For two solid weeks in February, you’re invited to our party.

Okay, it’s probably going to look more like this:

But the guest list is epic.  It’s  comprised of every Olympic snub – and there are some bold-faced names here.  To make sure our party lives up to the Russian’s, we’ve put our guests in charge of bringing a few key ingredients.  Consider it a gift registry without the wedding, and you don’t have to travel 16,000 miles to get to this reception.

Beer: Staal Brothers

It was a long shot for Jordan to make it, but we expected Eric to be defending Canada’s honor.  Since he can’t do it in Russia, he’ll make sure we do it here. They’ll book the jet they chartered home to Thunder Bay for Christmas, load it up and land it close.  Hope you guys like Labatts, Molson and sod because that’s all they’re bringing.

Liquor (except vodka): James Neal

Beer isn’t going to cut it for Nealmobile.  Neither, apparently, are more assists than Rick Nash has points, plus 16 goals, in fewer games.  Or better numbers since 2008.  No doubt James’ recent on-ice immaturity played a part, but growing up will have to come later.  For this we need to break out the (you thought I was going to say ‘big guns,’ right?) good stuff, skip the shot glasses and just go for it.  (He can bring his regular glasses, though.)

Vodka (and lots of it): Alex Semin

I don’t like Sasha – didn’t like him on the Caps, don’t care about him now – but getting left off the roster in your home country is awful.  Especially when he’s got a long history of representing Russia in international events.  Maybe it was due to his concussion earlier this season, but even I’ll drink to the fact it was a shame he got snubbed.  The Ovi & Sasha Reunion Show would’ve been a hit.

Games: Claude Giroux

Gingeroux thought he had this.  Normally the suffering of any Flyer makes me giddy as a Disney villain, but leaving him off Team Canada was just fickle and redheads are always welcome at our shindigs.  Based on his ability to play beer pong and cornhole with two casted, post-surgery wrists, we’re going to bet Colde can find a way to shoot around the pieces of his broken heart.  Heck, we’ll even crank the heat and make it #shirstoptional.

$5 Cover Charge: Intern Jeff Skinner

NHL’s First Star of the Week?  Good for 66.15 points to my fantasy team in just seven days, more than double what anyone else produced?  Hat tricks all over the place are awesome, but he’s still not getting in for free.

Fake IDs: #TeamEbs and #TeamHallsy

We know they’re both of age, but @amandalitty is bouncing and she just wants to know where #TeamHallsy lives, okay?  Plus we are not falling for that matching outfit, ‘No really, I’m Jordan Eberle’ trick that Nugent-Hopkins pulled the last time.

His phone: Jack Johnson

We’re prank calling Crosby all night – which will be 9 hours later there and he’ll probably answer until he blocks us and we leave amazing messages complete with singing.  These are the best kinds of messages.

Darkness: Brent Seabrook

Resident widow’s peak and most likely vampire, Seabs ain’t coming out till the sun goes down.  He slept all day, so he’s in charge of last call.

Selena Gomez CD: Logan Couture

This was his chance, you know?  Everyone watches the Olympics and there was bound to be a hockey clip during ice dancing, which people love once every 4 years.  If Logan could’ve been that highlight then Selena would have seen him and POW.  We’d be hired to promote their starring roles in The Cutting Edge 4: Ice Castles in the Ice coming out next Christmas.

His laptop: Bobby Ryan

Team USA’s biggest snub is in charge of Tweeting, Instagramming and live-blogging this party as it goes down.  Cats are allowed but absolutely nothing silver: no Coors Silver Bullet, no Patron Silver tequila, no games of quarters.

Not this shirt: Joe Thornton

The last time we partied like we were in college… well, we were in college.  We might have overlooked this shirt back then but the era of poor decision-making and Ed Hardy clothing has passed.   For heaven’s sake, there is a design on your jeans!  Give us your wallet, go tell Logan that Selena & Beiber are not back together and we’ll take care of this on Nordstrom.com.

Not any shirt: Victor Hedman

Does this party have a pool?  Victor Hedman is probably tan in February and we need a lifeguard – all these numbers that say Hedman should have been chosen make our heads swim.

Recycling Bags: Marty St. Louis

What the crap, right?  Marty may scowl disapprovingly at the pile of beer cans JStaal has crushed on his forehead, but that’s because he knows when the morning comes (or say, a 38th birthday), he’ll still be here showing these kids how it’s done.  Marty is the Last Dad Standing, so he’s on clean up.

UPDATE – Marshall: Tyler Seguin

How could I forget this?  All puppies are invited but especially if they bring Tyler Seguin.  And Tyler Seguin brings his dance moves.  (Thanks Jess!)

Jerseys, mittens, hats and flags: You 

Of course this hockey party will have hockey, and plenty of it, at all hours of the night and day.  If you saved vacation time, use it now.  While not all of our favorite players made it to Sochi, everyone from home to Russia will be supporting their country loudly and proudly.  And in some cases, other countries near their countries (maybe that’s just me).

If I didn’t pick your snubbed favorite, feel free to invite him.  We welcome anyone who brings snacks or is qualified to drive a Zamboni.

#TeamEbs took over the NHL Instagram account and used the opportunity to make fun of Molly Ringwald.

Our favorite boy band also introduced an act at the Canadian Country Music Awards.  (All the things I love – hockey, Canada, country music – in one place.)

The NHL had their Media Day and Sidney Crosby took his hockey stick to the prom (again).

John Tavares was named the 14th captain of the USS NY Islanders.  Just when you think it can’t get more adorkable, he says “heck” in his speech, wears black shorts with black shoes and just about kills us all. (Press conference |  Interview)

He also did a… workout video.  That should be Rated R.  Hey!  I am not the one who says “explosive hip thrusts” fifty times.

Proof that JT91 is the nicest: Everyone says “Tavahhhres” while John says “TavAIRes.”  I bet he never corrects anyone.

Also, the Hawks went to a Bears game.

Resulting in the best Tweet of the weekend:

(Source: @Drunk_Kane88, thanks to @Brn_idPensGrl for the send.)

The Penguins annual season ticket delivery happened.  This would need to take place with said Penguin being delivered to my house in an ambulance, then my mom could drive him home after the EMTs take me away.

As per usual, Crosby went to zero houses where anyone under 60 lives.  He did sweat his was handsomely through the attention.

What’s cuter than awkward Sid?  GENO!  I have missed you!  He is 12 feet tall and doesn’t brush his hair.  Those are some Russian jeans he’s got on too.  Who cares?!  I want to hug him.

You can see them all at the Pens website, including this moment where Neal signs a baby.

Speaking of Penguins, it’s JStaal’s birthday today.  I miss him.  Let’s all take a moment to wish the Canes a good season, and then eat some cake.

Jordan was our very first Happy Birthday post in 2010, and again in 2011.

This happened two weeks ago and I never even saw it – The Mike Green Clinic on What Shoes to Wear With Golf Shorts:

Source: Twitter

Do you think d-men like Green and Seabs enjoy seeing scorers like Stammer and Bergy in the off-season?  One more from this tournament…

More photos here.

That’ll teach me to go on vacation.  Just wait until the season starts!  I may not survive.  I’m sure there’s more right now but I must work because that Game Center Live bill is coming soon too.

(Who am I kidding?  Start that workout video again.)

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/09/10/summers-almost-gone/feed/ 12 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/06/20/late-night-alumni/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/06/20/late-night-alumni/#comments Thu, 20 Jun 2013 16:50:52 +0000 http://wuys.wpengine.com/?p=16872 Did I say yesterday that Game 4 would go to overtime?  I was really proud of my predicition until I remembered almost every Blackhawks playoff game goes to overtime.  And lately, Brent Seabrook’s been ending them.

Look at Seabs’ hair post-game.  Was there a full moon last night?  He’s about to chew through the table.

Overall, Game 4 was bananas.

Twice goals were scored about 1 minute apart, twice goals were scored about 2 minutes apart.  You couldn’t look away.  If you overestimated the post-goal TV timeout and tried to make dinner, you missed the next one.  Oops.  Saturday night I’m ordering in.

One of those two minute spans was a goal for each of these guys, and let Hawks fans tell you how good that feels:

Toews hasn’t scored in 13 games.  It was just his 2nd goal in 22 playoff games this year.  Now is his slump over?  Can everyone stop talking about it?  Poor guy looked like he was trying to levitate a feather in Charms class but couldn’t get  “Wingardium Leviosa” quite right.

Shutup, Kaner.

I’d get excited that the Hawks cracked Tuuka Rask, who had only given up 5 goals all series, but Crawford got beaten too.  At least it all happened on the same night.  It’s a best of three now, which probably means a lot of late nights.

Stock up on hockey, it’s going fast.

Brent Seabrook

Brent Seabrook, bastion of blueline presence for the Chicago Blackhawks, had some unprecedented struggles at the start of the Hawks’ Western Conference semifinal vs. Detroit.  He was not the only one.  But when Seabs could hardly be there for himself, when he was getting a paltry12 minutes of ice time and Chicago’s future was rim, he was still looking out for his teammates.

In the end, Brent scored the Game 7 OT winner that made a lot of us do this:

When he’s not stopping heartbeats and playoff skids, Seabs is involved in more bromances than even we can handle.  Obviously Duncan Keith is his OTP and the feeling is mutual.  Brent’s younger brother is named Keith, so there is a Keith Seabrook in this world. If that wasn’t meant to be, I don’t understand life.

When Coach Q broke up their on-ice LTR, things got bad.  You won’t see that mistake again.

But don’t forget Toews, who sometimes looks at Seabrook so longingly you know he’s wondering how he ended up with Kane.

Stuck in the middle with you.

And Seabrook once (maybe) blew Kane a kiss on the ice after Patty assisted on a goal.  FLIRT.  Here’s the video evidence, you be the judge.

So what is it about Brent Seabrook that gets everyone all swoony?  If being 6’3″, Canadian and making $7 million this year aren’t enough…

He’s won the Cup.

He adopts rescue dogs, names them Stanley and puts them in the Cup.  Also he wears the same socks as everyone husband/boyfriend/brother.

He has the best widow’s peak this side of The Munsters.

Seriously, his hair.

Skreened.com – Pucks and Pixels Shop

(Brent’s wife Dayna is pregnant – please let the baby be born with his dad’s ‘do.)

He and his hair are part-time models:

He had a cardboard groomsman at his wedding.  (I don’t know the story, but I wish I’d thought of this!)

Speaking his brother, and of their hair… is that Thor?

He even organizes charity events to benefit inner city schools.  Good deeds and bowling and reading?  Date night!

You can spend tomorrow evening with Brent and the Blackhawks as they begin the WCF against LA.  Game time is 5 PM Eastern.  Of course, you’ll have to share date night with the rest of us… but I’m pretty good at bowling.

It’s Conference Final time, and every hockey fan knows it’s often a new guy, a third-liner or someone breaking out of a slump at just the right moment who becomes a playoff hero.

Each of the four teams left owe a great measure of success to such a player. We salute these remaining heroes – and their beards – for what they’ve achieved so far, and for helping their teams’ dreams of bearded glory live on.

Read the rest of our post on Puck Daddy.

Oh my God, it goes on forever!  This is the kind of stuff Gator and I come up with during intermissions at Caps games.  Get it “Wherever it is you’d buy something like this.”

On his way to becoming a creepy mall Santa.

If the Blackhawks wanted us to have a really great Christmas, their bus would break down outside the WUYS office at the very beginning of a snowstorm that trapped us for days.  Obviously we’d be stocked up on Whachamacallits and magically have access to the deli downstairs.  Since the weather is calling for low 50’s, we’ll settle for the CD.

"Hey baby, meet me on the roof."

Don’t forget to check your mail for Christmas cards from the Madhouse this year [all cards here]:

Blackhawks Fitness Testing Video [link]

Blackhawks Stretching & Weights Routine[link]

Of course JT isn’t the only one working hard.  Hammer can be my Field Day partner – check out that one-legged long jump distance.  Duncan Keith’s quad is the size of my waist:

Seabrook’s hair is a World Wonder:

And Kaner owns this balance measure… he once used it as a sobriety test.

We see you, lady at the table. Eyes on his feet!

The Hawks kick off the season tonight in Dallas.  The game is on NHL Center Ice, so if you want to come over just bring pizza.

Patrick is *really* excited because him mom got him a new Huffy bike and the double chocolate peanut butter ice cream cake that all the cool kids had last year.  Duncan is psyched because he stole that kid’s cake and just ate the last piece he had in the shoebox under his bed.  Now he’s coming for this cake.

Sharp is mentally calculating the value of the presents vs. the cost of the party and creating a Profits & Loss sheet.  He’ll then determine the compounding interest forecast for investing in Patrick’s 11th birthday party.  Economic indicators are not good.

Jonathan is figuring out how to get each of Patrick’s sisters alone in the treehouse and which one is mostly likely to believe he’s a doctor.
He’d better hurry, because Brent is planning to set that treehouse on fire.

In a related story, it wasn’t us.

We’re not going to post photos of Jon’s date – let’s not be those girls.  Plus Intern Jeff Skinner reads this blog and we’re not sure he can handle it.  You can Google her if you like.  Suffice to say that Kaner is *really* jealous somewhere in Upstate NY.

What we will post is the fantastic work of Roving Reporter Veronica from the 2011 Blackhawks Convention.

Kaner rocking the tan and that salmon shirt.

Mike Green is jealous of this.

My dentist is jealous.

Veronica obviously had a great time.  She says the Hawks Convention is a must for any fan… which clearly means us.  WUYS road trip next year.  And that Chicago pizza… we may never leave.  Veronica lives in Raleigh and has ‘Canes season tickets, so she’ll also be keeping an eye on Intern Jeff Skinner for us.  Don’t let him drink the Mexicola, it gives him the giggles.

And now, for the Best Photo Award.  How could you not want this face to lead you to victory?