Disclaimers:

Chuck: I have watched some Western Conferences games this year, but those 10pm start times are killers. My predictions are based off:  the games I HAVE watch; NHL Network, what I’ve read about the teams, and Ms. Cleo.

Pants: I need to be honest here for a second. Can I vote for the Oilers? No? Then I don’t know anything about the West. I will predict – I may even have emotions – but everything I think about the Western Conf. is learned from reading other predictions or the final NHL standings. Basically, I am cheating off all your tests.

western conference

Blues vs. Wild

Chuck: Blues. But maybe the Wild?  Wild have been the best team in the NHL since January and the exceptional play of Devan Dubnyk has carried them through, but the Blues have a sniper in Tarasenko and a deep corps of forwards and defenseman. This one is a conundrum, for sure.

Pants: Blues. They always seem to be giving my teams a hard time, so this year will be not different. Also, BORT’S BEARD! I needs it.

Lindsay’s favorite photo.

Predators vs. Blackhawks

Chuck: Predators. I’m going out on a limb for this one but just hear me out. Preds’ defensemen make an in so many ways and Weber and Josi are a stellar 1-2 punch. James Neal, when he is in the zone, can score goals that other guys just can’t. Hawks’ defense has been meh of late and Crawford can’t do it without good players in front of him.

Pants: Probably the Predators, because they’ve been rock solid all season. Also, I have Gingerbeard withdrawal something fierce. The Hawks have had their ups-and-downs, though they are getting Patrick Kane back right on cue to make me eat these words.

Ducks vs. Jets

Chuck: Ducks.  Ducks has strength on pretty much all four lines and if their forechecking is on point, they are probably one of the best in the league. Paul Maurice has changed slowly changed the identity and culture of the Jets but they aren’t quite there…yet.  But I wouldn’t be mad at ALL if the Jets pulled this upset off.

Pants: Ducks. If you’ve never watched Bruce Boudreau coach, please take this opportunity. If he was an iso-cam feed during games, I would never need to see the ice.

Canucks vs. Flames

Chuck: Flames. I don’t have a dog in this fight since the Bruins are out so I am looking for a team to adopt.  Maybe the Flames are it. So what that they haven’t won a playoff round since 2004 (when the lost in the SCF)?  Great coach in Bob Hartley, a hugely successful powerplay and their ability to win without Giordano might make the Flames a dark horse.

Pants: When I go to horse races, I bet on whichever horse has the best drag queen name. (So far, Surly Temple is the all-time favorite.) So when I say I can’t pick a team in this series, know how deeply and truly I do not care. I seem to have a lot of Canuck fan friends though, and I wish them well.

Comment below and let us know your predictions.  Who’s your dark horse team?

Rick Nash’s “no” face.

Fleury throws another shutout, Pens lead Rangers 2-1

MAF had his second shutout in as many days, standing on his head at times to keep the NYR off the board in Game 3.  Not bad for a goalie who has playoff confidence problems, right?

Prancercize

In case you tuned in late to the game and heard 47:26 of dead air, that’s because CROSBY SCORED (!!!!)  in the first period and the commentators had nothing else to talk about.

Talking.  Who needs talking when you have… goals.  I was going to say goals.

High score

Sid’s goal was set up by a long, beautiful pass from Robert Bortuzzo.  This advertisement paid for by @alisonsykora.

Hoodie by lululemon

The Rangers have played a ton of hockey in the past two weeks, so today gap gives them much needed rest.  Personally, I hope there is construction in all of their luxury condo buildings until Game 4 on Wednesday night.  I made a lot of this delicious chicken mushroom farro risotto, if you want to come over.

Here’s Sid post-game on PensTV, and post-game with Pierre leaning in on NBC Sports.  Can’t blame the guy, honestly.

This hair. I love playoffs.

Kings win again, go up 2-0 over Ducks

So far this series can be summed up with one headline from LATimes.com:

Understated elegance

Marian Gaborik scored 34 seconds into last night’s game.  The NBC announcers were barely in their seats before the puck was in the net.  After his last-minute tying goal in Game 1, then the OT winner, Gaborik sure is “fitting in” – so well I bet he got randomly drug tested during first intermission (probably by someone from the Blue Jackets).  He is on fire, and so are the Kings.  This is their sixth straight win.  Jonathan Quick is playing like he did in their Cup run.  Hell, they had Jeff Schultz on D last night and they still won!

Marian Gaborik vs. The World

Down 2-0 in a series is not really “must win.”  If anyone proved that, it was the Kings in R1.  But the Ducks are reeling.  History may be destined to repeat itself but if Anaheim doesn’t win in GM3, I don’t think another legendary 0-3 comeback is happening so soon.

Look out behind you.

Tonight it’s Bruins vs. Habs in the battle for a 2-1 series lead, followed by the Hawks quest to go up 3-0 over the Wild.  Are you surviving?  How is anyone getting any sleep?  Who washed my Toews shirt on hot so it shrank into a size only James Neal would wear?  I think I need a break.  Even Pierre is off tonight – 20 games in 20 nights?  Big deal.  We’ve watched at least 40.

Penguins and Rangers series tied 1-1

The Pens had a shaky first period Friday night and got themselves down 2-0 like they think every game needs to be crazy a la Round 1.  No thank you – because it doesn’t always work.  The Rangers won in OT.  Just as well I was on a Twitter ban and only talking to Alison.

Sad Brad scored on his birthday. I hope his ice cream cake melted.

Last night, I was at a dinner and trying not to check the score.  Go home and watch the whole game, right?  Ha!  Zero will power.  I did pass my phone around the table for independent verification of the score, then had more celebratory sangria.  I watched the game afterward – fast-forwarding through Pens’ penalties, which was pretty much the entire first period.  Nisky for roughing – in hindsight, I can love that.

Incoming Geno hug

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Still no goals for Crosby or Nash.  (See what I did there? I almost hope you don’t, it’s so bad.)  At this rate, they’ll find that missing plane before one of these guys scores.

Want to see my Art Ross Trophy?

Blackhawks lead Wild in series 2-0

Friday night’s game was tied 2-2 until Patrick Kane decided it was time for this goal:

If this blog had audio, I’d whistle.  That’s so good it’s worth another goal, which Kaner scored 8+ minutes later to put the Hawks up 4-2 and shut the door (won 5-2 on an EN).  Sunday afternoon, playoff hero Bryan Bickell extended his point streak to five games with 1G and 2A.  Remember how many points he had last year?  17 (9G, 9A) in 23 games.  He’s got eight points in eight games so far this post-season.

Must. Have. Points.

Patrick Sharp didn’t have any points in the game (he had 1A on Friday), but he wore these shorts and we think that counts for something.

Somewhere Toews can’t find his shorts.

Bruins and Canadiens tied 1-1

After PK Subban’s double-OT winner last week, the Habs were up one game to none.

BeardWatch

Remember Boston lost the first game of the last series too, then adjusted and won four straight.  They got back on that track with a come-from-behind 5-3 victory Saturday, which I watched from the elliptical runner at the gym.  I can go a lot of miles fueled by my dislike for Brad Marchand.  That said, four unanswered goals in the third period (one EN) made the B’s look more dominant that the scoreboard showed.

“Ha, little man.”

Kings take first game, lead Ducks 1-0

I wish this series could be weekends-only, so I could stay up for every game.  It was worth the late night Saturday – I caught just the 3rd and OT – to see Marion Gaborik tie the game with seven seconds left.

God, that is SO exciting when it’s a) your team or b) you don’t care who wins!  Gaborik scored again in OT.  I still have the Ducks taking this series, but the Kings are going to make me look stupid every time I don’t pick them.

Five in a row, and counting.

Tonight the Penguins and Rangers are back at it, this time in NYC, and I will be glued to the TV and (trying to stay) signed out of Twitter.   Late night it’s Game 2 of Kings vs. Ducks.  It promises to be really exciting and also excellent for your productivity at work tomorrow.

Must… watch… hockey…

Screw you, Day Eight.

Last night I was very PANIC! AT THE DISCO.  I feel a little better this morning , so allow me to re-edit my thoughts.

Blue Jackets: 4; Penguins: 3 [Series tied 2-2]

Listen, Fleury has been the Penguins’ best player all series.  Sometimes he is their only player actually playing.  So much has been said over the years about his fragile confidence that I want to sucker punch a sportscaster in the junk.  Last night the Penguins played a  great 20 minutes, followed by what felt like a 40 minute penalty kill.  So after an endless amount of this:

There was a single, slow motion, crash zoom moment of this:

With 24 seconds left in the game and a 1 goal lead.  And then overtime.  And then the Penguins lost.  Series tied.

expletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletiveexpletive

There is no reason, no why.  But if I had a dollar for every time I yelled, “STAYINYOURNETFLOWER!” I’d be blogging from a private island where Chris Evans brings me cake between rounds of shirtless push-ups.  So there is also no surprise.  It’s a flabbergasting and inexplicable mistake, I don’t think Flower himself would argue against that.

Yet it was made by the man who’s been holding everyone else’s crap together for nearly four games.  I hate that this happened to Flower – it’s like a bad rumor making itself true.  His job is to make saves, not carry the team.  If those things are one and the same sometimes, so be it.  Blame falls far and wide for how the Penguins even ended up in this situation.  In that way, Fleury is lucky.  If Scuderi had made a mistake this costly?  Riots.  Letang?  WAR.

That it’s Flower is both the best and worst thing for a team that has no choice but to rebound Saturday night.  Fleury will get a chance to prove, in real time, that he is not the fall apart mess people say.  He’s a great goalie.  The damage is done.  We’re asking him to forget it and move on so let’s do the same, yeah?  Let’s have faith, and please don’t let it be the delusionally misguided playoff kind.  If these guys need their backs against the wall to win battles and outplay their opponent, well they’ve got their chance.  (#PensInSix)

Stars: 4; Ducks: 2 [Series tied 2-2]

On a night when Ryan Getzlaf was out with an upper-body injury and Teemu Selanne was a healthy scratch, Game 4 in Dallas promised to be exciting.  Like final whistle line brawl exciting.

The Ducks were unhappy after Game 3, where they felt the Stars were running Ryan Getzlaf because of his injured face. [link]  Dallas’ Ryan Garbutt broke the leg of Anaheim’s Stephane Robidas in a play for the puck [Garbutt apologized, Robidas accepted: link].  There’s history now and bad blood.  The Stars scored four unanswered goals and the Ducks are in a bit of a panic after being ousted in the first round last year.  Regardless, all fights should have streamers.

Jamie Benn had another goal.  That’s all you really wanted to know, right?

Blackhawks: 4; Blues: 3 [Series tied 2-2]

It wouldn’t the Blackhawks if it didn’t take overtime.  They blew a two goal lead in the first.  The Blues had plenty of chances to extend their lead but could not convert.  Brian Bickell tied the game with under four minutes left in regulation.  Then in overtime, which they’ve needed three of the four games in this series, Patrick Kane:

Because Jess is a good person who loves the Blackhawks, she wanted to be sure you didn’t miss Captain I’m Fun Now doing post-game press in his booty shorts [video].

Now all of these series are new again.  They’ve done the homework, there are no surprises left.  Chicago and Dallas are on the upswing while Pittsburgh could certainly use a fresh start.  Everyone knows exactly what it will take to win a Best of Three.  Give yourself a day (two if you’re the Penguins, whose practice this morning was cancelled) and when this resumes we will fight not to the death.  No no, our losers have to watch someone else steal their dream.  As always we fight:

Penguins: 4, Blue Jackets 3 [Pens lead series 2-1]

This game started and an instant later the Jackets had scored two goals.  Okay, maybe it took 3:18, but it felt like a heartbeat.  The Penguins were not ready, not willing and not at all able while I just watched like:

It continued into the second period.  Pittsburgh shot total multiplied exponentially but nothing got past Bobrovsky.  They had 257 power plays – alright 6; the CBJ were throwing themselves into the box – but converted on zero.  This from the NHL’s #1 regular season PP!  When I tell you I yelled, “The next person who blows a drop pass coming into the zone gets my foot up his ass!” I mean I was loud.

Finally Brooks Orpik (ofallpeopleexceptLetangmewlingdeath!!) scored in the last gasp of the 2nd period.

And of course, the Jackets got it right back to start the third.

Only I didn’t leave.  I sent my Patronus away so it wouldn’t have to watch but I am not strong enough to resist.  Then the Penguins scored.

1:10 later they scored again.

1:03 after that they scored again.

I was freaking out and faith-healed and curled into a weird knot on my living room floor.  Three goals on three shots in 2:13.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

Then they won.  And this was me, for a solid two hours after:

It’s only Game 3.  Crosby, Kunitz, Malkin and Neal have no goals – only Geno even has a point.  So many wasted man advantages.  Flower stayed confident despite a messy start.  Alison & I both performed mid-game costume changes to what we wore for Game 1 and it worked.  I’m exhausted.  I might be overreacting.  Maybe everything is going to be okay.

Right, Sid?

GAH.  That’s what you always say.

Blackhawks: 2; Blues: 0 [Blues lead series 2-1]

Well no one died, which makes it a model of restraint after last game’s dirty hit/suspension/general abhorrence.  Instead the Hawks set the pace early when Captain I’m Fun Now put a gimmie through the wickets on Ryan Miller.  Corey Crawford pitched a shutout and the Hawks staved off an almost certain death – for now.

Wild: 1; Avalanche: 0 [Avs lead series 2-1]

Zero goals until 5:08 of overtime.  After a combined 9 G in Game 1 and 6 G in Game 2, this match was locked down.  The Avs managed on 22 shots on Darcy Kuemper in his playoff debut, while Minnesota threw 46 shots on Varlamov.  Matt Cookie hit Tyson Barrie knee-on-knee and will likely (deservedly) be the second player suspended this post-season.  See it here.  I don’t want to watch it again.  Instead watch Mikael Granlund’s holy moly game-winner:

Stars: 3; Ducks: 0

I was only half-watching this game after the emotional trauma of the Pens’ game, but I know the DuckTales theme when I hear it!  The Stars in-game staff played it during a third period timeout.  If you were sleeping, search ‘DucksTales’ on Twitter.  Harmless fun and who doesn’t want to hear that song?  [The Albany River Rats used to play “Even the Losers (Get Lucky Sometimes)” when the opposing team scored.  I laughed even when we were losing.]

Jamie Benn had a goal and the post-game interview, but you should be tuning in for Jordie Benn’s megabeard.  Someone find me a picture of that!

Tonight, tonight it’s Montreal with the chance to give Tampa Bay the first playoff exit of the year.  The Bruins/Red Wings and Rangers/Flyers all try to gain the edge in tied series and late night, the Sharks will attempt to go up 3-0 over the Kings.  The first two games have each seen 9 total goals scored.  Sounds exciting – if only we could stay awake!

1. Enjoy a composed evening of important hockey that matters on a theoretical level, but not to your team.
2. Like me, last night:

One goal games all around, and no one made it look easy.  Here we go, Round One: Day One already gearing up to be great.

Canadiens: 5, Lightning: 4

Did you get dizzy watching this one?  Twice Tampa Bay took the lead, only to lose it in 0:19 and 3:15 respectively.  Montreal went up by a goal twice, only to be tied again in 2:01 and 1:57.  The last game-tying goal was a beauty by Stamkos, coast-to-coast, all alone:

Almost an entire OT period was needed to end this, the Habs getting the win.   Still some good numbers for the Lightning – they had only 25 shots on Price but scored 4 times, while Lindback stopped 39 of 44.  On Montreal’s end, that’s a lot of shots!  Vanek had 7 of them, including this very pretty goal:

Penguins: 4,  Blue Jackets: 3

TOO CLOSE, THANK YOU.  If every game in the series is like this, I may not survive.  I expect it will be, since all Pens defensemen over the age of Matt Niskanen have a tendency to do what only Mokiki can do so well: the Sloppy Swish.

SNL Video: (The Legend of) Mokiki and the Sloppy Swish

They will magically get it together for periods (of time, not hockey).  Let’s hope for more of those.  Flower I thought was not bad – the first 2 goals were all the D’s fault, the 3rd he’d love to have back.  If only the world were a wish granting factory.

The Jackets are, of course, good and scary.  I was sore from watching guys get hit on TV.  Also from punching the screen every time Brandon Dubinksy’s face came up.  That’s his job and he does it so well.

Ducks: 4, Stars: 3

I went to bed when this was 3-0 Anaheim, all in the first.  I did a “WHAT?!” this morning when I saw the final score.  For twenty minutes things were bleak, but it was just the rust of not making the playoffs for the last 5 seasons.  They are good now.  But are they as good as the Ducks?

Ryan Getzlaf, with the Tyler Seguin slapshot-to-face:

If not for Getz’s mug, who knows?  The Stars could have tied in the final seconds.  They came close more than once.  Coach Boudreau expects Getzlaf to have a “nasty cut” but hopefully be fine and they will know more today.

Foxy Friday: Ryan Getzlaf

Ryan Getzlaf exists for two reasons:

• To make you laugh.
• To make his awkward friends feel extra-awkward, which in turn makes you laugh.

Make it three – he’s pretty good at hockey.

There was the classic Getzlaf vs. Ryan 2010 Vancouver Olympics comedy tour that extended all the way to the 2011 NHL Awards.   Bobby Ryan can keep up, but Getzlaf’s best is just dissolving uncomfortable teammate Corey Perry into giggles from which he cannot recover.

Or ragging Crosby because no one else will:

Or taking  the side-by-side matching Sochi toilets in stride:

If your first thought about Ryan Getzlaf for Foxy Friday is “he’s bald” well yes, we know.  He struggled a bit with just how to handle the hair situation…

… and kept hanging on a little too long.

It can’t be easy when you’re skating around this sick flow every day:

But really, we don’t care.  We applaud Ryan for finally just going the way nature was taking him anyway.  He can pull it off!  Bone structure, blue eyes and bald.  Is that an equation?  Or just the formula for Bruce Willis?  Either way, it works.

Instead of seeing it as a detriment, Ryan uses his crop top as a feature to accessorize.

Baby:

The Getzlafs have two sons and a daughter on the way.

Puppy:

Shorts:

Good deeds:

Gold medal:

Okay, that last one goes with everything.

Getz leads the Ducks with 79 points.  This is his first-ever 30G season, +5 over any previous total.  He’s been with the Ducks his entire 9-season career and was named captain at age 25 before the 2010 schedule began.  It wasn’t always an easy road, but the Ducks are now 3rd in the West, 2nd in the Pacific and would, if the playoffs started today, face their rival LA Kings in the first round.

What do you think, Ryan?

If Getz wants to do this again, his Ducks will have to survive a Western Conference post-season bloodbath.  Teams considerably better than most in the East will go out in the first round because… jeez, thank God for this playoff format.  Love, the Eastern Conference.

The #2 seeded Ducks went out in the first round last year, though it took seven games.  It’s safe to say that Ryan Getzlaf has at least a few more Fridays left in the 2013-14 season.

Back in October, the Ducks lost their season opener 6-1 to Colorado.  That’s not exactly how a team wants to ring in a new year.  You know they had a post-game talk about shaking it off, getting back out there are starting over.

Did they ever.

Right now Anaheim is first overall in the NHL with a 35-8-5 record.  They are 19-0-2 at home, making a run at the League’s longest-ever home point streak to start a season (26 by the Flyers in 1979-80) [link].  In those 21 home games, the Ducks have outscored their opponents 81-39.

That’s a lot of cheering, quacking or however you want to celebrate.

The Ducks have 21 home games left this season.  They can’t/won’t always win at home (or can they?), but they’re probably going to keep doing it on the regular. Might you like to see some – or maybe 10 – games in which you’re virtually guaranteed an overwhelming amount of success?

Yours – for $17.

WHAT.

Anaheim, for all those home wins, currently ranks 20th in home game attendance at 93.9% [link].  According to Team Marketing & Hooked on Hockey they have the 7th lowest average face value ticket price in the League. The Ducks also match the highest minimum beer price at $9.50.  Cruel.

Part of me wants to scream, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SOCAL?”  That part of me yells a lot (and lived in LA, so it has history).  Instead of indulging the knee-jerk reaction of hockey fans who can’t understand people that aren’t hockey fans, I actually think this is great.

Hockey needs more fans.  In so many markets, and America overall, that generally means new fans.  Drawing new fans requires a perfect storm of winning (bandwagoners welcome) and reasonable ticket prices.  Sure the Ducks would love to fill 118.5% of their seats like Detroit.  But how to do that?  It’s not sell tickets to corporations, as so many top market teams do.

The Ducks have to make fans.

Don’t mistake: Anaheim has loyal fans.  Some were chirping me last night about why my team can’t catch theirs in the standings.  I know, dammit!  Last year, Bleacher Report ranked Ducks fans #3 in “NHL Fanbases Least Likely to Return” after the lockout – they were wrong.

The Honda Center is also known for drawing lots of visiting team support.  I last went to a Pens game there in ’09 that was 25%+ Pittsburgh fans.  This Ducks fan noted it at last week’s Bruins appearance.  Those are marquee out-of-market teams though, and they don’t come around every week.  The Ducks would rather it be tough for visiting fans to make so much noise.

Consistency helps.  After finishing second in the west last season, Anaheim is having another huge year on-ice.  With luck it will yield a big jump in the stands as well.  The Ducks are headed toward the playoffs like a rocket, and people could see it all for about the cost of an IMAX movie.  I hope they will.  I hope the Ducks get a point in every home game this season.  They can win into the Cup final if they want, then lose to the Penguins (obviously).  But mostly I hope their winning and marketing combine to create lots of new hockey fans.

Perhaps just say: “Tickets start at $17 – so you can afford the beer!”

ICYMI: Teemu Selanne will play in Sochi for his 6th Olympic Games.  He debuted at Albertville in 1992.  If you did something every four years – say, graduate from college – since 1992 imagine what you could be doing right now.

It wouldn’t be blogging.

Foxy Friday: Andrew Cogliano

From way out west (and arguably the League’s coldest arena), we bring you a guy who knows his way around hockey.  Since coming into the NHL in 2007, Andrew has played 459  games.  Yes, that’s every single game – 459 straight.  We are impressed.  And exhausted.

He’s a third-line center with 83 career goals + 195 points.  After spending his first few seasons with the Oilers, Andrew almost went to Ottawa in ’09 as part of a Dany Heatley trade that Heatley blocked.  Cogliano was dealt to the Ducks in June 2011.  That season netted him just 26 P (0.32 PPG), but during last year’s lockout-shortened frame his production increased to 23 P  (0.48 PPG).

Andrew looks like the kind of guy with an Italian grandmother that gives the stink eye to all his girlfriends.  That did not deter Allie Bertram, his past/maybe present GF who appeared on So You Think You Can Dance Canada (is this a real thing?) and a great episode of our favorite show, Psych.  Normally we wouldn’t mention it but we really love Psych.

You also know how we love our hockey players:

Scoring goals.

From last week in pre-season.  The LA Times called it “amazing.”

Toothless.

Courtesy of Brandon Bollig in March 2013

Near Crosby.

Doing squats.

Friends with Sam Gagner.

Do you think Andrew tried to help Sam re: Hobbit hair?

No really, they love each other.  And it’s a major life revelation that, like me, Sam does not drink coffee.  I thought I was alone!

(We’ve officially lost Lindsay now.)

He’s friends with Cabbie.

Keeping in shape.

He’s even checking out the merchandise.  (There are see-through panels in her pants, it’s not his fault.)

STOP. Is this the other half of this James Neal magazine feature?  What the heck is this from?!

And while we’re at it, what is THIS from?

Click for super big photo while we joke that size matters.

Oh, it’s from the 2009 ESPN Body Issue.  They get us every time.

Andrew will skate his 460th consecutive game on Saturday when the Ducks face the Wild.  Maybe being Foxy Friday will bring him more “amazing” spin-o-rama, fall down goal luck.  Take good care of Matty P, Andrew, and make sure no other coaches attack Bruce.

Blackhawks vs. Wild

The Hawks didn’t play their best, but they squeaked one out vs. the Wild.  As the regular clock wound down and overtime became imminent, we all did this:

Every damned time.  In last year’s first round, 5 of 6 Chicago games went to overtime.  I cannot handle that again.  Still this series could be better than we expected – apparently the Wild didn’t read anything that anyone wrote.  Good for them, if not for me ever getting to bed before midnight.

Danica Patrick was on hand in a Patrick Sharp jersey.  She proved herself a Blackhawks fan not by making the first of three goal shots during intermission, but by derping as well as we’ve ever seen a derp.

This face should come with a free #19 jersey.

In the most impressive story of the night, Wild #1 goaltender Nicklas (not Nicky) Backstrom was injured during warmups and replaced by Josh Harding.  Harding played just 5 games this season, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis sometime last fall [link].  Asked about all the adversity, Josh said “No comment” over and over until reporters asked him about last night’s game instead [link].

That’s bad ass, Josh.  We want the Hawks to win, but you make them earn it.

Blues vs. Kings

OT was also required in St. Loius, where the Blues won the game on a goal that makes me want to throw up.  Not out of displeasure, just nerves.

Off all the things to happen…

It was scored by Alex Steen, who had the Blues only other goal of the game.  In Jonathan Quick’s defense, did you see last year’s playoffs?  He’s not worried.  He kept the Kings in this game while they were outshot 42-29 and he will do the same again tomorrow.

Ducks vs. Red Wings

Finally, Anaheim vs. Detroit happened in the middle of the damned night.  Of course it was Teemu Selanne with the Ducks eventual game-winning goal just into the third period.

Back in ’07, 36-year old Selanne eliminated the Red Wings from the Western Conference Final with an OT goal.  At 42, he’s still:

The Red Wings had only 11 shots through two periods, then another 11 in the third but they couldn’t get the tie.  The Ducks notched an empty netter at 19:37 to put this one away.

How did you hold up?  Not well judging by some of your Tweets.  Any tossable items broken, binge drinking or declarations of eternal love/hate yet?  I’m pretty concerned for my well being tonight during the Penguins game.  Tomorrow’s Capitals vs. Rangers opener will be even worse.  Already…

Worse than the total agony of being in love?

We’re almost there again.  The gut-wrenching, screaming-into-a-pillow, obsecenity-laden euphoria and destruction of the post-season.

In past years, the NHL has come up with some great commercials to capture this emotional meteor shower.

Granted these are for the Cup final, but I’ve been moved and inspired.  I’ve been fired up.

And I’ve wept like that time Professor McGonagall stepped between Harry and Voldemort in Deathly Hallows.

@Raedanda found these, the NHL’s first playoff commercials for teams that have clinched berths this year.  I have to say… BLEH.

I love a good montage, but these are doing nothing for me.  Not the Penguins, or the Toews/Kane bromance.

Not Foxy Friday Carey Price, not even Corey Perry’s overturned turtle goal-slide celebration.

I need blood and sweat, I need lowlights that I suffered through while my teams paid for their playoff berths in pounds of flesh.  I need feels.

Meh.  I am a hundred times more excited and terrified than these commercials let on.  Here’s hoping for better as this shortstop season draws to an end…

Fasth has burst onto the NHL scene in this shortened as the back-up to Jonas Hiller in Anaheim.  Initially, Fasth wasn’t expected to play much but instead has dominated in a most unexpected way.

The Ducks are on a winning streak and the rookie goaltender is 4-0 as a starter.   This week, he got his first NHL shut-out with a 3-0 blanking of the Colorado Avalanche.

Fasth leads the league with an infinitesimal GAA and impressive save percentage.  In fact, he’s allowed only 4 goals this season and the Ducks are currently 1st in the Pacific Division and off to their best start since they won the Stanley Cup in 2007.  This upsets my cousin Tom and WUYS Contributor, Aaron very much. (They are both Kings fans).

Coach Bruce Boudreau has a problem that every NHL coach would kill to have – two great goaltenders, playing well, and winning games.

No doubt that Fasth is a goalie to watch this season, but there are a few other reasons why he is deserving of this honor

• His name is seriously cool – Erik Sixten Viktor Fasth.  This is not the name of a hockey player. This is the name of a Swedish prince.  Also, his last name amuses us.  No lack of “Fasth and the Furious” puns here.  (Side note: Pants is WICKED excited about the new Fast & Furious movie. Like seriously. She loves her some Paul Walker for eva and eva.
• He was born in 1982, which makes him 30 years old. Age-appropriate, ya’ll.
• He has perfected his “Hey Gurl” face.

• He must protect his house. Always.

• 

  

  The hair.  The hair alone is worth the honor.  He seems to have been diligently studying Mike Green and James Neal post game video clips (and this blog) in an effort to achieve that perfect “undone, yet perfectly done” look that we so admire.  Mission Accomplished.

•  Again, the hair.  And also the suit.  And the face. What is it with these Swedish people?  Sweden is like an alternate universe were all citizens have been genetically engineered to have perfect hair and have impeccable style.

Well there you have it – Sweden wins again.

We love this beautiful country.

Not only for its affordable, yet slightly infuriating to assemble furniture, but more so for their ability to produce countless Foxy Fridays.

Keep ’em coming, Sweden.

How is it that in the almost two years that we’ve been doing this feature, that we haven’t yet honored one of the foxiest hockey players of all time?

Shame on us!

Well, we redeem ourselves today by honoring the one…the only…the future NHL Hall of Famer….the Finnish Flash himself….

TEEEEEEEMMMMMMMUUUUUUUU!

When you’ve been playing in the league for almost 20 years, there is no shortage of foxy.  So here they are…

Current career NHL stats: 1,341 games played.  663 goals.  743 assists.  1,406 points.  +97 rating. 620 penalty minutes.  248 power play goals.  106 game-winning goals. 4,333 shots.

In short – he’s really, really, really good at hockey.

He set the rookie records in goals (76 ) and points (132!) in his first season with the Winnipeg Jets in ’92-’93 and won the Calder Trophy.

In five years with the Ducks, he had two 100-point seasons and was nominated for the Lady Byng.

He is the leading all time points leader in men’s Olympic ice hockey and has 3 medals (two bronze, one silver).

He is an avid car collector and has entered rally events in Finland under the alias “Teukka Salama” which translates into “Ted Flash”.

His kids’ names are Eemil, Eetu, Leevi, and Veera.  They sure do love their double Es in Finland.  He taught kindergarten for three years before coming to the NHL which makes him insanely more loveable.  As does this video.

This week, not only did he celebrate his 42nd birthday, (Seriously.  What is in the water in Finland?  The man doesn’t look a day over 35.) but he also announced that he would be returning to the NHL and the Ducks after signing a one-year deal.

We’re not sure how things will fare in Anaheim this year considering their start last year and the trade rumors surrounding Bobby Ryan, but whatever the outcome, we’re glad to know that #8 is going to be part of it.

The Dallas Stars finished in 9th place last year too.  Frustrated but the hopeful.  The ultimate hockey fan emotions.

Flames fans are a tough bunch, just ask Lindsay.  You can’t ever get tickets, and they haven’t made the playoffs in three years.  That’s dedication.  Do the damned Canucks have to be first *every* year?!

The Avalanche have a few up-and-comers among our favorite players to watch.  They had some rich years, and we think they’re coming back.  More Landeskoging, please.

I once figured that based on all the consecutive sellouts the Wild had, including pre-season games, that you could put a second NHL franchise in their parking lot and it would see more tickets than the Coyotes every night.  We are beyond impressed.

Anaheim.  I don’t know what the hell happened there, but this team should be tearing it up.  I’d like to see them give this top notch cast another season – Ryan, Perry, and Getzlaf if he can find his mojo.  And Teemu, please play forever.

The Oilers are rebuilding away.  With Eberle, Hall and Nugent-Hopkins clicking and a strong team behind them, it’ll be watch out world.

Columbus, don’t give up.  We know it hurts with Nash and that the wait has been long.  We hope a new chapter is starting.  Oh, and we’re coming to visit for the All-Star Game.

So long to the favorites who finished – play some golf, get healthy and come back hungry.  Now,on to those still left.

 Teemu got his 651st goal by the end of the night.

 Little Danny Briere put on his big boy pants and got in his third ever fight and had a hat trick to boot.

Shane Doan got his first hat trick EVER with .o1 to go – YES and the Coyotes have really needed SOMETHING to get their party started.

And faster than you can say “Excuse me but does this stick in the face make me look fat?” the PA put the hammer down on the realignment and the Blue Jackets have fired their coach. Whew. There was a crap load of exciting hockey happening this weekend and I didn’t even cover Corey Perry’s hat trick  – wait I just did.

So if you missed any of it, I suggest you watch the above because it was pure hockey magic. A banner weekend of nuggeted hockey gold wrapped tightly like a firecracker that exploded a little late for the new year but we’ll take it any way!

We never stood a chance.

There were 1.2 billion trade rumors about Bobby earlier this season, but he is staying put in Anaheim.  This team has a lot of fun even if they don’t win as much as they used to.  Case in point: Hula hooping (and Getzlaf’s little dog, hahahahahaha.)

You can YouTube the Ryan vs. Ryan videos from the 2010 Olympics – they are gold, even if this Bobby isn’t.  And you’ve gotta get Bobby’s Life Lessons from Twitter:

Not surprisingly, Bobby’s pretty good with girls:

And he knows how to have a good time:

We agree with Bobby on a great many things:

Except when he is Team Edward:

He made up for it by Tweeting this photo:

Not bad considering...

All this aside, Bobby Ryan had a seriously traumatic and troubled childhood.  You can read about it here and just marvel at how a kid came from this to seem so nice and normal.  His hockey talent is a gift, but he overcame a lot for the chance to put it to work.

Bobby has 10 goals and 7 assists on the season.  Anaheim is seriously struggling, with the second-worst record in the League and only 23 points.  They hired Bruce Boudreau fresh from the firing squad, so hopefully BB can turn things around for this team.  They certainly have the talent, the sense of humor and (in my experience) the coldest arena in the NHL.  They won the Cup in ’07 – wow, it seems like much longer.  Those of us who’ve lived in SoCal could get behind another Ducks victory and we’d like it to include this guy.

Homework: Gongshow Hockey’s visit to Bobby’s house in Idaho [link].

Let's get this party started

but only one named Letang

The Catzipals new attitude? Let's hope so

even i think he looks better this way

the most epic bromance - EVER

Kunitz-Crosby-Dupuis
Sullivan-Malkin-Neal
Cooke-Staal-Kennedy
Asham-Park-Adams
(Vitale, MacIntyre)

CAPITALS

Ovechkin-Backstrom-Brouwer
Eakin-Johansson-Semin
Chimera-Laich-Ward
Hendricks-Halpern-Knuble-Perreault

On a side note, the Anaheim Ducks scooped BB as their coach so I wish him the best of luck and since every knows that I also have a crush on that ‘other’ #8 Teemu, GO DUCKS! DD is #8, Teemu is #8 and Ovi is #8 and Letang is #58 …. go crazy 8’s!

And whoever made this .gif on Tumblr:

I don't want to love you but I can't help it!

With a little over three minutes left in the game, tempers flared. Clifford cross-checks Teemu and Teemu returns the favor with a nasty elbow to the face and then Teemu gets double teamed with Richardson coming in on him. Brookbank takes Clifford and then Teemu squares off with Richardson.

While I do love Teemu (obviously) I don’t want any of my boys having to face him in the play-offs. He is still too dangerous.

Not bad for the Foxy-Forty-Finnish-Flash in his final regulation free-way face-off finishing with a flashy fight!