy Ryan Kesler and Bieksa-Lenta: