The Caps and Islanders hosted casino nights last night.  The events benefit wonderful charities, but “Crush on Mike Green” is not a deductible category on my taxes.  At least not when “Married, Filing Jointly.”  Perhaps in Canada you can claim “Pretending I Can Count While John Tavares Deals Blackjack.”

I hope John’s a slow dealer, because hockey + cocktails is already more math than I can handle.  Read about the event here and see more photos here.  If there’s video later, I’ll post it.

Unrelated to casino night but very related to things we love, here’s the Winnipeg Sun story about John sending a signed jersey to an 11-year old Isles fan who was bullied at a Winnipeg Jets game.  Perfect guy is perfect.

The Caps don’t have a story or photos up yet.  They must’ve partied harder and the web team is sleeping it off.  Their Instagram managed a few photos:

How many drinks before I say, “Mike Green, your hair is too short!”?

But luckily the DC news was up early – Fox 5 TV – Caps Casino Night.

The event featured Ovi’s blue jacket:

Underage gamblers:

And the Brouwer Rangers modifying their suits into Power Tuxes.  Helmets and all.  No offense NYI, but this looks more like our kind of party.

Hoping for a more in-depth analysis of Mike Green’s hair in tonight’s broadcast.

Source: Twitter

There is a space for volunteers.  AND IT IS BLANK.

Alas, the enterprise of TSN is not to be underestimated.  They were live on the scene with camera equipment, like any good reality-based programming would be.  To honor their commitment, we present Team Canada hopefuls in…

If you don’t watch The Bachelorette… well neither do I.  But I enjoy the scathing wit and hilarious nicknames of BachCap on lostangelesblog.com.  In that spirit, we bring you this season’s contestants [full video].  At first there are so many, you can only categorize them as:

The Hot One

Too obvious?  No.  One guy is always really, really ridiculously good looking.  Out of the girl’s league.  Out of everyone’s league.  You kind of hate him until you find out he rescues puppies and shovels snow for old ladies and reads iambic pentameter to goldfish.  Then you just wonder what on Earth kind of moisturizer Sidney Crosby uses.

The Married Guy

One contestant always looks like a fake.  Like he told his wife he’d be in Shanghai on business for two weeks and will only confess/divorce to being on The Bachelorette if he doesn’t get kicked off in the first episode.  To cement the role, Duncan Keith obviously has a newborn child at home.

The Confidence Guy

We don’t mean “con man” in this sense, we mean the guy who walks into a room and instantly makes everyone feel like they skipped a shower and borrowed Mom’s favorite cat sweatshirt on laundry day.  You look at this guy and wonder why you even try.  Then Confidence Guy brings you a beer, asks about your favorite book and the entire TV audience is in love with Steven Stamkos before the Bachelorette even comes down the stairs.

The Kid

The Bachelorette’s first words will be, “He’s too young for me.”  Then she’ll gush – and we mean GUSH – about how energetic, enthusiastic and positive he is, how he has less baggage and his whole outlook is rosy.  Because this chick didn’t become the Bachelorette by having a series of great relationships.  Basically the last Bachelor liked her soooooooo much that he almost just barely didn’t ask some other girl to marry him.  After that, Taylor Hall looks like freshly fallen snow.  In a Lululemon pullover.

The Sleeper

He’s cute.  He’s nice.  There’s an embarrassing on camera moment, during a pontoon boat-and-private island luau group date where she forgets his name.  He’s completely adequate in every unchallenging way, which is why suddenly there are only three roses left and this guy’s still in the room.  The he busts out his guitar for an a capella, “You don’t know you’re beautiful… That’s What Makes You Beautiful!” and BAM.  The Hot Guy’s crying the back of a limo and Corey Crawford’s on the cover of People Magazine.

The Hair

Any date involving motorcycle rides, surfing or the general blowing of a fair breeze and the camera will zoom in for a slow motion hair flip that no girl could pull of so coquettishly.  You may not remember Braden’s name, but calling him The Dread Pirate Roberts will be the highlight of your Monday night.

The Freshman

Not to be mistaken for The Kid, The Freshman is old enough to play the game.  In fact he memorized the rule book, the strategy guide, the bylaws and did ALL the homework before he was dressed a half an hour early for the limo pickup.  He’s more ready for this than the Bachelorette herself.  Just wait till the Hometown date – every mom in TV land has been screaming for the Bachelorette to pick John Tavares.

The Quiet One

A lot of guys make a lot of noise.  The Quiet One waits it out, a bashful smile here and there, and a smart Bachelorette takes the bait.  When this guy gets the first one-on-one date, none of the other contestants can even remember what Patrice looks like.  But we know.

The Bad Boy

Let’s be honest, Bachelorette.  James Neal is not going to call you back.  John Tavares will call you 57 times before James even reads the text you sent.  You’ll only answer John’s call in case that’s the very moment James calls and gets voicemail.  What if he doesn’t leave a message?  Will your phone show a missed call?  James is the first guy the Bachelorette is making out with – and no one knows that better than he does.

There’s SO much more from camp already:

• Hockey Canada Press Conference video – Sid, Shea Weber, Roberto Luongo, Bergeron, Rick Nash at the 39 minute mark
• Team Canada ball hockey scrimmage with photo gallery.
• This picture of John Tavares.
• All in their uniforms, on their way to school work.
• Everybody in shorts.  I mean everybody.  (More contestants to be introduced as The Bachelorette continues.)
• Crosby at golf.  Full length.  Oh, Stammer‘s there too.
• We are still #TeamEbs.

I could go on all day.  Thanks to Lindsay and Alison for 100% legwork on these photos.  There will be new guys, nicknames and a few will even be voted off, but you must wait until the next episode of The Bachelorette.

So of course we were in the front row.

Rockin’ the Red with Rae and Pam

For this…

BAM!  No beard.  Hallelujah and also merci.  I’ll give you the hair, Greener, if you save the beard for the playoffs.

BTdubs, these were not taken with a zoom.  Where’s Harry Potter when you need him to “accidentally” make some glass disappear?

Then we could have taken care of this Caps second biggest grooming issue:

“You don’t like my flow?”

Other highlights included Nicky getting pissed because you said he looked like a woman in his roster photo:

But he had the fair Swedish curls going, so you took it all back.

Meet our new favorite Capital, Joey Crabb.  It’s a little unfair how much comic relief this team has.

Ovi told Elliot that his all-time favorite NHL player is Dale Hunter.  Oooh, burn.

Don’t get all funny and witty now, Alex.  I still don’t like you.

It was nice to see the familiar face of Tom Poti, BU alum and Caps defenseman who hasn’t played in two calendar years due to various injuries.  He may be in the lineup for Saturday’s season opener.

Neuvy and Holtby, our illustrious goaltending duo (Rae loves goalies):

At the end of the practice a few players answered fan questions.  Someone asked Matt Hendricks for his favorite Gangnam Style dance move – but Fehr claimed he didn’t know it.  IMPOSSIBLE, I say.

Luckily Troy Brouwer bailed him out:

We died.  The crowd died.  Completely overloaded with traffic, Twitter briefly changed it’s “overloaded” screen to a picture to that lasso move instead of the birds lifting a whale. Here’s the video.  TB20 really went for it, loved it long time, and will now be invited to every wedding in DC this year.

Here’s our view, complete with Rae and I screaming:

What do you think, Mike?

Amen, buddy.  Overall, a great night.  I couldn’t be more excited for hockey.

Cue Braden Holtby.

It's a sin to put a mask over that face.

Holtby has been the backup-backup goaltender this season, starting six games at the NHL level.  He will start Saturday against the Caps potential first-round foe, the Rangers.  He’s just 22 years old, from Lloydminster, Saskatchewan.  Imagine having to write that return address on a letter?  Lloydminster actually straddles the Alberta/Saskatchewan border, but Braden’s listed as being from Saskatchewan (because it’s fun to say).

Braden owns a Detroit Tigers hat (he wore it at the Caps convention) and that makes Gator cheer extra loud everytime he takes the ice.  We are *really* pulling for Holts to rock in the playoffs.  Not just for the wins, but because we love a good story!  (And winning.)

Braden has sported some pretty amazing facial hair in the past, and can grow a Letang-style scuff in about an hour.  Here’s hoping that a full, burly playoff beard doesn’t interfere with his mask because we’d love to see it.  Give Alzer a run for his money, eh?

Neuvy had to shade his eyes from this grooming choice.

Braden got the win last night, and was so aw-shucks in the post-game that you might have to hug something. [link]

Not to get you all happy then break your hearts, but Holtby is engaged and his fiancee is pregnant.  Hockey babies!  They will undoubtedly inherit their dad’s really great hair.  The Caps’ Keith Aucoin just named his baby Brayden… what’s Holts going to do?

He’s going to win first, then figure it out.  Then get a big contract for the Show and bring this face to the Phone Booth every game next season.

Wear the hat! More winning!

Follow Braden on Twitter – @Holts170.

Cap's new go-to guy?

 Holtby’s been solid. I’m just scared because neither Neuvy nor Holtby really have what it takes for play-off contention. However, no one does until they go there, so hold on to your diapies guys, it’s gonna be one hell of a ride!

FIRST STAR – BRADEN HOLTBY, G, WASHINGTON CAPITALS

Holtby posted a 4-0-0 record, 1.05 goals-against average, .965 save percentage and one shutout as the Capitals (40-20-10, 90 points) moved into second place in the Eastern Conference. Holtby stopped 110 of 114 shots last week, beginning with a 20-save performance in a 2-1 victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning Mar. 7. He recorded 22 saves in notching his first career shutout, backstopping Washington to a 5-0 win over the Edmonton Oilers Mar. 9 and stopped 40 shots as the Capitals defeated the Carolina Hurricanes 2-1 on Mar. 11. Holtby finished the week by recording 27 saves as Washington defeated the Chicago Blackhawks 4-3 in overtime, Mar. 13. The 21-year-old native of Lloydminster, Saskatchewan has appeared in 12 games for Washington, posting a record of 8-2-2 with a 1.95 goals-against average, .931 save percentage and one shutout. (courtesy of the NHL.COM)