For two solid weeks in February, you’re invited to our party.

Okay, it’s probably going to look more like this:

But the guest list is epic.  It’s  comprised of every Olympic snub – and there are some bold-faced names here.  To make sure our party lives up to the Russian’s, we’ve put our guests in charge of bringing a few key ingredients.  Consider it a gift registry without the wedding, and you don’t have to travel 16,000 miles to get to this reception.

Beer: Staal Brothers

It was a long shot for Jordan to make it, but we expected Eric to be defending Canada’s honor.  Since he can’t do it in Russia, he’ll make sure we do it here. They’ll book the jet they chartered home to Thunder Bay for Christmas, load it up and land it close.  Hope you guys like Labatts, Molson and sod because that’s all they’re bringing.

Liquor (except vodka): James Neal

Beer isn’t going to cut it for Nealmobile.  Neither, apparently, are more assists than Rick Nash has points, plus 16 goals, in fewer games.  Or better numbers since 2008.  No doubt James’ recent on-ice immaturity played a part, but growing up will have to come later.  For this we need to break out the (you thought I was going to say ‘big guns,’ right?) good stuff, skip the shot glasses and just go for it.  (He can bring his regular glasses, though.)

Vodka (and lots of it): Alex Semin

I don’t like Sasha – didn’t like him on the Caps, don’t care about him now – but getting left off the roster in your home country is awful.  Especially when he’s got a long history of representing Russia in international events.  Maybe it was due to his concussion earlier this season, but even I’ll drink to the fact it was a shame he got snubbed.  The Ovi & Sasha Reunion Show would’ve been a hit.

Games: Claude Giroux

Gingeroux thought he had this.  Normally the suffering of any Flyer makes me giddy as a Disney villain, but leaving him off Team Canada was just fickle and redheads are always welcome at our shindigs.  Based on his ability to play beer pong and cornhole with two casted, post-surgery wrists, we’re going to bet Colde can find a way to shoot around the pieces of his broken heart.  Heck, we’ll even crank the heat and make it #shirstoptional.

$5 Cover Charge: Intern Jeff Skinner

NHL’s First Star of the Week?  Good for 66.15 points to my fantasy team in just seven days, more than double what anyone else produced?  Hat tricks all over the place are awesome, but he’s still not getting in for free.

Fake IDs: #TeamEbs and #TeamHallsy

We know they’re both of age, but @amandalitty is bouncing and she just wants to know where #TeamHallsy lives, okay?  Plus we are not falling for that matching outfit, ‘No really, I’m Jordan Eberle’ trick that Nugent-Hopkins pulled the last time.

His phone: Jack Johnson

We’re prank calling Crosby all night – which will be 9 hours later there and he’ll probably answer until he blocks us and we leave amazing messages complete with singing.  These are the best kinds of messages.

Darkness: Brent Seabrook

Resident widow’s peak and most likely vampire, Seabs ain’t coming out till the sun goes down.  He slept all day, so he’s in charge of last call.

Selena Gomez CD: Logan Couture

This was his chance, you know?  Everyone watches the Olympics and there was bound to be a hockey clip during ice dancing, which people love once every 4 years.  If Logan could’ve been that highlight then Selena would have seen him and POW.  We’d be hired to promote their starring roles in The Cutting Edge 4: Ice Castles in the Ice coming out next Christmas.

His laptop: Bobby Ryan

Team USA’s biggest snub is in charge of Tweeting, Instagramming and live-blogging this party as it goes down.  Cats are allowed but absolutely nothing silver: no Coors Silver Bullet, no Patron Silver tequila, no games of quarters.

Not this shirt: Joe Thornton

The last time we partied like we were in college… well, we were in college.  We might have overlooked this shirt back then but the era of poor decision-making and Ed Hardy clothing has passed.   For heaven’s sake, there is a design on your jeans!  Give us your wallet, go tell Logan that Selena & Beiber are not back together and we’ll take care of this on Nordstrom.com.

Not any shirt: Victor Hedman

Does this party have a pool?  Victor Hedman is probably tan in February and we need a lifeguard – all these numbers that say Hedman should have been chosen make our heads swim.

Recycling Bags: Marty St. Louis

What the crap, right?  Marty may scowl disapprovingly at the pile of beer cans JStaal has crushed on his forehead, but that’s because he knows when the morning comes (or say, a 38th birthday), he’ll still be here showing these kids how it’s done.  Marty is the Last Dad Standing, so he’s on clean up.

UPDATE – Marshall: Tyler Seguin

How could I forget this?  All puppies are invited but especially if they bring Tyler Seguin.  And Tyler Seguin brings his dance moves.  (Thanks Jess!)

Jerseys, mittens, hats and flags: You 

Of course this hockey party will have hockey, and plenty of it, at all hours of the night and day.  If you saved vacation time, use it now.  While not all of our favorite players made it to Sochi, everyone from home to Russia will be supporting their country loudly and proudly.  And in some cases, other countries near their countries (maybe that’s just me).

If I didn’t pick your snubbed favorite, feel free to invite him.  We welcome anyone who brings snacks or is qualified to drive a Zamboni.

As I said after the Islanders games, we’ll take the point(s).  But the 60 minutes of sloppy, uneven play and constant turnovers it took to get there are infuriating.  When the Caps win, it’s luck – lucky that the other team didn’t beat you to it (like Carolina) because you certainly gave them enough chances.

Washington had three shots in the 2nd period.  Three!  On a goalie making his NHL debut!  The 3rd period was stronger – the Caps held the Bolts to just three shots and John Carlson played some of the best shifts I’ve ever seen from him.  The effort was buoyed by the same combination of the Loud Goat pleading and Unleashing the Fury  at exactly the right time.  Fired up?  HELL YES.  But why does it always take 52 minutes for the Caps to get that way?

Aucoin - 2 goals in 12 games. Knuble - 3 goals in 53 games.

Speaking of 52… from our seats in the Verizon Center, we saw Mike Green double-up on this hit to Brent Connolly.  We could not see his elbow and there was no replay or penalty, so we had no idea Mike was misbehaving.  What did people do before Twitter?

This is really what the Caps need with back-to-back games this weekend.  Do you want to see Hamrlik and Schultz as a defense pairing?  Are the Caps worried that we’ll be bored if they win before overtime?

While I’m at it, Semin is a disaster – and on this team right now it’s tough to stand out for that.  The six year old kid who played in the intermission Mites on Ice game looked a lot like Sasha Fierce, except that he had a goal.  Maybe we could throw a 28 on him and no one would notice… until he scores.

The Caps play Boston (Sat), Toronto (Sun), NYI (Tues) and Winnpeg (Fri) this week.  People have been saying “must win” for weeks now – Washington is running out of time to prove them wrong.

Press three for Intern Jeff Skinner.

Mike was as excited as Gator and I about the Caps putting together a serious, solid win.  Ovi had a goal (haven’t typed that in a long time), Nicky and Jeff Halpern each 1 G/1 A, Troy Brouwer had a Gordie Howe hat trick and iCarly rocked 1 G/2 A.  That’s two three-point games in a row for John!  Someone told him Gator wants points for Christmas.  He had a beast of a game and was named First Star.

Santa's coming?! I know him!!

Sasha Fierce missed two games with a minor shoulder injury, and was back in the lineup last night with 15+ min of ice time.  No points for Semin (in his last 5 games), but dear God we can’t have everything!  Settle for the Caps’s PK clicking, killing 6 of 7 minors.  Overall their PK ranks 24th in the NHL – and it’s usually Sasha in the box anyway.  Could it be the Capitals are getting back on track?

Favorite fake Twitter of the day.

Tweeting while biking it’s easy (I once texted Gator from the elliptical, almost resulted in me going on injured reserve), but it’s worth it.  Last night gave everyone a lot of hope, something the Caps sorely need.  Now if they can string together a few wins under Hunter, Ovi can figure his shit out and Mikey can get back in the lineup, we’ll be in business.  And if he can’t play, at least he should cheer where we can hear/read it.

Favorite real Twitter of the day.

(Instances in which I will forgive the your vs. you’re error are limited to big wins, hockey players and social media.  And so begin my dropping standards.)

It’s the same sort of surprise when you fall out of a tree hit the ground.  It was probably inevitable, but you’re still a little shocked to find that this is the time.   You thought it might take longer, maybe the laws of gravity would alter.  Maybe someone would catch you.

Sorry, very busy.

Let me preface this with an Unpopular Hockey Opinion:

I strongly dislike Alex Ovechkin.

Obviously I have some kind of Mike Green-and-geography induced Stockholm Syndrome going on that makes me a Caps fan.  And Ovi can be an electric player whose raw talent raises the game of his teammates.  I can’t say I hate him.  But I think his lackadaisical attitude permeates the Caps and makes his teammates salmon swimming upstream against the blahs.  Except Semin, who busts out his inner tube and cruises the Lazy River.

Now, before Dawn calls in a hit on me, this is not permanent.  Ovi shows flashes of greatness that have nothing to do with the way he scores – he can lead this team.  Most nights he simply chooses not to.  And that’s why BB had to go – he couldn’t lead Ovi.  Ovi’s contract and personality make him more powerful than the head coach.  Or at least they did.

So while I generally despise the firing of head coaches to shake up teams, I think GMGM made the correct and necessary move here.  If Dale Hunter comes in with a take-no-shit attitude, he could zip this team into the superhero suit they should be wearing.  Ovi made BB look bad.  This is what happens to people who make Hunter look bad:

I am also in favor of taking the C from Ovi.  If you’re making waves, might as well make ’em big.  I believe the C belongs to the hardest working guy on a team – not necessarily the highest profile or most prolific scorer.  I don’t recall anyone ever saying that about Ovi.  (Hate on Crosby all you want, but….)  Brooks Laich or Mike Knuble seem like better candidates to me.  And it would send a clear message that Hunter and McPhee lead this team, not The Usually, Mostly, If He Feels Like It Great 8.  Piss him off.  Make Ovi earn the C back and he’d be unstoppable.

PS: I know there are more issues with the Caps that just Ovi, but I believe in trickle-down solutions.

1) He’s not skating [link].  Boudreau hopeful Mike will be able to skate by the end of this week.

2) The Caps are kinda falling apart.  Semin’s demoted to 4th line and may be a healthy scratch vs. Phoenix tonight [link].  They’ve lost 6 of 7 games, giving up 27 goals in the process.  Defenseman Dmitry Orlov was called up to help stop the bleeding.

3) I’m running out of things to post, but trying to stay positive.

Oh to see this again.

The only conclusion is COME BACK, MIKE.  Obviously the world needs you.

First of all, the warm-up skate.  Mike Green, no helmet, cruising around like the Fresh Prince in Summertime – “Two miles an hour so everybody sees you.”  Yes, he’s fresh from the barber shop and basketball courts in the summer got girls there.  I am telling you this guy does his hair with a mascara wand.

Bonus Round: Troy Brouwer.  Gator might be trading in both halves of Carlzer for the new guy.  Welcome to DC!

And the Hurricanes.  As I Tweeted, Eric Staal in person is a MAJOR AWARD.  Carolina, you are now at the top of the WUYS Road Trip List.

And Intern Jeff Skinner is… such an intern.  He can’t stop moving (not for a second) and just runs around the ice like a puppy who ate a whole birthday cake, grinning from ear to ear.  We might have to start paying him for being so adorbs.

Then the game.  EStaal gave my fantasy team 2 goals and 1 assist, and Intern Jeff Skinner had 3 assists.  Show off!  It wasn’t enough though because every Capital had a point.  Sasha Fierce scored on this sick breakaway pass from iCarly [link]:

Brooks scored on a wrister from Ovi & Nicky [link], and Nicky had a couple of big hits in the game.  Everyone was on the board and I said to Gator, “All we need now is a Mike to score on a pass from Nicky!”  Right?!  This whole “I control the universe” thing is getting a little out of control.  The Canes tied the game with just 1:19 to play and then in overtime, this happened:

From stam-bam-thankyou-maam.tumblr.com

Yes, that’s Mike with the OT winner from Nicky just like I ordered.  And Wideman  for the fantasy team bonus!.  In real life it looked like:

I tackled Gator.  It was pandemonium and Mike was First Star AGAIN.  That’s two games in a row!  GAME OVER, thank you very much.  Mikey post-game interview here.  Post game Pants & Gator:

Tonight, it’s Stammertime.  We won’t even know which way to look.

Sorry for the double-Ovi today but Sasha!! Giggles!

I hung around Verizon for about 30 min yesterday after the Nationals game, deciding if I should spend way too much money on a hockey ticket or save it for Game 5.  If there is a Game 5.  There has to be, right?  Well good thing I didn’t go because I would have cried.

Halfway through the third, Squishy tried to pass through the crease.  The puck hit Mike’s skate like a backboard and went right in behind Neuvy.  It could have happened to anyone.  Lecavalier was right there with a wide open net anyway.  But UGH, Mike looked so sad looking up at the Jumbotron.

Shortly after, Mike took a bad penalty for sticking his elbow in Steven Stamkos’ face.  Someone’s been reading WUYS and got a little jealous over my fangirling Friday night.  Stammer weighs like 180, he wasn’t going to crush anyone into the boards.  But Mikey facewashed him anyway (because I said I like his beard).

Photo from jlrpuck.tumblr.com

I couldn’t watch to power play, too worried that TB would score again.  The Caps did kill it off (thank heaven) and Ovi got a beauty of a Hail Mary to send the game to overtime.  New hope, right?

Nope.  Lecavalier scored in OT to put the Bolts up by two games.  The Caps just can’t get a bounce!  Boucher will keep talking like they are underdogs and fighting an uphill battle and… oh shut up.  If you’re going to play great and convert on every opportunity then at least own it.

Shake it off, Mike.  If you’re sad then Nicky and Brooksy are sad and Sasha’s hair is so 90s that he can only take so much post-Cold War dreariness.  You’ll take the whole bromance down.  So have yourself a group hug, get iCarly to photobomb someone and you’ll feel better.  Work on your already suspicious tan in Florida and just relax.  Wins are coming.  We can feel it.  And some people can STFU, thankyouverymuch.

And sorry ladies, I wouldn’t room with Brooksy, too ODC for me!

Ive got the dark and broody thing down pat girls!

The Caps needs some love and they got it in the form of sexy #44 from New Jersey who waived his no-trade clause in February go to Washington and serve as a strong center for BB and Capt. Ovi!

Now we just need a shot of that in a Caps Jersey!

He’s the only one on the team with a cup under his belt and has put a ring on it (oops besides Knuble)! That shows he has faith in the Caps and we have faith in #44 because in the short time he’s been there, he’s done that! He’s scored his 400 th career goal and made a huge difference helping put the Fierce back in Sasha Fierce!

Why is Jason the only one NOT shirtless? Does he not know THE RULES?

BTW – in the photo above, both Sashas have to be standing on something!

He shares his birthday with Pants, October 11 but not the year! So he’s a Libra like her and I.

He began his NHL career with the Edmonton Oilers  in 1993–94 after being selected seventh overall in the 1993 NHL Entry Draft and was named to the NHL All-Rookie Team. A two-time NHL All-Star, Arnott won the Stanley Cup with the New Jersey Devils in 2000, scoring the championship-winning goal in the second overtime of game six so the play-off experience will definitely come in handy!

You are FOXY! And were glad youre a Cap now!

He’s 6’5″ and 220! That’s alot of hunky hot man meat! He’s married but that shouldn’t count him out of the hottie patrol here! We can still love him from a far!

So we salute you Mr. Arnott for coming to Washington and award with this week’s FOXY FRIDAY! and hope to see you raise the cup once more only this time in a Caps jersey!

*Editor’s Note from Chuck*

Sorry, Dawn, but I had to photo bomb your post.  How could you have forgotten this gem?

Scrub-a-dub, ladies.

*puddleofelove*

sexy time

And last but not least – Ovi caps the magically numerical night off with a non-numercial goal – number 30 for number 8 but has a magical ass dance to win in OT!

Mr. Cherrie and I were THAT couple in our local Pub – you know the ones – I was wearing my Caps shirt and he was wearing his Ryan Miller jersey. But we live in Seattle so the irony was lost on EVERYONE. Oh well. We had our own kiss cam when each team scored a goal. Or should I say, neither one of us are very good winner/losers! It’s one of the few times we have to agree to disagree. Buffalo is his team. Always has been, always will be.



this sometimes happens when we aren't watching hockey!

Now you see me, in a second, you won't.

What would have happened if GM GM would have traded one of his most valuable ass-ets? We know he can’t trade first Sasha but thank the hockey gods he didn’t trade second Sasha and instead got everyone some awesome support. Now GM GM, WHERE’S MY GOALIE – because sweet Neuvy took it in the face tonight and Varly has been suspiciously absent – no complaint here about that but Holtby isn’t exactly who we need in right now. Just sayin’.

Because from rubbing Poe’s belly, I’m prognosticating something shiny, silver, tall and a lord for the Caps come June-ish if things keep going this way.

It must take hours to amass so many exhibits for our bromance case files, right?  Wrong.  Two minute search people. And the bromance isn’t picky: Ovi, Nicky, Brooks, Sasha… Mikey loves them all.  Or they all love him.

Take a load off, Ovi.

We're gonna hug.

You know they watch Titanic together.

I heard you give good hugs.

So much love, it almost makes you like the Capitals.  No?  Perhaps one more?

The hug is reality.

Take that you little French bastard ...

The bad news you say, the rumor mill is grinding again that GM-GM (GM George McPhee) is looking to trade Sasha Fierce (Semin) again for – God knows what – probably NOT A GOALIE. Since word is they feel they have solid goaltending. Say what? This makes me a very sad panda because I love me both Sashas.

the other sasha ...Sasha Fierce! Oh Snap!

Hopefully my view in SJ!

The Caps finally snap their regulation losing streak against Pacific Division teams this season beating the Ducks 7-6! Semin had his FOURTH hat trick of the season (video). He is one of only two players in the NHL right now with that honor. For a dude with a scoring drought, he certainly knows how to come back from them with style!

vodka shots for EVERYONE!

NOT Ovi's goal

I’m just getting warmed up for SJ. Packing bags, putting on the lucky sweats and the magic necklace – oh – you all didn’t SEE THAT. Well, that will be another post. Pants will let you know if she survives 24 hours with me!

THE RUSSIAN MACHINE

I love Canadians because they gave us hockey and aspirin with codeine without a prescription, but living in the most pass-aggressive city in the U.S. I know when I’m being told to piss off! Living close to the border, you’d think that we’d get lot’s of hockey here but you’d be wrong. U.S. NW peeps are NOT hockey lovers. When given the opportunity of a life time to see Men’s Olympic Hockey, the Canadian’s scared the crap out of the U.S. citizens warning us of long lines at the border and the fact that we were not worthy of Men’s Ice Hockey tickets – so forget it!

But I was not so easily daunted. My love for Ovi was too great. Someone had to represent for those non-Canadian players. So we drove the 2 and half hours and found to our amazement, no border wait! It was like a McDonald’s drive through but with no “May I help you?” When asked at the border why we were going into Canada, the border guard laughed in our faces that we thought we would get Men’s Ice Hockey tickets.

And it gets even better, we picked the day that the U.S., Canada and Russia were playing. We raced down the ‘CANADA HOCKEY PLACE’ what they renamed GM Place where the Canucks play, to try to score tickets to the U.S. game, they wanted face value for the game even after the first period! HELLO! I don’t think so.

So we decided to go the box office and see if actual tickets were available. Now, don’t get me wrong, Team Canada had some lovely players, Martin Broduer is one of my favorite honeys, and I have a certain weakness for goalies, and I cried when he was replaced by Snidley Whiplash (AKA Robert Luongo) but I was there to see the BEST HOCKEY PLAYER IN THE WORLD – ALEXANDER OVECHKIN.

My first priority at $125 a ticket was to see if there were any tickets available for Russia vs. Slovakia. There were  about 5 seats still available! HOLY H-E – DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS! Two were front row.

You have got to be kidding me?! We stood there stunned in silence because we really had resigned ourselves to sitting in a bar, watching the game with a bunch of drunk Canadians who had been too polite to say anything too rude to me about my Ovechkin Eastern Conference All-star Jersey other than, “Ovechkin?! Ovechkin?! …. Ahhhh .. yeah. He’s pretty good.” Seriously. That is the best a Canadian can come up with to slander Ovechkin.  So we bought the tickets and I did the Dance of Joy – Balky –style!

We had a clear view as you can see of my beautiful photo of OVI. I also have a lovely shot of his FABULOUS butt too! I don’t want to discuss the multiple missed shoot-out shots … that was a terrible, terrible dream! And let’s just say that it was a good thing the Canadian’s were really, really drunk from their win earlier in the day from – let’s be honest – A SHOOT OUT WIN OVER SWITZLERLAND?  

Anyway, we had to do the walk of shame up Robson Street to get to the tram to get back to our car for the long drive home. But it was one of the BEST HOCKEY experiences a hockey fan could ever have. And shame on the Canadians for making the U.S. hockey fan think we didn’t have a chance to share in the HOCKEY LOVE. Cause we did!

And one more thing, I find it VERY interesting.  Only AFTER CANADA hosts the Olympics, the NHL is considering no longer allowing NHL players to play in the Olympics …And guess where the 2014 Olympics are? SOCHI, RUSSIA ! Hate OVI Much?

We also got a warm up puck and I have to say, Sergei Fedorov was kind of hot too … And yes, this is MY photo because that was how freakin’ close I was and it was probably good there was plexiglass between me and him because it took an astronomical amount of self-restraint to not cause an international incident.