Video: Happy Holidays from Your Washington Capitals 

This year, remember that Christmas isn’t just about onesie pajamas and Joel Ward cracking up from the very first frame.  There is a deeper meaning.  Like when Ovi says, “Hey guys, I need some backup here!” – he is not just talking about musical accompaniment.

Not you, Nicky.  Capitals Hockey Santa has you on his NICE list.

Remember when the Caps were about the Young Guns “Rocking the Red?”

Even if the trade-off is guyliner for tattoos, I must say the boys have grown old(er) quite nicely.

Canuckles is right, I am remiss in not sharing the link to the Canucks ugly Christmas sweater photo.  It’s glorious and features a level of commitment to cardigans heretofore unseen in life.

And by your face, I mean Mike Green’s.

The Capitals Convention was this weekend, so Mike’s friends are along to make your Monday better.  I had a hot date with Deb (@DLF1021) and Pam (@sunnyinNJ) who packed their high-powered cameras.  Every picture here is used with their permission – please don’t steal them!

There was a player ping pong tournament in which Nicky B looked adorable:

He got in trouble for cursing at a later panel.  Piglet dropping f-bombs.

And Troy Brouwer wore these shorts:

Photographing the screen was the only way to get all that, but here’s a money shot from RussianMachineNeverBreaks.com.

The competition was (not at all) serious.

While Deb & Pam watched shorts run around on stage, my randomly selected autograph session ticket ended up being for Mike Green.  I personally vouch for his hair being 1000% and I even managed not to fall off the stage.

Just when I thought the highlight of the day had happened, Mike participated in a cooking competition.  Making grilled cheese sandwiches.

Did I write this script or what?  While the PA played Bieber and Britney, Mike and his fan-assistants won all three rounds of the contest.  He looked pretty pleased with himself and relieved not to have set the place on fire.

All this *and* I can boil water.

While we all have a weakness for sandwiches, the best panel of the day was Locker Room Stories hosted by @wyshynski.

Brooks Laich, Eric Fehr and Aaron Volpatti told lots of redacted stories about pranks and superstitions that had us cracking up and other players’ ears ringing, even on their new teams.

We also decided that Brooks Laich should run for President.  He’s diplomatic and sensible all while being ridiculously charming and having great legs.  It’s a combination so powerful the law should overlook the fact he wasn’t born in the USA.

It wasn’t me.

Deb and Pam capped off their weekend with Caps practice yesterday, which I sadly missed.  Perhaps it was for the best, considering this happened:

Yup, I’ll just stay over.  Behind the glass.  Sitting on my hands.

Welcome back, Monday.

Me, some guy, Josie, some other guys and Rhea

You should all come to the Kaboom Caps playground build next year, but only if you’re prepared to work your butts off.  We had a great time building equipment, even if it took a few tries, and doing manual labor on a gorgeous day.  Team Tiana – obviously we were assigned to a Princess team – included me, Jen (who refers to Nicky B as “Hanson” and then takes off singing) and  the awesome Josie (@jgoggs23) and Rhea (@raedanda).

Sure beats a day at the office.

Mike, Nick and Brooks arrived around 1 PM, did a bunch of interviews and then got right to work.  I don’t know why that impresses me so much because they look capable of lifting my car, but they were shoveling, carrying, raking and sweating with the rest of us.  Nicky accidentally shoveled mulch all over Josie – not exactly what she meant by “getting dirty,” but she’ll take it.

Josie and Nick make a great team.

One of the ladies who lived in the development said, “Hey, hockey player, let me get your autograph!” and he said, “Just the hockey player? That’s her then,” and pointed at me.  It was all chipmunk cheeks and talking about yard work – seriously, he’s Piglet.  He is also STRAPPING: that is the only word for him and must be in all caps at all times.  There should be a few !!!!!! too.

 (In)action shot

Sometime later, Mike grabbed a rake and started helping me.  It wasn’t even Monday!  I said, “Hi Mike,” like I’m a normal human and not the King from The King’s Speech trying to get all those words out at the end with the whole world listening.  Really impressive stuff.

Me and Mike, doing work.

He asked how I was and I replied, “OhmyGodIloveyourhair!” (or something) and we talked about the playground.  I managed not to put the rake through my leg.

Like I said: impressive.

I was almost a chalk outline on this patch of mulch.

He was soft-spoken, really nice and was just so… Mike Green.  Hormone tsunami warning.  Later we carried easels and on the way back,  I asked him for a picture.

If you’re keeping score at home, that’s two coherent conversations.

All roads lead to Mike.

He even smiled!  I’m pretty sure gravity multiplied and a bird dropped straight out of the sky.  He’s tall and healthy and gorgeous and scruffy.  His hair’s all long under that hat, I know it.  Please season, start on time….

Okay, now you just want more pictures:

Passing the weight limit test

Team Bromance

Brooks speaks perfectly about being perfect.

Skinny jeans, construction edition

The playground turned out beautifully, the day was really well-organized and there were lots of snacks.  The kids all got off the school bus to a totally revamped park and they were tiny balls of running and shouting happiness!

 At the end of the day, Rhea won a jersey signed by the whole team:

And Nicky said, “Give me a hug.”  How lucky can one girl be?!

It was great to meet Stacey, Alli (@alliknode) and her son Connor, who knows the way to my heart is through an awesome fauxhawk.  He was the hit of the party!  Check him out in the Caps Playground Build video, along with Rhea and Slapshot dancing.  Also District Sports Page has a ton of photos, including our group shot above and great one of Connor, Mike and Brooks.  Capitals Outsider also features Connor, of course.

Thanks again to Robin (@rockinredbirdie) for sending this in time for us to sign up!  I owe you some beers, girl.

My vacation tan > John's vacation tan

Be jealous.  They were super sweet.  And if iCarly looked more like a Ken doll in real life I think Gator would have hurdled the table.  He is ADORABLE.  Even all caps is not enough to accurately describe him.  Brooks’ eyes are even bluer in real life – not possible, but true.  Makes a girl wish she’d get a flat tire in the rain.

Karl Alzner came with John, because they can’t be apart.  We didn’t get to see him but here’s Exhibit A: “Caps Roomates: Karlzner” video [link].

Then yesterday happened.  Brooks left the game in a bad way with 8 minutes to go in the 2nd period of the 4-1 loss to Boston.  The team hasn’t not commented on his apparent left knee injury because no one can handle anymore bad news around here.  He didn’t practice this morning [link].

The Caps play Florida tomorrow night, and a win would make them #1 in the Southeast.  And it would make us really happy.  So we’re going to be optimistic and Rock the Red and hope there’s anyone left on the ice to Unleash the Fury.

BONUS: If you’re in Chicago (or want to road trip with us), the Chicago Auto Show has Seabrook, Kane, Toews and Stalberg.  Holy Moly. [link]

Gator: “I can’t believe you like Mike Green.  He’s so….”

Pants: “… Mike Green.”

And that is the only explanation, besides falling down and looking so relieved when he scores a goal.  Case in Point:

Caps Breakaway – “Who Drives the Worst Car on the Team?” [link]

Call us old. Get bad picture.

Troy Brouwer says it’s Mike with his white SAAB.  Then he calls Mike a “middle aged man.”

Be adorable. Get adorable picture.

Mike cites his own white SAAB.  Then brings up the scooter.

Meanwhile the winner is really Brooks for some old car he had…

Drive crap car. Still get girls.

that is apparently from between WWII (says Nicky)…

Smile. It distracts people while you make fun of them.

 and Ovi’s grandfather’s birth.  In 1968.  When they made Escalades.

Show only bottom teeth. No one notices gap on the top.

First of all, the warm-up skate.  Mike Green, no helmet, cruising around like the Fresh Prince in Summertime – “Two miles an hour so everybody sees you.”  Yes, he’s fresh from the barber shop and basketball courts in the summer got girls there.  I am telling you this guy does his hair with a mascara wand.

Bonus Round: Troy Brouwer.  Gator might be trading in both halves of Carlzer for the new guy.  Welcome to DC!

And the Hurricanes.  As I Tweeted, Eric Staal in person is a MAJOR AWARD.  Carolina, you are now at the top of the WUYS Road Trip List.

And Intern Jeff Skinner is… such an intern.  He can’t stop moving (not for a second) and just runs around the ice like a puppy who ate a whole birthday cake, grinning from ear to ear.  We might have to start paying him for being so adorbs.

Then the game.  EStaal gave my fantasy team 2 goals and 1 assist, and Intern Jeff Skinner had 3 assists.  Show off!  It wasn’t enough though because every Capital had a point.  Sasha Fierce scored on this sick breakaway pass from iCarly [link]:

Brooks scored on a wrister from Ovi & Nicky [link], and Nicky had a couple of big hits in the game.  Everyone was on the board and I said to Gator, “All we need now is a Mike to score on a pass from Nicky!”  Right?!  This whole “I control the universe” thing is getting a little out of control.  The Canes tied the game with just 1:19 to play and then in overtime, this happened:

From stam-bam-thankyou-maam.tumblr.com

Yes, that’s Mike with the OT winner from Nicky just like I ordered.  And Wideman  for the fantasy team bonus!.  In real life it looked like:

I tackled Gator.  It was pandemonium and Mike was First Star AGAIN.  That’s two games in a row!  GAME OVER, thank you very much.  Mikey post-game interview here.  Post game Pants & Gator:

Tonight, it’s Stammertime.  We won’t even know which way to look.

Buffalo rarely gets WUYS love. You are now so on our radar – Other-Brother – Drew, I love you for your  PAUL GAUSTAD 28 cut-off shirt baring mid-driff, your All-for-One song and your new Cat-Scratch work-out move! Buffalo Gals, come out tonight, come out tonight! Buffalo gals, come tonight! And beware of Yakub … !

Ladies, discuss.

My first thought was, “Ha ha (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh), they said ‘lower body’.” Then (out loud), “Stop, you’re hurting my knees!” and then “Why are you wearing a life preserver?”  It is, of course, a weight vest.  Which I’d never heard of before these workout videos starting popping up.

Since Mikey did a workout vid, Brooks has to do one.  It’s part of the up-all-night girl talk agreements they made during that sleepover, after which Brooks made Mike cereal for breakfast.  Mike was not impressed.

He makes a bid for All Time Squat Champion by doing them with skates on.  I look away in fear.  (My vote: Tazer still wears this crown.)

And in today’s episode of Cassy’s New Job – being this spotter person.  Put on some Pitbull and let’s dance.

OH MY OKAY!!  When you get to 2:16, Brooks wins.  All in, he takes the pot.  And he is not bluffing.  See for yourselves:

I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Thanks Deb!”  Or you will be when you regain consciousness.

I'm sorry ... he's hot. he's perfect. he's a hockey machine. I love him!

I just wanted out of Florida really.

they got caught coming out of Ihop ... nicky's mom is really disappointed.

Carlson and Alzner went to sleep away camp together for some more bonding time in the off-season even though it looked like one may not make the cap deadline. Luckily McPhee came through with the cash at the expense of another player but you can’t come between the bobbsie twins.

iCarly sneaks a cuddle with Ovi - who WOULDN'T!

I may not pump your tires, but I'll change them, ladies!

I’ll be wearing my highest rated googled sweat pants and this on that day and every game there after … GO CAPITALS!

I needed an accessory to go with my sweat pants did I?

Oh and when the Caps aren’t playing and Mr. Cherrie let’s me watch the Penguin’s : I made this:

And yes, I do wear these.

1) Ray Shero, you are a beast.  The Pens have signed Pascal Dupuis for 2 more years at $3 million.  Now he and Sid can stay up talking all night about Sid’s one fight again.

2) Six more years of Brooks Laich!  GMGM and the Caps obviously read our blog and ponied up $27 million to quiet us down.  Cue my awesome in-office version of “Baby, I Laich It.” (have I mentioned I love Pitbull?)

3) MAX TALBOT’s bestie pal Bruno Gervais got a 1-yr deal to backup dance for Stamkos in Tampa Bay.  That team is getting better looking daily.

The Hockey Junkies have a great Date Night feature that once included Mike.  Even they pointed it out: Mike picks you up in this ridiculous white Lamborghini and of course opens the door for you.   Brooks Laich is in fact in the backseat because Mike doesn’t do anything without him. 

Epic Bromance

So, we present the following evidence into consideration for why the Caps must re-sign Brooks, and do it now.

Exhibit A: When Brooks’s hair was long and Mike’s was short…

Good people doing good things.

Exhibit B: Book Club

Mike knows there's a Playboy stuck in there.

Exhibit C: Sleepovers

Guess which one of them snores.

Exhibit D: The Wolfpack

We are the three best friends...

This just scares me more.  Please GMGM, don’t break up the band bromance.

Of all the Caps, you’re the one I feel the least bad about liking.  Well, you and Nicky B (because not liking Nicky is the same as not liking ice cream and puppies).  But still.  This will be severely impacted if the Caps allow you to become an unrestricted free agent, which could happen any minute now.

Brooks has played all but 1 of his career games with Washington, has had three 20-gal seasons, plays on the power play, shorthanded, blocks shots… and made $2.4 million last season and only hit the salary cap for $2.07 million.  He’s the guy: consistent, versatile, not flashy but always shows up to play.

You can track the situation here: isbrookslaichstillacapital.com and expect a very aggro post if that changes.

Happy Wednesday, y’all.

If WUYS ran the world, things like this would happen more often.  With intermissions for push up contests and  someone selling funnel cake.

So. Much. Eyeliner.  I can’t even look a Nicky, he looks like he’s blaming Mike for everything.

Holding on for dear life.

And Nicklas Backstrom, don’t think that Swedish helmet hair excuses you.  You may be Piglet to our Winnie the Pooh, but you gave up that puck like last night was prom and you couldn’t wait to get your dress off.

Sorry boys, but I’m mad.  Against all common sense and loyalty, you made me like you.  With your bromances and your Vespas and your This-or-That videos and talking about Diet Coke all the time.  With your Haagen-Dazs loving coach and your baby goalies.  I went to your games.  I moved to your city for %&@$’s sake!

I love trouble.

All season I’ve felt traitorous.  Blame 24/7.  Crosby’s sending bitchy texts about losing focus and the ratio of Mike Green-to-Kris Letang blog posts.  But it’s okay because you’re not in the Pens division.  And now they’re golfing while you still have a chance.

Don't get mad, get even.

So it’s your turn to do something for me.  I’ve admitted how I feel about you.  This is the part where you tell the world you love me back, even if we’re star-crossed and odds are against us.  You sing “Can’t Keep My Eyes Off of You” to the whole school at lunch.  You give me your Bobby Hull game sweater for Christmas.  We can have one playoff run where anything is possible.  Here’s your one chance, Fancy.  Don’t let me down.

I hung around Verizon for about 30 min yesterday after the Nationals game, deciding if I should spend way too much money on a hockey ticket or save it for Game 5.  If there is a Game 5.  There has to be, right?  Well good thing I didn’t go because I would have cried.

Halfway through the third, Squishy tried to pass through the crease.  The puck hit Mike’s skate like a backboard and went right in behind Neuvy.  It could have happened to anyone.  Lecavalier was right there with a wide open net anyway.  But UGH, Mike looked so sad looking up at the Jumbotron.

Shortly after, Mike took a bad penalty for sticking his elbow in Steven Stamkos’ face.  Someone’s been reading WUYS and got a little jealous over my fangirling Friday night.  Stammer weighs like 180, he wasn’t going to crush anyone into the boards.  But Mikey facewashed him anyway (because I said I like his beard).

Photo from jlrpuck.tumblr.com

I couldn’t watch to power play, too worried that TB would score again.  The Caps did kill it off (thank heaven) and Ovi got a beauty of a Hail Mary to send the game to overtime.  New hope, right?

Nope.  Lecavalier scored in OT to put the Bolts up by two games.  The Caps just can’t get a bounce!  Boucher will keep talking like they are underdogs and fighting an uphill battle and… oh shut up.  If you’re going to play great and convert on every opportunity then at least own it.

Shake it off, Mike.  If you’re sad then Nicky and Brooksy are sad and Sasha’s hair is so 90s that he can only take so much post-Cold War dreariness.  You’ll take the whole bromance down.  So have yourself a group hug, get iCarly to photobomb someone and you’ll feel better.  Work on your already suspicious tan in Florida and just relax.  Wins are coming.  We can feel it.  And some people can STFU, thankyouverymuch.

Plus. I really can’t resist men with power tools.

And sorry ladies, I wouldn’t room with Brooksy, too ODC for me!

Better days ... We need you back!

Mike Green skated with the team in Tampa this morning but still isn’t feeling right. Does Mike Green ever ‘feel right’? OK. Don’t answer that. It’s a good sign that he is on the ice but after practice when interviewers talked to him the below video was captured.

Nicky had to use a fire extinguisher while Brooksy and Ovi held him down. This evidently has been happening frequently. Jane Goodall is being called in for an intervention. Stay tuned.

Combine the power of the most popular Foxy Friday Alexander Ovechkin and the last  Foxy Friday Brooks Laich, add three newbies Jason Arnott (who knew this hottie was wasting away in New Jersey and I predict future Foxy Friday!), meiner lieblinge Herr Sturm and Dennis Wideman and you will get a goal by Brooksy with 47.2 seconds left in the game to tie, send into OT and a stellar fricken old fashion OH-NOVI-DIDN’T GOAL by OVI HIMSELF OLD SCHOOL THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT KIDS!

Whew! Now THAT is why I love the Caps! And watch out East coast! Because GM GM got it done by trade deadline. Hop Mop in Pittsburgh, Ovi just traded you in for Jason Arnott. SORRY! He’s much taller. He doesn’t have the fabulous long hair but he is a better passer and Herr Sturm will give you a run for your money on speed but I might pay to watch the two of you in a backwards skate off! I still love you though. But I love the Caps more. All much more gabillion of them! Thank you GM GM.

I eat men like that for breakfast