Movember is over!  Hockey players can now walk past schools without drawing police attention.

Don’t be shy about watching him drink that water twice.

Intern Jeff Skinner’s in the office first every day.

And when I’m not around, he gets mad and has 3-point games to beat the Caps.

John Tavares is popping his collar, proving that not even John Tavares can pull off a popped collar.  (Just when he’s getting the pants right!)

Alex Steen is still wondering why we have no idea who Alex Steen is.  Foxy Friday, check.  2nd in goals.  Sleeve tattoo, yes.  What does a guy have to do?

Ovi leads the league with 21 goals.  He is also featured in Maxim Russia’s December issue dressed, I think, as Johnny 5 from Short Circuit.

From Japer’s Rink via Washington Post

After watching adorable otter footage, YouTube suggested I watch 11 more cute animal videos and 1 of Eric Staal giving a tour of his house.  How does it know?

Malkin is the NHL’s #1 Star of the Week AGAIN.  Geno, you’re going to become like those Bed, Bath & Beyonce 20% off coupons.  We get them so often they stop being… no they don’t.  I collect them.

Josh Harding has 3 shutouts plus a League-leading 1.45 GAA.  Did you know he also has Multiple sclerosis?  Right, you did.  The only person who doesn’t seem to know that is Josh Harding.  This guy is incredible.  Good goaltending is how a team ranked 21 in Goals For is 9th in the overall standings.

Meanwhile, the Minneapolis Star Tribune struggles with “Wild” as a plural.

The Blackhawks are the #1 team in the League.  They lost last night after winning 6 straight – a  little snag, that’s all.

The Sharks have also won 6 in a row.  Are wins free out west?  Where do all these points come from?  It’s not as of the Western Conf. is half undefeated and the other half never win.  The Oilers aren’t even the worst (or even 2nd-worst) team in the League!

With all the points and the Tweets, Selena Gomez please just call Logan Couture one time so he can move on.

Mike Green scored his first of the season last night!  I missed it and the Caps lost anyway, but still.  You’ve got to start somewhere.

Or not.

The city of New York continues to ruin our lives.  First this Jacoby Ellsbury stab, then the NYR re-sign Henrik for 7 years (avg. $8.5 m/yr), proving no one expects him to age – ever – or be beaten by the Caps in the playoffs.

Ugh, vampires.

Even hockey puns are making me laugh today:

That’s how you know that everything is working – mostly.  Those things that aren’t, well, there might be just enough time left for them to get better.

Perhaps in time for a February 6 game vs Toronto? [report]

Is he flexing his abs? That can’t be all the time.

In case you’re not hip to the Instagram, it is an online photo/video-sharing & social networking services that lets users take photos, apply a digital filter, upload them, and share them with the world.

There are well over 30 million accounts on Instagram, and while the majority of them seem to be teenage girls taking countless selfies making the duck face or people taking photos of their food (of which I am guilty), there are a few accounts that truly capture our attention – the NHL hockey player.

Their accounts aren’t run by some publicist or PR team.

It isn’t some slick marketing tool.

It’s just regular dudes, being silly and taking photos of their lives.

Instagram is foxy because it gives us, as fans, a snapshot into who these players are off the ice.

Instagram is foxy because it endears these super human athletes to us more.

Instragram is also foxy because it provides endless entertainment, in pictographic form.

Here are a few of our faves –

b_ryan9 – Bobby Ryan.  Lots of photos of adorable cats.

hank30nyr – Henrik Lundqvist. No explanation needed.

EMALKIN71_  – Geno Malkin.  Lots of photos of him being Russian and hilarious.

No52 – Mike Green.  All things hipster.

colbycohen36 – Colby Cohen.  A boy and his golden retriever.

bollig87 – Brandon Bollig. Beards. Babies.  Chicago.

jlupul – Joffrey Lupul.  Many photos of him looking exceptionally attractive. But sadly none from the Body Issue.

DD2527 – Dustin Penner. I love him so hard. So incredibly hard. Can’t we just date already?

harryz87 – Harry Zolnierczyk.  This photo alone is worth the follow.

tseguin92 – Tyler Seguin.  Recently reactivated.  Nearly not enough photos of Marshall.

It’s said that 58 photos and a new user is gained every second on Instagram.  So where are you, NHLers?

Time to get on your photo on!

So WUYS, what your favorite NHL instagram account?  Share it with us in the comments section!

Also foxy – the same hockey players with puppies.

Seriously.

I double dog dare you to find anything foxier. (Don’t even try.  Because you won’t.)

This week’s Foxy Friday is dedicated to those furry and fabulous canine companions of our most popular Foxy Friday honorees…and a few that were just to adorable not to mention.

Teemu Dog

Landeskog Dog

Sharp Dog

Crosby Dog

Keith Dog

Campbell Dog

Letang Dog

Tazer Dog.
(Come on, Jonathan.  It’s an adorable puppy. Why so serious?) 

Eberle Dog.

Neal Dog.

Lundqvist Dog.
(also, can we talk about those hips? King Henrik’s, not the dog’s)

SEGGY PUPPY!!!!

And the mutha of all…

Nash Dog!

Here are few that we just had to include.

Warning: Squeeee factor on these is about eleventy billion.

Nuge Dogs.

Colby Cohen Dog.

Parros and a very big puppy.

NHL Awards in Las Vegas!

Bring on the attractive hockey players in impeccably fitted suits.  Bring on the awkward (and hilarious) red carpet interviews.   Bring on the D-list celebrities who can’t pronounce the winner’s name (Martin St. Lewis!).

Here’s who we think is going to bring on the hardware…

Hart (Lundqvist/Malkin/Stamkos)

Should: Chuck says Lundqvist. Pants says Malkin.
Will: Chuck says Lundqvist. Pants says Malkin.

Split decision on this one. King Henrik kept the Rangers at first in the East pretty much all season – without so much as a hair out of place. But the day there is no room for Comeback Crosby on the Pens’ first line is the day Malkin deserves the Hart.

Vezina: (Lundqvist/Rinne/Quick)

Should: Quick
Will: Quick

A league-high 10 shutouts saved the Kings’ 29th ranked offense. Plus, he’s already got the Conn Smythe Trophy and a Stanley Cup, so what’s one more?

*harumph* *crosses arms*

Norris (Chara/Karlsson/Weber)

Should: Chara
Will: Chara

We’re going to have the give this one to Chara. Because you won’t like him when he’s angry. CHARA SMASH!

Calder (Henrique/Landeskog/Nugent-Hopkins)

Should: Landeskog
Will: Nugent-Hopkins

No doubt The Nuge was the more electric rookie this season, but we’re big fans of Gabe the Babe. The potential for Landeskoging tips the scales here.

Lady Byng (Brian Campbell/Eberle/Moulson)

Should: Campbell
Will: Campbell

No defenseman has won in over fifty years – it’s time!  Campbell’s 6 PIM in 82 games would be enough – but he also doubled last season’s production, notching 53 points from the blue line.

Selke (Backes/Bergeron/Datsyuk)

Should: Bergeron
Will: Bergeron

His season was full of Selke-worthy numbers and stats (like winning 53% of faceoffs when shorthanded) so we’re rooting for the highly-underrated Bergeron to be the first Bruin to take home the trophy since 1982.

Adams (Hitchcock/MacLean/Tortorella)

Should: Hitchcock
Will: Hitchcock

In November, the Blues were not good. Enter Ken Hitchcock. They got good. Although their playoff run ended early, Hitchcock managed to change the culture of the Blues and help position the franchise as a team to be watched.

Masterton (Alfredsson/Lupul/Pacioretty)

Should: Lupul
Will: Alfredsson

We admire Alfredsson’s seniority and dedication to the Sens, but Lupul’s comeback from a spinal cord contusion and life-threatening blood infection only to be dropped by the Ducks then put up career best numbers in struggling Toronto?  Our hero.

Lindsay — Player MVP (Lundqvist/Malkin/Stamkos)

Should: Malkin
Will: Malkin

Malkin does it all – including make his teammates better players. Everybody wants to be on that line.

GM of the Year: (Doug Armstrong/David Poile/Dale Tallon)

Should: Dale Tallon
Will: Dale Tallon

Extreme Makeover: Hockey Edition. Tallon brought in seven of Florida’s top eleven scorers. They landed their first playoff appearance in 12 years and first ever division title with money leftover to buy more rats.

 But when I went to consult my bookie, I mean my oracle- the great swami Osiris Jones, man about town and counselor at law, when he’s not picking NHL play-off games for cat treats, much to my horror this is what I found!

Whut can I saz, I heart king henry

When I told him there’d be no more treats for this treacherous betrayal –

But i'm no foo eder

His brothers are much smarter and helped with the sign making for tomorrows big trek across the border. With Doughty getting so much ice time I am sure to get my money’s worth so look for this sign in the sea of blue and green: 

yes mom, I am 12 years old ...and I can make a sign like one too!

I’m hoping to get some exclusive shots for the blog if Mr. Gates doesn’t make me stay after school for extra credit. I am also hoping for another game like last night!

Wow - for me? Awesome .... A hatrick for you then!

Swami Jones has spoken ... and it shall come to pass that these two hot horses will play each other in the finals ...

or this: 

Pst ...I hear Dawn's picked us for the finals ...
*****************************************************
Of course she did, I'm reliable and I always come through even though she's saying it's her 'cat' and she hates Pittsburgh

We’ve done lost our minds.

Commit us to the looney bin.  Get us some stylish straight jackets and lock us in that padded room with Justin Timberlake and his weird blond curly ‘fro.

Why you ask?

Well, first of all, three of the last six Foxy Friday have been New York Rangers.  Three!

What is wrong with us? We’re not supposed to like the Rangers. But we just can’t help ourselves.  There is a disproportional amount of foxy on that team.

Secondly, and the most eggregious violation of them all is out of those three, NONE of those have been Henrik Lundqvist.

5-minute major to us. We go to the box. We feel shame.

We’re sorry, Henrik.  Really, we are.  We still love you.  Can you forgive us?  Remember that time that I made you smile?  You know the one….

Oh, all right. I guess so.

Seriously, we’re super sorry.  Just chalk it up to us talking about you all the time anyway that I just assumed that we’d already honored you and your glorious face/hair/smile/dimples/talent/suits.

So make it up hunka hunka burnin’ Hank and show him how much we care, I’m going to make this an extra special Foxy Friday.

We all know the reasons that HL30 is foxy – awesome hockey player, pretty good guitar player, Swedish, lover of lingonberriers, etc etc – but seriously…just look at him.

Go ahead.

We’ll wait….

Doesn’t he just make you feel so fluffy and happy?

*sigh*

Look at him. How is that even fair?

Real men wear purple.

Swedish James Bond

His other job - wearing a suit. Like a boss.

I'm totally moving to Sweden.

And to sum it all up…

Yes.

Happy Foxy Friday everyone!  

Or as they say in Sweden – Lycklig Foxy Fredag!

Mr. Pants: “What are you so happy about?”

Obviously he doesn’t share my pain in missing a week of hockey and the ASG Draft, or as we prefer to think of it, The WUYS Bachelor Auction.  I’m sure it was great.  And I saw they put Letang in the front row because even he can only get away with tripping once.

The Elimination Shootout started as we reached cruising altitude.  Stamkos stepped up… and the pilot came on the PA talking about miles programs and tail winds and how, if you looked out the right side, you could see a chicken in Mississippi riding a bicycle.  He talked the ENTIRE TIME!   We almost had an incident with Homeland Security.  Plus the seatbelt sign was on forever and I really had to pee.

During the post-win interview, I lost it and said, “Stop touching him, Pierre!” really loud.  Unless Pierre has scissors, though it doesn’t look like he’d know how to cut hair.

Hands off the merchandise, Troll.

Also, it’s not easy to watch Nealmobile do Accuracy Shooting when it’s illegal for me to scream, run around or throw things.  As I watch back through the coverage, the ASG never fails to be a highlight of the season.  It brainwashes me into a maniac who thinks things like:

Red heads in pink shirts?  Sure, why not!  Too bad no one could straighten it out before shooting.  Unless Giroux’s going to tear it off, it shouldn’t be stretched like that.  My inner publicist cringes.  (Note: That plaid jacket still needs to go. Along with Neal’s. Were they on sale in Ontario at some point?)

Carey Price is funny.  And charming.  I didn’t think this could get worse.

Scott Hartnell + the Sedins = my nightmare.  Except it’s fantastic.

And some things’s don’t surprise.  Henrik Lundqvist puts everyone to shame, in every category.

If you didn’t think Patrick Kane would steal the show then you must be new around here.

My tights are underneath.

As always, the awkward prom photos.  Everyone is cringing about talking to fathers and having to

See you at the prom party, Segs.

Logan can pick us up in his new car.

 What did you guys think?  No Crosby, Toews, Green, Backstrom, zero Staals.  Still everything you hoped for?  And share your favorite bits, because I probably missed them!

At 8pm tonight, fifty of the best hockey players in the world (38 NHL All-Stars and 12 top rookies) will be up for selection in the Player Fantasy Draft.  All-stars and rookies will be divided into two teams  – Team Alfredsson (aka Team Pants), led by captain Daniel Alfredsson and assistant captain Henrik Lundqvist, and Team Chara (aka Team Chuck), led by captain Zdeno “Z-Big” Chara and assistant captain Joffrey Lupul.

Quick refresher on how the Fantasy Draft works…

• A coin toss will decide first pick, with Alfredsson and Chara, joined by their assistant captains, alternately drafting the All-Stars through 19 rounds
• Each team will consist of three goaltenders, six defensemen and 12 forwards
• Each team’s three goalies must be picked by the end of Round 10
• Each team’s six defensemen must be picked by the conclusion of Round 15
• The 12 Rookies will be divided by the National Hockey League into two groups of six.  At the completion of the 15th round of the draft, one NHL Rookie will be selected to choose which All-Star team his group will join for the skills competition
• As a reward (consolation?), the final player selected in the draft will have $20,000 donated to the grassroots hockey program of his choice

So who’s up for grabs?

After he was selected as a captain, Chara did mention that he was going to take this draft very seriously and do as much research as possible, so it will be interesting to see what his strategy will be.  Think he hit up Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli for some pointers?

Will he take his teammate & Vezina winning goaltender Tim Thomas with the first pick?  Or will the events of this week and the recent revelation that Thomas does not have many friends amoungst his teammates sway Chara’s decision?

Now I’m no prognosticator, but I can tell you what you will see tonight.

• Ridiculous amounts of awkwardness.
• The Sedins  on different teams.
• Kris Letang’s hair looking awesome.
• James Neal’s hair looking like a porcupine.
• Scott Hartnell’s hair looking like a hot mess cavewoman hooker.
• Tight bums.
• Patrick Kane calling Toews to tell him he misses him.
• Awkward interview with last two players remaining.

One thing you won’t see…

And I for one, am gonna miss this.

Derp.

Other teams that may have asked Brad to dance were Toronto, Calgary, LA, Tampa Bay and Philly.  How the Flyers have any money left after playing Supermarket Sweep yesterday is amazing.  And Tampa Bay, let’s focus on the chicken here: Give us our Stamkos immediately and no one gets hurt.

Richards, who has a confirmed case of Crazy Eyes à la How I Met Your Mother, is a nifty skater with a wicked shot and should rack up plenty of points in the absence of struggling forwards like Chris Drury.  Plus he can share hair product with King Henrick and hey… we’d want to play alongside MStaaaaaal and Mike Rupp too.

Style icons: Vinny, Henrik

I always want to call him “Brichards,” all one word, which my brain turns into “It’s Britney, bitch.”  So we’re gonna call him Britney from now on.  He can be one of her “city boys from New York.”  He’ll be 40 when this contract expires, and promptly put out to pasture with the Red Hat Society Wings.

And thus ends every FA deal we care about, with the exception of Stammergeddon.  But we’re not worried.  The Lightning will give him a blank check and our Life Plan will remain unchanged.  My birthday will be awesome.  Now, when do tickets go on sale?

Perhaps Jon’s growing a beard until his team (St. Louis) gets back into the playoffs.  Maybe he just wants to go as this guy for Halloween:

Summer is long and we may take a few liberties with Foxy Friday, but Jon Hamm makes sense.  He’s a lifelong hockey fan and if we were in charge, we’d use him more often.  Commercials, voice-overs, intermission kissing booths.

You get the idea. 

– Skype video call to determine exact shade of black to wear.

– Meet early for hairstyling.

– Courtside seats for maximum white tooth exposure.

– Biebs allowed to choose own snacks.  Now getting lesson on why pretty guys should never eat hot dogs in public.

– Biebs to buy largest watch available tomorrow morning.

– Biebs’ next video to take place on Lundqvist’s NYC party bus.

Metro West Underwater Hockey
Underwater hockey is a very fast-moving game that provides great exercise and quickly builds swimming capability. It is played on the bottom of a swimming pool and players wear fins, mask, snorkel, and a protective glove and headgear. The stick is short, approximately 1 foot long, the puck is heavy, around 3 lb., and the goal is 3 meters (9′) long. The rules are “non-contact” and players generally cover “zones” around the puck. Success (scoring) ultimately depends on teamwork. Since the sport is played in the water, individual strength is less of an advantage than it is in many other sports. This makes the sport open and fun to anyone from complete rookies to long-time players who interested in a great workout.

Obstruction Swimming. 2 Minutes.You feel shame.

Look, I’m all for fun, seemingly useless sports that you can play whilst buzzing off a bottle of Boone’s or a few vodka cranberries.  [Pretty sure Pants is too.  We did play broomball after all. We’ll save the deets about our 2-dozen donut fine for a later post.]

I LOVE to swim and I love hockey, but this is just stupid.  The only water sports I want to be involved in are these..

Scottie Upshall

Kris Letang

Hottie Henrik

Flippers + Smirnoff = Fun

Marty B.

So Fresh. So Clean.

Zach Parise is so cute.

The rest of the NHL Media Tour crew was there, including Malkin, Toews, Kaner and my second-favorite Staal, Eric.  We bet Kane’s the only one who had any fun, hopefully joyriding around NYC in Lundqvist’s special edition bus.  After Ovie ditched me and Mike Green (apparently not on the guest list), he graced the party with his presence.  In a t-shirt.

Sid and Ovie did a photo shoot for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair.  If you listen closely, you’ll hear a lot of screaming between Seattle (Dawn) and San Francisco (Pants).  There’s plenty of video and photo content of yesterday’s media tour at NHL.com, including Dion Phanuef talking about what makeup he likes to wear and EStaal talking about his butt.  Quality.

Before the party, Dawn and I let Mike Green and Ovie take us to a Russian restaurant.  Except they sat next to each other, so maybe we should be worried?  Dawn took this photo with her decoder ring camera, so as not to appear all fangirl in the moment, then ran to the bathroom and totally spazzed out.  Ovie had 11 shots of vodka and asked to borrow Mike’s Lamborghini.  I pretended to know what borscht was and tried not to think about Mike’s bathroom.  I’m pretty sure Mike was thinking about Mike.  As usual.

I would only eat borscht for Mike Green.

(Photo from @washcaps, which I think must be run by a girl because it’s pretty awesome.)