No question that’s a dirty play.  Daniel Sedin struggled back to the bench, played one more shift then went to the dressing room [link].  Keith got an elbowing minor and now everyone fully expects him to be suspended.

Shane Doan just got Shanabanned 3 games for elbowing Jamie Benn [link].  Mike Green served 3 games.  But this looks more like Rene Bourque’s hit on Nicklas Backstrom (grrrrrrrrr) that earned a 5-game suspension.  Both Borque and Doan are repeat offenders – this would be Keith’s first suspension.  (Green’s previous suspension was more than 18 months ago, so not classified as a repeat offender – link.)

The NHL has not yet announced a hearing, but with four days till the Hawks play again there is no rush.  Sedin will be re-evaluated today in Vancouver and any sustained injury considered in the case against Keith.  Henrik Sedin spoke after the game, saying Keith “did what he wanted to do” [link].

The Canucks are comfortably atop their Division and could still catch St. Louis for 1st in the West and the President’s Trophy [standings].  That dream takes a dive if they lose Sedin – their only 30-goal scorer on the year.  They play tomorrow night at Dallas.

Doan and Keith have both been publicly contrite about their hits [link], but who cares?  Time to start thinking before you get your elbows up, boys.  If you can’t do it for safety at least do it for your teams down the stretch.  But really, do it for safety.

Daniel gave me this new suckie on the first day of training!

Mike Duco formerly of the Florida Panthers got traded to Vancouver. If you were him – you’d think JACK POT – right? Going from a basement dwelling team – well – before they spent a boat load of cash and made some mad trades – to an almost Stanley Cup winning team. Not a bad place to be traded too – right?

Now consider that fact that you may have tweeted some of the following things during the play-offs:

Can't send a 'please ignore' out after that one!

He also posted one that said, “HA … solid night Luongo.”

So it’s your first day at training camp with all your new friends. What’s a boy to do? I bet he didn’t write the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” But I would guess he needs a copy of that stat because Luongo wasn’t too kind to Kesler after the Olympics but he did forgive him. He kind of had too. Kesler is way too hot not too.

It may not be charm, but it might work!

But Duco? Let’s hope he has charm coming out his ass. He’ll need it. Good luck buddy on your first day. I hear the Sedin’s have a wicked sense of humor.

Anyway, to even things out here since it’s been all Boston and Bears, I give you the best cartoon EVER that doesn’t involve Sidney Crosby. GO CANUCKS! BRING THAT CUP HOME TO CANADA! IT’S BEEN 18 LONG YEARS!

but then I can't post this photo of brad pitt and THAT would be a shame

Does this mean that everyone on the Canucks are really werewolves? I present the following evidence. They may be more Underworld and less Twilight but it doesn’t mean they aren’t anymore effective. Werewovles kick ass. And I love me some Lucian but not Luongo. I’ll still dance under the moonlight with van morrison and I’ll always be an american one in London.

manimal - did anyone know there was actually a show on tv called that?

Ok, so you can tell I've been watching the Underworld marathon on syfy.

this really pained me to make this but he's the only one that matched up. the things I do for you all.

It’s 2-0 kids. Werewolves, I mean Cancucks, which is probably secret code for werewolves shapeshifting into wonder-twins activating into Alexander Burrows making two amaza-balls goals after draining Bergereon of his hockey magic. Beware. They are tricksters.

also a master curler

Since Vancouver won, I’ll fess up to being the chick flashing Ben Eager just for shits and giggles – IN MY DREAMS. I don’t have a body like that. Maybe like, 15 years ago. My twins have gone a little south, let’s say. But that’s between Victoria and me and she’s doesn’t tell!

GIFSoup

But now that I am THIS CLOSE to a full on Tiger-blooded Egg-headed-Sedin-Machine-no-trolls-allowed – goddesses-only-Bieska-lent- Torres-Torres-Torres-Hamhuis-in-the-house-Burrows-it-the-net-Stanley-Cup-Parade-Next Door? HELL YA! I don’t think there is a hockey fan out there that would miss a Stanley Cup parade even if it wasn’t ‘their’ team.

oh man, of better days ... sunny and chance of kris letang

To see ‘the cup’ and the team that won it would be awesome. Mr. Cherrie and I have already planned our escape route and run across the border because people here just don’t understand the importance of what is happening.

no, pants, I did not draw this but it has three things i love - actually make that four!

We are both calling in with Hockey Flu – which I’m saying I caught from making out with Kris Letang! And yes, I am getting way ahead of myself. But a girl can dream. I’m just so close.

the cup, kris letang, ovi, double d, bubbles in 7-up ... the beach, um .. purr fect!

the food chain prevails ... nom nom nom ...

Bieksa the Berserker was the only one who knew where the biscuit was on the ice … with a freaky deaky goal in double OT and down go the Sharks. It’s 17 years to the day that Vancouver claims the Western Conference title in a double OT as well and will face either Boston or Tampa Bay for Lord Stanley’s Cup. I’d call it Freaky Friday but it’s Tuesday so go figure!

foxy friday alum ryan kesler - who was injured snapped this one by anti-nemesis for a biscuit

But riddle me this? I get that Vancouver was excited about this, but good gravy  why would you drop confetti on the ice before the presentation and then have your players out there skating around? Are you TRYING to trip them? Kesler was already injured and Luongo has a hard enough time stopping the puck as it is, he doesn’t need a greater handicap!

this is the only dance move i know, the robot, get it, sedin-the-machine, the robot, oh, if I have to explain it's not a joke.

So since I picked them for the Western Conference winner winner chicken dinner back in September, here’s a little ra-ra for your cha-cha Sedin-machines and Foxy Ryan Kesler and Bieksa-Lenta:

Now that you won’t be able to get this song out of your head, it’s the battle of the Super Twins, Count Von Count-anyone-can-do-this-job VS. Jumbo Scrimp (Oxy-Maroon), I’m-still -Cryin’ Patty Mar-where’s-the-loo and Logan Haute-Couture. Who will win the West-Coast Battle for the Cup? I called Vancouver in the Wayback Machine.

capt vs capt (i think it's henrik - who knows for sure!)

On the East Coast we got the Not-so-Jolly-Yellow-Giant Chara, Sir Thomas-the-Tank-Engine and i-blow-pucks-out-my-ass-for-goals-bergeron VS stampeding Stammers, Little-Man Louis and Bat-shit-crazy-face-sort-of-hot-in-a-weird-way-guy-the-butcher. I called neither of these and would have never dreamed of either of these but in reverse psychology and covering my bases. I’m going with Tampa Bay and if they win, I’ll be glad and say I called it. If they lose, I’ll say I helped Boston because every team I pick, loses! So either way, I’m covered! Sound practice!

I feel your pain.

I really do. I was there last year. My caps went out in the first round. This was me last year. But I lived through it. And you will too.

I'm serious. Wipe the F*** chocolate off your face and get up! YES - YOU!

You are better than this and your men need you. Maybe not your team but there are others out there in the trenches fighting, that need adopting temporarily at least until the end of the season. And this is YOUR SPORT. This is Hockey and a drought is coming – need I remind you? SUMMER … NO HOCKEY? At all? So pull yourself together, go back through the blog and pick a team, a man, SOMEONE, adopt-a-man, adopt-a-cause – put a stamp on it and make it YOURS and work it sister. Because come June, we are all going to look like the above so no getting a jump on things now!

Five reasons you should ADOPT-A MAN-CAUSE-ANYTHING-RIGHT-NOW-FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-HOCKEY:

1. What else do you have going on? I mean really? Seriously. Tell us. Because we would know. NOTHING. Huh. So? what are you waiting for? If you need suggestions. We have some.

2. There are some very ELIGIBLE men available for ADOPTION. Shea Weber. Mike Fisher. The Sedin Twins. No, I am not joking here. They have an awesome sense of humor and mad skills. Joe Thornton. Patrick Marleau. Oh god did I just write that? Tim Thomas. Henrik Zetterberg. Mike Modano. Brian Boucher. Milan Lucic. Andrej Meszaros. Martin St. Louis. Steven Stamkos. Mike Green. See, I’m not even asking you to support you-know- who because I know you will from the closet and that’s OK!

how could you not support this?

3. THERE IS NO CRYING IN HOCKEY. EVER. Except if you’re Sean Avery and really, do you want to join that club? Screaming, breaking things, punching objects and being sad pandas, OK. We except that.

we'll even give you a cyber-hug.

4. If you ‘accidentally run into’ and by ‘accidentally’ I mean ‘accidentally on purpose stalking them’ –  say, Kris Letang or MAX TALBOT or Jonathan Toews, do you really want a badunkadunk butt or muffin top (even though that’s the best part of the muffin!) from all the chocolate, bon bons and cupcakes you ate? Wouldn’t you want to be in your fabulous best shape EVER?!

well hello there, come here often? wanna see MY stanley cups?

5. IT’S HOCKEY. YOU LOVE IT. WE LOVE IT. IT’S NOT OVER – YET. YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER. WE BELIEVE.

So let's kiss, make up and move on!

And lastly, whether we all like it or not, as Sean Connery said in HIGHLANDER, “There can be only one.”

my what fancy wear and BTW - pants LOVES your hat!

boring but ok.

This is what you SHOULD be able to buy at shop NHL.COM if I ran the circus. Just sayin.

thank you, thank you very much.

And what better way to showcase them, than with the always fun Super Skills Competition.

So here are the results…

• Faster Skater – Michael Grabner (14.238 seconds)
• Breakaway – Alexander Ovechkin (38.5% of the fan votes).
• Accuracy – Daniel Sedin (4 for 4 in 7.3 seconds)
• Skills Challenge Relay – Team Lidstrom (2:09)
• Hardest Shot – Zdeno Chara, 105.9mph (4th consecutive win AND he beat his own record)
• Elimination Shoot-Out – Corey Perry

and some of our favorite moments…

• PK Subban stealing Jeff Skinner’s jersey

Oh look Jeff Skinner...heeeeeyyyyyyy wait a second...

• Jeff Skinner. The Justin Bieber of the NHL.  I wish he could be my prom date.

Definitely out WAY past his curfew

• Timmy Thomas vs. Cam Ward in the Fastest Skater.  In full equipment.
• Timmy’s wipe out behind the net. But he got right back up with the ever-present smile on his face.

• Toews’ Accuracy Mulligan and *derp* face through the whole competition

• Marc-Andre Fleury. The jumping jacks.  Stacking the pads on Ovechkin. The dancing.  Everything.  We love him.  As far as we are concerned, he won the entire Skills Competition.

and 1...and 2...and 3

• Finding out that Anze Kopitar speaks English.  And has no accent.
• Those wee tiny nets in the Skills Relay.  sotiny

What are those? Hockey nets for ANTS?

• The new-found love between Alex Ovechkin and Kris “Look at My Hair” Letang

Love is in the air...

• Zdeno Chara‘s slap shot.  Faster than a speeding bullet.

If I saw this, I would curl up into the fetal position and cry for my mother.

• Last but not least – Patrick Sharp, ASG 2011 MVP.

Looking better than any hockey player has a right to