If you weren’t crying, you were the Devils.  No – they were crying too.

This kind of thing doesn’t just happen.  Lately more and more players are moving teams in hopes of a final dash to the little table and a reason to shake Bettman’s hand like they mean it.  2013-14 will be no different.  Here’s a look at some veteran guys trying to get their grooves back.

Jarome Iginla – Boston Bruins

Dust yourself off and try again.  After the trade deadline excitement that sent Iginla to the Bruins Penguins this season, he has landed on the Boston roster.  I would have loved to see him get a full season with Crosby, but the Penguins have $5 to spend and Iginla, at 36, is not a bargain bin guy.

Really this time.

He’ll find a good fit with the Bs, whose team has changed quite a bit from what Iginla would’ve joined in March.  The deal is 1 year/$6 million (base salary plus incentives [link]) – a short term, high price, ‘show me what you’re working with’ contract.  Smart move by the Bruins, good choice by Iggy.

Daniel Alfredsson – Red Wings

If you’re old and want to win before you die, consider the Red Wings!  That should be their slogan.  After 17-years in Ottawa, Daniel Alfredsson peaced out in one big cloud of proverbial dust.

Seems legit.

Read the very funny Puck Daddy take on his departure (Harrison blows the cover on my lobster metaphor for good measure).  Alfie got 1 year/$5.5 million, a lot like Iginla, except he’s already 40.  He basically told the Wings to meet him at the dealership with the keys to a Camaro and no jokes about a mid-life crisis.  Will it work?  Both teams finished 7th in their divisions last year with 56 points.  If we were betting our last, fixed-income retirement dollar, we’d go with the Red Wings too.

Danny Briere – Montreal

I just threw up in my mouth a little.  Apparently fifteen teams were interested in Briere… and he chose the Habs.  Ugh, Danny, WHY!?!  I speak French!  I can estimate distances in metric!  (No, I can’t.)  Why don’t the Capitals care about me and bring me polite, elfin forwards once in a damned while?!  All they did was big fat nothing and I’m stuck here with Mike Green’s hand tattoos and Nicklas Backstrom’s babydaddy rumors.  It’s not like we don’t go to overtime!  GAH.

Old picture. Nice arms.

I admire the gutsiness of Danny’s choice.  He didn’t want to leave Philly, and he could’ve gone to the Islanders – they are $23 million UNDER the cap [CapGeek.com] and after the DiPietro debacle, they’d hardly be fazed if a washed-up old guy fails to hit the 20 goal mark.  Instead, Montreal is an impossibly tough media market.  A veteran player coming off an underperforming season and a compliance buyout could be made to suffer – and already has.  Google it, you’ll see a lot of Montreal fans are more sick about this than I am.  Danny signed for 2-years, $4 mill/year.

Now that Danny is a Hab and I’ll have to follow them a bit, here’s one Canadiens blogger rationally considering Danny’s career, potential and role on the new team.  He writes himself into being almost excited to have Briere on board.  That’s good enough for me.  As is this hilarious blog post, complete with LOTR reference.

Milan Hejduk – Not the Avalanche

For a second there, it was going to be “old folks dance at the family reunion” with Hejduk and Tanguay in Colorado.  Sadly, only I want that and just for Throwback Thursday’s sake.

Word is the Avs will not resign the UFA, who has been with the organization since 1998.  Last season, the Avs gave him a 1-year, $2 million deal.  He won’t get that again.  At 37, his agent says the best look will be a contract with incentives for putting up points (these count against the cap).  That sounds reasonable to me.  With teams giving $4 million-plus, single year deals without guarantees, I imagine Hejduk will find a place that has room under their cap to spend next season.

Jaromir Jagr – Who wants him?

One of many changes so far this off-season, the Bruins will not renew their lease on Jagr.  He made $4.55 million on last year’s contract with Dallas/Boston.  His agent says several teams are interested in signing the 41-year old [link].  Any guesses?  He’s still got it –  9 P in 11 reg season games, 10 A in 22 playoff games – but not to the tune of $4+ million.

(Note: We are not talking about Lecavalier here because 33 is not old. Jerks.)

In this week’s BeardWatch, we give praise to the best of what’s still around in the Conference Championships, your current frontrunners for 2013 Playoff Beard of the Year, Jaromir Jagr, Pascal Dupuis, Johnny Oduya,  and Dustin Penner.

#BeardWatch2013

Read the rest [here].

First, his game tying and then game winning OT goal verses Toronto in Round 1 and now this.

While credit goes to Bergeron for scoring the goal, mad props go to Jaromir Jagr for making it all possible.  His play on Evgeni Malkin along the boards makes that goal possible.

Forget the fact that Jagr is practically pre-historic in hockey years – he is still got it. Oh and Brad Marchand’s pass wasn’t so bad either.

Gregory Campbell is wicked hahd corah.  He blocked a Malkin shot and remained on the ice as the Penguins continued to pressure on the power play.

We all know Campbell is one bad mamma jamma, but this was just amazing.

At first I was all “Why is he limping to the side like his leg was broken? This ain’t no time for the Humpty Dance!”

Well, turns out the Campbell’s leg was, in fact, broken.  Just to reiterate – Campbell played that whole time WITH A BROKEN LEG! I will cut anyone who says that hockey players aren’t the toughest athletes out there.

Campbell is done for the remainder of the playoffs and the Bruins will miss his physicality and depth. However, I have a feeling that his steely determination and self-sacrifice will serve to be an inspiration for his teammates as they prepare for Game 4 and the potential sweep.

David Krejci’s campaign for the Conn Smythe continues.  He is out there shaking hands and kissing babies…and getting all the points. He scored his 9th goal of the playoff and remains as the league’s #1 point-getter this post season with 21 points.

Penguins did play their best game of the series last night…but the Bruins were just a little bit better.

Vokoun recovered well from his first two performances and was excellent in net…but Tuukaa was better.

Although the series is now at 3-0 Bruins, this series, and the playoffs in general, have been anything but easy for the Bruins. Just look at Bergeron’s face.

His bruised and battered visage is a testament to how hard the Bruins have been working, not only in this series but the entire playoffs.

After their Game 7 victory over the Leafs, the Bs seemed to have flipped a switch and reverted to the way they played in their 2011 run to the Stanley Cup.  They are mucking and grinding and playing with a grit and grime that has been their calling card. It might not always be pretty and the goals might not make it to the Top 10 on NHL Network, but they are getting it done when it counts the most.  They are a team that has committed themselves to leave it all out there on the ice, each and every time.

Game 4 is Friday in Boston and the Bruins will have the chance to close out the series with a sweep of the Pens.  If you had told me at the beginning of the playoffs that this is where we’d be right now, I would have called you crazy.

Say what now?

We both would have. The Pens regular season domination was enough to make anyone believe that their road to the Stanley Cup Finals was all but assured.

But the NHL Playoffs are a fickle thing.  They can dismantle contenders with incredible ease.  Or make champions out of underdogs.

Now that the playoffs are three weeks old, it’s time to show cards on a few manscapes that are struggling to make the cut.

Read more of our article on Puck Daddy [here]…

Ready to lead a cavlary charge.

No other horror movie celebrates Hockey with such bad assery!

No, not the floating head of death again!

And Seidenberg tried to take Ovi out with this hit but he found that weebles wobble but they don’t fall down! If Ovi can knock Jagr into next year at the Olympics, you’ll have to try harder Siddy-bergy than this:

As for it being FRIDAY THE 13th – I know we ran this before, but there is no such thing in my world as too much Kris Letang so for your FRIDAY THE 13th MOMENT OF ZEN:

Dawn, Ovi - sorry for the bad season. I do better in play-offs. I promise. BOOM! hahahahahahah

Hockey fans will tell you straight up when something stinks.

I get TPTB wanted to include the fans but thank god we bascially got a bastard child of HISTORY WILL BE MADE! I don’t want to see faux Hollywood replicas of what they think we are doing in our homes/bars/favorites hockey watching spots. Trust me – WE KNOW. And it wasn’t what they were showing us.

I want to see Ovi telling me what he’s GOING to do in the play-offs.

Dear NHL - stilling waiting for Letang's solo "Because of the Cup" ad. Statistically speaking - Pens can win without St. Sid but not with out #58. Just sayin'

I want to see Kris Letang brush his sexy hair out of his face and smile at me as he skates at the screen.

I want to see Erik Karlsson and his glorious mullet, all awkward and sh&t.

Dear little man, may you win the Norris if Kris Letang (a complete dark horse but I wish would win) doesn't.

 Hell, I’d even take Jagr saluting me! (not quite but see below for you hard core philly fans – bless you all!)

You've grown on me like a fungus but you make me laugh - which is hard to do!

Jagr played 11 seasons with the Penguins before being traded to the Capitals, then the Rangers.  After the ’08 season, he returned to the Czech Republic and played three years in their professional league.  Over the summer, he announced his intention to return to the NHL.  Cue the speculation.  Would he come back to finish his Hall of Fame career in the city where he won two Stanley Cups?  Did the bad taste left after his difficult post-Lemiuex captaincy still linger?  Or was it about the money?

Jagr signed a 1-year contract with the Flyers in July, worth $3.3 million.  He said other teams offered more money [link], but he thought Philly had what it takes to win.  He may be right.  So far he has 11 G/19 A playing on the top line.

Less than two hours after signing Jagr, while I was still laughing, the Flyers signed Max Talbot.  No more laughing.

*le sigh*

In 2009, Max scored both goals in Stanley Cup Final Game 7 to seal the Penguins first Cup win since Jagr left.  On paper, that was his claim to fame.  Pens fans know it was more than that – heart, soul and humor all lived in Max.   But how much ice time, and how many more seasons?  He wanted longevity and security; the Pens offered him a three year deal.  He went to Philly for five years and $9 million [link].  Max already has more goals (9) this year than ever before, and his well on his way the scoring more points (15 now) than his career high (26).  We’re glad to see him doing well even if we have to swallow back the bile to say that.

So, tonight.  I’m sure Jagr will get the mega-boo.  Max will get the initial cheer, because you always love your ex-boyfriends just a little even if they break your heart.  After that, it’s the boo for Talbo too, I’m afraid.  I doubt he’ll be telling anybody to “shhhh.”

Game day interviews with Jagr and Talbot here, thanks to PensTV.

The Penguins and Flyers are currently tied with 46 points, behind the Rangers 48 points in the Atlantic Division.   Pittsburgh has so many injuries their locker room has moved to a triage tent in the parking lot.  Philly is without Pronger, likely for the season, but Giroux’s concussion comeback seems to be legit – he leads the NHL with 44 points. (WAIT, CLAUDE GIROUX IS 23 YEARS OLD?  What the eff?!?)

I’m skipping Sherlock Holmes for the fourth night in a row to be home for this one, I’m expecting a big game out of my boys.  We’re having a few banner seasons of our own: Malkin has 42 points, Neal has 21 goals.  It’s not the Two-Headed Monster but it’s still really freaking good.

The Flyers have hit a rough stretch, losing 4 of 5 and philosopher-goalie extraordinaire Ilya Bryzgalov has lost his last 4 starts with a GAA over 4.5 (seriously though, love this guy).  Backup tender Bobrovsky has had the Pens number in past seasons.  No word on who will start in Philly’s net tonight.

While these signs were meant for Caps fans back on 12/13, I think we can agree they apply here as well:

From the hilarity of www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com

GO PENS!

Whoever gave us bangs should pay for this mistake.

But I want this to be the one that works.  Call it the mullet effect, or the fact that he’s the only person on Earth whose hair looked worse than mine in 1991.  As we get older and everyone we used to love retires, watching Jagr play makes me feel like a little kid again.

The first seven Flyers games came and went with people holding their breath.  He can skate, he can pass.  But can Jagr still score at this level, with the flair of 20 (yes, 20!) years ago?  Well he scored his first and second goals of the season last night, and they are beauties:

Don’t mind me while I split this defense.

Don’t mind me while I nail this breakaway.

He has 5 assists to go along with his 2 goals, putting him 27th in the NHL for points.  It’s only been 3 weeks and time will tell if age and non-NHL training can keep up with a grueling season.  But so far… I’m pretty of impressed.  And not just by how much better we both look now.

Class this semester is on Thursdays, which means that I’m going to have to tape alot of games this year, only to watch them when I get home at 9:30pm.

Chuck no likey.

Yesterday, I taped the Bruins game (natch) and couldn’t race home fast enough to watch my beloved Killer Bs raise their championship banner.

Two words.  Goose. Bumps.

I’m not an overly sentimental person (except at Pants’ wedding when she danced with her dad.  Me = hot mess), but last night, I was all dewy-eyed and loved up over the Bruins’ banner ceremony.

The old generation (1972 Bruins)  passing the proverbial torch to the new generation (2011 Bruins). 93 year old yet spritely Milt Schmidt arm-in-arm with Bobby Orr just made me all happy.

It was a well-done, exhilarating, and classy production.

Legendary.

Pants and I couldn’t have done it better ourselves.

Enough with the lovefest! Let’s play some HOCKEY!

And play we did.

Despite the loss, the fact is that there are 81 games left.  Still a lot of season left to play.

Five other facts from last night’s Bruins/Flyers match up.

1) Timmy’s smile is infectious.  Like ebola.

2) Pierre Maguire looks like a muppet.

meep meep meep

3) Brad Marchand shall now be known as Squirrel.  He’s right squirrely that one.  Quick.  Nimble.  Darting in and out of the Flyers’ defense.  Collecting hockey pucks like acorns.

SQUIRREL!

4) Jaromir Jagr has been in the NHL since he was a fetus (okay, since he was 18), but dude can still play.  Jagr + Giroux + van Reemsdyk could be a nasty combination this season.  Flyers coach said that Jagr will come back to the rink AFTER having already practiced that day to work out again.  Really?  Way to make everyone else in the hockey world look straight up lazy.

Toews, Letang, Nash ain't got nothing on my workout videos.

5) Our boy Tyler Seguin looked very mature on the ice.  Making breaks, smart plays, crisp passes to his BFF Marchand.  But he’s only 20.  Still plenty more of this yet to come.

Caps TV did a totally boring Mike Green birthday segment in which Mike showed off this hair.  No casual helmet toss or Fighting Irish stance – this is gel, mousse and possibly a blow dryer.  Or a protractor.  (FYI: I had to straight up Google “math tool half circle” to remember what that was called.)

Non-hockey career? Architect.

See the full action in the video.

This brings us to a very valid old time hockey topic: Hockey Hair.  Chuck and I have long rejoiced in the glory of hockey hair, most specifically when it comes to Mike Modano.  He never could close his mouth all the way and his wife dated a Backstreet Boy, but his hair is glorious.

Shampoo commercial.

The rule of Hockey Hair is best summed up by Austin Powers: “Feed my fish.  Not too much!” Just enough to show from under your helmet, not enough to add extra cranial padding.  And it’s not necessarily a mullet – in fact, with Intergalactic Mullet Champion Barry Melrose hanging around, it’s best not to even try.  Unless you’re Jaromir Jagr, who once fled Pittsburgh fans at the mall by ducking into a store, buying a dress and coming out costumed as the ugliest woman alive.  Not a joke.  Also Patrick Kane, who would have gotten this as a fraternity bet even if he didn’t play hockey.  That or shave off his eyebrows.

Buzz cut, steps and BANGS. That shizz has BANGS.

A few guys sport the full ‘fro – I can talk because my hair looks like this.  But I’m a girl.  At least I would have have the sense to ponytail that nonsense before putting on a helmet.  Not to mention – aren’t you sweating?  My hair is like a sweater on my head and gets everywhere – I can barely eat without a hair tie.

Guess the hockey players.

There is a place for this – on unattractive guys.  Comedy hair, if you will.  It works or it doesn’t, but we will always remember you.  Then there are some guys who rock it right – and totally rock without it – for whom hockey hair is the crowning glory on their total package of awesome.

Staal (beardfail), Letang (beardwin, FML)... and Forsberg, the king.

Chuck and Dawn – who did I miss?  Anyone whose locks you can’t live without?  Where is the evolution of hockey hair leading?  We could go bald-is-sexy like Getzlaf, or curl & dye like Henrik Lundqvist… if there aren’t any variations left on Mike’s mohawk.

Mike Green, 2011