(To those of you lobbying for a Cam Talbot feature, you’ll have to wait until they are playing someone I hate in the post-season. I’m not about to let Foxy Friday accidentally help a Ranger right now.)

Not every team’s fate is sealed, but we’re being reasonable with Wild Card possibilities. This likely means someone will go 9-0 and ruin our lives. Forgoing teams that could still make it (Bruins, FlapAntlers), here’s a last look at the Eastern Conference foxes we’ll miss come April 12. Enjoy them while you can.

Philadelphia Flyers

I WON’T MISS YOU. I don’t care how ginger you are, how curly, how shirtlessly beer pong proficient. Two more games vs Pittsburgh will be plenty, thanks. I don’t think about you when you’re not here.

But if UFA MDZ signs elsewhere, I might be allowed to miss him a little.  We’ll have to see how this skate-gash-to-the-neck (warning: gross photo) heals, because we’re only pretending to believe his “I got bitten by a shark” story for one scar. And we’re still waiting for him to request our help in finding dates.

New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique’s cheekbones lead the team with 40 points this season, and he’s all smiles in this post-game interview from early March.  Maybe he could play baseball in the off-season, after this play.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Ryan “Shameless Charming Kid Prop” Johansen deserved  his own Foxy Friday after the All-Star Game. I mean, the Flying V? What else does a guy have to do? Blame Ekblad.  But someday, Ry – probably right around when you take this girl to the prom.

If you want to speed up the process, stop wearing hats. Because:

Carolina Hurricanes

After they beat the Pens 257-2 last night (close enough), I am not inclined to include the Hurricanes in this post. But Intern Jeff Skinner already volunteered to work all summer, since… well, you know. And I am weak. Plus someone needs to censor what Jeff does while wearing a white t-shirt.

Don’t just give it away, Jeff! You’re not a Kardashian. (Also, he’s scared of rides at the fair. He just wants to wait in line with you and hold your purse. We are raising this guy right.)

Honorable Mention: Jordan Staal. He reminded us yesterday that he still exists/is handsome. Video @penguins.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t think anyone will miss the Leafs this season, especially because our favorite Leaf is Elisha Cuthbert and she’s back on our TV. (You can watch One Big Happy here.) The Leafs are definitely not one big anything, unless it’s a steaming pile of mess, and there is no happy. Even Joffrey Lupul is posting sad lyrics as status updates, like a maudlin 10th grader. [song]

But at least when the season ends, he still looks like this.

HOLD UP. Did you know you can rate Joffrey’s outfits and raise money for charity?! How have we never known this, we’ve just been doing it for free! Our work, going to waste! Visit lupulstyle.com to vote.

Buffalo Sabres

Poor Zach Bogosian, getting traded to Buffalo. Update NY still loves flannel and fried chicken, though.

At least he’s not alone. Marcus Foligno wants to know if, while you were watching his brother captain a squad of drafting drunks at the All-Star Game, you thought about the cold, windswept blue of his eyes [video]:

No? Well, there’s always next year. And alllllllllll summer. Next week we’ll say goodbye to what’s left of the West, then it’s on to the playoffs we go.

The cold kind of always bothered me anyway.

People are so demanding.

“What are the two house rules? Number One: No dating till you graduate. Number Two: No dating till you graduate.”

Foxy Friday: Alexander Wennberg

In defense of these texts, Alex is just about the only Swedish NHL player we haven’t featured.  Also, we have been in the market for a new intern.  Alex is 20 (skip that part), plays in the Blue Jackets organization and, well…

“Well, now that you’ve seen “the plan”, I’m gonna go and show “the plan” to someone else.”

We don’t typically feature AHL players, but Alex was sent down to Springfield just last weekend and I don’t have a backup plan for this week’s post. Also he scored his first AHL point last night, so we’re breaking the rules this time.  And laws.

“You are amazingly self-assured, has anyone ever told you that?”

Did I mention Alex is 20? You have the right to remain silent. I’ll be sending this post to my 17-year old niece, who loves boybands and styled hair (she’s a smart girl).  It should send her shrieking to a Springfield Falcons game.  She’s not allowed to accept a ride home though.

“You’re not going out and getting jiggy with some guy, I don’t care how dope his ride is.”

I don’t care how v-neck some guy’s Euroshirt is.

“Can we, for two seconds, ignore the fact that you’re severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy?”

And none of this looking all innocent-yet-filth-rich, okay?

“Damn, I was going for thoughtful.”

But I will allow Alex to rescind his selection of Justin Beiber over One Direction, because this was 2013 and I presume he’s come to his senses by now.

Old Britney all the way, though.

Follow Alex on Twitter @wenniss, or Google Image search him and enjoy the related result suggestions: Beau Bennett, Gabe Landeskog, Eric Gudbranson.  Happy Friday, our work here is done.

“I happen to like being adored, thank you!”

Full video of the above interview is here.

Caption quotes from 10 Things I Hate About You, since I was thinking about high school. This movie is required viewing for our friendship, so if you haven’t seen it, I will give you my Netflix password.

Penguins take years off my life, defeat Blue Jackets in series: 4-2

What are we supposed to do?  NOT hope for leads because they get snatched away? NEVER want a power play for fear of giving up a shorty?  I don’t know which end is up except the Penguins won so hallelujah.  Columbus played their pants off and boy, were they having fun right up till that final buzzer sounded.

Can we still come to your All-Star Game?

I will say nice things about them in the off-season.  You guys can say them now. They’ll all be true and I won’t read them because I am busy going to Round 2.  The Pens found some dominance in Games 5 and 6 – even if they didn’t hold it for 60 minutes, it felt good to know it’s still there.

I AM SCORE THREE TIMES.

Besides CBJ, the off-season isn’t so bad.  Ask the Stars:

Source: Instagram, Instagram

Is there an Instagram filter called “Leg Hair” used on Seguin?  Also, is it weird the thing I’m most envious about in these photos are that it’s warm enough to wear shorts?  This winter has ruined me.  I digress.

Back to business: In case you missed it, Sidney Crosby has no goals. Maybe you didn’t hear last night’s commentators repeating it like a rosary or you failed to see the hilltop bonfires lit to spread the news from town to town.  It’s like the scene in 101 Dalmatians where every dog in London barks at the same time.

Yes, Captain.

The only real question is: how many goal-less playoff games until Superstitious Sid tosses the yellow Crocs?  (Answer: Never. They are hideously fun, so be glad for them. He could have gotten black ones.)

Silly, his black Crocs are for formal occasions only.

Brooks Orpik, it takes a man to stand front and center in pink-on-pink businesswear. Or, since it’s probably designer, salmon-on-salmon.  Elle Woods Approved.  Taylor Pyatt’s back there looking perfectly pastel acceptable in lavender and it’s no mistake Megna’s standing up front in that outfit. Just a mistake to stand next to Borts, the handsomest Penguin you’ve never heard of.

Only one beautifully bracketed addition today.  Everybody else is headed for a one-game cage match.  We’re going to need beer and bandages.

Day 14

Wild: 5; Avalanche: 2 [Series tied 3-3]

The Wild and Avalanche (two of the three NHL teams whose names are not plural) were locked at 2 goals a piece for nearly 30 breathless minutes.  Finally, with his second goal of the night and powered by chocolate milk, Zach Parise scored the goal Minnesota paid him $98 million over 13 years to score.  Well not the only goal, but you’ve got to get the first one first.  Add in two Wild ENs because Patrick Roy loves to pull goalies early and Minny forces this series back to Denver for Game 7.  My money is still on the Avs, but it’s not $98 million worth.

Kings: 4; Sharks: 1 [Series tied 3-3]

Three in a row – done. Why not four? The Kings scored three goals in 2:46 to break this game open and fuel what could be an historic comeback in playoff hockey.

Only three NHL teams have ever pulled off a four-straight resurrection [great stats on 0-3 comebacks].  Usually fans of the trailing team start fantasizing about this at the end of Game 3.  The last time I was still talking about it after Game 6?  Red Sox/Yankees, 2004 ALCS.  Chuck and I know it can be done.  The Kings clearly do too.  But the Sharks?  They’ll need to reset their heads and play like they were, not like they are.

Ask for Thursday off now, Wednesday is going to be a late one.

Who needs sleep? Well you’re never gonna get it.

Tonight now means more to me than ever.

Rangers at Flyers – Game 6.  You know what I’m going to do? Root for the Rangers.  Though I’d be fine with PHI taking this to seven and then losing, it’s a little too close.  I would rather Pens/NYR in Round 2. Pittsburgh showed composure in R1 through plenty of tough situations, so I have faith they can hold it.  Just something about the Flyers brings out the worst in me them… but GAH I kind of want to play the Flyers, I ADMIT IT!  BLOOD AND FIRE!

Someone should check on me later.

The networks have all kinds of on-hiatus hockey players pitching in as commentators during these playoffs.  Let us make the offer official: Alex Pietrangelo, you and your currently unemployed hair are welcome here anytime.

This look will be missed.

I think we could even use a pool man now that the Stars are available.  We don’t have a pool, but…

Leave Hartnell and the socks at home.

Ducks eliminate Stars: 3-2

This one hurt.  We were all falling a little in love with Dallas, or at least their Twitter account.  Let’s hope that doesn’t get a summer vacation.

Like so many game in this post-season, the Stars had this one and they blew it.  The Ducks scored two goals in the last 2:10 to tie the game, then won it shortly into overtime.  It’s all summed by this beard and the scoreboard which I’ve helpfully left visible for anyone who likes to wallow in misery.

99% beard, 1% brows

It’s hard for me to understand the rage Corey Perry causes people without watching him in a long series against a single team.  Now I really get why he’s good at it and why other fans hate him.  Round 2 will be an in-state series vs. the Kings or Sharks.

We’ll never be far from an In-N-Out Burger!

Blackhawks eliminate Blues: 4-2

Sorry Blues.  (I’m not, not at all.)  After being up 2-0 in the series, they dropped four in a row to the defending Champs and are on their way to summer.  Here’s what you need to know about Chicago going into Round 2.  Patrick Kane can score in OT [video].  Jonathan Toews can score in OT on a breakaway:

gif by @cjzero

And Patrick Sharp can score on a breakaway while someone puts their stick blade in his perfect face:

gif by sportsblogging.tumblr.com

Bruins eliminate Red Wings: 4-1

Oh happy Chuck.  How nice it must be to root for a team withs so few weaknesses and also the ability to fix them.  In Game 1, the Bruins played with all the speed of Red Sox’s David Ortiz.  (Non-baseball fans, this is sarcasm.  The man cannot run.)  Starting in Game 2, they went faster… and it worked.  They will face the Canadiens for the 257th time in NHL playoff history.  Everyone hates each other, prepare to die.

Video: Bergy has some sleepy-voiced things to say.

Thus the bracket has been bracketed three more times.  For the record, so far I’ve been right 100% of the time.  Chuck is currently at 75% since she didn’t pick the Canadiens.  She would never pick those jerks.

For those of us with teams still battling to the pain:

Rangers lead Flyers: 3-2

The Flyers figured how to win once at MSG and they’ll need to do it again to survive this series.  But first, they have to win Tuesday night at home.  They held the NYR to only 22 shots Sunday, but the Rangers capitalized on what few chances their persistence and speed (and Flyer mistakes) could generate.

While I want both teams gone, is there anyway they could just leave the beard?

Sunday post-game interview: Gingertime Sadness

Penguins take series lead over Blue Jackets: 3-2

I ditched a bachelorette party mid-bar crawl to catch the end of this.  Of course I refused to leave even after Letang’s EN goal just in case.  Kunitz had 1G, 1A plus 7 SOG and 6 hits.  Throw that body around, Sock Monkey!  Fleury bounced back (See? SEEEEEE???) stopping 23 of 24, while the Pengins had a whopping 50 shots.  Game 6 Monday night, I’ll be on the floor of my living room in a fort made of pizza boxes.

Dog days are over?

Kings stay alive again, still trail Sharks: 3-2

Well what do you know, the Kings have staved off elimination twice now.  The first four games of the series averaged 7.75 goals per game.  Jonathan Quick gave up 16G in that stretch, but found his mojo Saturday and the Kings won 3-0 in an orderly fashion.  Can they do it again Monday night or will the Kings leave LA’s perpetual summer for regular old summer somewhere else?

Pelvic thrust.

Avalanche take lead over Wild, Errrrrrybody Mad: 3-2

Remember me raging about the disallowed Tampa Bay goal back a ways?  Well the Wild had plenty to say about this oh-so-close, offsides-or-on moment with less than 1:30 to go in Game 5.  There was no call on the play, so of course the Avs scored and forced overtime.

Image by @johncanref

Offside say the Wild media | Inconclusive say the Avs media

If the Wild had won, we wouldn’t still be talking about this.  Too bad the Avs have TriWizard Tournament hopeful Nathan MacKinnon with his 2nd goal (and League-leading 10th point) of the playoffs.

Monday night Colorado will have the chance to reach Round 2 for the first time in 6 years.  Guess who else they’ll very likely have?

Hey girl.

Duchene’s go/no-go will be announced after the morning skate.  We say go.

What this all means is that three more bracket spots could be locked Monday night, or any of three series could need a Game 7.  I could need blood pressure medication.  Just another day in the playoffs.  Stay ready.

Screw you, Day Eight.

Last night I was very PANIC! AT THE DISCO.  I feel a little better this morning , so allow me to re-edit my thoughts.

Blue Jackets: 4; Penguins: 3 [Series tied 2-2]

Listen, Fleury has been the Penguins’ best player all series.  Sometimes he is their only player actually playing.  So much has been said over the years about his fragile confidence that I want to sucker punch a sportscaster in the junk.  Last night the Penguins played a  great 20 minutes, followed by what felt like a 40 minute penalty kill.  So after an endless amount of this:

There was a single, slow motion, crash zoom moment of this:

With 24 seconds left in the game and a 1 goal lead.  And then overtime.  And then the Penguins lost.  Series tied.

expletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletive

There is no reason, no why.  But if I had a dollar for every time I yelled, “STAYINYOURNETFLOWER!” I’d be blogging from a private island where Chris Evans brings me cake between rounds of shirtless push-ups.  So there is also no surprise.  It’s a flabbergasting and inexplicable mistake, I don’t think Flower himself would argue against that.

Yet it was made by the man who’s been holding everyone else’s crap together for nearly four games.  I hate that this happened to Flower – it’s like a bad rumor making itself true.  His job is to make saves, not carry the team.  If those things are one and the same sometimes, so be it.  Blame falls far and wide for how the Penguins even ended up in this situation.  In that way, Fleury is lucky.  If Scuderi had made a mistake this costly?  Riots.  Letang?  WAR.

That it’s Flower is both the best and worst thing for a team that has no choice but to rebound Saturday night.  Fleury will get a chance to prove, in real time, that he is not the fall apart mess people say.  He’s a great goalie.  The damage is done.  We’re asking him to forget it and move on so let’s do the same, yeah?  Let’s have faith, and please don’t let it be the delusionally misguided playoff kind.  If these guys need their backs against the wall to win battles and outplay their opponent, well they’ve got their chance.  (#PensInSix)

Stars: 4; Ducks: 2 [Series tied 2-2]

On a night when Ryan Getzlaf was out with an upper-body injury and Teemu Selanne was a healthy scratch, Game 4 in Dallas promised to be exciting.  Like final whistle line brawl exciting.

The Ducks were unhappy after Game 3, where they felt the Stars were running Ryan Getzlaf because of his injured face. [link]  Dallas’ Ryan Garbutt broke the leg of Anaheim’s Stephane Robidas in a play for the puck [Garbutt apologized, Robidas accepted: link].  There’s history now and bad blood.  The Stars scored four unanswered goals and the Ducks are in a bit of a panic after being ousted in the first round last year.  Regardless, all fights should have streamers.

Jamie Benn had another goal.  That’s all you really wanted to know, right?

Blackhawks: 4; Blues: 3 [Series tied 2-2]

It wouldn’t the Blackhawks if it didn’t take overtime.  They blew a two goal lead in the first.  The Blues had plenty of chances to extend their lead but could not convert.  Brian Bickell tied the game with under four minutes left in regulation.  Then in overtime, which they’ve needed three of the four games in this series, Patrick Kane:

Because Jess is a good person who loves the Blackhawks, she wanted to be sure you didn’t miss Captain I’m Fun Now doing post-game press in his booty shorts [video].

Now all of these series are new again.  They’ve done the homework, there are no surprises left.  Chicago and Dallas are on the upswing while Pittsburgh could certainly use a fresh start.  Everyone knows exactly what it will take to win a Best of Three.  Give yourself a day (two if you’re the Penguins, whose practice this morning was cancelled) and when this resumes we will fight not to the death.  No no, our losers have to watch someone else steal their dream.  As always we fight:

Penguins: 4, Blue Jackets 3 [Pens lead series 2-1]

This game started and an instant later the Jackets had scored two goals.  Okay, maybe it took 3:18, but it felt like a heartbeat.  The Penguins were not ready, not willing and not at all able while I just watched like:

It continued into the second period.  Pittsburgh shot total multiplied exponentially but nothing got past Bobrovsky.  They had 257 power plays – alright 6; the CBJ were throwing themselves into the box – but converted on zero.  This from the NHL’s #1 regular season PP!  When I tell you I yelled, “The next person who blows a drop pass coming into the zone gets my foot up his ass!” I mean I was loud.

Finally Brooks Orpik (ofallpeopleexceptLetangmewlingdeath!!) scored in the last gasp of the 2nd period.

And of course, the Jackets got it right back to start the third.

Only I didn’t leave.  I sent my Patronus away so it wouldn’t have to watch but I am not strong enough to resist.  Then the Penguins scored.

1:10 later they scored again.

1:03 after that they scored again.

I was freaking out and faith-healed and curled into a weird knot on my living room floor.  Three goals on three shots in 2:13.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

Then they won.  And this was me, for a solid two hours after:

It’s only Game 3.  Crosby, Kunitz, Malkin and Neal have no goals – only Geno even has a point.  So many wasted man advantages.  Flower stayed confident despite a messy start.  Alison & I both performed mid-game costume changes to what we wore for Game 1 and it worked.  I’m exhausted.  I might be overreacting.  Maybe everything is going to be okay.

Right, Sid?

GAH.  That’s what you always say.

Blackhawks: 2; Blues: 0 [Blues lead series 2-1]

Well no one died, which makes it a model of restraint after last game’s dirty hit/suspension/general abhorrence.  Instead the Hawks set the pace early when Captain I’m Fun Now put a gimmie through the wickets on Ryan Miller.  Corey Crawford pitched a shutout and the Hawks staved off an almost certain death – for now.

Wild: 1; Avalanche: 0 [Avs lead series 2-1]

Zero goals until 5:08 of overtime.  After a combined 9 G in Game 1 and 6 G in Game 2, this match was locked down.  The Avs managed on 22 shots on Darcy Kuemper in his playoff debut, while Minnesota threw 46 shots on Varlamov.  Matt Cookie hit Tyson Barrie knee-on-knee and will likely (deservedly) be the second player suspended this post-season.  See it here.  I don’t want to watch it again.  Instead watch Mikael Granlund’s holy moly game-winner:

Stars: 3; Ducks: 0

I was only half-watching this game after the emotional trauma of the Pens’ game, but I know the DuckTales theme when I hear it!  The Stars in-game staff played it during a third period timeout.  If you were sleeping, search ‘DucksTales’ on Twitter.  Harmless fun and who doesn’t want to hear that song?  [The Albany River Rats used to play “Even the Losers (Get Lucky Sometimes)” when the opposing team scored.  I laughed even when we were losing.]

Jamie Benn had a goal and the post-game interview, but you should be tuning in for Jordie Benn’s megabeard.  Someone find me a picture of that!

Tonight, tonight it’s Montreal with the chance to give Tampa Bay the first playoff exit of the year.  The Bruins/Red Wings and Rangers/Flyers all try to gain the edge in tied series and late night, the Sharks will attempt to go up 3-0 over the Kings.  The first two games have each seen 9 total goals scored.  Sounds exciting – if only we could stay awake!

1. Enjoy a composed evening of important hockey that matters on a theoretical level, but not to your team.
2. Like me, last night:

One goal games all around, and no one made it look easy.  Here we go, Round One: Day One already gearing up to be great.

Canadiens: 5, Lightning: 4

Did you get dizzy watching this one?  Twice Tampa Bay took the lead, only to lose it in 0:19 and 3:15 respectively.  Montreal went up by a goal twice, only to be tied again in 2:01 and 1:57.  The last game-tying goal was a beauty by Stamkos, coast-to-coast, all alone:

Almost an entire OT period was needed to end this, the Habs getting the win.   Still some good numbers for the Lightning – they had only 25 shots on Price but scored 4 times, while Lindback stopped 39 of 44.  On Montreal’s end, that’s a lot of shots!  Vanek had 7 of them, including this very pretty goal:

Penguins: 4,  Blue Jackets: 3

TOO CLOSE, THANK YOU.  If every game in the series is like this, I may not survive.  I expect it will be, since all Pens defensemen over the age of Matt Niskanen have a tendency to do what only Mokiki can do so well: the Sloppy Swish.

SNL Video: (The Legend of) Mokiki and the Sloppy Swish

They will magically get it together for periods (of time, not hockey).  Let’s hope for more of those.  Flower I thought was not bad – the first 2 goals were all the D’s fault, the 3rd he’d love to have back.  If only the world were a wish granting factory.

The Jackets are, of course, good and scary.  I was sore from watching guys get hit on TV.  Also from punching the screen every time Brandon Dubinksy’s face came up.  That’s his job and he does it so well.

Ducks: 4, Stars: 3

I went to bed when this was 3-0 Anaheim, all in the first.  I did a “WHAT?!” this morning when I saw the final score.  For twenty minutes things were bleak, but it was just the rust of not making the playoffs for the last 5 seasons.  They are good now.  But are they as good as the Ducks?

Ryan Getzlaf, with the Tyler Seguin slapshot-to-face:

If not for Getz’s mug, who knows?  The Stars could have tied in the final seconds.  They came close more than once.  Coach Boudreau expects Getzlaf to have a “nasty cut” but hopefully be fine and they will know more today.

Foxy Friday: Matt Calvert

If you want to get noticed around here, it can’t hurt to look like a Weasley.

Or perhaps:

Matt, who spent half of last season with Columbus and half with the AHL’s Springfield Falcons, recently returned after missing 19 games due to abdominal surgery [link].  He scored just 2:47 into his first game back on November 22 (loss to VAN).  Might as well run around yelling, “Hiiiiiiiiii, I’m here now!”

Then he scored against the Penguins, when he knew I’d be watching, and again the very next day vs. New Jersey.

Last night, Matt put one past King Henrik to score in a 3rd straight game.  That’s 4 G in 13 games – not bad considering last year he totaled 9 G in 42 games.

Throw in a Foxy Friday and who knows where this could lead.

Matt exhibits most of our required Foxy Friday qualities, such as:

– Wearing shorts and having charming interactions with children.  Bonus if they’re at the same time.

– Palpable awkwardness.  I like that his expression can be mistaken for a smile,when really he’s unsure why you’ve surprised him in this hallway.

– Inevitable acceptance of helmet hair:

– Home improvement skills:

– Sense of humor/fearless Halloween approach:

And meeting this week’s requirement, he even has a PUPPY.

So far the only strike against Matt here is he doesn’t like One Direction.  This calls for a conversionary many-hour road trip sing along with me and Alison. Perhaps from here to Columbus for next year’s All-Star Game?

Matt’s 24th birthday is Christmas Eve – you know that’s rough, people always going for just one present.  Consider this an early gift, Matt, and maybe we’ll put something else under the tree.

Stats list Matt at 5’11” or 5’9″ depending on where you look.  Even at that size, he has 4 NHL fights – 2 wins, a loss and a draw, in this one which I’ve seen before. Sorry Matt, didn’t notice you there behind Letang’s sexhair.

As this will be Matt’s first full season with the Blue Jackets, we implore those fans to get on the case right away.  There is only one – one! – page of Tumblr content on Matt.  There are more posts about the bagel I had for breakfast.

We trust it won’t take long to remedy this injustice now that Matt’s back on active duty.  The Jackets have won their last two, and next face a bunch of teams we don’t care if they beat (STL, WPG) and one we hope the squash (Philly). So live on, goal-scoring streak.  May you be sustained by the power of Foxy Friday.

Follow Matt at @mattcalvert11.

A large part of our anxiety is that if the NHL does lockout, we will be denied a new shiny batch of Foxy Fridays to choose from.  And that is just not fair.

For this week’s feature, we look at some rookies & top NHL draft picks looking to make it into the esteemed and exclusive Foxy Friday Fraternity.

Nail Yakupov – Edmonton Oilers

The new Russian Machine?

Brady Skjei – New York Rangers

Like this team needs any more reasons to get foxier.  The last name along is worthy.  Also, is it just me, or does he looks suspiciously like Ethan Embry’s little brother?

Henrik Samuelsson – Phoenix Coyotes

Swedish. Again, we say – what is in the water?!!??

Ryan Murray – Columbus Blue Jackets

The departure of Rick Nash has seriously depleted the foxy in Columbus. Enter Ryan Murray to save the day.

Cody Ceci – Ottawa Senators

Hmmmm…shoulders….

Filip Forsberg – Washington Capitals

Seriously, Sweden!  WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR COUNTRY?

Justin Courtnall – Boston Bruins

Those eyes are peering into my soul…and I like it.

Tom Wilson – Washington Capitals

The hair. The face. The hair, again.

Look out, Mike Green.

So, who do you think deserves consideration as a future Foxy Friday? Any other rookies or draft picks you think we should include on this list?

The Dallas Stars finished in 9th place last year too.  Frustrated but the hopeful.  The ultimate hockey fan emotions.

Flames fans are a tough bunch, just ask Lindsay.  You can’t ever get tickets, and they haven’t made the playoffs in three years.  That’s dedication.  Do the damned Canucks have to be first *every* year?!

The Avalanche have a few up-and-comers among our favorite players to watch.  They had some rich years, and we think they’re coming back.  More Landeskoging, please.

I once figured that based on all the consecutive sellouts the Wild had, including pre-season games, that you could put a second NHL franchise in their parking lot and it would see more tickets than the Coyotes every night.  We are beyond impressed.

Anaheim.  I don’t know what the hell happened there, but this team should be tearing it up.  I’d like to see them give this top notch cast another season – Ryan, Perry, and Getzlaf if he can find his mojo.  And Teemu, please play forever.

The Oilers are rebuilding away.  With Eberle, Hall and Nugent-Hopkins clicking and a strong team behind them, it’ll be watch out world.

Columbus, don’t give up.  We know it hurts with Nash and that the wait has been long.  We hope a new chapter is starting.  Oh, and we’re coming to visit for the All-Star Game.

So long to the favorites who finished – play some golf, get healthy and come back hungry.  Now,on to those still left.

John Scott was “shocked” to be traded to the Rangers, and was in the middle of doing laundry when the call came.  Bonus points for Foxy Fridays Matt Duchene and Gabriel Landeskog, who led the Avalanche love-fest for players both coming and going by Tweeting their teammates hello and goodbye simultaneously.  Brian Rolston goes back to Boston, where he played 4+ seasons.  The winners are anyone leaving the Islanders or Jets, and anyone going to the Canucks.  The abstainer was The Washington Capitals.  The loser?  Rick Nash.  Let’s discuss.

The Washington Capitals made zero trades, surprising a lot of people.  This seems to say that GMGM either 1) thinks the team is fine the way it is or 2) has given up on this season.  In my opinion, it’s more likely that no one was buying at his prices.  The Caps chemistry is flawed and inconsistent, but it doesn’t need to be burned to the ground.  GMGM showed continued/expensive faith in stars and fragile pandas (Sasha Fierce, Mike Green).

Misplaced faith?  Ask me in six weeks when the Caps don’t make the playoffs.  But what they had to sell (Knuble, Hamrlik) really only matches the Rolston/Mottau deal, and that was for prospects.  The Caps need players who can deliver immediately.  To get those guys, GMGM would have had to give up some of the few things that are actually working for the Caps.  I don’t want Laich, Chimera, Perreault or anyone else moving when they seem to be the only hopes left for March and April.

Then there’s poor Rick Nash.   Chuck and I are biased because we love his smiley lumberjack ways.  Also because he’s incredibly talented and seems like a genuinely nice guy.  But he’s no fool.  All Nash has to show for 9 seasons with the Blue Jackets is one trip to the playoffs, swept by the Red Wings.  The only place this captain is going is down with his ship – so he finally wanted off.

Columbus GM Scott Howson revealed yesterday that Nash asked to be traded [link].  This refuted talk the Jackets were shopping him of their own accord, and came as the clock ticked down on the biggest fish in the trade pond still trying to bite a hook.  But no team would put out enough bait.  Howson defended his astronomical asking price by pointing out he is neither required nor compelled to trade Nash just because he asked nicely.

How many of these are left in Columbus?

Now, I’m mad.  Howson threw Nash under the bus.  “Think you’re miserable now?  See how it feels when I turn the fans against you!” (Obviously not a real Howson quote.)  If Rick can’t get out of Columbus this summer, my heart will break.  He wanted to anchor that team and be the franchise guy that built a winning club.  Columbus has not delivered.  The Jackets are talking about “rebuilding” – rebuilding what?!  You have one Nash-shaped support beam and no house!  You never did.

In truth, the Jackets can’t afford to sell Nash unless they immediately start winning in return.  Rick’s price tag is something between a ransom and a bounty.  He’s all they have right now, after supposed big moves like Jeff Carter are quickly forgotten.  Columbus ranks 26th overall in NHL attendance, due in part to being so close to other teams (Pittsburgh fans call match-ups in Columbus “home games.”).  Nash is putting bodies in seats on nights when no one else can.  Without him….

I also feel for the Jackets’ fans; of course they don’t want to lose their one bright spot.  These fans, all the more precious for being in an expansion market, have stuck with the team like Nash has.  I hope they understand the position he’s in.  They can still get solid players in a Nash trade.  Come summer, teams struggling to make the playoffs now will have time to figure out what a fresh start with Nash is worth.  After what will be the Jackets’ 11th rough season in a row, it’s certainly worth a try.

I am the god of hell fire and I bring

Drew was due, that we knew. Should I make all this rhyme too? It was review-able but it was still do-able.
But the refs said it was good, that made the CBJ’s bang their wood and Drew got a goal with only .04 to go and you can watch it above in slow-mo!

 Teemu got his 651st goal by the end of the night.

 Little Danny Briere put on his big boy pants and got in his third ever fight and had a hat trick to boot.

Shane Doan got his first hat trick EVER with .o1 to go – YES and the Coyotes have really needed SOMETHING to get their party started.

And faster than you can say “Excuse me but does this stick in the face make me look fat?” the PA put the hammer down on the realignment and the Blue Jackets have fired their coach. Whew. There was a crap load of exciting hockey happening this weekend and I didn’t even cover Corey Perry’s hat trick  – wait I just did.

So if you missed any of it, I suggest you watch the above because it was pure hockey magic. A banner weekend of nuggeted hockey gold wrapped tightly like a firecracker that exploded a little late for the new year but we’ll take it any way!

He’s out at Blue Jackets head coach.  Todd Richards is in.

Exit...Stage Right...

This morning the Blue Jackets announced that assistant coach Todd Richards will be taking over coaching duties of the struggling team (on an interim basis) for the rest of the season.  Richards joined the team as an assistant in June of 2011 and will make his head coaching debut on Tuesday when the club takes on the Chicago Blackhawks.

Scott Arniel now joins the every increasing list of fired NHL coaches this season – Davis Payne (Blues), Paul Maurice (Hurricanes), Bruce Boudreau (Captials), Randy Carlyle (Ducks), Jacques Martin (Canadians), and Terry Murray (Kings) – and we feel sort of bad for him.  He had a rough start to the season without James Wisniewski and a grip of players out with injuries.  They seemed to pick it up in Nov/Dec but have floundered as of late, essential sending Arniel off to collect unemployment.  Columbus is in dead-last place in the NHL, with just 27 points and 20 points out of a playoff spot.

There is no doubt that all the teams who have lost coaches this season have talented players peppering their rosters, so how come they aren’t winning?  Are the coaches not motivating the players enough?  Is their style of coaching not suited to the caliber of players on the team? Are the players being lazy? Or are they just not as good as we think they are?  Has the management just not put the right pieces of the puzzle together to build a winning hockey team?

So with this recent firing, we want to pose a question to our WUYS readers.

When a team is struggling & not winning games, who’s really to blame?  The coach?  The players?  The management?

At least Kid Rock looks excited.

Chicago beat Vancouver (ooh, say it again!) 5-2 with a couple of wacky bouncers.  Kaner, Hossa, Montador and Toews all had 2-point games.  And for anyone who didn’t cringe when we made Patrick Kane a Foxy Friday, he’s got a new One Goal commercial [link].

Brendan starched another shirt and Shanabanned Blues’ Chris Stewart three games for boarding Wings’ Niklas Kronwall.  This one’s ugly.

NHL.com used my favorite phrase as a headline.  Sadly it’s about Ilya Kovalchuk.  I watched this hoping actual pants would fall, but alas there is only a very pretty goal.

The Islanders introduced their third jerseys, which are pretty standard.  They’re worlds better than this yellow mess Nashville adopted, but no amount of fashion changes the fact you are still the Islanders (sorry).

The red-hot Bruins put their 6 game win streak on the line tonight vs. Blue Jackets.  Seguin’s on fire (Chuck loves) and leads the NHL in plus/minus rating with +15.  (Don’t mind EStaal down at the bottom with -18.)  Speaking of bottom of the barrel, Columbus is 3-13-1 with only 7 points on the season.  Now that I’ve said that, they’ll probably win.

Team Jacob

The Penguins are in Tampa Bay tonight and Sid will not play.  Errrrbody calm down (obviously I mean me).  Disco Dan would not comment on Saturday’s game – could Sid return?  I want him back this instant, but am also willing to await a triumphant debut in DC on 12/1 when I’m getting booed for wearing my 87 at Verizon Center.  It would be like a romantic comedy: Sid taking the ice, me dodging flying food, then Pens winning.  I can see it now.

James Neal will of course play tonight, and he’s got a 7-game point streak going (ties longest of his career).  JStaal has three goals in two games.  Stamkos and Neal are tied will 11 goals, and I like to think this means bromance rivalry.

Now boys, don't fight.

Only 8 hours 10 minutes till game time.

Rick’s got his own workout video AND his own home gym in which to do it.

Four words.

Rick. Nash. Workout. Video.

*dies*

Why I am I just finding this now??

He really is trying to keel me.

This man can wear a backwards baseball cap like a boss.

He’s doing this on purpose.   Just to torture me.

Doesn’t he know what this does to me? *swoons*

The hair.

The beard.

Those shoulders.

*chuckmeltsintopuddleoflove*

P.S. Click here to watch post game interview of Rick being all adorable and lumberjacky.

*meltsalloveragain*

As a Bruins fan, I’m glad to see that the B’s are holding steady in the top 10.  They’ve been playing well, despite their back to back losses to the #3 Red Wings.  The line of Patrice Bergeron, Mark “Wrecking Ball” Recchi, and Brad Marchand is arguably one of the top lines in all of the NHL.  They hit, they produce major points, and they work hard each and every shift.  Marchand’s nickname should be “Motoscooter”!  He is wonderfully aggressive on the fore-check and is having a breakout season for the B’s.  Chuck likes.

All out. All the time.

Glad to see that Rick Nash and the Columbus Blue Jackets moving up the rankings (from 26th to 19th).  They’ve been winning.  Nasher been getting points (5 points in last 5 games).  Rick gets named a Foxy Friday and his team’s starts playing better?  A coincidence?  I think not.

Look at Patrice Bergeron.  Before being a Foxy Friday Honoree?  Having an okay season.  After FF?  Hot like fire.

WUYS is more powerful than we thought.

So, where does your favorite team rank?  Do you agree or disagree with Burnside’s list?  Do you think the Flyers can overtake the Canucks with the acquisition of forward Kris Versteeg?

Discuss.

2010-2011 Power Rankings: Week 20

2010-2011 Power Rankings: Week 20
	RK (LW)	TEAM	REC	COMMENT
	1 (1)	Canucks	36-11-9	No truth to the rumor that Harold Snepsts is coming out of retirement to patrol the Canucks’ blue line. Ho-hum. The NHL’s first-place team responded to its latest blue-line injuries by beating rival Calgary on Saturday night.
	2 (2)	Flyers	36-14-5	We’re told the Flyers are looking for a veteran forward before the Feb. 28 trade deadline. In the meantime, is revenge in the cards Tuesday night in Tampa Bay after a 4-0 loss to the Lightning two weeks ago?
	3 (6)	Red Wings	34-16-6	I’m here to restore Hockeytown’s finest after Scott Burnside’s demotion. A home-and-home dismantling of the Big, Bad Bruins was mighty impressive this past weekend.
	4 (3)	Lightning	34-17-5	Looking forward to my visit to Tampa Bay on Tuesday to catch the Flyers-Bolts clash. This week also brings a mighty test against GM Steve Yzerman’s former team, the Detroit Red Wings.
	5 (12)	Ducks	32-21-4	I’m sorry, but any team that wins in Vancouver and Calgary on the same road trip these days automatically jumps in the rankings. Seriously, how about these Ducks?!
	6 (13)	Kings	31-22-3	Wins in Washington and Philadelphia this past weekend cement what is reality: The Kings are back, baby. They haven’t lost in regulation since Jan. 20 (7-0-2).
	7 (8)	Sharks	30-21-6	A couple of unlucky losses this past weekend, but the Sharks (like the Kings) are back in the hunt, where we all thought they would be.
	8 (7)	Bruins	31-18-7	A dominating and emotional win over rival Montreal followed by home-and-home losses to the Red Wings. Ouch.
	9 (5)	Capitals	29-17-10	We can’t figure this team out. Back-to-back losses, and now comes a five-game road trip. Will the real Washington Capitals please stand up?
	10 (9)	Canadiens	31-20-6	The Canadiens posted an important bounce-back win over the rival Maple Leafs on Saturday night after an emotional week.
	11 (10)	Predators	30-19-7	All the Carrie Underwood jokes aside, Mike Fisher is a perfect add-on by the Preds from a hockey perspective.
	12 (17)	Wild	30-20-5	The Wild’s recently improved play will get tested against the league’s best (Vancouver) on Tuesday night.
	13 (11)	Stars	31-19-6	The first-half wonders have dropped seven of nine games, including Sunday’s 2-1 stinker against Columbus.
	14 (16)	Coyotes	29-19-9	Four wins in a row, including a big one Saturday over the Blackhawks. Now will folks buy some tickets in Phoenix? Anyone?
	15 (14)	Blackhawks	28-22-6	You just keep thinking that there’s no way the Cup champs will miss the playoffs, but one day the regular season will end and …
	16 (15)	Flames	28-22-8	The Heritage Classic hosts finally cool off with back-to-back losses to Anaheim and Vancouver. The big outdoor game is Sunday versus the Habs.
	17 (4)	Penguins	35-19-4	This drop is a little harsh, I know, but with the way they’re playing right now and with all their injuries (Evgeni Malkin is out for the season, and Sidney Crosby is still sidelined), the Penguins are just not very good.
	18 (22)	Sabres	26-22-6	Sunday’s overtime loss to the Islanders aside, the boys from Buffalo are on the rise.
	19 (26)	Blue Jackets	28-23-5	We’re moving the Jackets up seven spots … winners of five of six games!
	20 (18)	Rangers	30-24-4	The Rangers beat up the depleted Penguins on Sunday, but one wonders whether this team is going in the right direction.
	21 (19)	Hurricanes	27-22-8	Can you spell H-U-G-E? Sunday’s late victory over Atlanta was indeed that.
	22 (23)	Devils	22-30-4	With their current play, the Devils should be ranked within the top 10, but the rankings can’t ignore New Jersey’s first half of the season.
	23 (21)	Thrashers	25-23-10	The Thrashers are going in the wrong direction. It’s too bad, because we love what president Don Waddell, GM Rick Dudley and coach Craig Ramsay have tried to do there this season.
	24 (25)	Panthers	24-24-7	We’ve got to give the Panthers credit. Just when you want to write them off, they come back with some big wins.
	25 (24)	Blues	24-21-9	They are running out of time.
	26 (20)	Avalanche	25-25-6	The Peter Forsberg comeback lasted all of two games, as the forward is expected to announce his retirement Monday afternoon. Meanwhile, the Avs have lost nine of 10 games.
	27 (28)	Islanders	20-29-7	Just when you think there’s no way the NHL’s doormat franchise could find a new low, it goons it up like the Hanson Brothers last week against Pittsburgh. Brutal.
	28 (27)	Maple Leafs	23-27-6	GM Brian Burke is just getting started heading into the Feb. 28 trade deadline.
	29 (29)	Senators	18-30-8	A win! A win! A win! The Senators’ 11-game slide ends in Edmonton!
	30 (30)	Oilers	16-32-8	Well, Saturday’s matinee ironed out any doubt about the No. 29/No. 30 debate.

Okay, so not actual lumberjacks (considering I’ve never met one) but guys who look like lumberjacks.  Tall.  Scruffy.  Woodsy.  Unabashedly manly.

This girl is living my fantasy.

For this week’s Foxy Friday, I’ve decided to honor Columbus Blue Jackets right winger, Rick Nash – the original NHL Lumberjack.

All that's missing is a red & black checked shirt.

In all honesty, I’d totally forgotten about Nasher.  But then he goes and makes the All-Star Team again and like the tulips in the Boston Public Gardens in the spring…my love is renewed.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my awesome girlfriend. Her name is Chuck and she's amazing.

Can you really blame me for forgetting about him?  He plays in a small market team that very rarely, if ever, plays mine. (read: Not on TV)  His team is never on Versus or NHL on NBC.  (read: Not on TV)  I’m so delighted that he got some screen time at the NHL All Star Fantasy Draft.  Seeing him NOT be so horribly awkward like a majority of the other players make me realized the reason why I’d loved him in the first place. Nasher at All-Star Draft.

Look out, Mike Green. Nasher & his hair are coming for ya.

So, why is Nasher so Foxy?

1. the 2010 Season stats – 23 goals, 21 assists, 5 GWG
2. the hair
3. the beard
4. the lips
5. 1st overall pick in the 2002 Entry Draft
6. the fact that he’s remained loyal to CBJ when I’m sure he’s had the chance to go to a large market team
7. won the 2009 NHL Foundation Player Award for his work in the community (read: big softie)
8. Olympic Gold Medalist

Sidney: "Still coming over for dinner tomorrow night? Pants is making enchiladas." Rick: "Oh great. I love enchiladas."

Ricky, the fire in my heart burns for you once more.

And thanks to newly found videos on the Bluejackets’ website, I promise that it will never again die out.

(See Exhibit A: Water bottle = Stanley Cup?)

Those jeans should be illegal.

Anyway, you could see that Thomas couldn’t believe it either. It was like in a movie where you see the good guy screaming “Nooooooo!” is slow motion but this time there was no diving to save the pretty girl. Only Timmy standing there like every one else, watching Peter Puck waving adios as he slid by, waving a fine how do you do as he tapdanced over the goal line tallying the first goal for Montreal. It was a pretty amazing game but Chara starting playing rock ’em sock ’em robots at the end and I don’t know why he didn’t get a suspension. He was popping Canadiens WITH his gloves on left and right like it was groundhogs day! (see goal at about 1:20 mark)

The LA King’s goalie Jonathan Quick started out having an awesome day but with a freak squeak it started a landslide of swarming blue jackets and he almost lost it for my sweet Drew, AKA, touched by God, Doughty. But it did give a kid his first NHL goal – Calvert which is a good thing but it also gave Columbus some momentum and the Kings almost lost the game after a 4-0 lead!

BUT – on to the happiest news of the weekend – BESIDES the last part of the post to come – Martin Brodeur who was playing BACK-UP, no that is no a typo, was put in net for New Jersey this weekend and although he didn’t win the game, he didn’t implode. He got the start for the next game and they WON!  Not only did they win, he went for the holy grail for goalies, a GOAL! He didn’t get it but he got an ASSIST! Mr. Cherrie was so excited he about peed his pants. He LIVES for that moment in hockey when goalies try for that.

http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf

Lastly, Ovi returned to true form this weekend and I had to blink repeatedly because I SWEAR I was rewatching an old game which I have resorted to doing. I miss watching him score, so to pull myself out of the grumpy grumps, I rewatched the Caps 10 greatest game pack.  That would make 7 games to watch. So I got a little confused – was it live or was it memorex? And it was LIVE BABY! WAHOO! YAY!