#sorryhesnotsorry

This year I donated on the promise that Mr. Pants would spare us all from his attempt. [Donate here]  Ever the joiners, some of our favorite hockey players could not be persuaded by the same argument.

Does this mustache make my jersey look 80s?

The Sidstache continues its bi-annual tradition of failing to ruin Crosby’s face.

Twitter is our confessional.

For a guy I’m willing to guarantee has never seen an adult film, John Tavares’ mustache is alarmingly licentious.  Give it a week to darken and a glass of scotch, it’ll be straight off Paul Rudd’s face in Anchorman.

Sex Panther (Yes, I really typed that.)

Like our favorite season – playoff beards – Movember is a time when any hockey player can shine.  The enthusiasm is fueled by charity, rivalry and selfies taken up one’s own nose.

crashzoom

Winnik’s mustache is pretty spectacular, but Komarov is no slouch.  Did we say get these mustaches off?  Rescind.  Let these babies grow.

It’s so heavy, he can’t stand up.

Chuck wanted to hire Eddie Lack as our new intern, then Intern Jeff Skinner saw his Movember face and sighed with relief.  This does not work for free.

Time for a trim, Eddie.

She’d have had better luck with Montreal’s Brendan Gallagher, who could get a dollar for every hair in this mustache and still need to borrow five bucks for lunch.

Soul patches may result in disqualification

But it’s not the result that count. It’s the effort and collective knowledge that no one, in any year, can ever really win Movember.  Because let’s face it, not even 2014 Beard of the Year and Stanley Cup winner Jeff Carter can really rock a mustache.  He’s just standing in this hallway, waiting for D’Artagnan to arrive for their duel.

Also resembling this guy from Justified.

Who’s rocking your favorite facial hair this month?  With two weeks to go, who else will finish strong?