This man makes the greatest faces.  He’s like Jonathan Toews in 20 years.

so, you wanna go to turkey with me for summer ... no?

If only this article would have come out BEFORE the Capitals played Tampa Bay then maybe they would have stood a chance! But NO! On the other hand, do hockey fans really read Sports Illustrated? Because they hardly EVERY cover anything on hockey. It would have been the best kept secret, like it still is. (visit)

Ok and don’t laugh, OK – laugh  because the title says, “A former NHL Coach cracks the 1-3-1 code” and guess who the ‘former’ NHL coach is … No, I’m not telling. You’ll have to go there yourself. It’s just too awesome to spoil. Or perhaps you don’t care.

Either way, if I didn’t love the Capitals so much, I would have picked Tampa Bay to beat them because in hindsight, they didn’t have a prayer. With a newly revamped ‘defensive’ team, there was no-way in hell they stood a chance against Guy Boucher’s brilliant 1-3-1 mastermind. And yes, he made it up. He’s my new favoritest human-master-of-the-universe. And while Steve Yzerman deserves the credit for hiring said mastermind, I’m thinking Tampa Bay may only be just getting started.

I can't help but fall for you ...

I strongly dislike to be wrong. I strongly dislike to dislike teams with players and coaches who might soundly beat my favorite players and teams. I strongly dislike to like really smart, weirdly hot, strange but hot, wickedly smart coaches with hot, small players and young, weirdly blonde possibly hot really good but too good for their own good players who compete too well against my own favorite players.

i'm not naming names

So to sum it all up: Boston, don’t read the last week’s SI. I’m trying really hard to not like Tampa Bay and Guy Boucher but I’ve always been drawn to the dark side. And lightening just may strike more than once, twice, three times. I feel a dynasty coming on … and it’s not in Washington I fear.

Now that you won’t be able to get this song out of your head, it’s the battle of the Super Twins, Count Von Count-anyone-can-do-this-job VS. Jumbo Scrimp (Oxy-Maroon), I’m-still -Cryin’ Patty Mar-where’s-the-loo and Logan Haute-Couture. Who will win the West-Coast Battle for the Cup? I called Vancouver in the Wayback Machine.

capt vs capt (i think it's henrik - who knows for sure!)

On the East Coast we got the Not-so-Jolly-Yellow-Giant Chara, Sir Thomas-the-Tank-Engine and i-blow-pucks-out-my-ass-for-goals-bergeron VS stampeding Stammers, Little-Man Louis and Bat-shit-crazy-face-sort-of-hot-in-a-weird-way-guy-the-butcher. I called neither of these and would have never dreamed of either of these but in reverse psychology and covering my bases. I’m going with Tampa Bay and if they win, I’ll be glad and say I called it. If they lose, I’ll say I helped Boston because every team I pick, loses! So either way, I’m covered! Sound practice!

Fast forward to 6 minutes and 28 seconds to get the actual point when the brooms multiply if you’re not familiar with this classic. Or watch the whole damn thing. It actually includes lightning which is quite fitting.

And then the Capitals Meet Tampa Bay:

And then the saddest death:

In memoriam – the Washington Capitals Season 2010-2011.

And there is this but I can’t show the video so you have to go to the link but it’s precious.

I could go on and on with these. But enough. I’m going to spend one day stuffing my face at Cup Cake Royal and downing a case of Mexi-cokes and then take my own advice and pick a new friend. Besides, I wonder what the lovely Kris Letang has been up to lately. Shirtless I hope!

It’s good to be Tampa Bay! Evidently this 1-3-1 defense is flummoxing everyone and I don’t really understand why the Penguins or the Caps are having a problem with it NOW. Hasn’t Tampa had it ALL SEASON? Is it a surprise NOW? Do they need a special decoder ring because I’m pretty sure Pierre Maguire will share his! OK, maybe not but if you promise to make a play date with him, he just might.

damn you stamkos for your talent and cuteness - just stop it! NOW!

It sent the gorgeous Letang on an early vacation and it’s looking like Ovi is going to be doing the Turkish chicken dance in his speedo sooner rather than later without putting a ring on it AGAIN! And honestly, Washington’s Defense has been like Where’s Waldo? I said last week you need defense to win. But you need it for all three periods.

Whadda mean we can't play defense from here? we's suppose to be out thar?

I don’t mean to be Debbie Downer but I’m also a realist. I hope the Capitals can pull four wins out of their asses and I would totes love that. But Tampa has played well and I can give credit where credit is due. Squishy, Stamkos, Lecavalier along with Old Man Roloson have been troopers, plus having a bat-shit crazy coach probably helps! So tomorrow I may be posting photos of Ovi’s chicken dance in Turkey prepping you all for what’s to come for the next six months.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!