Plans are already made for pajamas (er, Chewbacca onesie), takeout and couch recuperation on Friday to watch the big game! Chuck got a ticket – woohoo! – so look for her on TV.

Sharp eye of the Fashion Police

Maybe she should borrow my onesie.

Who’s scruffy looking?

I look way more excited than this guy in my outfit, but faced the same problem: what kind of shoes go with a Chewbacca suit?

Obviously.

And now, we turn to Elodie…

With weeks to go until New Year’s Day and its symbolic game, this year’s Road to the NHL Winter Classic is back on EPIX, this time trying to give us a glimpse of the lives of the Montreal Canadiens and the Boston Bruins.

If you don’t know, this is a rivalry for the ages. One of – if not the – most bitter in the NHL. To this day, these teams have faced each other more than any other two teams in the league, and they simply really, really dislike each other.

The kids who spawned a thousand memes.

Let me be honest – I’m a Bruins fan, inclined to turn a side-eye to every bit of the show that is about the Habs. Yet even I have to admit that if there’s one thing this first episode of Road the the NHL Winter Classic did well, it was keeping the focus on a player that it is almost impossible to hate: PK Subban.

Related: PK as Don Cherry makes Strombo pee his pants. [Video]

There’s a beautiful moment, in the opening for the Habs’ section of the show, where PK putting on the most outrageous red fur coat. My friends and I couldn’t help but wonder, does he dress like that all the time, or is it just for the cameras? We could completely believe he wears this thing out every day.

Echoes of his NHL Awards suit

Turns out, the coat is for the cameras, but his teammates fall for the joke and their reactions are glorious.

There’s also this pretty interesting bit where PK lets us in into one of his “hobbies”: suit designing. He says it himself, he likes to look good. And he does. Can’t wait to see what he pulls out for the Winter Classic.

Okay, enough Habs. None of this compares to the delightful moments with the Bruins we get to see! From Zdeno Chara walking around Boston, going to his favorite barber (the same one that shaved his playoff beard after winning the Cup, the one Chara brought the Cup to) and stopping by a youth hockey team from Halifax for pictures and autographs, to Brad Marchand soulfully gazing out of his bedroom window before putting on a (very sharp) suit, it’s all pretty intimate.

[Editors note: You know I didn’t write that about Marchand! *P]

But no moment is more intimate that the few minutes we get with Patrice Bergeron. Bergy, flawless, perfect Patrice, is famously known his discretion.  Never would I have expected to see 8-week old baby Zack featured on the show. And yet, this happened…

:: synchronized swoon ::

So ovaries everywhere imploded in hushed whimpers. The show also featured Stephanie Bergeron gushing about how good a father Patrice is, and I had to rewind and rewatch a couple of times, making pained noises throughout the whole thing.

The preview for the upcoming episodes also seem to show that we’ll be introduced to Tuukka Rask’s tiny blonde Finnish baby, which is something that nobody expected either, because these guys, they don’t share.

Cindy Lou Tuuk? Cindy Tuu Who? I can’t make this joke work.

Other awww-inducing moments of note: Patches and his tiny child playing about in the bowels of the Bell Center:

Yankees hat. This kid is good.

Mainly, my brain short-circuited post-Bergy and I retained very little of everything else. To be fair, as first episodes go, this one was heavy on exposition. Hopefully they’ll find the hooks they had least year, like Latta and Wilson’s bromance, or a bevvy of family holiday skates to pack it all up with cuteness and babies everywhere. I am eagerly awaiting more baby Bergy, and Rask, and the exceptionally cute baby Krejci:

From the lovely Mrs. Krejci – @naomikrejci

This show has always been at its best when there’s more than a rivalry narrative to hang onto, so I’ll look forward to next week’s show. The Bruins played some good games (sayonara, Penguins!) while Episode 2 was filming. I, for one, will be satisfied with babies everywhere, but I may be easy to please.

[Thanks, Elodie! See you next week. *P]

This year, it’s the Habs vs. the Bruins at Foxboro Stadium in Boston on January 1. EPIX once again has cameras embedded with each team to bring you their 4-part behind the scenes series “Road to the NHL Winter Classic.”

The show premieres tonight at 10/9 Central. You can watch it LIVE and FREE on EPIX.com. (I wonder if they got any footage of that “Frozen” karaoke video being recorded… or if we’ve really seen all we need.)

We are pretty excited – as is Puck Daddy – because, let’s face it, we are hoping for The PK Subban Show. Even Chuck, Bruins fan that she is, can’t say no to the PK.

The Penguins are in Boston tonight for a Wednesday Night Rivalry game, airing on NBC Sports. The “Road to the Winter Classic” episode stays available online after it’s 10 PM airtime, so you can catch it after the game.

Our favorite hangover remedy

Last year I had the Caps calendar, and it could be a front runner again this year.  Or I’ll get them all and do a wall display (and no work)!

Remember when Alzer’s dogs ate his whole apartment?

You need a close up, I know.

I will not fancat.

What’s more perfect: tag team puppy kisses or Mike Green’s hair?  Be honest – it’s the hair. Sorry puppies! You are a close second. Meanwhile that cat is praying for strength.

Not to be missed: Tom Wilson’s hair and general Tom Wilson-ness.

Loves long walks in the park.

The dog’s saying, “Are you seeing this?  Is everyone looking?  His hand is on my knee.  I’m gonna faint.”

If only two puppies were enough to occupy John Carlson while someone runs by with a Flowbee.  Perhaps a quick trip to the groomer?

Chuck, I’ve been waiting for you all night by this fence.

The best part: today is Giving Tuesday, and 100% of proceeds from the Caps calendar go to Homeward Trails Animal Rescue!  Get yours here for $20, or tell me and I’ll buy you one at the game tonight.

The Bruins also know where it’s at, releasing their 2015 Pucks & Pups Calendar.  This behind-the-scenes video is heavy on the cute.

I hate being a foregone conclusion.

If I have one objection, it’s that the Bruins calendar does not appear to feature a single Boston Terrier.  None.  The cutest dog on Earth shares your city’s namesake (and that of it’s greatest educational institution), but you’re saying none of your players want to hug one?  Inconceivable.

Chuck, make a call.

I’m going to call this puppy “Mullett.”

The Bruins calendar benefits a host of charities, and you can get it for $20 at shop.NHL.com.

It’s that special time of the year again when all of our favorite hockey players dress up in hilarious and sometimes ridiculously tiny, costumes, for our entertainment.  Most of the time, it is to bring joy and smiles to sick kids.  But sometimes it is strictly for our enjoyment.

Especially these two…

Dallas Stars (Tyler Segiun, Jamie Benn, Cody Eakin, Brenden Dillon)

TURTLE POWER!

TURTLE POWER!  Seguin as Raphael? Benn as Leonardo?  If you know anything about TMNT, you know how supremely perfect this is.

Our love for Beguin is real and true, but this year’s Candy Bowl goes to Matt Fraser, Dougie Hamilton, Kevan Miller, Matt Bartkowski, Torey Krug, and Seth “Stewie” Griffith from the Boston Bruins.

Couple of years ago, we had Zee Bunny. This year, we get Dougi-Elsa.

We applaud these men for completely letting go of their ego (and their dignity) to don these costumes to cheer up a bunch of sick kids.

Krug totally loves warms hugs. Griffith’s Hans wig gives new meaning to the term hockey hair. And Matt Fraser, bless his heart) looks like a ‘roided out Pippi Longstocking.

But let’s be honest – Matt Bartkowski is everything.  If there was anyone on the Bruins roster that could pull off that look, it was Bart.  The Sven the Reindeer costume look absolutely perfect on him.  When he come to the WUYS Fancy Dress Party as my date, I want him to wear that.

I love it and I love him. Be my boyfriend.

“Who’s the funky looking donkey over there?” “Oh that’s Sven.”

I’m sure the Bruins weren’t the only team to dress up and have a good time, but boy, did they do it with some flair.

When I fall asleep while Roenick or Milbury is on TV.

Canadiens take series lead over Bruins 2-1

I watched the first period of this game – long enough to see PK Subban get a minor for “roughing” Rielly Smith.  It should have been 1 minute for roughing Smith + 1 minute for roughing Thomas Vanek.  Or 2 minutes for missing.

So many butt-related jokes.

Then he scored on a breakaway coming out of the penalty box.  So perhaps he meant to miss his check, get the minor and end up in the right place at the right time?  Sounds legit.

The Bruins came roaring back, as they are wont to do, but it was too late.  3-2 until the last moment when Lars Eller made it 4-2.  My favorite stat about this game is Shawn Thornton had five hits in 7:42 of ice time.

Unrelated photo of Bergy to make Chuck feel better.

Wild score 4G on 8 shots in the third; trail Blackhawks in series 2-1

Someone who watched this game should write the recap because it sounds bonkers.  Chicago had just 19 shots in the game, Minnesota only 18.  That’s not unusual for the Wild, who ranked 29th in shots-for during the regular season.  (“Shots for” = favorite hockey stat name.)  But last night, eight of the Wild’s shots came in the 3rd and they scored four goals.  On eight shots.  One was an EN, but still!  They had 32 shots/2G in Game 1 and 19 shots/1G in Game 2.  This breakout had to feel great and restore serious confidence.

We share in your surprise.

Or not, because it’s the Blachawks.

Unrelated Kaner smile no one can resist.

Penguins/Rangers Game 4 is the only show tonight.  You can find me on the floor in front of my TV with plenty of chicken mushroom farro risotto, watching the beards.

Goals make your beards grow faster.

Penguins and Rangers series tied 1-1

The Pens had a shaky first period Friday night and got themselves down 2-0 like they think every game needs to be crazy a la Round 1.  No thank you – because it doesn’t always work.  The Rangers won in OT.  Just as well I was on a Twitter ban and only talking to Alison.

Sad Brad scored on his birthday. I hope his ice cream cake melted.

Last night, I was at a dinner and trying not to check the score.  Go home and watch the whole game, right?  Ha!  Zero will power.  I did pass my phone around the table for independent verification of the score, then had more celebratory sangria.  I watched the game afterward – fast-forwarding through Pens’ penalties, which was pretty much the entire first period.  Nisky for roughing – in hindsight, I can love that.

Incoming Geno hug

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Still no goals for Crosby or Nash.  (See what I did there? I almost hope you don’t, it’s so bad.)  At this rate, they’ll find that missing plane before one of these guys scores.

Want to see my Art Ross Trophy?

Blackhawks lead Wild in series 2-0

Friday night’s game was tied 2-2 until Patrick Kane decided it was time for this goal:

If this blog had audio, I’d whistle.  That’s so good it’s worth another goal, which Kaner scored 8+ minutes later to put the Hawks up 4-2 and shut the door (won 5-2 on an EN).  Sunday afternoon, playoff hero Bryan Bickell extended his point streak to five games with 1G and 2A.  Remember how many points he had last year?  17 (9G, 9A) in 23 games.  He’s got eight points in eight games so far this post-season.

Must. Have. Points.

Patrick Sharp didn’t have any points in the game (he had 1A on Friday), but he wore these shorts and we think that counts for something.

Somewhere Toews can’t find his shorts.

Bruins and Canadiens tied 1-1

After PK Subban’s double-OT winner last week, the Habs were up one game to none.

BeardWatch

Remember Boston lost the first game of the last series too, then adjusted and won four straight.  They got back on that track with a come-from-behind 5-3 victory Saturday, which I watched from the elliptical runner at the gym.  I can go a lot of miles fueled by my dislike for Brad Marchand.  That said, four unanswered goals in the third period (one EN) made the B’s look more dominant that the scoreboard showed.

“Ha, little man.”

Kings take first game, lead Ducks 1-0

I wish this series could be weekends-only, so I could stay up for every game.  It was worth the late night Saturday – I caught just the 3rd and OT – to see Marion Gaborik tie the game with seven seconds left.

God, that is SO exciting when it’s a) your team or b) you don’t care who wins!  Gaborik scored again in OT.  I still have the Ducks taking this series, but the Kings are going to make me look stupid every time I don’t pick them.

Five in a row, and counting.

Tonight the Penguins and Rangers are back at it, this time in NYC, and I will be glued to the TV and (trying to stay) signed out of Twitter.   Late night it’s Game 2 of Kings vs. Ducks.  It promises to be really exciting and also excellent for your productivity at work tomorrow.

Must… watch… hockey…

The networks have all kinds of on-hiatus hockey players pitching in as commentators during these playoffs.  Let us make the offer official: Alex Pietrangelo, you and your currently unemployed hair are welcome here anytime.

This look will be missed.

I think we could even use a pool man now that the Stars are available.  We don’t have a pool, but…

Leave Hartnell and the socks at home.

Ducks eliminate Stars: 3-2

This one hurt.  We were all falling a little in love with Dallas, or at least their Twitter account.  Let’s hope that doesn’t get a summer vacation.

Like so many game in this post-season, the Stars had this one and they blew it.  The Ducks scored two goals in the last 2:10 to tie the game, then won it shortly into overtime.  It’s all summed by this beard and the scoreboard which I’ve helpfully left visible for anyone who likes to wallow in misery.

99% beard, 1% brows

It’s hard for me to understand the rage Corey Perry causes people without watching him in a long series against a single team.  Now I really get why he’s good at it and why other fans hate him.  Round 2 will be an in-state series vs. the Kings or Sharks.

We’ll never be far from an In-N-Out Burger!

Blackhawks eliminate Blues: 4-2

Sorry Blues.  (I’m not, not at all.)  After being up 2-0 in the series, they dropped four in a row to the defending Champs and are on their way to summer.  Here’s what you need to know about Chicago going into Round 2.  Patrick Kane can score in OT [video].  Jonathan Toews can score in OT on a breakaway:

gif by @cjzero

And Patrick Sharp can score on a breakaway while someone puts their stick blade in his perfect face:

gif by sportsblogging.tumblr.com

Bruins eliminate Red Wings: 4-1

Oh happy Chuck.  How nice it must be to root for a team withs so few weaknesses and also the ability to fix them.  In Game 1, the Bruins played with all the speed of Red Sox’s David Ortiz.  (Non-baseball fans, this is sarcasm.  The man cannot run.)  Starting in Game 2, they went faster… and it worked.  They will face the Canadiens for the 257th time in NHL playoff history.  Everyone hates each other, prepare to die.

Video: Bergy has some sleepy-voiced things to say.

Thus the bracket has been bracketed three more times.  For the record, so far I’ve been right 100% of the time.  Chuck is currently at 75% since she didn’t pick the Canadiens.  She would never pick those jerks.

For those of us with teams still battling to the pain:

Rangers lead Flyers: 3-2

The Flyers figured how to win once at MSG and they’ll need to do it again to survive this series.  But first, they have to win Tuesday night at home.  They held the NYR to only 22 shots Sunday, but the Rangers capitalized on what few chances their persistence and speed (and Flyer mistakes) could generate.

While I want both teams gone, is there anyway they could just leave the beard?

Sunday post-game interview: Gingertime Sadness

Penguins take series lead over Blue Jackets: 3-2

I ditched a bachelorette party mid-bar crawl to catch the end of this.  Of course I refused to leave even after Letang’s EN goal just in case.  Kunitz had 1G, 1A plus 7 SOG and 6 hits.  Throw that body around, Sock Monkey!  Fleury bounced back (See? SEEEEEE???) stopping 23 of 24, while the Pengins had a whopping 50 shots.  Game 6 Monday night, I’ll be on the floor of my living room in a fort made of pizza boxes.

Dog days are over?

Kings stay alive again, still trail Sharks: 3-2

Well what do you know, the Kings have staved off elimination twice now.  The first four games of the series averaged 7.75 goals per game.  Jonathan Quick gave up 16G in that stretch, but found his mojo Saturday and the Kings won 3-0 in an orderly fashion.  Can they do it again Monday night or will the Kings leave LA’s perpetual summer for regular old summer somewhere else?

Pelvic thrust.

Avalanche take lead over Wild, Errrrrrybody Mad: 3-2

Remember me raging about the disallowed Tampa Bay goal back a ways?  Well the Wild had plenty to say about this oh-so-close, offsides-or-on moment with less than 1:30 to go in Game 5.  There was no call on the play, so of course the Avs scored and forced overtime.

Image by @johncanref

Offside say the Wild media | Inconclusive say the Avs media

If the Wild had won, we wouldn’t still be talking about this.  Too bad the Avs have TriWizard Tournament hopeful Nathan MacKinnon with his 2nd goal (and League-leading 10th point) of the playoffs.

Monday night Colorado will have the chance to reach Round 2 for the first time in 6 years.  Guess who else they’ll very likely have?

Hey girl.

Duchene’s go/no-go will be announced after the morning skate.  We say go.

What this all means is that three more bracket spots could be locked Monday night, or any of three series could need a Game 7.  I could need blood pressure medication.  Just another day in the playoffs.  Stay ready.

Canadiens: 4; Lightning: 3 [Habs win series 4-0]

It looked like OT until Max Pacioretty, who I still have trouble remembering is American, scored his first ever playoff goal with 43 seconds left in the third.

And the crowd goes wild.  Literally.  I don’t care for/about the Habs but a moment like that melts my heart.  Much has been made of the Habs being the only Canadian team in the post-season, and they haven’t advanced past the first round since 2010. They become 2014’s first playoff bracket move:

Farewell to the Bolts, whose beards we will not get to enjoy.  We’ll give Stamkos a week to mope then we expect daily Gary Roberts workout videos.

You’re welcome.

So Lightning fans, who will you root for now?

Bruins: 3; Detroit: 0 [Bruins lead series 2-1]

The Canadiens will await the winner of this series, which is getting fiesty slimy.  In the grand Detroit tradition of throwing octopi on the ice, a fan tossed one during the anthem.  Chances are it wasn’t Justin Verlander because it came up short, sliding gently into Tuukka Rask’s skate like it was afraid of becoming sushi.  Tuukka gave it a well-deserved look of disgust and proceeded to beat the Red Wings in reply.

Gif by Twitter/@PeteBlackburn

Brad Marchand barely dodged a potentially terrible knee-on-knee hit from Brendan Smith – then went down and grabbed the wrong leg.  I have to mention it, you know that about me.  Video/Gif/weaksauce explanation at CBS Sports.  Better examination on Days of Y’Orr, including a Marchand gif that makes me want to stab myself in the face.

Rangers: 4; Flyers: 1 [NYR lead series 2-1]

This game can be summed up in two images:

I’m still rooting for everyone to lose but even I had a little bit of fun at the end there.

Sharks: 4; Kings: 3 [Sharks lead series 3-0]

It took OT and by far the Kings’ best result in this series, but in the end it was still the Sharks and their weird beard dreams taking a chokehold lead on this series.  BU’s Matt Nieto scored his first playoff goal last night – yay for days!  The Kings will try to stay alive Thursday night.

HNIC Bio: Matt Nieto

Read this adorable Hertl/Nieto rookie BFF story from the SJ Mercury News.  They better have those Minions in the locker room.

For tonight…

Pens and Blue Jackets are up first thing evening, as if anyone has recovered from Saturday night.  The Stars and Ducks are on early (8PM ET), so you can see Jamie Benn’s face/Jordie Benn’s beard and if they’re able to even that series.  The Blackhawks will try to take two of two at home from St. Louis in the not-quite-so late game (9:30 PM ET).

These little recaps are really helping make sure I have at least looked at every playoff game.  That said, they are 3-minute looks.  If I miss something good, let me know!  I can’t be everywhere and Mr. Pants is already really tired of the playoffs.

The Bear in the Gang – A Christmas Spectacular

In this Bear and the Gang Christmas Spectacular, the team is all gathered in a cozy winter cabin where holiday hijinks ensue.

There are so many things that make me happy about this video, besides the high-cheese log factor and tin-canned laugh track.

This picture…I can’t.

“You mad, tree?”

Bergeron flashing those pearly whites before going of into the meadows to put that weedwacker to work.

Ricola?

Pocket-sized Lumberjack Torey Krug.  I hope you’re watching this, Dan Bylsma. Just give this kid a spot on Team USA already!

“It’s going down. I’m yelling TIMBER. You betta move. You betta dance!”

Dougie Hamilton as Reindeer #9.  You know Bartkowski made him wear this.  Speaking of..where is Barty in this video?  Seems like this would something right up his alley.

“Out of all the reindeer, you know you’re the mastermind.”

The Bear getting friendly with Iggy.  To be fair, if Iggy was sitting on my lap, I wouldn’t let go either.

“I’m going to love him and hug him and squeeze him!”

Carl Soderberg looking uber Swedish and confused.  Just through it in a gift bag with some tissue paper and call it a day.

Gift-wrapping? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Also confused – Loui Eriksson, lost in the snow.  Granted this video was shot before he was concussed by Brooks Orpik, but still…it’s kinda funny?  No?  Too soon?

I can never, EVER unsee this.

Ever.

The faux-show promises to be pretty delightful and awkward – which is pretty much the mantra of this blog.

That mess really did happen.  I’m disgusted in both teams because they are better than that. They have really made me mad.  Like flames on the side of my face mad.

These are undoubtable the best teams in the East and here they are playing bush league hockey like a bunch of thugs.   ARRGGGGH it just makes me so angry.

Since their meeting in the playoffs last year, the Bruins and Penguins have created a rivalry whose intensity has reached nuclear levels this season.  And Saturday was Chernobyl.

First you have Orpik’s hit on Eriksson.  Then Thornton’s reaction to said hit.  Then, just when you thought things couldn’t get worse,  you have James Neal kneeing Brad Marchand in the head while he is down on the ice.

Orpik’s hit started the meltdown with his check on Eriksson.  From the replays, the hit didn’t look exceptionally dirty (he might have left his feet a little) but it was a devastating blow to the Bruins as it knocked the Bs left winger out of the game with his 2nd concussion of the season.

Then Thornton sent things to a critical level when he retaliated and took Orpik down to the ice.  Now I love Thornton…when he isn’t being a complete and utter moron.  He is a player that brings a grittiness and physicality to the game that should be appreciated. But I CANNOT abide by his actions on Saturday.

It is embarassing for not only the Bruins, but also for Shawn Thornton, and it showed in his post game interview.

He looks as if he is about to burst into tears at any time. No doubt a suspension is coming for ST22 and when it does, he will take his punishment like a big boy and hopefully put this entire debacle behind him.

And then we have James Neal.  Oh James, I thought you were better than that. Pants thought you were better than that.  She is wicked mad at you right now and you are going to have to work hard to get back in her good graces.

Also – you’ve been Shannaband.  Five games to sit in the corner in time-out to think about what you’ve done.

What we all need to do is take a deep collective breath and just calm the f*&^ down.  Stop the madness, people!

It seems to me that we are precariously close to forgetting that this game is all about. Especially the men that have the honor and the privledge to play this sport.  It is about using their emmence and awesome talent  to compete with dignity and grace.  It’s about sportsmanship.

Forgotten what that looks like?  Let Patrice show you.

Bergeron helping get stretcher out to Orpik

I hate the Bruins.  Chuck hates the Penguins.  And while there’s plenty to shout about the opposition in last night’s debacle, it left more than enough responsibility for our own teams.  Two incidents, two aggressors, two outcomes.  I’ll leave it to Chuck to talk about Shawn Thornton if she’d like.

On James Neal

I’ve always joked that “hockey is my boyfriend” but in a way, I’m serious – I am in a committed relationship with hockey.  I spend time with it.  Its moods fascinate me.  When we fight, I imagine leaving it forever and starting over somewhere new, but in reality I’m always coming back.  I have given my heart to the game, and in doing so have given this game the power to hurt me.

Boy, did last night hurt.

James Neal, I don’t understand you.  Personally, I’d be satisfied with a rise from relative obscurity to a marquee team, the ability to bang out 40 goal seasons and a chemistry that borders on magic with one the game’s very best players.  I would enjoy a run of 7 multi-point nights in 9 games, 20 points in just 16 games and the opportunity to prove I can flourish on my own, without Malkin at my side.  I’d check the standings and think the top looks pretty good, let’s maybe try to stay there.

So why?  What purpose beyond petulance does kneeing Marchand in the head serve?  This isn’t the candy aisle at Target and so an acceptable venue for your tantrum.  You don’t like the guy.  Neither do I.  But I do like hockey, the Penguins and winning – in that order.  On those topics I feel we must surely disagree.

Really good piece on last night from Days Of Y’Orr.

Roughing up Marchand is not your job.  If you want to volunteer for the task, by all means fight him.  You know he’ll go.  But hitting a defenseless guy is shitty.  Hitting him in the head is worse.  Doing it intentionally is revolting and then having the gall to lie about it… you should be ashamed of yourself.  I certainly am.  We have TVs, remember?  Those things that see the entire ice and capture moments forever?  Your post-game sadface lie was about as blatant as your intent on the play.

Having your infraction accompanied, if not overshadowed, by Shawn Thornton’s does not excuse it.  It does not mitigate.  In fact it compounds, like two cars driven by assholes straight into each other at high speed.  Twice the force of everyone’s stupidity, twice the impact on hockey.  I tried to think how I would feel if an opposing player did that to one of the Penguins.  A bag of animal crackers immediately lost its life and I decided no, I can still give other players the benefit of the doubt.  They wouldn’t do that, right?  Even if another one just did?  Maybe I’m naive and the game today has become something I can no longer defend.  I don’t know.  The only thing certain is that I cannot defend you.

Take a break, Neal.  Take your repeat offender status, your fine and/or suspension and sleep on the couch for a while before I decide if I’m taking you back.  This team put its faith in you.  Let’s see you put this team ahead of yourself and your ego.  The saying goes ‘It’s better to be lucky than smart,’ but if your success is based on talent, skill and ability – not luck – then I do not understand why you can’t be smart.

(Playoffs 2012: The last time I was really mad at James, for a similarly moronic series of actions.  My patience and forgiveness are not infinite, sir.)

I hate this about hockey.  I hate the culture of violence that  has gone from footnote to title.  I believe the rough stuff serves a purpose in the game and understand that role is hard to police.  It used to be that players did it themselves – “the code” everyone’s always tossing around.  You don’t go after defenseless guys, goons don’t run superstars and so on until you realize that’s moronic, they’re “more like guidelines” and you’ve been outsmarted by the two dumbest pirates on The Black Pearl.  It’s crazy to think of fighting as a privilege, so maybe it’s more like  weapon, meant to be used precisely and with care, only when required.  If you can’t use it wisely it will be taken away.  With power comes responsibility and right now the NHL requires no consistent responsibility from players, and so fails in that responsibility as an organization.

Suspensions should happen.  I believe the outcome of an incident should matter, but not more than intent.  Only luck separates injury from escape – it should not be relied upon to determine punishment.  It should be thanked and counted, then luck should be left for clanging goal posts and catching gloves, for seeing-eye shots and the moments with 0.3 seconds left when your team needs – no, deserves! – a goal, a tie, a win.  Luck should be for the game, not used as a get out of jail free card.

This hurt as much to write as it did to watch that game last night.  You guys know I love James Neal but I can’t stand behind this kind of play.  Nor can I be a fan who sees no fault in her own team.  No one team, even mine, is greater than the game.

Ugh.  Can someone please bring me the Oilers and a litter of puppies?

And totally crush-worthy.

This week’s honoree has got it in spades.

So let’s look at the reasons why Barty gets this week’s honor (besides his obvious awesomeness)

In the pantheon of NHL defensemen, Bartkowski does get instant name recognition (not yet at least).  The 25 year old defenseman is in his 1st full NHL season and along with Torey Krug and Dougie Hamilton, is leading the wave of up and coming Bruins’ blueliners.

I’m Polish. He has a Polish last name.  Now, I don’t know if he is Polish like I’m Polish, but I bet my Babcia wouldn’t mind if I brought him home for dinner.  I hope he likes pierogi and kielbasa.

He is a Pittsburgh native (Mt. Lebanon, to be specific).  While the Pens aren’t my team, I do like their city. Especially the maple bacon donuts from Peace, Love, and Little Donuts. Who am I kidding? I LOVE these mini pieces of heaven.

We could eat them together as we ride the city’s incline trains.

His budding bromace with Torey Krug.  Watching this love story develop is really quite beautiful.  It’s like a really good Hallmark movie…except with more hockey and less dying or drama.

To see more of their love, check out episode 3 of “Behind the B”. There is a car-sing long.  To Rush, no less. #epic #nerdtastic 

Fashion.  It don’t mean a thing to him. He’s a simple man.

We appreciated a man who takes the time to learn our language.

Who got the FLOW? Matt got the flow.  And it’s amazing.

Matt Bartkowski, ladies and gentleman.  I’m crushing.  Hard.  If this was high school, I would now be doodling Matt + Chuck 4-eva on my trapper keeper and finding out ways to get him to ask me to prom.

Two of the things we love most in the world.

Put them together and let the seal-clapping and squeeeeeing commence.

The Boston Bruins released their own 2014 calendar – just in time for the holiday season, natch – and here are some of the highlights

I have no idea what is going on with Johnny’s shirt but honestly I really don’t care.  Because his face. And the fluffy puppy face. That dog looks as happy as I would be to have Johnny’s arm wrapped around me.

Things I love about this photo: Brad Marchand’s Sweater.  The dog’s name.  Great name for a dog.  If I ever get a dog, I am doing to name him Han Solo.  Or Lando Calrissian.  Either one would work.

Continuing with the Star Wars theme, next we have Iggy with his dog, Onja aka Yoda.  Yoda is killing it with those ears.  She might be carrying a little extra weight around the middle but let’s face it – it is friggin’ cold in Calgary.

How cute of a pair to Kelly and Mama Celeste make?  It doesn’t even matter that she is named after a microwaveable pizza! She’s adorable.  And Kelly holding on to her so gently is just precious.  Because you know at any minute she is going to jump out his arms and go skidding across the ice on those wee tiny paws of hers.

I want to take Roscoe home with me right now and rename him Han Solo and love him and squeeze him and pet him.  Oh and his picture also features Milan Lucic.  Who apparently went to the James Neal School of Awkward Dog Holding.

So much going on with this photo.  Despite the horribly unphotogenic background, I kind love this picture. You know how they say that dogs and their owners start to resemble each other?  Ladies and Gentleman – there is your proof right there.

Wiggles? Bubbles Lollipop? I can’t. Seriously, Wiggles.  He (she?) is werking it.  Smizing.  Fierce. Because I can’t for the life of me imagine Dennis “Der Hammer” Seidenberg actually naming his dogs this, so I’m going to assume that his children named them.  Or perhaps there is a softer, gentler side of Seids we don’t yet know about.

That sound you hear is my roommate @sailingfoodie collapsing on the floor and dying.  She is OBSESSED with bulldogs and spends hours creating a plan on how she would get her hypothetical dog up to our 3rd floor apartment.  (We were going to rig a rope & pulley system from our living room window and pull the dog up in a bucket, in case you were wondering.)

While Zorro’s cuteness is undeniable, the real winner in this photo is Gregory Campbell.  He’s one of the foxier Bruins and after that whole playing-on-a-broken-leg thing, he’s an out-right legend.

Of course they take the photo in front of the Bunker Hill Monument.  Because if there was anyone who would be from Charlestown, it would be Shawn Thornton.  You’ve seen The Town, right?  You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have fit in perfectly as a bank-robbing extra.  Clearly, the greyhound must be his wife’s and the other is his.  Because there is no way that a guy like that has a little dog.

WEE LITTLE PUPPY!  TUUUUUUKKKKKKAAAA!  If he’d have put that hot dog dog actually in his goalie mitt, there would have been a nuclear cute-splosion and I would be writing this post from some desolate radioactive wasteland. Also, did you see the dog’s name?  Wishful thinking, little buddy, but I applaud your ambition.

Lola is adorable but there is just not enough juxtaposition in this photo.  Chara needs a smaller dog – like a Pomeranian.  Or a Maltese.  Can you imagine?  Just look at Chara.  He can’t even fit in the seats.  Sort of like me at a Red Sox game. #tallpeopleproblems

Not to be out done, even the Bruins management and coaching staff got in on the fun.

Bosco looks like a dog that Neely would have.  Big. Strong. Devastatingly handsome.

Peter Chiarelli and his pugs!  Butterballers!

Sadly no Patrice Bergeron, but I’m sort of glad for that.  Because if there was a photo of Patrice, wearing a sweater, holding a puppy…I’m not sure that I could have handled it.

Bruins’ 2014 Calendar is $20 + S&H and can be ordered here.

Big, huge, mega thank you to @lilfish77 for scanning these! 

The two best teams in the East faced off last night and the over arching theme was resiliency.  After the Penguins tied it up with 0.3 seconds left to send it to OT, some teams would have been completely demoralized.

0.3 seconds?  Seriously? Guys, come on….

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay….

Watching Crosby bang home the puck past Tuukka with infinitesimal time left to snatch away a point doesn’t feel good.  It feels horrible actually.  I was up, out of my seat at the Garden, shaking my fist angrily at Pants and her wine 400 miles away and feeling like this…

If I was a little girl and I had a bouquet of balloons, Sidney Crosby would be the guy with a pin standing over my shoulder waiting to pop them.  Thankfully, the Bruins channeled their feels into victory.   They were able to regroup, focus and then it was Torey Krug to the rescue.

Boom. You’re welcome.

Krug may be pocket-sized but there is NOTHING small about the way that he has been playing this season.  His beautiful OT winner (the 1st of his career) was the 7th goal of the season for the Bruins.  He is 2nd on the team in goals and 4th in overall points (15).

Mr. Krug, are you campaigning for Foxy Friday? Because you are making an excellent case for yourself.

Not to be out done, Loui Eriksson netted his 5th of the season and boy, was it splendiforous!

I don’t even care that his Movemeber mustache makes him look like a silent movie villain. Or is it more 70s porn star?  He keeps scoring goals and I’ll forgive anything.

During the warm-ups, James Neal was trying to seduce me with his flowing locks hair and his face but I was not having it. Nope. I respect Nealer and how he plays…except when he is playing the Bruins.  Last night, Nealmobile had 2 goals, including this wikkid one that induced major face-palming, raging, and a litany of expletives.

While our loyalties (and blog) are divided, there is one thing we can agree on.

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/11/26/buzzer-beater-part-2/feed/ 0 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/11/19/60-minutes/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/11/19/60-minutes/#comments Tue, 19 Nov 2013 15:28:32 +0000 http://wuys.wpengine.com/?p=18410 Last night, Bruins finally managed to put together a solid “60 minute effort”, as the kids like to say.  You know who is happy?

Granted it was against the Carolina Hurricanes, who are taking a long ride on the struggle bus, but the effort was the Bruins’ most consistent of the season and they were rewarded with a 4-1 victory on the road.  Bruins were 0-3 on the road after starting the season 4-0.

Bruins forwards were working hard, creating opportunities, and running the Canes’ defense around. Two of the four Bruins goals came from defensemen, including Johnny Boychuk’s rocket, his first goal in 3, 586 games.  Okay, so not THAT many games but it has been a while since JB55 put on past the goalie.

Especially positive was the play of Soderberg/Kelly/Smith line.   Soderberg and Smith each had a goal and an assist.  This line seems to be finding some mojo as evidence by their nifty, quick passing in the offensive zone and it looks like Soderberg’s looooong road to the NHL might have been worth the journey.

Originally drafted by the Blues in the 2004 Entry Draft, this season will be the first full season for the 28-year-old Swede.  He’s got 8 points in 14 games and did we mention that he’s Swedish?

Marchand started on the 3rd line but by late in the 2nd period was taking shifts on the 4th line. Since the summer and his break-up with Seguin, he just hasn’t been quite the player that we expected.  Perhaps he spend too much time downing pints of ice cream, while listening to Sade and looking at photos of his lost love on his iPhone.

Sad Marchand.

After the game, Bruins had to jump on a plane to NYC where they’ll take on the Rangers tonight.  If I had to wager a guess, I think that Caron will be back in the line up, along with Thornton, with Marchy taking in the game from the press box.

Wonder if the popcorn at MSG is any good….

Last night, Tyler Seguin and Rich Peverley both scored in the shootout to lift the Stars over the Bruins.  Perhaps it is a little poetic justice for those two guys who had to endure the embarrassing and juvenile booing and chants each time they touched the puck.

Booing?  Really?  Why is that even necessary? I loveloveLOVE the Bruins but sometimes their fans are just exceptionally ridculous.

In case you’ve forgotten, Seguin and Peverely didn’t ASK to be traded from Boston.  Their departure from Boston was a product of salary caps and business strategies.

Now, I don’t pretend that Seguin is some perfect, sacrosanct hockey player.  He made personal and professional mistakes that didn’t help his cause and contributed to the ease of his departure, but Peverely – Really, people?  What did Rich Peverley ever do to deserve your ire?

For all those people who vilified them last night, how quickly you have forgotten these two were are part of the team that brought the Stanley Cup to Boston for the first time in almost 40 years.  How quickly you have forgotten that #19 sweater that you so eagerly purchased proudly declaring your status as a Seguinista.

Well last night’s shootout was just for you then.  You know that all your booing and chanting and general turpitude just made Seguin and Peverely even more determined to shut you up.  And they did.  So good on ya. WTG.

Now they hate us and never want to come back here and it is all your fault.

Side Note: World Series champ Mike Napoli was at the game.  His beard, people.  It is glorious. I’m in love with him it him.

All franchises except the Bruins.

Perhaps they were and I just wasn’t looking hard enough, but at least that is the way that it seemed to me.  Other NHL franchises were using the immence power of the internet and social media and making their fans, new and old alike, fall butt-crazy in love with them.

To me it just seemed that the Bruins’ media relations/marketing/promotions departments didn’t get “it”.  And by “it”, I mean their fans’ deep desire and thirst to know the players on a level beyond what happened on the ice.  We are a city obsessed with sports and championships and social media, but there was something missing.

We all know that know that hockey players are some of the most down-to-earth, goofy, and humble athletes on the planet.  But the casual fan or the person who is just making their tentative steps in to the world of hockey fandom might not.  When you’re the #4 sport in the US and attempting to recover from a soul-crushing lockout, you need one thing – You need people to fall in love with you.

They only way to get someone to fall in love with you is to show them who you are – who you truly are.  Strip away the gloss and bring it down to what matters in this sport.  Grit. Determination. Passion. Personality.  That is how you are going to get people to love you.

Perhaps that is about to change.

On September 9th, NESN (aka New England Sports Network) will premiere a 13 episode series called “Behind the B”, giving fans a look into the life and times of the Stanley Cup Champs.  The program is narrated by Boston guy & hockey fan Denis Leary.

This is the first time ever that the team is going to be doing this and I’m hoping that this is going to be exactly what I’ve been waiting for.

Click on image to watch trailer

My DVR is set.  And you know can expect some posts about the episodes on this blog.  Particularly about ,Adam McQuaid’s hair, Peter Chiarelli’s hockey genius, and Patrice Bergeron’s face.

Because it is perfect. Even Nash can’t help but stare.

For those of you not in the New England area, I really do hope you get a chance to see it somehow.

You might not love the Bruins, but I suspect that you might like them a little more when you get a chance to know them.

Plus they got Iggy now, so there’s that…

Adorbs.