260 goals.  516 assists.  + 210.  615 PIM. 273 PPP.  2,446 SOG. 

Plus I got Lobster (LOBSTAH!), the Lousy Ventriloquist, Darth Quaider, the Professor, and the Tank.

This is gonna be fun.

When I named my team for Mike Green, that automatically meant I wouldn’t get him.  Happened last year with Getzlaf.  Good thing I didn’t name my team HOT DADS or I wouldn’t have gotten EStaal, Squishy, Ryan(e) Clow(e) or Cam Ward.

Pants is a good coach, and she babysits.

I won my fantasy league last year, thanks to a team build around EStaal.  I also had Clowe, Cam and Giordano – we’re just getting the band back together.  We mayneed a second bus for all our trophies: the Hart, Rocket Richard, Lady Byng and Letang’s solid-gold hair dryer.

I’d also like to nominate my team for Best Looking.  Just throwing it out there.  It won’t win us games, but it sure looks good in the handshake line.  Bet you can’t wait till it’s Team Photo day in the program!

Yes, there's a trophy for this too.

So, who wants Brodeur?

DRAFT DAY!

As much as we would LOVE to hold our very own Combine (Running! Jumping! Flexing!) and rent out an arena in which to hold said draft, we just can’t.  WUYS doesn’t actually make any money (yet).

So to help you create your ultimate fantasy hockey team, I put together a listing of my top 75 players fantasy players, based a number of statistical categories.

While I was tempted to take into consideration the statistics of  foxiness, awesome hockey hair, and hug-ability when compiling these rankings, I decided just to go with the good old-fashioned stats.

Pants wanted me to add a category for squatting ability and derpness…but I had to veto that.

I am the Commish, after all.  I have the power.

Before drafting your players keep in mind that our league is a “Head to Head – Points” league.  This means that teams are matched up weekly and each manager tries to accumulate the most points from each statistical category.  In our league, points will be earned as follows:

Forwards/Defencemen Stats

• Goals (G) = 3 pts
• Assists (A) = 2 pts
• Plus/Minus (+/-) = 1 pt
• Penalty Minutes (PIM) = 0.5 pt
• Powerplay Points (PPP) = 1 pt
• Shots on Goal (SOG) = 0.4 pt

Goaltending Stats

• Wins (W) = 4 pts
• Goals Against (GA) = -1 pt

Each team will consist of 2 centers, 2 right wings, 2 left wings, 4 defencemen, 2 goalies, and 4 bench players (from any position).

For those of you who are new to fantasy hockey, you can use the list below to help you decided which players you want to draft.  But you don’t have to.  You can pick whom ever you want.  Full list of all players available for the draft can be found at http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/1325/draftanalysis

The teams are set.

Bieksa’s Got Back.  Gator Goldfish.  Joey the Jr. Reporter.  Shut Your Five Hole.  Don’t Toews Me!.   I Laich It Hot.   El Coop.   I Like ‘Em Skinner.   Easy Being Greener.   Dave’s a KILLER!.

10 teams will enter…but only one will get Toews.

WUYS Fantasy Rankings

1. Steven Stamkos, C
2. Alex Ovechkin, LW
3. Daniel Sedin, LW
4. Henrik Sedin, C
5. Corey Perry, RW
6. Henrik Lundqvist, G
7. Martin St. Louis, RW
8. Roberto Luongo, G
9. Nicklas Backstrom, C
10. Bobby Ryan, LW
11. Pavel Datsyuk, LW
12. Anze Kopitar, C
13. Sidney Crosby, C
14. Evgeni Malkin, C
15. Jarome Iginla, RW
16. Pekka Rinne, G
17. Jonathan Toews, C
18. Tomas Vokoun, G
19. Brad Richards, C
20. Patrick Kane, RW
21. Tim Thomas, G
22. Ryan Miller, G
23. Ilya Bryzgalov, G
24. Shea Weber, D
25. Mike Green, D
26. Zdeno Chara, D
27. Zach Parise, LW
28. Henrik Zetterberg, LW
29. Antti Niemi, G
30. Ryan Kesler, C
31. Iyla Kovalchuk, LW, RW
32. Jeff Carter, C, RW
33. Eric Staal, C
34. Ryan Getzlaf, C
35. Carey Price, G
36. Drew Doughty, D
37. Patrick Marleau, LW
38. Rick Nash, LW, RW
39. Marc-Andre Fleury, G
40. Dustin Byfuglien, D
41. Alexander Semin, RW
42. Corey Crawford, G
43. Joe Thornton, C
44. Keith Yandle, D
45. Lubomir Visnovsky, D
46. Jonathan Quick, G
47. Mike Richards, C
48. Nicklas Lindstrom, D
49. Dan Boyle, D
50. Jimmy Howard, G
51. Claude Giroux, RW
52. Thomas Vanek, LW
53. Patrick Sharp, C
54. John Tavares, C
55. Mikka Kuprusoff, G
56. Duncan Keith, D
57. Danny Briere, C, RW
58. Dany Heatley, RW
59. Matt Duchene, C
60. Kris Letang, D
61. David Krejci, C
62. Milan Lucic, LW
63. Jeff Skinner, C
64. Christian Ehrhoff
65. David Backes, RW
66. Loui Eriksson, RW
67. Martin Havlat, RW
68. Marian Gaborik, RW
69. Vincent Lacavalier, C
70. Brent Burns, D
71. Ryane Clowe, LW
72. Joe Pavelski, C
73. Cam Ward, G
74. Johan Franzen, RW
75. Marian Hossa, RW

Sadly I don't actually have Getzlaf on my team.

I’d like to thank Dustin Byfuglien, Patrick Sharp, Corey Perry and Eric Staal for killing it.  I’m only 11 points behind Kimmy and we are gunning for it.  Mr. Pants likes to assistant manage my team by picking guys who sound really foreign or from teams he’s never heard of (Florida, Columbus).  I click the buttons then undo it when he leaves.  Click photo to read:

Team Pants

Christian Erhoff is my only weak-ish link – he has missed a few games recently but he’s back in the lineup.  Still, his double-digit points tally looks dingy next to his bright and shiny teammates.  Does anyone have sleeper suggestions to beef up my defensive corps?

– Islanders and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hockey Season: Over before it begins?  The Isles haven’t won a playoff series since 1992 (when Crosby was 4 years old) and recently got very excited about Official Team Cupcakes.  Yes really.  So you could argue that news of top defensemen Mark Streit and Kyle Okposo both out for months doesn’t really matter.  But we at WUYS care because Rick DiPietro is our BU pal and we hate to see him confined to the Blair Witch house basement Nassau Coliseum.  Since Streit and Okposo have injuries to opposing shoulders, we suggest they find a Hamptons plastic surgeon to combine their working parts into a single defenseman, so at least someone shows up every night to stand in front of Ricky.

Tastes like sadness.

– Kovalchuk Scores a Goal: And the Devils win 3-2 over Philly.  $100 million (+$3 million fine) looking well spent?

– Brian Gionta is named captain of the Canadiens: Giving us all plenty of rude things to yell at the TV.  Will he do well?  The eighth-seeded Habs downed Washington and Pittsburgh in a pretty epic playoff run last year, so Gionta has both pressure and momentum coming into this season.  Still, at 5′ 7″ tall (measured by the Tom Cruise tape) both Chuck and I could put BG in our pockets.  I’d like to see him tell Hal Gill what to do.

– I’m with the DJ: You can’t afford Winter Classic tickets, even if there were tickets to buy.  You can enter for the chance to win the right to pay $300 a ticket, or buy the Penguins Ultimate Fan Package – tix to the Classic and the first home game at Consol Energy Center for $1500.  Let me tell you what $1500 would have to include… okay, I won’t.  I don’t need to.

I like to be in America...

In totally unimportant news, I got one Sedin and one Staal on my fantasy hockey team, As Good as it Getzlaf (I did not get Ryan Getzlaf).  I’ll spend all season trying to remember which ones.  I had to drop Marc Savard (he hit his head and wants to spend more time with Chuck, not necessarily in that order), but I did get myself Alex Tanguay out of sheer faith.  Luongo and Lundqvist in goal… I’m looking pretty good, I think.  Anyone else playing?