We bid Round 1 farewell with this announcement: I am no longer 100% right. Thanks for nothing, Avs and Sharks!

Current predictions score: Pants – 6 of 8, Chuck – 4 of 8

Rangers do one thing for me, beat Flyers in series: 4-3

When the Flyers are knocked out of the playoffs, regardless of year, other teams or life in general, I have a moment of bliss.

Bubbz always.

The Rangers came out strong in GM7, then got back on their heels while the Flyers surged late.  Sound like any other hockey teams I know?!  King Henrik was the difference maker yet again.  New York will get one day of rest and of my gratitude, then it’s back to work and hating them Friday night in Pittsburgh.

Admiring his own face on the Jumbotron.

In other breaking news: Rick Nash has no playoff goals. This is apparently the only Rangers storyline available so tell your friends. It will be broadcast continually on sister station Radio Crosby.

For the record, I do hate the Rangers more than the Flyers.

God, that is a thin line.

But I’d rather the Pens play the Rangers in R2. The Flyers bring out the Pens’ most infuriating problem – composure – while playing Pittsburgh seems to ignite Philly’s tenacity.  The Rangers are no easier opponent but at least it will (hopefully) be the Penguins playing, not Hurricane Neal and the Tantrums. Watch me hate this decision later.

Tomorrow, tomorrow.

There’s only one reason for us to miss the Flyers in May.  Give it a moment, then move on.

Maybe he’ll grow a summer beard.

Wild take it to OT, take series from Avs: 4-3

Game 7 overtime?  Someone hold my hair back.  The Wild got there with a goal at the 17:33 mark of the third, and it only took 5 minutes of OT to put the Avs away.   Nino Niederreiter, who sounds like an imaginary friend at a tea party, had two goals including the OT winner.  Listen to the clang off the backbar.

Yowza.  This is the first time the Wild have gotten past R1 in 10 years.  The Wild have this headline and I confess I laughed (just once):

I hear a rimshot.

We’ll miss the Avs kids who were having a blast out there, but MacKinnon, Gabe and the boys have many years of playoff hockey ahead of them.  Gabe’s beard though… bummer.

Sad first, then shower and selfie.

Kings win 4 in a row, collapse Sharks series: 4-3

Sharks gonna shark.  There are so many bad jokes – Sharks get bitten! – but the worst of all is San Jose’s record of playoff choking.  That said, we should have all picked the Kings because they know how to win 4 in a row (and then some) in pursuit of post-season glory.  Plus their bandwagon fans are famous and sparkly, and the NHL could use a few entertainment column inches.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

You should hug Sharks fans today – that was eviscerating. Sweep? Sucks. Reverse sweep?

Come back with carbs.

Round 2 starts tonight, with the Bruins and Canadiens (and Chuck) asking everyone else what took so long.  Typical dates, we’re never ready when they come to pick us up!  This series is going to be like the holidays with family – everyone knows each other, hates each other and every old crime comes out in a stress-spolsion.

Save us a good seat, okay?

Elevator to Chuck’s party.

But this is NOT about the Winter Classic. This is about a SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT made during the Winter Classic. NBC announced HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA. Now, I don’t want to split hairs here or get all semantic in your jockstrap BUT there are several things wrong with this announcement.

NBC programming executive for HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA

Secondly, HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA would technically include Canada and Mexico (South America if I REALLY want to go there). Last time I checked Mexico didn’t have  hockey teams nor do they play hockey on a regular basis. I am not trying to be all PC but if you are stealing something, at least let’s not encompass EVERYTHING! It should be called HOCKEY DAY IN THE U.S.

NBC executives might want to reference this

The Coup-de Grassi in all of  this … not only are they stealing Hockey Day in Canada but they are putting Hockey Day in America against Canada’s Heritage Classic; THEIR version of the outdoor WINTER CLASSIC (which we stole). Wait for it …. ON VERSUS which NBC OWNS! What’s a hockey fan to do? And oh how rude to Canada …!

Holy Sparkly Flying Dancing Unicorn Out My Butt! Does NBC have no Shame? Don’t answer that. While I am normally the first to criticize Canada because I do not quite feel the same why about our neighbor to the north as Pants and Chuck, visiting as often as I do, this is simply unacceptable. It is poorly conceived and makes no sense. It’s bad for Hockey and not a good PR move for the NHL. Why not tie in WITH HOCKEY DAY IN CANADA … oh wait, THAT would make sense.

I can save HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA!