The Penguins have already found the perfect off-ice role for Pascal Dupuis: Team Dad. It would explain a lot about how attractive this team is. I mean, Potash’s Reba McEntire wig didn’t make this:

Is anything more 90’s than spray deodorant?

That’s a lot of fun for a team that can’t win a freaking game.

Actual photo of the NHL team standings

The Sharks, reigning kings of the Holiday Video, know how good they are. This year they’ve made it an event. Five behind-the-scenes videos a la VH1’s Behind the Music – three here, and two more yet to come (today and 12/24).

They are really committed to this – already nearly 8 minutes of content and not a smile cracked on camera. Well, except for mine when I saw Chuck’s #1 Dream Combination come true for a single, still second:

Objection. More 90’s than spray deodorant: Joe Thornton and *N Sync.

There is also a contest to win an appearance in their 2016 video. I love that they’re thinking about next year when we haven’t even see this year’s yet.

That #2 team in the NHL, the Capitals, chose to spoof A Christmas Story, and it’s glorious. [Video] They basically put glasses on everyone who could be improved by them.

Fa-ra-ra-ra-raaaaaah…

And those who couldn’t, well…

Does the Easter Bunny visit Russia?

The Flames went right for the low-hanging fruit: the ugly NHL Christmas sweater. They helpfully feature all five (!) of the Flames ugly sweater designs. (We feel you, Rover.) Chuck’s poor, beloved Dougie Hamilton wins/loses this one – that a lot of yellow even if he weren’t a ginger. Luckily, a cameo by Brandon Bollig’s abs make Christmas the day of giving all over again.

The Senators also broke out the ugly sweaters… sort of. How many hairstyles got made for these little LEGO guys?

Overall, that gets a meh. But the coach should definitely say “Karl” more often. I wasn’t sure he was talking to the only other guy in the scene.

The Canucks went to musical route but, unlike the Habs, left the heavy lifting to other people. Smart move. I may despise The Sound of Music and only understand 20% of the references here, but it’s well done.

And anytime a music video allows hockey players to break the Nick Carter Rule (no freestyle dancing, you dork), we are in.

Speaking of singing and, er, dancing, I’m just going to let the Blues video speak sing for itself.

Stick to what you’re good at, Blues. So, basically this (photo from @BedGear):

Alison printed this out and showed it to Santa.

Many teams that didn’t produce videos found other ways to spread holiday cheer. The Islanders did some toy shopping for delivery to a local hospital. The Blackhawks did a hospital visit, and the Wild too. I stopped counting after that. The Devils don’t have a video, but Adam Henrique still went out in search of another human that shares his affinity for elf culture.

Celebratory cheekbones

Did we miss any? We’d hate for Santa to leave anyone off his list! You know there’s something extra under the tree for anyone who embarrasses themselves for the sake of our entertainment.

Update: From the AHL’s Providence Bruins, here’s Max Talbot and Co. after raiding Henrique’s closet.

Bonus points for the matching tie.

Update #2, from Natalie: Not-team related, but we’ll post because Roman Josi can have our column whenever he wants it. Also, I require an explanation of these pants.

From @rjosi90

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, friends. May your days be merry and bright – and your nights full of your team earning points.

(To those of you lobbying for a Cam Talbot feature, you’ll have to wait until they are playing someone I hate in the post-season. I’m not about to let Foxy Friday accidentally help a Ranger right now.)

Not every team’s fate is sealed, but we’re being reasonable with Wild Card possibilities. This likely means someone will go 9-0 and ruin our lives. Forgoing teams that could still make it (Bruins, FlapAntlers), here’s a last look at the Eastern Conference foxes we’ll miss come April 12. Enjoy them while you can.

Philadelphia Flyers

I WON’T MISS YOU. I don’t care how ginger you are, how curly, how shirtlessly beer pong proficient. Two more games vs Pittsburgh will be plenty, thanks. I don’t think about you when you’re not here.

But if UFA MDZ signs elsewhere, I might be allowed to miss him a little.  We’ll have to see how this skate-gash-to-the-neck (warning: gross photo) heals, because we’re only pretending to believe his “I got bitten by a shark” story for one scar. And we’re still waiting for him to request our help in finding dates.

New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique’s cheekbones lead the team with 40 points this season, and he’s all smiles in this post-game interview from early March.  Maybe he could play baseball in the off-season, after this play.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Ryan “Shameless Charming Kid Prop” Johansen deserved  his own Foxy Friday after the All-Star Game. I mean, the Flying V? What else does a guy have to do? Blame Ekblad.  But someday, Ry – probably right around when you take this girl to the prom.

If you want to speed up the process, stop wearing hats. Because:

Carolina Hurricanes

After they beat the Pens 257-2 last night (close enough), I am not inclined to include the Hurricanes in this post. But Intern Jeff Skinner already volunteered to work all summer, since… well, you know. And I am weak. Plus someone needs to censor what Jeff does while wearing a white t-shirt.

Don’t just give it away, Jeff! You’re not a Kardashian. (Also, he’s scared of rides at the fair. He just wants to wait in line with you and hold your purse. We are raising this guy right.)

Honorable Mention: Jordan Staal. He reminded us yesterday that he still exists/is handsome. Video @penguins.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t think anyone will miss the Leafs this season, especially because our favorite Leaf is Elisha Cuthbert and she’s back on our TV. (You can watch One Big Happy here.) The Leafs are definitely not one big anything, unless it’s a steaming pile of mess, and there is no happy. Even Joffrey Lupul is posting sad lyrics as status updates, like a maudlin 10th grader. [song]

But at least when the season ends, he still looks like this.

HOLD UP. Did you know you can rate Joffrey’s outfits and raise money for charity?! How have we never known this, we’ve just been doing it for free! Our work, going to waste! Visit lupulstyle.com to vote.

Buffalo Sabres

Poor Zach Bogosian, getting traded to Buffalo. Update NY still loves flannel and fried chicken, though.

At least he’s not alone. Marcus Foligno wants to know if, while you were watching his brother captain a squad of drafting drunks at the All-Star Game, you thought about the cold, windswept blue of his eyes [video]:

No? Well, there’s always next year. And alllllllllll summer. Next week we’ll say goodbye to what’s left of the West, then it’s on to the playoffs we go.

The cold kind of always bothered me anyway.

And hello to their off-season golf shorts, boats-on-lakes and selfies.  Amirite?

Who will carry on this proud tradition while Gabe makes the post-season?

Before it’s over, a last look at some players we haven’t looked at in a while.

Adam Henrique

Someone just asked for more Adam Henrique around here and we are nothing if not obliging.  Did you know Adam was named one of the NHL’s Three Stars of the Week twice this month?  He was #2 the week ending March 2, with three consecutive multi-point games and the team lead in PPG and SHG.  Then he was #2 the week ending March 9, scoring a League-leading 5 goals to round out a 6-game streak with 9 total goals.  It took him to the team lead in goals (23), which he now shares with Jagr.

The week ending March 16, Adam didn’t win anything.  But he did look like this and we think that’s worthy of applause.

(SI.com: The Devils could still make the playoffs.)

The Oilers

Pound Puppies.  From the high to the low – no Oilers are winning any prizes these days, unless it’s a summertime lifeboat trade off the Titanic.  Edmonton’s lost their last three by scores of 5-2 (Sharks), 8-1 (Flames) and 3-1 (Sabres).  The Calgary game was especially ugly, featuring another fed up fan throwing a jersey onto the ice.  And Ben Scrivens throwing it back.

Edmonton Journal story: Scrivens defends the logo.

His aim is pretty good – maybe he should be a forward.

Speaking of forwards with good er, bad aim, Taylor Hall slammed a water bottle and soaked coach David Tennant Dallas Eakins.  It looks far less dramatic than it sounds, and why does every Canadian news outlet link to this crappy YouTube?  Are you saying even in Canada no one was watching Flames vs. Oilers?  Now that carries some sting.

Both #TeamHallsy and Coach Eakins spoke of diffusing the situation [link].  It doesn’t change the numbers (EJ: RNH, Eberle, Ference second-half slumps), the standings or anything but what the team may look like when October comes around again.

Intern Jeff Skinner

Aw, Skins.  He leads the Canes with 27 goals, just four off the pace of his Calder Trophy-winning rookie season.  Everyone said he scored so many (then sophomore slumped so hard) because defenders realized they needed to defend him.  Either they’ve forgotten again or Jeff’s beating them – either way, nice rebound.  The off-season could bring big changes for the Canes coaches and players, with Jeff rumored to be on the trading block [link].

This job ain’t easy.

Jordan Staal

A name I haven’t said in ages, Jordan has 15 goals and 39 points.  It could almost look good compared to his trade counterpart Brandon Sutter’s 11G/13P.  Then you wake up and realize BSutts plays for the Penguins and Jordan is a Hurricane.  They were really going to be something, right?  I thought them a bubble team at least.  Maybe next year, or any one of the other contract years Jordan didn’t want $60 million to play 3rd line Pittsburgh center and ever see the post-season.

Tumblr caption, better than mine.

Shea Weber

Without the Olympics, and specifically ping pong, I might have forgotten about Shea Weber entirely this season.  Until playoffs of course, when I will miss his scraggly man-beard and erudite caveman spectacles.  He leads Nashville with 46P, and has a team-second 18G.  18 goals from a defenseman (3rd in the NHL) almost leads your team.  Oy vey.  At least the Predators have the sense to host a wine festival on April 24 – no players advertised to attend though, their season will be long over by then.

Mesmerized and Terrified: The Dan Hamhuis Story

Bobby Ryan

Just announced: Bobby will miss the rest of the season for sports hernia surgery [link].  He’s been playing injured since November until a last straw in Saturday’s game vs. Dallas.  Still, he leads the Senators with a career-low 23 goals.  Read that again.  Consider the Ducks’ 99 points and 46-18-7 record.  You could have let the guy play in the damned Olympics, at least!  Instead Bobby spent the Olympic break getting engaged (sigh) in Paris (double sigh) and then (we assume) reuniting with his cats in a moment worthy of Homeward Bound.

John Tavares

Welp.  Even without his season-ending injury in Sochi it would soon be time to say summer to our favorite hot middle school science teacher and part-time model.  We leave you with this for remembrance purposes:

(Seriously HOW have I never seen that before?)

 Michael Del Zotto

I almost left him off – it’s been a rough year – until he joined Instagram while I was writing this. (Practically true – instagram.com/MDZofficial.)  Could this be the man carrying the boats-and-selfies banner?  I would not complain.  Just watch out for sharks.

Don’t know what this is from, don’t care.

While we’d like to see some of these guys play into May or beyond, this is not the time of year to be nice.  There’s no room for 3rd and 4th favorites, for interns or Cinderella stories when my heart is full of so much…  excitement?  Is that what this is?  Fear?  Hope?  Bile the color of Flyers’ jerseys?  Just wondering gives me chest pains.  Other teams will miss the playoffs (please don’t be the Caps, she whispers) and we’ll talk about them when they do.  For now, it’s still anybody else’s game.

There were a few bright spots, like Will Arnett.  Especially when he shanabanned Ovi for blocking Brooks Laich’s parking spot and sentencing him to ride on the back of Mike Green’s scooter.

WHY CAN’T THIS BE REAL LIFE?

While peering between our fingers at the anguish of embarrassment onstage, we of course noted how well-dressed and handsome most of the NHL looked.  After months of beards that would get a guy double-frisked at the airport, it’s a reminder that hockey players clean up pretty nicely.  Here are some of our favorite fashion moves:

THE PLAID

If you Google “Giroux plaid suit,” three of the top six results are from this blog. No joke.  That’s 42% – the same percentage of Claude Giroux‘s clothes that are plaid.  Coincidence?  He wore this to Media Day:

One plaid is not enough.

Of course, the plaid-tasticness on display at the Awards ceremony, where Claude was announced as the EA Sports NHL13 cover winner.  He said, “I’m not sure I’m a model.”  Only because celebs don’t get photographed wearing the same clothes every damned day.

Claude did bring something new to the show – BizNasty.  This was my favorite moment of the Red Carpet because all three of them were thinking the same thing (as the rest of us): Sex tape.

THE VEST

This is by far our favorite fashion trend.  Adam Henrique has been wearing this three-piece suit for weeks now – hey, he had to do a lot of playoff pressers.  Here’s hoping he’s got a whole closet full of them.  The purple tie/lavender shirt combo is trending without being obnoxious.  While he didn’t win the Calder, he still looks like a Major Award.

The last time Steven Stamkos won a Rocket Richard Trophy, he wore a shiny silver suit.  It was okay if you really like Ben Stiller’s character from Dodgeball, but Stammer also had to stand next to Crosby the whole time.  This year, he knew just how to hog the spotlight:

I missed the part where he dipped Cheryl Burke to the floor and blushed like a bride. (Chuck did not.  It was swoon-inducing.)  Probably a good thing, I can only handle so much Stamkos smiling.  Erin Andrews approves:

THE SKINNY TIE

Tuesday, Gabriel Landeskog joked about wearing a bow tie to the Awards.  It would have been nice knowing you, melted interwebs.

Alas, Gabe chose this hipster skinny tie and while it is just a tad too short, you can’t even be disappointed with the way he looks.

Gabe the Babe

Landeskog dedicated his Calder Trophy win to his grandfather, making us all cry.  So many emotions and landeskoging – good thing we’re already teenage girls on the inside. [video] Also, Charlie Conway/Pacey Whitter presented the award.  Time to break out the Cruel Intentions DVD, we think.

THE NO-TIE

We know Evgeni Malkin loves the casual look, from his parade of questionable t-shirts.  But Geno brought his A-game to the Awards, sporting the open-collar, “I could be in the Mafia” look to pick up all his awards – the Lindsay, Hart and Art Ross Trophies, as well as our special award for being the Most Adorable Panda.

If this doesn’t make you squee, check your emotion chip because your android brain is malfunctioning.

THE F-BOMB

Oh, come on!  We all said it when we saw Henrik Lundqvist.  So what if he dropped it on TV, it’s not like you were on NBC or anything.    They should make him a special edition Vezina Trophy that’s just a mirror.  A big one.

THE MAYBE NEXT YEAR

Apparently it takes a few days for a $45.5 million check to clear, or Erik Karlsson would have had a new suit.  We’ll give him a pass because winning the Norris Trophy at 22 is kind of a big deal.  However we suggest this hot-pink-and-black look be reserved for a cool pair of custom sneakers or an ironic prom.  It’s too shiny.  The pants were bordering on high-waters.  That shirt burns our irises.

Also, the Uncle Rico mustache has to go.  Call us in September before NHL Media Day, please.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

ADDITION: ACK! I was expecting Chuck to add Bergeron and I forgot to remind her!  Patrice and his Selke Award were equally flawless last night… and holy cow, his girlfriend is a fox too.  *Sigh*  Some people have all the luck.  He is beyond classy.

Did we miss anyone?  We were a little busy planning our outfits for this shitshow next year, because there is no excuse to stay home.

Missing it this year was a turrible awful mistake on our parts.  It will never happen again.  Maybe Karlsson should keep the pink shirt so I can point and laugh while Mike Green carries away the Norris… okay, I’m getting delusional.

Back to looking at stilettos…

Well, sometimes you disappoint when you shave your goatee into a mustache that means you’re not allowed within 100 feet of a playground.

But then, you score the goal that keeps your team’s dream alive:

And somehow, magically, in the post-game your ‘stache has is approaching the border between ‘okay’ and ‘OKAY?!’

Our cries of, “WTH, who shaves in the playoffs?” were for nothing.  Shaving in the playoffs is the new black.  Henrique ditches the goatee, scores the GWG.  Clarkson removes his beautiful ruddy beard and gets an assist.  The entire Devils squad will be shorn for Game 5.

from www.aeryssports.com

As you know, Henrique scored the series-ending double OT goal vs. Florida and the series-ending single OT (boring!) goal vs. New York.  The Calder Trophy voting for Rookie of the Year is only supposed to encompass the regular season – have they already voted?  It’s completely unfair if they haven’t, since neither Nugent-Hopkins or Landeskog reached the post-season.  Still, how can this performance not count?!  There’s no impartial jury out there now.

I felt bad that so many people paid so much money to see their team win at home – I dream of this someday being me.  That was quickly outweighed by my selfish desire for hockey season to last all year.  What else can make us so deliriously happy, gut-wrenchingly sad and seat-shiftingly uncomfortable?

Mike Richards.  Chuck called him a “dark swarthy pirate of love” for this look.  I think he’s starting to resemble an Ewok in the Witness Protection Program.  Pierre, of course, is on a first date.  Watch him do the ‘casual arm-swing’ hoping to brush against Mike.  We know all your tricks, little man!!  He’s going to walk Mike right to his door and hope to be invited in.

ACK.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, back to work for both teams Saturday night.  It’s a chance for the Devils to really make this one interesting, or the Kings to extend their record road-game streak.  Either way, I’m glad to get one more game out of this season.

Again? High five.

Last year, zero Calder Trophy finalists were featured as Foxy Fridays.  Not even Rookie of My Life Logan Couture, and not counting the time Jeff posted a picture of himself holding a baby.  Zero legitimate Foxy Fridays.

This year, we’re giving them out like candy.  First Landeshirtless over there in Sweden, and that was just for falling on his face.  Now, and perhaps the most deserved Foxy Friday of the year: Adam Henrique.

We could give him three separate Fridays, really – one for his face, one for his goatee and one for this sweatshirt.  Do the Devils live in a pajama factory?  Can we go to there?  Throw in a couple of heart-stopping, dream-ruining goals and Adam could get a whole month of Fridays.

As we said in our Puck Daddy Beard Watch post, we are BIG FANS of this goatee.  He looks like the devil from a movie, who talks you into all kinds of really good bad ideas.  Right?  He’s all, “Hi, I’m Adam,” and you’re like:

(Intern Jeff Skinner just threw down his notebook and stormed out.)

Henrique grew up on a farm in Ontario – not sod, but still.  What goes on up there?!  He spent last season with my hometown-ish Albany Devils.  After a rough 2011 training camp, Adam was sent back to Albany, just to be recalled a week later to replace an injured player.  He stayed put in NJ and had 16 G/35 A in the regular season.

Don’t worry, this was his September hair.

He was named to the 2012 NHL All-Star Rookie team, but missed the event due to a groin injury.  Double bummer, as his family would have been there.  NYR’s Carl Hagelin replaced him and got a Foxy Friday out of it.  Cheater.

Cheekbones aside, Henrique is having a heck of  a playoff.  He scored the double-OT, game seven winner to eliminate Florida and move the Devils to Round 2 for the first time in five years.  Then he scored the game six OT winner that ended the Rangers season.  Did we mention he’s a rookie?

On that goal, NJ advanced to the Stanley Cup Final for the first time in nine years.  Does anyone know the record for most playoff series-ending OT goals in a season?  I bet it’s two.  And they both feel like:

SCF Game 1 didn’t go NJ’s way, but still needed OT to be decided.  Here are Zajac and AH talking about the loss [video].  It’s mopey – we recommend admiring his hairline instead.  It’s the most perfect example since *N Sync’s plastic helmet hair in the “It’s Gonna Be Me” video (BRB, dance break).

Instead here’s Adam failing the NJ Devils History Quiz – he’d never make it in a pageant – then contesting the results [video].  He even knocks Wikipedia.  Shall we go over there and add to his page?

Saturday Night is date night with Adam and Game 2 at 8 PM Eastern.  The Kings have won 211 nine straight playoff road games.  A win in New Jersey tomorrow would give them the NHL record for longest streak.  Remember though, the Devils lost the first games to both Philly and New York.  While those teams works on their tans, New Jersey and Los Angeles will step back into the ring.

You, feel free to wear your pajamas.

Sweatshirt appreciation, courtesy of fromtheblueline.tumblr.com.

Helpful Hint: Pronounce the “H” in Henrique.  Adam does. [video]

Obviously, we’re slightly biased because we pretty much eat, sleep, and breathe hockey since we’ve started this blog.  I mean, not like we didn’t follow hockey closely before WUYS but we’ve progressed to a Beautiful-Mind-writing-on-the-window level of crazy.  But I honestly believe that there is no greater trophy in the history of sport.

Yesterday was the Stanley Cup Finals Media Day, when all the players don their Tuesday best (hooded sweatshirts), trims up their playoff beards (except Dustin Penner), and face the press gauntlet.

Not only does the day allow writers to ask important (and totally ridiculous) questions of the players but it provides us with amazing photos of playoff beards.

Here are some highlights from yesterday’s Media Day at Prudential Center.

• Dustin Penner.  This beard is a fluffy mess.  And I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

Got a craving for some Penncakes.

• Just when you thought Mike Richards couldn’t get any dreamier, he goes and does this.

Dustin Brown. Fully committed to this Amish look.

*harumph* *crosses arms*

A beard like a beautiful sunset

Faustian.

Richards and I ’bout to tear this mutha up!

You’re welcome.  

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/05/30/stanley-cup-finals-beard-appreciation-post/feed/ 5 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/05/25/our-post-on-puck-daddy-nhl-playoff-beard-watch-unsung-unshaven-heroes/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/05/25/our-post-on-puck-daddy-nhl-playoff-beard-watch-unsung-unshaven-heroes/#comments Fri, 25 May 2012 13:30:05 +0000 http://whatsupyasieve.com/?p=10732 The stage is nearly set for the ultimate NHL showdown. The Devils and Rangers battle it out at center stage while the Kings wait in the offing for their opponent to be named. It’s a long, hard fight to be among the last teams standing. Every one inch is earned.

This week, we salute the beards of some Unsung Unshaven Heroes. Marquee name or rookie sensation, it doesn’t matter what their contracts say now.

They fight on – and the proof of is all over their faces.

Read more [HERE]…

511-plus minutes worth of bruises, stitches and scrapes