Last year I had the Caps calendar, and it could be a front runner again this year.  Or I’ll get them all and do a wall display (and no work)!

Remember when Alzer’s dogs ate his whole apartment?

You need a close up, I know.

I will not fancat.

What’s more perfect: tag team puppy kisses or Mike Green’s hair?  Be honest – it’s the hair. Sorry puppies! You are a close second. Meanwhile that cat is praying for strength.

Not to be missed: Tom Wilson’s hair and general Tom Wilson-ness.

Loves long walks in the park.

The dog’s saying, “Are you seeing this?  Is everyone looking?  His hand is on my knee.  I’m gonna faint.”

If only two puppies were enough to occupy John Carlson while someone runs by with a Flowbee.  Perhaps a quick trip to the groomer?

Chuck, I’ve been waiting for you all night by this fence.

The best part: today is Giving Tuesday, and 100% of proceeds from the Caps calendar go to Homeward Trails Animal Rescue!  Get yours here for $20, or tell me and I’ll buy you one at the game tonight.

The Bruins also know where it’s at, releasing their 2015 Pucks & Pups Calendar.  This behind-the-scenes video is heavy on the cute.

I hate being a foregone conclusion.

If I have one objection, it’s that the Bruins calendar does not appear to feature a single Boston Terrier.  None.  The cutest dog on Earth shares your city’s namesake (and that of it’s greatest educational institution), but you’re saying none of your players want to hug one?  Inconceivable.

Chuck, make a call.

I’m going to call this puppy “Mullett.”

The Bruins calendar benefits a host of charities, and you can get it for $20 at shop.NHL.com.

Come on in for an awkward celebratory hug.

We have enjoyed the women’s hockey very much, but so far the Olympics have too much figure skating.  I can’t take the pressure, the sheer shirts or the whole single/dual combat nature of the sport.  I need collective victory and shared blame.  I need teams.

So thank you, America, for winning your first game and doing so spectacularly.  At 8:30 AM I opened one eye, saw a 7-1 score and went back to sleep.  Highlights will suffice, especially those involving John Carlson (while he wears a helmet because this hair doesn’t translate into any language).

It was a multi-multi-point game for a lot of guys on the US roster and an excellent start to the tournament.

Almost as pretty as Patrick Kane’s smile in this McDonald’s commercial:

Now it’s time for Team Canada.  Am I excited?

Just a little bit?

Aw yeah.

And by your face, I mean Mike Green’s.

The Capitals Convention was this weekend, so Mike’s friends are along to make your Monday better.  I had a hot date with Deb (@DLF1021) and Pam (@sunnyinNJ) who packed their high-powered cameras.  Every picture here is used with their permission – please don’t steal them!

There was a player ping pong tournament in which Nicky B looked adorable:

He got in trouble for cursing at a later panel.  Piglet dropping f-bombs.

And Troy Brouwer wore these shorts:

Photographing the screen was the only way to get all that, but here’s a money shot from RussianMachineNeverBreaks.com.

The competition was (not at all) serious.

While Deb & Pam watched shorts run around on stage, my randomly selected autograph session ticket ended up being for Mike Green.  I personally vouch for his hair being 1000% and I even managed not to fall off the stage.

Just when I thought the highlight of the day had happened, Mike participated in a cooking competition.  Making grilled cheese sandwiches.

Did I write this script or what?  While the PA played Bieber and Britney, Mike and his fan-assistants won all three rounds of the contest.  He looked pretty pleased with himself and relieved not to have set the place on fire.

All this *and* I can boil water.

While we all have a weakness for sandwiches, the best panel of the day was Locker Room Stories hosted by @wyshynski.

Brooks Laich, Eric Fehr and Aaron Volpatti told lots of redacted stories about pranks and superstitions that had us cracking up and other players’ ears ringing, even on their new teams.

We also decided that Brooks Laich should run for President.  He’s diplomatic and sensible all while being ridiculously charming and having great legs.  It’s a combination so powerful the law should overlook the fact he wasn’t born in the USA.

It wasn’t me.

Deb and Pam capped off their weekend with Caps practice yesterday, which I sadly missed.  Perhaps it was for the best, considering this happened:

Yup, I’ll just stay over.  Behind the glass.  Sitting on my hands.

Welcome back, Monday.

From GongshowGear.com

First of all, who researches these pants?  Do they go around measuring hockey players?  Or better yet, is there a back room and one of those tailor pedestals involved?  Then we could get a squat-test and time how long it takes to get them off… like Field Day at camp, it’s Field Day with Pants.  (See what I did there?)

All you need are some boots with the furrrrrrrr.

A liiiiiiiiiiiiiitle highher…

Secondly, I work for free.  You should see the pillow I sewed in 7th grade Home Ec class!  I’m resourceful too – in case I need to tie two tape measures together to get all the way around some of these boys.

Squats, squats, squats, squats, squats, squats…

“Hockey butt” is, of course, a real thing.  In ski racing we call is “Alpine Ass.”  With the popularity of backsides these days, perhaps I should have kept that up.  The topic was recently featured on ESPN.com and has a Facebook page.  Crosby’s custom jeans are legend.  It perhaps surprises no one that Gingergoux’s backside has it’s own Tumblr.

Yeah, we get it.

Don’t forget the less famous guys who are dragging some serious wagons.  In .gif form, you really have to wonder how iCarly even got these shorts on.

GAH, if only we could pause it! I can.

The phenomenon starts early.  I can guarantee RNH did not buy these shorts in Okalahoma City.

My favorite rap lyric of all time is, “Is that your ass, or’s your mama half reindeer?”  from ‘Shake Ya Tailfeather’ by Nelly.  It’s been on my running mix since 2007.  Today I really hope my work checks my internet search history.  That’ll be a fun meeting.

The best part of these Gongshow pants is the inside.  (Isn’t it always?)  Check out the waistband:

But what does the fly say?!  That’s your mission.  First person to send me a photo of the first word gets a prize.  Bonus points if it’s on a guy when you take it.

Extra bonus points if he can’t get them off.

The event, created by Scott Hartnell, Todd Fedoruk and  Joe Watson from the Caesar’s resort group, featured teams of NHL players in a charity fundraiser for Hurricane Sandy relief.  It sold out Atlantic City’s Boardwalk Hall to nearly 11,000 fans – most of them Rangers and Flyers fans.  They got to see…

James Neal score four goals.  Get it, baby.

Photo by nealwithit18.tumblr.com

Brad Richards and Scott Hartnell were the team captains, which is an impressive amount of hockey hair leading the charge.  Just for Ashley (@a_rake), here’s a photo of Brad doing #longhairdontcare with his helmet off:

Team Richards won 10-6, thanks mainly to King Henrik doing what he does (second) best – goaltending.  He made 56 saves!

His first and most appreciated talent will always be just being this:

Our friend Sonia (@lihui815) clearly knew what she was doing: Documenting the Flow.  Check out all her photos here.

Remember when we were brainwashed and liked Stamkos’ long hair?

I’m so glad those days are over.  Also, Steven is a wonderful human being who signed a puck for a girl whose sign said:

from Puck Daddy

WAITWAITWAIT.  I just have to write something and he’ll do it?  

How long can the sign be?  Can I have more than one sign?  Are there kids in this audience?  They can’t read anyway, right?

Now if someone could talk to iCarly about his hair…

Though there’s something quite Roman gladiator-esque about this look that works for him.  I’m thinking shield, bronze kilt, thighs.

And of course, Scott Hartnell.  He and I really have the same hair.  I’m just not lucky enough to be ginger.

Now back to the good part.  These two photos are from Instagram (kirstenfrances) via Tumblr, and she should get credit for having such an eye for perfection.  We don’t know her, but we love her.

This scored four goals.   Just take a moment to soak it all in.

Bravo to everyone who contributed their time and effort to make Operation Hat Trick a success, and it sounds like a lot of fun.  There’s talk of another charity game, perhaps in NYC, perhaps when I have stopped eating 9000 calories a day or have purchased snow pants to wear.  Either way, it’s a field trip.

Photos from the event were a bit limited.  If you’ve got good ones, let us know!

Hockey: cheaper than therapy.  Come back soon.

To break that tension, let’s ask Tumblr how our favorite NHL players are spending their days.

iCarly wins you over on the issue of his hair by strutting the rest of his impressive self.

Karl Alzner tries to distract you by walking away.

We don’t know, Karl.  Mike’s got a cute date too…

Meanwhile Taylor Hall is home alone, rapping the Nicki Minaj part of ‘Beauty and a Beat’ into a wooden spoon while he bakes sad, lonely brownies. #its3012tonight

Equally sad (because RNH can’t bake) is Ebs, just watching his highlight reel and waiting for Hallsy to get to OKC.

At least Bobby Ryan has better taste in TV (I’m talking about GL, people!).

And Richie’s found someone to hate on since Crosby’s too far away.

While everyone else is in lurrrrrve and shouting it all over town – Gingeroux’s Tweeting about his girlfriend, Max Talbot’s posting photos and I heard that Rick Nash got engaged.  Chuck, is there something you’d like to tell us?

Who makes double entendres with random-yet-endearing capitalization?

What Ebs dreams of when he looks in the mirror?

Who needs you to bring them a beer?

Who will buy you popcorn at the movies?

Who thinks college is way different than it really is?

But gets everything else so right?

With all this, a tan, and the potential of a Mike Richards/Jeff Carter Stanley Cup party to contemplate, I think we might get to September after all.

When John Carlson scores a goal, I get irrationally happy.  When that goal is assisted by Karl Alzner, I yell, “Apples to Apples!” and jump around the room.  Can we get this guy a clear mouth guard?

Sadly iCarly’s goal was not enough as the Caps lost an epic triple-overtime game to the Rangers.  I have a new downstairs neighbor (bad timing!) and will probably get an angry call from my landlord today (don’t care!) about the noise.  And the language.  But I don’t plan to settle down anytime soon.

You all thought this was in, right?  I threw my arms up… and Mr. Pants ended up wearing some wine.  Oops.

By the end of the second overtime, I was emotionally exhausted.  I can’t imagine how the players on either team felt, dragging around like anchors on a ship.  They never cease to amaze me – no one who went down for a shot block decided to take a nap or curled up against Nicky B and closed their eyes.  I know most of you were thinking about it.

This Caps team looks confident, strong and, as they have since the playoffs started, they look like a TEAM.  Even Mike Green loved us back last night with five shots on goal.  Bring on Saturday!  Give us more of Braden Holtby’s adorable parents in the stands!

I have to say the Rangers also played a heck of a game, of course.  Ryan McDonagh had over 53 minutes.  WOW.  Ginger Staal had 49-plus.  Bless their hearts if they can even get out of bed today.

It’s great to see Backstrom doing anything these days.  We have not heard that he’s skating or even working out, though he looks energetic here.  Apparently iCarly’s dorky high-five doesn’t count as contact.

As happy as this makes us… Nicklas, we need to talk about your pants.  John’s are excellent color and fit, plus “distressed” or “vintage” if you must.  But yours… is that stonewash?  With black shoes?

They could almost be skinny jeans – I’m not really even sure how you got them on over those legs.  If they’re borrowed from Ovi, you should give them right back.  Unless you’re trying to make that girl in the head-to-toe shamrock romper feel better about what she wore to work.

There are certain things we’re willing to put aside for the love of hockey – Mike’s problem with ‘your’ vs. ‘you’re’ and James Neal’s personal pronoun confusion.  But these jeans and that camouflage Under Armor on Matt Duchene are close to the line.  You’re so perfect and European but even we have limits.

Regardless, we love you.  Come back soon.  Wear hockey pants, they look weird on everyone.

For the record, Gator is fine. She saw this last night and didn’t even mention it.  In fact, no one mentioned it. I thought we were friends, you guys!!!

And Karl too, of course.  These two are so freaking precious.

Here’s Zac’s story [link, video] and how you can support his fight against cancer.

Lots of great photos at www.districtsportspage.com.

During the auction part of the evening, guests could bid on various high-risk scenarios with their favorite hockey players.  Like a Segway Tour with Ovi, Brooks, Knuble and Sasha Fierce, or bowling with Carlzner, Ward and Hendricks.  There is a bowling alley *right* next to Gator’s house and I’d bet money that’s the location.  Time for a new job, I think.

Sorry DSP, but no one else has photos. No one who would could afford the $250 ticket!

Mike was part of a Cooking with the Caps package, including Vokoun and Hamrlik plus a celeb chef.  I’d just like to point out that Mr. Pants is a chef, and one Food Network competition away from being a celebrity (for the record, he would kick ass).  Maybe next year I can win/rig this category?

The highlight of the night was, of course, this:

Squeal. Faint. Repeat.

More goodness at DistrictSportsPage.com and RussianMachineNeverBreaks.com.  Mike’s rehab is still “on schedule” though no return date has been projected [link]

My vacation tan > John's vacation tan

Be jealous.  They were super sweet.  And if iCarly looked more like a Ken doll in real life I think Gator would have hurdled the table.  He is ADORABLE.  Even all caps is not enough to accurately describe him.  Brooks’ eyes are even bluer in real life – not possible, but true.  Makes a girl wish she’d get a flat tire in the rain.

Karl Alzner came with John, because they can’t be apart.  We didn’t get to see him but here’s Exhibit A: “Caps Roomates: Karlzner” video [link].

Then yesterday happened.  Brooks left the game in a bad way with 8 minutes to go in the 2nd period of the 4-1 loss to Boston.  The team hasn’t not commented on his apparent left knee injury because no one can handle anymore bad news around here.  He didn’t practice this morning [link].

The Caps play Florida tomorrow night, and a win would make them #1 in the Southeast.  And it would make us really happy.  So we’re going to be optimistic and Rock the Red and hope there’s anyone left on the ice to Unleash the Fury.

BONUS: If you’re in Chicago (or want to road trip with us), the Chicago Auto Show has Seabrook, Kane, Toews and Stalberg.  Holy Moly. [link]

I can’t think of anything that looks happier than this, except maybe getting to actually see all the photostrips clearly.  But this is pretty much the definition of joy.  And bromance.

If they can’t play hockey, at least they have each other.

(Side note: Mike’s girlfriend is a photographer, presumably responsible for these.  We thank her.  I’m intentionally not posting about her so please leave her and links to her work out of the comments.  Thanks.)

While I was on my honeymoon, Mike and iCarly went on an All-Star Break vacation to the Caymans and posted all kinds of Tweets and photos.

I shouldn’t make fun of anyone’s vacation wear, considering what my hair looked like after a week in Costa Rica.  But those are some short shorts, Mikey!  And this… WOW.  If there’s anyplace on Earth worse than American Apparel, this is what they’re selling.

The boys went deep sea fishing, and iCarly caught dinner.  Showing off for Gator (again).

Now that we’ve all returned from our sunny tropical destinations, back to work.  Sometimes it’s good to be home.

Or it could be because I got my Backstrom shirt in the mail yesterday, and I was listening to Robyn in the car.  Obviously.

I may have sent a series of texts that looked like: “Gator, Nicky joined Twitter.  GATOR, HE JOINED TWITTER!!!”  Then I calmed down, and laughed because NB was following 5 people and Mike wasn’t one of them.  To his defense, neither were Ovi, Carlson, Knuble or Alzner.  But still.

So far, Nicky is winning the grammatical battle for my heart.  Anyone who uses that many exclamation points is going to fit in around here.

Now, the next time any sort of adult beverage is within reach, someone please take my phone away.  “Don’t Drink and Hockey” really means “Don’t Drink and Tweet at Hockey Players.”

We’ve been planning a post about players on Twitter, but the list grows so fast I can’t keep up.  There’s an NHLPA “Player Tracker” app that supposedly runs all their Tweets but I don’t think it’s current.  Anyone have suggestions?

(Shamelessly recycling this post for John’s 23 birthday.)

iCarly was born outside of Boston (represent!) and grew up in New Jersey.  We can’t explain the math but this makes us love him even more.  In the 2010 World Junior Championship vs. Canada, John had two goals including the OT winner to give America the gold.  He used to wear 11, but it wasn’t available on the Caps so he chose 74 because 7+4 = 11.  Admit it, that’s cute.  

John has 5 G /17 A this season, which is the last season on his NHL Entry Contract.  He most often plays the blue line with his one true love and defensive partner, Karl Alzner.

If they played on any other team, they’d win Best Bromance.

John’s favorite animal is a monkey and he used to have every birthday party at the Rainforest Cafe.  (I would absolutely make that up if it wasn’t true.)  Off the ice he can be found contemplating the value of oriental rugs:

Training to beat Gator in a wicked round of Apples to Apples [video]:

Representing the Red, White & Blue as his alter-ego, Captain America:

We obviously love iCarly around here.  He strangely resembles both Mena Suvari and Anton Yelchin at the same time.  He wears his helmet tipped back and is forever looking out from underneath the visor, as if it weren’t see-through.  It’s a constant source of amusement for me and Gator.

Mostly we love him because he’s scrappy and plays with a ton of energy.  And he falls down pretty often.  Plus Gator’s mom is going to love him when he shows up to take her to the prom.

For more adorbs, follow John on Twitter: @JohnCarlson74

Don’t pretend you didn’t consider the same.

Now the thought has crossed my mind again and I blame the Caps.

The annual Family-to-Family holiday gift presentation was yesterday.  Players from the Caps, Wizards and Mystics visit families who are having a tough time and bring them Christmas cheer.  It’s so darned nice, like every time a bell rings someone gives iCarly the microphone.

Look who was there!  SANTA IS OBVIOUSLY REAL and he got my letter(s).

Nicky: Wait, this isn’t the nice list.

Mike: That list is boring.  Next stop, WUYS offices.

Watch the adorable video here and Happy Holidays!!

Cause of death: Mike Green with this dog.

Mike and Piggy.

Why is this picture killing me so much?  Why do I love a shirt that’s kind of ugly and doesn’t even really match his pants?  Who has bacon behind the camera, because the dog is ready to bolt?  These questions I’ll have to answer from the Great Beyond.

The Capitals Canine Calendar is out, featuring players and their pets or shelter pups from the Washington Animal Rescue League.  You can see all the pics here [link] and buy calendars at Kettler IcePlex or on the 100 level of Verizon Center during December games.  Prepare to swoon.

Troy brought his own dogs to the shoot.

Neuvy and Hagrid's dog, Fang.

Nicky is scared of dogs, so they brought a puppy just for him! And I thought Nicky was the puppy the Caps brought just for us.

Take me home tonight...

Karl, always charming everyone.

And just to make sure I’m not alone in the afterlife, you can bury Gator right next to me.

DAMN, CARLY.

Sorry, I digressed!  Can you blame a girl?  Mike was back on the Twitter this weekend – without revealing where he was going (or why, since the Caps were home and he was practicing), he dropped this gem of practical wisdom.  Some might say “Wear socks in the middle of winter,” but they don’t know how warm moccasins can be.

Press three for Intern Jeff Skinner.

Mike was as excited as Gator and I about the Caps putting together a serious, solid win.  Ovi had a goal (haven’t typed that in a long time), Nicky and Jeff Halpern each 1 G/1 A, Troy Brouwer had a Gordie Howe hat trick and iCarly rocked 1 G/2 A.  That’s two three-point games in a row for John!  Someone told him Gator wants points for Christmas.  He had a beast of a game and was named First Star.

Santa's coming?! I know him!!

Sasha Fierce missed two games with a minor shoulder injury, and was back in the lineup last night with 15+ min of ice time.  No points for Semin (in his last 5 games), but dear God we can’t have everything!  Settle for the Caps’s PK clicking, killing 6 of 7 minors.  Overall their PK ranks 24th in the NHL – and it’s usually Sasha in the box anyway.  Could it be the Capitals are getting back on track?

Favorite fake Twitter of the day.

Tweeting while biking it’s easy (I once texted Gator from the elliptical, almost resulted in me going on injured reserve), but it’s worth it.  Last night gave everyone a lot of hope, something the Caps sorely need.  Now if they can string together a few wins under Hunter, Ovi can figure his shit out and Mikey can get back in the lineup, we’ll be in business.  And if he can’t play, at least he should cheer where we can hear/read it.

Favorite real Twitter of the day.

(Instances in which I will forgive the your vs. you’re error are limited to big wins, hockey players and social media.  And so begin my dropping standards.)

Come support Washington Redskins’ Brian Orakpo, Anthony Armstrong, DeAngelo Hall, Capitals’ John Carlson, Karl Alzner, Nick Backstrom, DC United’s Ben Olsen, Former Redskins Gary Clark, Former Jets John Bootyand others as they take a stand against domestic violence at 2011 “Walk This Way.” [link]

We’d go to this and the Caps Casino Night and more games and better seats and… at this rate, poor Intern Jeff Skinner is never going to get paid.

Is anyone going to this event?  Would you like to be knighted by the Order of the WUYS Empire and report back?

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/11/01/if-we-had-a-million-dollars/feed/ 2 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/10/24/as-you-wish/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/10/24/as-you-wish/#comments Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:56:34 +0000 http://whatsupyasieve.com/?p=7644 How am I supposed to get any work done around here?!?!?!

Apparently that’s not enough.  I’m only mostly dead, because I croaked “true love” with my second-to-last breath, so @CapsCR had to back up and run me over again:

I’ll tell you what he can take home.

And just to make sure no one was left in the office, there’s this one of iCarly.  Gator almost made it out of here alive.

Tell Santa about it now – you’re going to need 12 copies of this calendar so you don’t wear out the pages turning them every day.