(To those of you lobbying for a Cam Talbot feature, you’ll have to wait until they are playing someone I hate in the post-season. I’m not about to let Foxy Friday accidentally help a Ranger right now.)

Not every team’s fate is sealed, but we’re being reasonable with Wild Card possibilities. This likely means someone will go 9-0 and ruin our lives. Forgoing teams that could still make it (Bruins, FlapAntlers), here’s a last look at the Eastern Conference foxes we’ll miss come April 12. Enjoy them while you can.

Philadelphia Flyers

I WON’T MISS YOU. I don’t care how ginger you are, how curly, how shirtlessly beer pong proficient. Two more games vs Pittsburgh will be plenty, thanks. I don’t think about you when you’re not here.

But if UFA MDZ signs elsewhere, I might be allowed to miss him a little.  We’ll have to see how this skate-gash-to-the-neck (warning: gross photo) heals, because we’re only pretending to believe his “I got bitten by a shark” story for one scar. And we’re still waiting for him to request our help in finding dates.

New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique’s cheekbones lead the team with 40 points this season, and he’s all smiles in this post-game interview from early March.  Maybe he could play baseball in the off-season, after this play.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Ryan “Shameless Charming Kid Prop” Johansen deserved  his own Foxy Friday after the All-Star Game. I mean, the Flying V? What else does a guy have to do? Blame Ekblad.  But someday, Ry – probably right around when you take this girl to the prom.

If you want to speed up the process, stop wearing hats. Because:

Carolina Hurricanes

After they beat the Pens 257-2 last night (close enough), I am not inclined to include the Hurricanes in this post. But Intern Jeff Skinner already volunteered to work all summer, since… well, you know. And I am weak. Plus someone needs to censor what Jeff does while wearing a white t-shirt.

Don’t just give it away, Jeff! You’re not a Kardashian. (Also, he’s scared of rides at the fair. He just wants to wait in line with you and hold your purse. We are raising this guy right.)

Honorable Mention: Jordan Staal. He reminded us yesterday that he still exists/is handsome. Video @penguins.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t think anyone will miss the Leafs this season, especially because our favorite Leaf is Elisha Cuthbert and she’s back on our TV. (You can watch One Big Happy here.) The Leafs are definitely not one big anything, unless it’s a steaming pile of mess, and there is no happy. Even Joffrey Lupul is posting sad lyrics as status updates, like a maudlin 10th grader. [song]

But at least when the season ends, he still looks like this.

HOLD UP. Did you know you can rate Joffrey’s outfits and raise money for charity?! How have we never known this, we’ve just been doing it for free! Our work, going to waste! Visit lupulstyle.com to vote.

Buffalo Sabres

Poor Zach Bogosian, getting traded to Buffalo. Update NY still loves flannel and fried chicken, though.

At least he’s not alone. Marcus Foligno wants to know if, while you were watching his brother captain a squad of drafting drunks at the All-Star Game, you thought about the cold, windswept blue of his eyes [video]:

No? Well, there’s always next year. And alllllllllll summer. Next week we’ll say goodbye to what’s left of the West, then it’s on to the playoffs we go.

The cold kind of always bothered me anyway.

“I was watching the Sabres game last night….”

But it was on the other day and I was enjoying some Upstate NY (represent!) vs. Toronto rivalry.  Didn’t take me long to tell the otherwise empty room we’d found our next Foxy Friday: Marcus Foligno.

I’d like to officially announce a recount of my vote for Hottest NHL Player: Sabres.  Kaleta’s out, Foligno’s in.

If Cosmo can make so many mistakes, surely I can have one.

Marcus is a 21-year old forward playing in (hopefully) his first full season with the Sabres.  He tallied 14 NHL games last season and spent the rest of his time playing for the AHL’s Rochester Americans.  His dad Mike played for the Sabres and Marcus was even born in Buffalo!  All this Upstate NY love.  His brother Nick currently plays for Columbus.

While the NHL was having a lockout, the Amerks were getting all their players to do the Gangnam Style dance.  Sorry Troy Brouwer, you were game but Foligno’s freestyle wave takes the cake:

What’s that? You want to see it again?

Top quality.

Marcus is also a fighter… at least against Toronto.  Last year in his first NHL fight, he beat up Matt Frattin (97.4% win on HockeyFights.com) and this week he took Mark Fraser for an 80.6% win.

Foligno had 10 goals in the first half of the Americans season, looking to outpace his 16 goal total from last season.  We don’t think he’ll complain about not getting to finish the year in Rochester.

He had 6 goals in 14 games with Buffalo last year.  So far none this season, but his 4 shots in the Sabres loss yesterday to Carolina predict that drought won’t last long.  Chances generated by the Foligno-Ennis-Stafford line have been “encouraging” news for Sabres fans [link], despite a lack of secondary scoring in this young season.

According to Twitter, The Source of All Verifiable News, Marcus liked Silver Linings Playbook and watches USA Network’s Suits.  Am I the only person NOT watching Suits? I see more Tweets about that show than about Manti T’eo.

Follow him at @marcusfoligno.

The Sabres are in DC for a game this Sunday.  I wasn’t going to go – the Caps are too painful – but I might have just changed my own mind.

Note: This post is dedicated to our resident Sabres fan, @Tephywashere.

 But when I went to consult my bookie, I mean my oracle- the great swami Osiris Jones, man about town and counselor at law, when he’s not picking NHL play-off games for cat treats, much to my horror this is what I found!

Whut can I saz, I heart king henry

When I told him there’d be no more treats for this treacherous betrayal –

But i'm no foo eder

His brothers are much smarter and helped with the sign making for tomorrows big trek across the border. With Doughty getting so much ice time I am sure to get my money’s worth so look for this sign in the sea of blue and green: 

yes mom, I am 12 years old ...and I can make a sign like one too!

I’m hoping to get some exclusive shots for the blog if Mr. Gates doesn’t make me stay after school for extra credit. I am also hoping for another game like last night!

Wow - for me? Awesome .... A hatrick for you then!

Swami Jones has spoken ... and it shall come to pass that these two hot horses will play each other in the finals ...

or this: 

Pst ...I hear Dawn's picked us for the finals ...
*****************************************************
Of course she did, I'm reliable and I always come through even though she's saying it's her 'cat' and she hates Pittsburgh

Buffalo has been giving Caps fans heartburn for the last few months – I hurt the most for their fans because it was nearly us in their place.  A ton of respect to this team for the way they played in the last half of the season.

Winnipeg, the most excited place in the League, put on a good show and will benefit from realignment this summer.

Tampa Bay… I can’t talk about it.  Not seeing Stamkos and St. Louis in the playoffs after their ferocious post-season performance last year just guts me.  Stamkos for 60 would make it a little better.

Carolina struggled so massively in the first half, I hope they feel some accomplishment in getting where they did.  Intern Jeff Skinner can even have a few days off.

Bless Toronto and Montreal fans – they get angry but they never, ever give up.  Even when their teams don’t win, the passion of their fans make me jealous.

The Islanders have some blinding talent, I think they’re on the upswing.  They’ll have more to cheer about soon.

Bonus points for Sign Guy.

If your team didn’t make the playoffs, we’re sorry.  Enjoy the drama of the post-season without wanting to throw up over every goal, or adopt a team that would be happy to have your support.  Summer’s not that long, and there’s always next year.  Hockey fans never say die.

Western Conference, you’re coming up.

I’ve mentioned this before how apoplectic Mr. Cherrie goes when ever Brett Hull get’s mentioned. Now it went full tilt when this came up and he posted the following photo because he’s now jumped on the twitter bandwagon and has been taunting Buffalo fans about the 1999 Stanley cup game. Now Buffalo fans – discuss.

if you know you cheated, do you rub it in?

There is definitely one less lonely girl if this ain't irony

I want to go to this Halloween party - where ever it is ...

Buffalo rarely gets WUYS love. You are now so on our radar – Other-Brother – Drew, I love you for your  PAUL GAUSTAD 28 cut-off shirt baring mid-driff, your All-for-One song and your new Cat-Scratch work-out move! Buffalo Gals, come out tonight, come out tonight! Buffalo gals, come tonight! And beware of Yakub … !

Maybe it’s even tougher to be a short guy.  But it helps to have a professional-athlete level talent… and this face.

So Derek Roy is 5′ 9″.  Tell us you still care about that. 

I don’t think about Buffalo that much, except last Thanksgiving when I thought, “How are we not there yet?!” and “Why did we go past the exit for Canada?!”  Despite being 8 degrees out in November, I had a great time.  The Sabres arena is really nice and people were super friendly. Still unclear why they sang the Canadian anthem before 2 US teams played – but we just love to hear it.  They do the flag-passing thing that’s so Canadian and they have an awesome 50/50 raffle (that I’ll win next time).

Derek was the Sabres leading scorer through the start of 2010-2011, then suffered a torn quad tendon that sacked his season.  He returned for Game 7 of Round 1, which they lost to Philly.  He’ll be back on the ice in Buffalo this fall.   Roy has been called out in the past as a diver and a whiner (says the Crosby fan in the room), but showed improved maturity in his last full season.  He has 3 years left of a 6-year, $24 million contract.

My exhaustive Google search revealed that Sabre fans say Derek is a really nice guy.  He supports Juvenile Diabetes fundraising and apparently did some really dorky TV law firm commercials that I cannot find.  Oh hockey players and their (complete appalling lack of) acting skills.

This picture is for no reason other than to show he has a friend who likes the Sox.  Must be a good guy. 

sexy time

And last but not least – Ovi caps the magically numerical night off with a non-numercial goal – number 30 for number 8 but has a magical ass dance to win in OT!

Mr. Cherrie and I were THAT couple in our local Pub – you know the ones – I was wearing my Caps shirt and he was wearing his Ryan Miller jersey. But we live in Seattle so the irony was lost on EVERYONE. Oh well. We had our own kiss cam when each team scored a goal. Or should I say, neither one of us are very good winner/losers! It’s one of the few times we have to agree to disagree. Buffalo is his team. Always has been, always will be.



this sometimes happens when we aren't watching hockey!

But this is NOT about the Winter Classic. This is about a SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT made during the Winter Classic. NBC announced HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA. Now, I don’t want to split hairs here or get all semantic in your jockstrap BUT there are several things wrong with this announcement.

NBC programming executive for HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA

Secondly, HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA would technically include Canada and Mexico (South America if I REALLY want to go there). Last time I checked Mexico didn’t have  hockey teams nor do they play hockey on a regular basis. I am not trying to be all PC but if you are stealing something, at least let’s not encompass EVERYTHING! It should be called HOCKEY DAY IN THE U.S.

NBC executives might want to reference this

The Coup-de Grassi in all of  this … not only are they stealing Hockey Day in Canada but they are putting Hockey Day in America against Canada’s Heritage Classic; THEIR version of the outdoor WINTER CLASSIC (which we stole). Wait for it …. ON VERSUS which NBC OWNS! What’s a hockey fan to do? And oh how rude to Canada …!

Holy Sparkly Flying Dancing Unicorn Out My Butt! Does NBC have no Shame? Don’t answer that. While I am normally the first to criticize Canada because I do not quite feel the same why about our neighbor to the north as Pants and Chuck, visiting as often as I do, this is simply unacceptable. It is poorly conceived and makes no sense. It’s bad for Hockey and not a good PR move for the NHL. Why not tie in WITH HOCKEY DAY IN CANADA … oh wait, THAT would make sense.

I can save HOCKEY DAY IN AMERICA!

#1: Jonathan Toews – Winner winner, chicken dinner.  I love JT so much he should just join the damned Penguins already.  Oh, to have been in the meeting where someone said “Toews” and “squats” in the same sentence.  That sound you hear is my dead body hitting the floor.

#2: Ryan Miller – Miller Time!  He makes me want to sing the National Anthem.  The idea of this drill makes my left hand hurt, and I’m pretty sure this is my old neighborhood in Queens.  Bonus points for excellent hair.

#3: Sidney Crosby – Could have been better.  And by ‘better’ I mean ‘lower.’  Still, he is so impressive you don’t need to see anything but his sneakers and his face.

#4: Ovi – This one’s for Dawn.  I can’t rank him above Sid (ever) and I think he could have been wearing a tank top.  Right?  But the man is a beast.  I feel like this rope workout is a favorite Russian pastime.

#5: Mike Cammalleri – I don’t like you.  Stay in this parking lot all season and don’t bother us.  I would have picked someone else for this slot – think of what we’re missing!  Shawn Thornton, Jarome Iginla, hell even a Flyer (but not Pronger).  Eh, 4 out of 5 ain’t bad.