Hockey: cheaper than therapy.  Come back soon.

To break that tension, let’s ask Tumblr how our favorite NHL players are spending their days.

iCarly wins you over on the issue of his hair by strutting the rest of his impressive self.

Karl Alzner tries to distract you by walking away.

We don’t know, Karl.  Mike’s got a cute date too…

Meanwhile Taylor Hall is home alone, rapping the Nicki Minaj part of ‘Beauty and a Beat’ into a wooden spoon while he bakes sad, lonely brownies. #its3012tonight

Equally sad (because RNH can’t bake) is Ebs, just watching his highlight reel and waiting for Hallsy to get to OKC.

At least Bobby Ryan has better taste in TV (I’m talking about GL, people!).

And Richie’s found someone to hate on since Crosby’s too far away.

While everyone else is in lurrrrrve and shouting it all over town – Gingeroux’s Tweeting about his girlfriend, Max Talbot’s posting photos and I heard that Rick Nash got engaged.  Chuck, is there something you’d like to tell us?

In this year’s Stanley Cup Playoffs, the fates select which beards will have a chance to realize their true potential.

Five teams remain. Five beards (OK, six) have emerged as top contenders for Beard of the Year.

None of these teams made it past the second round last season, so the promise of greater bearded glory shines bright. Some faces are familiar, some are new. All are hairy.

Read more [HERE]

As the old adage goes, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t talk to opposing teams’ fans during the playoffs.”  Since I can’t say anything about the Bruins that couldn’t later be used against me in a court of law, I will instead focus on what I did and didn’t like about the Caps game 3 effort last night.

1) Karl Alzner

I love you. This was stupid in a hundred ways but I love you.  [video]

He’s the third man into this scrum for sure – just the 857th penalty not called last night, on either team, including about five in the ten seconds prior.  The Caps were already shorthanded and this could have really put them in a tough… oh wait, they lost anyway.  So I don’t care!

“I don’t even know what to say on my side to show I’m not a crybaby,” Lucic said with a laugh. “That’s a lot coming from a guy who I think has two roughing penalties in three years.”  – Washingtonpost.com

That is exactly why this was awesome. Get in there, Karl! What are you going to do, make Looch play tougher? Not possible. Make him fight you?  Like he needs a reason, and even now you’re not at the top of his list.  Overall this was harmless to everything but the fact that we’ll remember it.  Put it with the “shhhh” and the salute as a little something that can go a long way for your team.

Can't wait to see your beard in Round 2.

2) Up-Tempo Hockey

The first period was blistering.  Caps fans live in fear of the surprise appearance by that team from this season who didn’t care, the one with cement skates and a hangover.  But last night we got the zip, and we got it early.  Too bad for Ovi he used 90% of his energy in the first period, checking everything that moved, then ran out of gas.  Get him a Power Bar, Dale, and get him back out there!  Great hustle from the forwards last night – especially Brouwer and Brooks.

3) Defense

DISLIKE.  There is a Jeff Schultz-sized hole in our blueline.  Is this guy really our best option?  Every time he comes near the puck, Gator yells, “Schultz!” like Seinfeld yells, “Newman!”  Orlov is a spastic 7th grader, but at least he’s quick.  Also, Mike Green – he managed four more shots last night, but still seems to go from great play to complete lapse every possession.  The Bruins can play tighter and the Caps better figure this out before they do.

4) Cross-Ice Passes Down Low

The Caps seem to have finally conquered their demon of consistently getting into the offensive zone.  It’s not always clean, but it’s better.  Now they are hung up on cross-ice passes below the hash marks.  It nearly worked in the first, but the Bruins closed that hole.  The Caps continued to try ad nauseum – their game needs to be more adaptable/unpredictable.

5) Crash the Net

You know the game where you guess how many jellybeans are in the huge jar and if you win, you get the jellybeans?  No one can guess how many times Russian Machine Never Breaks has implored this team to crash the net all season – it’s well over a billion.  The Caps should replace #4 with this idea, because I like jellybeans.

And) Nicklas Backstrom

We know you’re frustrated, Piglet.  We know Thomas clocked you with a blocker after a whistle in game 1 and didn’t get called.  That’s why it felt so damned good when you beat him for the double-OT winner next time.  Please continue to respond as such… if you get the chance.

This is just dumb.  The game is over.  Everyone has been running everyone for free but Backstrom decides to make himself the price of a cross-check that gains nothing.  Hunter expects the NHL to rescind the match penalty and automatic one-game suspension that was assessed to Nicky because it “was not that bad.” [link]  Maybe not – I can’t tell from the video if he gets Peverly’s face or his arms.  But there’s no question that it’s stupid and he’ll be lucky not to sit the next one out.

For the record, Gator is fine. She saw this last night and didn’t even mention it.  In fact, no one mentioned it. I thought we were friends, you guys!!!

And Karl too, of course.  These two are so freaking precious.

Here’s Zac’s story [link, video] and how you can support his fight against cancer.

(Shamelessly recycling this post for John’s 23 birthday.)

iCarly was born outside of Boston (represent!) and grew up in New Jersey.  We can’t explain the math but this makes us love him even more.  In the 2010 World Junior Championship vs. Canada, John had two goals including the OT winner to give America the gold.  He used to wear 11, but it wasn’t available on the Caps so he chose 74 because 7+4 = 11.  Admit it, that’s cute.  

John has 5 G /17 A this season, which is the last season on his NHL Entry Contract.  He most often plays the blue line with his one true love and defensive partner, Karl Alzner.

If they played on any other team, they’d win Best Bromance.

John’s favorite animal is a monkey and he used to have every birthday party at the Rainforest Cafe.  (I would absolutely make that up if it wasn’t true.)  Off the ice he can be found contemplating the value of oriental rugs:

Training to beat Gator in a wicked round of Apples to Apples [video]:

Representing the Red, White & Blue as his alter-ego, Captain America:

We obviously love iCarly around here.  He strangely resembles both Mena Suvari and Anton Yelchin at the same time.  He wears his helmet tipped back and is forever looking out from underneath the visor, as if it weren’t see-through.  It’s a constant source of amusement for me and Gator.

Mostly we love him because he’s scrappy and plays with a ton of energy.  And he falls down pretty often.  Plus Gator’s mom is going to love him when he shows up to take her to the prom.

For more adorbs, follow John on Twitter: @JohnCarlson74

Cause of death: Mike Green with this dog.

Mike and Piggy.

Why is this picture killing me so much?  Why do I love a shirt that’s kind of ugly and doesn’t even really match his pants?  Who has bacon behind the camera, because the dog is ready to bolt?  These questions I’ll have to answer from the Great Beyond.

The Capitals Canine Calendar is out, featuring players and their pets or shelter pups from the Washington Animal Rescue League.  You can see all the pics here [link] and buy calendars at Kettler IcePlex or on the 100 level of Verizon Center during December games.  Prepare to swoon.

Troy brought his own dogs to the shoot.

Neuvy and Hagrid's dog, Fang.

Nicky is scared of dogs, so they brought a puppy just for him! And I thought Nicky was the puppy the Caps brought just for us.

Take me home tonight...

Karl, always charming everyone.

And just to make sure I’m not alone in the afterlife, you can bury Gator right next to me.

DAMN, CARLY.

Sorry, I digressed!  Can you blame a girl?  Mike was back on the Twitter this weekend – without revealing where he was going (or why, since the Caps were home and he was practicing), he dropped this gem of practical wisdom.  Some might say “Wear socks in the middle of winter,” but they don’t know how warm moccasins can be.

Come support Washington Redskins’ Brian Orakpo, Anthony Armstrong, DeAngelo Hall, Capitals’ John Carlson, Karl Alzner, Nick Backstrom, DC United’s Ben Olsen, Former Redskins Gary Clark, Former Jets John Bootyand others as they take a stand against domestic violence at 2011 “Walk This Way.” [link]

We’d go to this and the Caps Casino Night and more games and better seats and… at this rate, poor Intern Jeff Skinner is never going to get paid.

Is anyone going to this event?  Would you like to be knighted by the Order of the WUYS Empire and report back?

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/11/01/if-we-had-a-million-dollars/feed/ 2 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/10/10/mikey-monday-game-over/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/10/10/mikey-monday-game-over/#comments Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:20:36 +0000 http://whatsupyasieve.com/?p=7366 Gator and I had the best time ever at the Caps Home Opener on Saturday.

First of all, the warm-up skate.  Mike Green, no helmet, cruising around like the Fresh Prince in Summertime – “Two miles an hour so everybody sees you.”  Yes, he’s fresh from the barber shop and basketball courts in the summer got girls there.  I am telling you this guy does his hair with a mascara wand.

Bonus Round: Troy Brouwer.  Gator might be trading in both halves of Carlzer for the new guy.  Welcome to DC!

And the Hurricanes.  As I Tweeted, Eric Staal in person is a MAJOR AWARD.  Carolina, you are now at the top of the WUYS Road Trip List.

And Intern Jeff Skinner is… such an intern.  He can’t stop moving (not for a second) and just runs around the ice like a puppy who ate a whole birthday cake, grinning from ear to ear.  We might have to start paying him for being so adorbs.

Then the game.  EStaal gave my fantasy team 2 goals and 1 assist, and Intern Jeff Skinner had 3 assists.  Show off!  It wasn’t enough though because every Capital had a point.  Sasha Fierce scored on this sick breakaway pass from iCarly [link]:

Brooks scored on a wrister from Ovi & Nicky [link], and Nicky had a couple of big hits in the game.  Everyone was on the board and I said to Gator, “All we need now is a Mike to score on a pass from Nicky!”  Right?!  This whole “I control the universe” thing is getting a little out of control.  The Canes tied the game with just 1:19 to play and then in overtime, this happened:

From stam-bam-thankyou-maam.tumblr.com

Yes, that’s Mike with the OT winner from Nicky just like I ordered.  And Wideman  for the fantasy team bonus!.  In real life it looked like:

I tackled Gator.  It was pandemonium and Mike was First Star AGAIN.  That’s two games in a row!  GAME OVER, thank you very much.  Mikey post-game interview here.  Post game Pants & Gator:

Tonight, it’s Stammertime.  We won’t even know which way to look.

That's me and Nicky B. Happy Pants.

The day started with Gator and Slapshot fist-pumping around 11 AM (it’s never too early).  As you can see we are already holding beers.

Liz got to see a real live Red Wing and I spent the entire panel on Rules & Enforcement thinking how great “Shannon Shanahan” sounds.  Actually I thought it was really interesting, especially Bill McCreary.

Then we scored good seats for the HBO 24/7 Behind the Scenes panel, which may have been a bad thing.  The minute Ovi came on stage, Gator and I had the same reaction:  “Aw crap. He’s kind of hot.” (Insert Dawn’s evil laugh.)

I immediately drained my beer.  The discussion began by playing the last 5 minutes of the last episode.  Everyone booed Crosby and I tried not to cry.  Or look at Ovi’s legs.  You know the part of “The Holiday” where Kate Winslet puts her head in the oven, then runs to the window and says “Low point!” over and over?  That was me.

The panel was dead boring – even Mike Vogel couldn’t save it.  One of the HBO guys needed to get the hook.  Boudreau looked off toward the smell of chicken tenders while  Ovi gave us the evil eye for whispering in the audience.

Luckily it was Highlight of the Day time next.  John Carlson & Karl Alzner in the Kids Press Conference – you’d die from the adorableness.  They cracked everyone up as little kids asked things like “What’s your favorite animal and why?”  Carly loves monkeys and he’s not embarrassed.  Birthday parties at Rainforest Cafe.

Nicky B was supposed to be on this panel, but his chair sat empty.  We never would have survived anyway.  Carly and Alzner are the Capitals Comedy Duo.

While they were ragging each other, I felt a disturbance in The Force.  Mike had arrived.  We weren’t in the right autograph group which was sad, because honestly MG52 looked pretty miserable.  Maybe we could have cheered him up.

Homework sucks. I hate fourth grade.

He did perk up by the end, especially as we watched @cheskiDC get to meet him.  Jealous!  We watched Brooks play ball hockey with the kids, then caught Nicky doing a Comcast interview.  And I got my picture.  People, I’m 5’9″ – Nicky is a big guy.  And has great skin (is it weird to notice that?).  Next year we’re buying photo tickets because we want to give him a hug.

Mikey, Joel Ward and Jason Chimera did a panel with Elliott from DC101 called Giving Back about charity work.  @DLF1021 and Pam win WUYS BFF awards for saving us seats in the 2nd row!

Mike fidgeted for 45 minutes straight.  Seriously.  He had his Winnie the Pooh face on whenever someone else was talking and couldn’t sit still.  Gator kept a lot of sarcastic comments to herself (except about his tight jeans), but let slide a gem as Mike was playing with the collar of his t-shirt:

“His Ed Hardy shirt is itching.”

I assumed the crash position with my head between my knees so no one could see how hard I was laughing.  The 7-year old behind us – playing Nintendo DS complete with headphones – took this opportunity to yell “school bus” or “potato” or something.  Everyone looked.  I nearly lost it.

By the end of the day, we were spent.  Next year we’ll arrive later and probably buy photo tickets.  Then after-party with these guys at Medieval Times.  You’re invited.

It was nice to meet @chelskiDC (sorry we missed you @MercurialWinger!), @DLF1021 and Pam.  And to see @raedanda with her awesome goalie photo!  See you guys again soon. All the rest of the pictures are here!

In attendance were iCarly, Karl Alzner, Zach Boychuk, Cody Franson and Jordan Eberle.  And Nicky of course.  He was rocking a shorter haircut.  I may have enjoyed this photo for five whole minutes before noticing his hair.

No word on who won the tournament (suspect it was not anyone we know), but lots of money was raised and good deeds were done.  Mikey, such a hero.  And Caps’ GMGM himself, George McPhee went to Calgary… but not to play golf.  He apparently went to have lunch with Nicky and Mikey, in the airport.  He just flew in, had lunch, and left [link].  They talked hockey.  So many scenarios present:

1) Nicky and Mikey were totally leaving on their honeymoon on the next flight out.

2) Mikey takes both suitcases since Nicky has to go through customs.

3) If I walked into that restaurant I would go Defcon One and be arrested by the Canadian version of Homeland Security.

Mikey did an interview with Calgary’s Fan960 Radio about the tournament, listen here [link].  Does that station need interns?  Because MG52 is there almost every day lately. (Sit down, Jeff Skinner.)

Check out that tattoo.  I’m not much of a tattoo person (I know, I’m weird) and that is a lot of flowers on a man who rides a Vespa and wears scarves.  But I think I like it.  So long as everyone looks this happy.

You (okay, I) could argue that posting this the night after a humiliating, devastating and potentially franchise-altering loss is not a great idea.  Mikey didn’t even play in game 4 due to a “lower body injury” but he looks fine here.  Yes, literally fine also.  DJ King is wearing a shirt from Mr. Pants’ closet and little Karl Alzner has shaved off his sizable beard.

Anyway, I don’t care.  Over is over and life goes on.  Have fun, guys.  Now to scour the DC metro area for Bon Jovi cover bands, just in case.

UPDATE: The video got deleted.  Sorry boys.  We were having fun on Cinco de Mayo too.

The current leader board across the NHL has four Washington Caps in the top five spots, raising money for the cause: John Erskine, John Carlson, Karl Alzner and Matt Hendricks – you go my boys!

George Parros of the Anaheim Ducks  SHAVED his famous mustache in support of this event!

Mr. Cherrie has also decided to support this cause by growing his own ‘Mo’ much to my dismay but I guess it’s for a good cause. Stay tuned for that  photo at that end of the month!