I may have been overly enthusiastic in my reply:

My boss, not surprised by my exuberance, replied:

Hahahahaha.  This from a woman who knows I’m in my office blogging all day.

Getting to the gold medal game was no easy feat for Canada.  Getting up at 7 AM on a Sunday was not easy for me.  Good thing we both brought our A games.

If I scripted yesterday’s gold medal match, it would go something like:

Jonathan Toews scores the first goal.  Squint and you can see his superhero outfit showing around the edges of his hockey gear.  There is nothing not to love and admire about the way Jon plays game.  He is a hero – his goal the game-winner, his heart the fiercest.

See, I sound like some Disney schmaltz already.

Then, without scoring a goal in the entire Olympic tournament, Sidney Crosby would find himself on a breakaway and put one past the goalie.  The Rangers goalie.  He doesn’t have to score to be Sid but damn it would feel good to shut people up.

After that he’d lose his helmet, just in case you didn’t remember what you were dreaming about before the early morning alarm.

At the break, some genius would drown out Milbury and Roenick with a shot of John Tavares looking sharp in a suit.  Gone is Friday’s ugly striped tie.  We’ll credit his adorable girlfriend with that one – now she’s really got the best seat in the house.

Canada would steer, if not quite dominate, the game – enough to allow my heart rate to drop below DEFCON ONE.  In the third, just to crush any comeback hopes, much-maligned Chris Kunitz would get his first goal of the Olympics.  Too little, too late?  Sock monkey, don’t care.

When the buzzer sounded, joy would erupt.  Hugs would fly.  Toews would fall on his ass in the net in celebration.

Aaaaaand there’s a GIF of this. Bless everyone.

Sid would do this.

PK Subban would emerge in full gear and help John make it onto the ice without crutches.

The anthem would play.  Medals would be distributed.  Toews would smile and derp at the same time, a combination previously thought impossible by science.

Jamie Benn would have a haircut and a bit of a shiner, practically raising his hand in the front row and begging to be Foxy Friday.

John would be the most polite person on Earth.

Thankyounod.

Sid would get teased, right up until they put that medal around his neck.

There would be moments to pluck your heartstrings:

Hair to envy:

And smiles for days.

My favorites would all line up, John’s pain over the season-ending injury would be eased and Matt Duchene would be gracefully grateful for his chance to step into the lineup.

And after, Team Canada would stay for the closing ceremonies.  Their victorious captain would do a mad dash backstage, searching for a pair of black pants to wear to the event.  Of course no one else’s pants would be up to task.

Alison would offer $50 to anyone who dropped something in front of Crosby, getting him to try to bend over in borrowed pants.  I say we can come up with a lot more cash than that.

Mike Smith would carry Marty St. Louis on his shoulders in the closing ceremonies Parade of Nations.

Is it called “Parade of Nations” or am I just thinking of EPCOT?

At the end we’d all turn our eyes toward the remaining NHL season.  Or later, if need be.  Hopes and dreams – the chase has just begun.

• Full Gold Medal game recap (Canada)
• Full game replay (US)
• Post-game Crosby interview

Epilogue: I wish we could have given Team USA a better ending.  Bronze at least. After Saturday, I can’t handle a replay of all the Sad Kaner Faces – or anyone talking about him as a failure.  Bad day.  Incredibly player.  Anyone who thinks otherwise based on one (or two) games, isn’t watching much hockey.

We didn’t pick the teams.  We wouldn’t have put them head-to-head until the gold medal game but let’s be honest, we can’t handle that.  We can’t even handle today.  Before we close our office doors and pretend to be throwing things and shrieking for work, let’s face off WUYS-style one last time.

Foxy Friday: Team USA vs. Team Canada 

You be the judge.

Team USA Goalies:

Quick, Howard, Miller

Team Canada goalies:

Price, Smith, Luongo

I think this frame is really Carey Price vs. the world, but perhaps you’re into over-long hair and disagree.

Team USA defense:

Faulk, Fowler, Carlson, Martin

I tried to help everyone out by picking photos of Justin Faulk and John Carlson that mitigate their fondness for 80’s metal hair.

Orpik, Shattenkirk, Suter, McDonagh

I even cropped a puppy out of Ryan McDonagh’s photo because that’s cheating.

Team Canada defense:

Bouwmeester, Doughty, Hamhuis, Keith

I’d have gone wtih four pics of Donuts (for each of his goals), but who knew Dan Hamhuis looked like that?

Pietrangelo, Subban, Weber, Vlasic

We hear Shea Weber is good at ping pong.  Invite him to that summertime charity tournament, right?  He can bring his short, stocky partner.

Team USA forwards (Part 1):

Pacioretty, Kessel, Oshie, Kesler

It’s not easy to find a viable photo of Phil Kessel.  Never have our makeover skills been so sorely needed!  Shine on, TJ Oshie, and hit him with your light.

Van Riemsdyk, Wheeler, Pavelski (See, Chuck!)

Also, Blake Wheeler coming through with some unexpected skill in this round.

Team Canada forwards (Part 1):

Sharp, Nash, Perry

Is any competition fair when Patrick Sharp competes?  His hair could win this on its own.

Geztlaf, Duchene, Kunitz, Marleau

Speaking of hair, I used the Ryan Getzlaf Time Machine here.  It had to be done.  Balance it against choosing a photo where Jimmy Howard doesn’t have crazy eyes – I tried to put the pretty filter on everyone.

Final round now, who’s going home a winner?  I saved the best for last.

Team USA forwards (Part 2):

Backes, Brown, Callahan, Kane

A half-smile is all Patrick Kane is allowed, like a handicap in golf.  Otherwise he wins every category, carrying Team USA to indisputable, upstate NY victory.

Stepan, Parise, Stastny

Paul Stastny going for the humor vote, because I could not find another decent photo.  Come on Colorado, get on it.

Team Canada forwards (Round 2):

Crosby, Benn, Carter, Bergeron

I don’t know who can withstand this.  Even Bergy’s giving you that look like he knows what you’re thinking about Crosby.

St. Louis, Toews, Tavares (weeeeeeep)

Then the JTs.  Sympathy points for Tavares are acceptable, but I’d rather have bonus points for seeing those glasses again.

Final Score…

You tell us: Which country has the foxiest Olympic squad?  Is it really a contest if you win either way?  We’re gonna need a bigger podium.

*Updated with names, for anyone who doesn’t spend all their free hockey blogging.

Team USA won.

Canada almost lost to Latvia.

Then they won.

But John Tavares left the game with a leg injury.

And didn’t return.

Now he’s out for the rest of the NHL regular season with a torn MCL. [link]

When the US and Canada face off tomorrow at 12 PM EST, there will be no John.

None of this face.

None of these no teeth.

No shorts.

No bromantical matching outfits because it’s Wednesday and on Wednesday, we wear sweatpants.

No jeans, or dream worlds I live in where Tavares and Crosby are friends who hang out and watch History Channel.

No two-strapping backpacks.

No rocking a huge access credential like the latest in runway couture.

Basically, no joy in the world.

Okay, maybe it’s not that bad.  Not unless you’re an Islanders fan facing the rest of your regular season without the captain.  I’m being weepy and melodramatic because it’s just so very unfair.  Second overall in NHL points, potentially on his way to another Hart nomination, Olympic semifinal game… sigh.

But John wouldn’t want us to wallow.  He would want us to focus on the game.  I’ll turn my attention to hiding under my desk and eating my feelings because if you thought I was pro-Canada before, I’m going to be a mess tomorrow.

Maybe John will make it to the game.  I tore my ACL but could get into a chair (with immobilizer) the next day.  Will PK play?  Or will he serve a higher purpose in the press box?

While I’m dreaming through tears, why not ask for everything?  In-game, off-ice is the perfect place to debut glasses.  It worked for that other guy.

Anything would help right now.

I like goals and winning and the Caps need some of both very badly tonight. They’re winless in 5 games, including two shootout losses.  Ovi is a game-time decision vs. Ottawa, a game I’ll miss because I’m snowed in at home.  I will wear my Caps pajama pants though – they never get to go to games.  Or have nachos.

Ovi was on The Today Show yesterday, talking with Carson Daly about his starring role in the Sochi Olympics.  Most of you are probably not old or American enough to remember Carson Daly on Total Request Live but let me tell you: Chuck & I would have fit right in back in the day.

Turtleneck sweaters and pineapple hair and true love.

I understand Carson now hosts a reality competition show that I don’t watch. Good for him – he survived all those shrieking teens for something.  As for interviews, he and Ovi both say “excited” as convincingly as John Tavares does, but we believe them.

Video: Alex Ovechkin on NBC’s Today Show – Jan 20, 2014

Carson’s hair – part Elvis, part Robbie Williams

What you should really watch – and we wish had made national TV! – is this behind-the-scenes video from Caps Red Line.  Alex, you’re fun.  You say “excited” like you mean it and decline that makeup like a guy who makes $9 million a year and is engaged to a sassy fox.  (Side note: @mkirilenko, let’s be friends.)  This is the Ovi that even I cannot resist.

Also, Today Show anchors do a lot of hitting guests with paper – is that a thing? Just with athletes maybe.  Ovi’s into it.

He did however miss a prime opportunity to razz this dude in the Rick Nash shirt.

Gah, the end of the BTS video is so cute I don’t even know who I am anymore!

Get well Ovi, as in right now for tonight, and let’s get some Caps wins on the board.  Whatever happens in Sochi, and whether or not Crosby steals your Rocket Richard trophy (mwahahaha), please don’t make me look past the Rangers and Flyers to see you down there.

Add in childhood video, profile shots and candid confessions of previous disappointments and I feel like I just voted for something.

Will Stammer be ready to play in Sochi?  While everyone’s talking about Olympic dreams, this is one of ours.

Here’s the Olympic Men’s Ice Hockey schedule.  I’ve alerted my boss that I’ll need multiple days off – possibly two whole weeks – to watch these games in real time.

The Golden Goal was the moment my husband realized I am actually crazy.   Cheers in my building died immediately – except for mine.  Instead of being devastated by the US loss, stunned silent and saddened, I was screaming.  There was jumping and running followed by a lot of not knowing what to do with myself.  My love of Crosby topped my love of country (and a fairy-tale ending) that day and I am not ashamed.

Needless to say, I am excited for the Olympics.  I’m only slightly less excited for the onslaught of commercials that revolve around the Games – and with 40 days until Sochi, they have begun.  They have begun!

I CAN’T!!!!

Let’s start with John Tavares’ face game face.  And his voice.  Holy Hannah, somebody give this guy a phone book to read and let me pay for the podcast.

You giggled when he looked at the camera, didn’t you?  I did.  I still am. When someone tells you to be serious and you can’t keep a straight face to save your life, just try squinting.  His hair is flawless though.  Let’s get over this lower-body injury and get this coif back on the ice stat, s’il vous plaît.

(Side note: This video was posted December 6 and I just found it.  Three weeks!  Intern Jeff Skinner is so fired.)

Every year, Canada takes to reminding themselves that hockey is their sport.  So far I have encountered zero Canadians in danger of forgetting this, but it’s very patriotic and rousing and jealousy-inducing so here you go:

Ahhh, Donuts!  We haven’t mentioned Drew Doughty around here in a while. Nice to see his floppy flow again – which is promptly upstaged by a glimpse of Stamkos as brief and wondrous as our hopes that he’ll be healed in time for Sochi.  Marketing at it’s best.

Canadian Tire makes excellent use of resident superhero Jonathan Toews to pay tribute to all that goes into hockey, starting with his parents.

There’s also a :30 version of the commercial, a behind-the-scenes video from the shoot and an extended interview with John & his dad about their backyard rink.

Superhero smile

We Americans have seen Zach Parise’s charming face during every play stoppage for nearly a month.  This after-school special should come with PB&J.

There will be more heartstring-plucking, chest-pounding, flag-waving ads in the days to come.  If you see one first, send it to us!