(To those of you lobbying for a Cam Talbot feature, you’ll have to wait until they are playing someone I hate in the post-season. I’m not about to let Foxy Friday accidentally help a Ranger right now.)

Not every team’s fate is sealed, but we’re being reasonable with Wild Card possibilities. This likely means someone will go 9-0 and ruin our lives. Forgoing teams that could still make it (Bruins, FlapAntlers), here’s a last look at the Eastern Conference foxes we’ll miss come April 12. Enjoy them while you can.

Philadelphia Flyers

I WON’T MISS YOU. I don’t care how ginger you are, how curly, how shirtlessly beer pong proficient. Two more games vs Pittsburgh will be plenty, thanks. I don’t think about you when you’re not here.

But if UFA MDZ signs elsewhere, I might be allowed to miss him a little.  We’ll have to see how this skate-gash-to-the-neck (warning: gross photo) heals, because we’re only pretending to believe his “I got bitten by a shark” story for one scar. And we’re still waiting for him to request our help in finding dates.

New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique’s cheekbones lead the team with 40 points this season, and he’s all smiles in this post-game interview from early March.  Maybe he could play baseball in the off-season, after this play.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Ryan “Shameless Charming Kid Prop” Johansen deserved  his own Foxy Friday after the All-Star Game. I mean, the Flying V? What else does a guy have to do? Blame Ekblad.  But someday, Ry – probably right around when you take this girl to the prom.

If you want to speed up the process, stop wearing hats. Because:

Carolina Hurricanes

After they beat the Pens 257-2 last night (close enough), I am not inclined to include the Hurricanes in this post. But Intern Jeff Skinner already volunteered to work all summer, since… well, you know. And I am weak. Plus someone needs to censor what Jeff does while wearing a white t-shirt.

Don’t just give it away, Jeff! You’re not a Kardashian. (Also, he’s scared of rides at the fair. He just wants to wait in line with you and hold your purse. We are raising this guy right.)

Honorable Mention: Jordan Staal. He reminded us yesterday that he still exists/is handsome. Video @penguins.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t think anyone will miss the Leafs this season, especially because our favorite Leaf is Elisha Cuthbert and she’s back on our TV. (You can watch One Big Happy here.) The Leafs are definitely not one big anything, unless it’s a steaming pile of mess, and there is no happy. Even Joffrey Lupul is posting sad lyrics as status updates, like a maudlin 10th grader. [song]

But at least when the season ends, he still looks like this.

HOLD UP. Did you know you can rate Joffrey’s outfits and raise money for charity?! How have we never known this, we’ve just been doing it for free! Our work, going to waste! Visit lupulstyle.com to vote.

Buffalo Sabres

Poor Zach Bogosian, getting traded to Buffalo. Update NY still loves flannel and fried chicken, though.

At least he’s not alone. Marcus Foligno wants to know if, while you were watching his brother captain a squad of drafting drunks at the All-Star Game, you thought about the cold, windswept blue of his eyes [video]:

No? Well, there’s always next year. And alllllllllll summer. Next week we’ll say goodbye to what’s left of the West, then it’s on to the playoffs we go.

The cold kind of always bothered me anyway.

In case you’re not hip to the Instagram, it is an online photo/video-sharing & social networking services that lets users take photos, apply a digital filter, upload them, and share them with the world.

There are well over 30 million accounts on Instagram, and while the majority of them seem to be teenage girls taking countless selfies making the duck face or people taking photos of their food (of which I am guilty), there are a few accounts that truly capture our attention – the NHL hockey player.

Their accounts aren’t run by some publicist or PR team.

It isn’t some slick marketing tool.

It’s just regular dudes, being silly and taking photos of their lives.

Instagram is foxy because it gives us, as fans, a snapshot into who these players are off the ice.

Instagram is foxy because it endears these super human athletes to us more.

Instragram is also foxy because it provides endless entertainment, in pictographic form.

Here are a few of our faves –

b_ryan9 – Bobby Ryan.  Lots of photos of adorable cats.

hank30nyr – Henrik Lundqvist. No explanation needed.

EMALKIN71_  – Geno Malkin.  Lots of photos of him being Russian and hilarious.

No52 – Mike Green.  All things hipster.

colbycohen36 – Colby Cohen.  A boy and his golden retriever.

bollig87 – Brandon Bollig. Beards. Babies.  Chicago.

jlupul – Joffrey Lupul.  Many photos of him looking exceptionally attractive. But sadly none from the Body Issue.

DD2527 – Dustin Penner. I love him so hard. So incredibly hard. Can’t we just date already?

harryz87 – Harry Zolnierczyk.  This photo alone is worth the follow.

tseguin92 – Tyler Seguin.  Recently reactivated.  Nearly not enough photos of Marshall.

It’s said that 58 photos and a new user is gained every second on Instagram.  So where are you, NHLers?

Time to get on your photo on!

So WUYS, what your favorite NHL instagram account?  Share it with us in the comments section!

Saved it from Puck Daddy because they named the file “nakedlupul1.jpg.”

His name is still Joffrey, which is unfortunate.  I bet he gets chills whenever Arya whispers her list.

Here’s a whole gallery of behind the scenes photos from this year’s Body Issue shoots.  Well not BEHIND the scenes, literally – yikes, you need to be careful when talking about this kind of picture.  Anyway, sans lighting and color mapping and well, clothes, Loops looks pretty good.

We see you, dude at the back.  Craning your neck.

The artsy finished product:

Remember that time Cosmo picked Kessel as their hottest Maple Leaf? 

Not to complain about gifts or snacks or naked pictures of hot guys, but I always think the NHL player gets the most boring shot in the every Body Issue.  Other athletes are doing cute things, funny or active things – they’re laying on a pool float or sneaking out a of hotel room with no pants on.  The hockey ones are always so… meh.  Here Ryan Kesler, hold this rock.

This should’ve featured Loops as The David, modestly wearing a Maple Leafs logo.  Obviously.

Against all reasoning, we love this shot (which won’t make print).  Less naked?  More clothing?  That seems cruelly, disappointingly backward but this picture is much sexier.

$20 if you spray Loops with that hose, my friend.

Or this one.  Oh, you’re in a bathrobe, driving an Aston Martin?  Is that Starbucks cup for us?  Because now we’re talking, Joffrey.  Drive on.

Loops had a naked photo internet scandal a while back – Google it if you must, we suggest you don’t.  And don’t read about the Crossing Broad stuff about the girl.  Oh, now you’re going to, aren’t you?  You’ve been warned.  So were they, hopefully by their parents, of being haunted forever by bad, trashy decision.

No one listens.

More on The Body Issue here, including video – but not of Joff.  Remember, ESPN hates hockey.

NHL Awards in Las Vegas!

Bring on the attractive hockey players in impeccably fitted suits.  Bring on the awkward (and hilarious) red carpet interviews.   Bring on the D-list celebrities who can’t pronounce the winner’s name (Martin St. Lewis!).

Here’s who we think is going to bring on the hardware…

Hart (Lundqvist/Malkin/Stamkos)

Should: Chuck says Lundqvist. Pants says Malkin.
Will: Chuck says Lundqvist. Pants says Malkin.

Split decision on this one. King Henrik kept the Rangers at first in the East pretty much all season – without so much as a hair out of place. But the day there is no room for Comeback Crosby on the Pens’ first line is the day Malkin deserves the Hart.

Vezina: (Lundqvist/Rinne/Quick)

Should: Quick
Will: Quick

A league-high 10 shutouts saved the Kings’ 29th ranked offense. Plus, he’s already got the Conn Smythe Trophy and a Stanley Cup, so what’s one more?

*harumph* *crosses arms*

Norris (Chara/Karlsson/Weber)

Should: Chara
Will: Chara

We’re going to have the give this one to Chara. Because you won’t like him when he’s angry. CHARA SMASH!

Calder (Henrique/Landeskog/Nugent-Hopkins)

Should: Landeskog
Will: Nugent-Hopkins

No doubt The Nuge was the more electric rookie this season, but we’re big fans of Gabe the Babe. The potential for Landeskoging tips the scales here.

Lady Byng (Brian Campbell/Eberle/Moulson)

Should: Campbell
Will: Campbell

No defenseman has won in over fifty years – it’s time!  Campbell’s 6 PIM in 82 games would be enough – but he also doubled last season’s production, notching 53 points from the blue line.

Selke (Backes/Bergeron/Datsyuk)

Should: Bergeron
Will: Bergeron

His season was full of Selke-worthy numbers and stats (like winning 53% of faceoffs when shorthanded) so we’re rooting for the highly-underrated Bergeron to be the first Bruin to take home the trophy since 1982.

Adams (Hitchcock/MacLean/Tortorella)

Should: Hitchcock
Will: Hitchcock

In November, the Blues were not good. Enter Ken Hitchcock. They got good. Although their playoff run ended early, Hitchcock managed to change the culture of the Blues and help position the franchise as a team to be watched.

Masterton (Alfredsson/Lupul/Pacioretty)

Should: Lupul
Will: Alfredsson

We admire Alfredsson’s seniority and dedication to the Sens, but Lupul’s comeback from a spinal cord contusion and life-threatening blood infection only to be dropped by the Ducks then put up career best numbers in struggling Toronto?  Our hero.

Lindsay — Player MVP (Lundqvist/Malkin/Stamkos)

Should: Malkin
Will: Malkin

Malkin does it all – including make his teammates better players. Everybody wants to be on that line.

GM of the Year: (Doug Armstrong/David Poile/Dale Tallon)

Should: Dale Tallon
Will: Dale Tallon

Extreme Makeover: Hockey Edition. Tallon brought in seven of Florida’s top eleven scorers. They landed their first playoff appearance in 12 years and first ever division title with money leftover to buy more rats.

At 8pm tonight, fifty of the best hockey players in the world (38 NHL All-Stars and 12 top rookies) will be up for selection in the Player Fantasy Draft.  All-stars and rookies will be divided into two teams  – Team Alfredsson (aka Team Pants), led by captain Daniel Alfredsson and assistant captain Henrik Lundqvist, and Team Chara (aka Team Chuck), led by captain Zdeno “Z-Big” Chara and assistant captain Joffrey Lupul.

Quick refresher on how the Fantasy Draft works…

• A coin toss will decide first pick, with Alfredsson and Chara, joined by their assistant captains, alternately drafting the All-Stars through 19 rounds
• Each team will consist of three goaltenders, six defensemen and 12 forwards
• Each team’s three goalies must be picked by the end of Round 10
• Each team’s six defensemen must be picked by the conclusion of Round 15
• The 12 Rookies will be divided by the National Hockey League into two groups of six.  At the completion of the 15th round of the draft, one NHL Rookie will be selected to choose which All-Star team his group will join for the skills competition
• As a reward (consolation?), the final player selected in the draft will have $20,000 donated to the grassroots hockey program of his choice

So who’s up for grabs?

After he was selected as a captain, Chara did mention that he was going to take this draft very seriously and do as much research as possible, so it will be interesting to see what his strategy will be.  Think he hit up Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli for some pointers?

Will he take his teammate & Vezina winning goaltender Tim Thomas with the first pick?  Or will the events of this week and the recent revelation that Thomas does not have many friends amoungst his teammates sway Chara’s decision?

Now I’m no prognosticator, but I can tell you what you will see tonight.

• Ridiculous amounts of awkwardness.
• The Sedins  on different teams.
• Kris Letang’s hair looking awesome.
• James Neal’s hair looking like a porcupine.
• Scott Hartnell’s hair looking like a hot mess cavewoman hooker.
• Tight bums.
• Patrick Kane calling Toews to tell him he misses him.
• Awkward interview with last two players remaining.

One thing you won’t see…

And I for one, am gonna miss this.

Derp.

Our lovely followers came up with some fantastic choices, but there was one who stood out amongst the rest…

Joffrey Douglas Sheldon Lupul

courtesy of sammanthamariee.tumblr.com

courtesy of h0ckey-l0ve.tumblr.com

We just don’t hand these out willy-nilly, you know, so why is Joffrey so deserving of the Foxy Friday honor?

• He’s 6’1″, 206lbs.
• 28 years old, born in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta.
• He is TEARIN IT UP for the Leafs this season.  13 goals, 19 assists.  32 points, which puts him as #4 in the league.  Certainly doesn’t hurt that Cartman Phil Kessel is on your line.
  

  Big time.

• Drafted 7th overall in the 2002 Entry Draft.  You know who was the #1 pick that year?  The one and only Rick Nash.
• First player to score a playoff hat-trick in Anaheim franchise history.
• First player to score four playoff goals in one game, including an overtime winner.
• First player to score all four of his team’s goals in a playoff game.
• He has managed to come back from some serious and scary injuries, a spinal cord contusion and an a blood infection after back surgery that would keep him out almost a year. 

• He spells his name all weird.  And we dig it.

That's J-O-F-F...Yea, I know its weird. Just go with it...

• He enjoys playing the guitar.  We’d gladly allow him to serenade us.  Pants likes the love songs of the Barenaked Ladies.  I love me the song stylings of Hall & Oates.
  

  We're totally taking this show on the road. WORLD TOUR!

• He is on the twitter – @jlupul.  And you all know how we feel about hockey players on twitter – tweet GOLD .

They only THINK I'm Canadian...

Foxy Friday Bonus

Check out Joffrey’s crib when he was playing with the Flyers.  

He loves guacamole.  

So do we.