James Neal being a shit.

Me not stopping till Neal owned up to his problem out loud.

Kunitz’s face.

Followed immediately by James trying not to laugh.

Jackass.  You can’t distract me with your shorts!  Do not make me regret this.

In my world, no one would ever say that leggings are not pants.  (Oh, those aren’t leggings?)

Tight hiphuggers, low fo’ sho.

Everyone would pack a healthy brown bag lunch.

There’s moisturizer in there too.

Nisky would get more camera time.

People would wear proper cold weather gear because they are Canadian and also duh.

We’d always look our best.

Glasses and plaid paints all the time.

You are not fooling anyone with this coy stuff, James Neal.

Everyone would have excellent posture and sit up straight.

They would never make fun of each other.

Or call people names.

Right, Kris?

Everyone would be happy to see us.

And we’d all sleep well at night.

Of course I’d have the whole thing filmed for TV too.   Marketing and management?  I’d hire me.

Aw shucks.

Then watch James Neal have a go at the end of this video.  Haha, that’s not fake.

Maybe we could get Nisky to give him a lesson.  (Why does it seem appropriate that a guy from Minnesota would know how to bowl?  Is it an American thing?)

At least Nealmobile remembered the jerseys were yellow and not compatible with, say, a blue button-down.

More photos here.

The Pens also held their children’s practice event… so much cute.  Here’s the video, and if you don’t love Sidney Crosby for the look he gives the kid at 0:40 then I surrender.  [More video: CBS Pittsburgh]

Capitals @ Penguins tonight at 8PM on NBC Sports Network:  It’s my favorite and least favorite match-up at the same time!

Huge thanks to @alisonsykora‘s mom Heidi, who took pictures of every page with her phone for us.  She likes James Neal the best because she’s a momgenius.

For safety, Sam overestimated the amount of room Sid needs to sit down.

Chuck Kobasew, come back to the lineup!

Matt D’Agostini’s in this year’s “Winter Look.”

Kunis and puppies and sweaters.

BSutts and Co. giving @alisonsykora the puppy eyes.

The closest to Raja that Aladdin could get.

These puppies match Geno’s outfit (and enthusiasm).

Joe Vitale and the tiniest little friend! Eeep!

Sassy and Neal. Yes, the dog is Sassy too.

Crosby is superstitious of black cats, so of course Duper has one.

Mario has one dog for each Stanley Cup.  He could handle more.

Hug it out, Rob Scuderi.

This is Nisky’s own dog. I’ll be over here, rolling around in my tears.

Get well soon, Beau. You’re too ridiculous to be without.

This scrappy little guy has Brooks’ eyes.

Disco Dogs

Also Flower’s own dogs.  And socks.

One last picture – a selfie:

It’s like his first day back at school, seeing that girl he had a crush on last year.

In actual hockey news (sigh of relief), it looks like James is going to play the un-point on the Pens power play to start the season.  He’ll be “roving” the ice near Letang’s regular station at the blue line.  [link]

Errr, okay.  As much as Neal & Letang next to each other could probably reverse the Earth’s magnetic poles, Nealer’s about the wrist shot.  It’s dazzling.  It’s accurate.  Seeing him just behind the faceoff circle, waiting for the drop pass… it makes me weak in the twine.

He’s not going to score a lot from the blue line.  The idea seems to be for James to play “everywhere” and feed the puck to Crosby and Malkin (or back to Letang).  It sounds like a dream strategy, unless the guy you’re taking the puck away from is the reigning NHL-leader in PPG (Neal had 18 last season).

Photo Credit: kdkitty127

Alas, this is a problem I want to have.  Embarrassment of riches!  Trust in Disco Dan!  (And pre-season optimism.)  With guys like Crosby and Malkin on the sides, let’s hope some middle lanes open and James gets the puck.  I don’t care who scores ’em.

Wait, I do.  I didn’t fantasy draft Sid or Geno, dammit.

I wish we could do a preview of every team for the upcoming season, but there is no time. Also I’ve forgotten where everyone was traded to or signed.  Saturday is going to be like Christmas morning, where I open every broadcast after guessing what’s inside and find a bonus Staal or Nash.

I could (and will) watch this all day.  The amount of awesome cannot be expressed.  Even Pierre is speechless.  I wish they’d kept his mic live so we could hear Laviolette screaming.  He and Granato were both ejected, but not before Lavi picked up a stick and smashed it.  Of course, it was Max Talbot’s stick.

“He broke my stick and I was pretty sad about that.  It was a good stick,” Max said (which is why I still love him).

Watch Giroux, he’s begging for someone to draw him off the bench.  That would have broken Pierre’s heart, because he spent the whole game fangirling over Claude.  It was like his old flame Sidney didn’t even exist.  How fickle, Pierre!  Near the end there’s a great shot of  James Neal screaming at Zac Rinaldo.  I was fanning myself with a magazine, I swear.

There were all kinds of reasons for this melee – Schenn cross-checking Crosby, Bylsma putting his 4th line out for the late shift, Vitale crushing Briere in open ice – but mostly it happened because these are the Penguins and the Flyers.  They love to hate each other.  They’ll do it again Saturday, and probably in the first round of the playoffs.

Can you imagine?  No one win too much, you have to play each other!  Too bad (for me) the Pens couldn’t get the win yesterday.  They’re still one point up on the Flyers and can maintain home ice advantage.  You can read more about the insults and challenges traded post-game here.

Here’s the Crosby post-game interview [link], or you could just…

Is this an ad for something? Or just for his thighs?

And for the Flyers fans, I couldn’t find a Gingeroux post-game so here he is being interviewed with his dad [link].  Or if you prefer…

Your future family.

James Neal out “weeks” with a broken foot.

Jordan Staal out 4-6 weeks with a knee injury.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

There are no words.  How can one team be so unlucky?  Is it me?  Should I just leave because of all the trouble I’ve caused?

Click for dramatic reenactment.

Bylsma discussed the injuries in this video [link] and talked about next steps for the Penguins.  What else can you do?  The Pens have played through some touch injury combinations over the past few seasons, but this one takes the cake.  I hope Geno’s arms are feeling really long.

Real time photo of Pants as Disco Dan was talking.

I’m trying to be hopeful.  Heck, I’m already crazy.  Crank up the “Don’t Stop Believing” and see where the season takes us.  4-6 weeks can sometimes be 2-3 weeks, and the rest of the Penguins squad is solid enough to pull of some miracles.  But today, if you need me, I’ll driving aimlessly in the Nealmobile in my Pens sweater and stopping at every drive-thru that sells ice cream.

(And because that’s not enough, in last night’s game vs. San Jose, Mike Green left halfway through because of returning “tightness” of his groin injury.  Hunter says they’re just being careful, letting him take it easy.  It wasn’t like they were going to win that shitslide anyway.  Hopefully he was brushing Nicky’s hair in the locker room and resting up.)

Personally, I’m going with SHANABANNED for this one.  Eggo does sort of leave his feet and he’s definitely above shoulder height.  Kruger’s head is down, but it goes down and stay down before Eggo lines him up. Engelland could  and should have avoided this hit.

Eggo was not penalized on the ice, so the Hawks’  John Scott put on his stripes and fought him.  And, well… according to HockeyFights.com, Scott is undefeated in 19 regular season NHL fights over 3+ years.  He did not disappoint.

Scott received a 2 min instigating minor, a fighting major and a 10 minute misconduct.  Engelland got 5 for taking a  beating.  On the resulting Penguins power play, Chris Kunitz scored his 12th goal of the season.  It was the first of Malkin’s three helpers on the night and what a beauty.

Kruger took a few shifts after the hit, and came back out for the second period but did not play.  He will be re-evaulated today.  If the Hawks a) let him stay on the ice and b) let him come back out, I don’t see they were very worried about it in real time.  Symptoms are not always immediate, of course.  But what about the quiet room and all that?  I say Kruger should have gone right away.  Not that it bears on the penalties or possible suspensions assessed, but I thought we were being more careful that this.

What do you think?  Disco Dan says “It was a full body check.” [link]  I bet Shanahan will lock him up for a game or two, but so far no word from the NHL on a visit to the Principal’s Office.

Udpate: Haven’t seen it officially from the Blackhawks, but Kruger is apparently concussed and out tonight:

"Skinner and Stamkos! (especially for @shan_apolis)"

What could top that, you ask?  @jfrancesw and the man himself.

Man of the Hour

I should definitely be at an open bar party with Jeff Skinner.  Can you hear me now, talking about intern interviews and Mexi-Colas?  I’ll wear a wire so you can all witness it.  Somehow @chialo managed not to faint when meeting Disco Dan.  I would be dead.

Classy coach is classy.

Then Jonathan Toews made an appearance at the party, just to make sure no one was left alive.  Thank you for sharing your pictures with us!  You look so composed, we are proud.  And insanely jealous and planning next year’s trip right now.  Meet us there?

HBO lists 24/7 Penguins/Capitals for DVD pre-sale.

Oh, and there’s some pretty good hockey on here too.  If you don’t count the part where the Pens lose the Winter Classic.  I blame 24/7 for a lot of what went on here this season… a LOT.