It was someone’s job to walk behind John Tavares and hold a sign that said “John Tavares.”
This is so obviously the job for me that I’m just putting it on my resume, because it makes no sense that I wasn’t the one to do it. Here’s the red carpet video.
I could also have held the “PLAID SUIT!” sign, people.
Then, let me just get this out of the way:
And by “this”, I mean my dead body, fallen to the ground, blocking everyone’s commute into DC. Look at these guys! Look at John’s hair! My enjoyment of this photo is the way a tween feels on the day a new One Direction album drops. I don’t Snapchat, but if I did, I would express this with the “throwing up rainbows” filter.
If this were The Hangover, Tavares would end up with the tattoo on his face. Take care of him!
Obviously the big story of the weekend was John Scott auditioning to play himself in the Disney remake of Goon. He not only went to Nashville, apprently against the NHL’s wishes, he owned the weekend. His kids and goals and his MVP award are all the things we love about sports. Perseverance, faith and, hey, talent (!) delivered with a smile that thanked most people and told some others to kiss his ass.
The support of so many players and teams for Scott’s efforts was also spectacular. Sportsmanship, alive and well! This is what sports should teach kids: not that everybody wins, or gets a trophy for showing up, but that life can be tough – and you can be tougher. Scott goes, for now, back to the AHL. Fate awaits. But for that moment, when someone said he couldn’t, John Scott did anyway. Bravo, sir.
In other highlights, PK Subban topped the moment he wore Intern Jeff Skinner’s jersey with a costume so perfect I can’t believe I’ve never worn it on Halloween. (No wig required.)
And PK looks good with long hair. Is that weird? Nah. These rest of the weekend PK dressed and acted like a million bucks-slash-his regular self. He even does a purple suit and fedora with a minimum of pimp-ness. How?
In the weekend’s other best piece of performance art, Brent Burns appeared as the fictionalized version of himself.
Plus he brought a litle Ewok.
Burns’ teammate and Former Foxy Friday Joe Pavelski also brought his son, and Minis Pavelski and Burns scored a goal in the breakaway competition. That drop pass would make any goalie disappear.
Jeez, Pavelski looks good. Sorry Chuck, but I think Joe Thornton turned out to be the Prince William in this family, and all of a sudden Prince Harry (ginger power! ) is like woah.
Other important stories:
Claude Giroux is hot.
May I be struck down by the Penguins Zamboni for continuing to think this, but….
Probably driving the Penguins Zamboni of Shame would be Malkin, with James Neal uselessly shouting directions in English. Their little reunion this weekend makes me really want a TARDIS. [Video]
Malkin to Neal: “Good luck in the shootout… Look, he’s nervous.”
Take a peek for more from #NHLAllStar weekend.https://t.co/UKzyBz8qR4
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) January 31, 2016
Geno is also the person on Earth whom I would most like to hug. He feels the way I feel after a long day of doing PR. (Too bad it’s actually my job.)
Meanwhile, Neal (:: sans gingerbeard :: why :: sobs ::) heard what I said Friday about Dierks Bentley and “everyone loves tight jeans”, and he delivered! Video of them skating together in the breakaway challenge here.
Also, James does not have the best hair on the Preds. There is simply no competing with Roman Josi,
Matt Duchene made his debut as a second-career country star. I hope this is an available search criteria on DateaCowboy.com (100% real website). Matt also were a cowboy hat and used hashtags #mullett and #yeehaw this weekend, so if music doesn’t work out, he could always blog for us! [Performance Video]
Matt Duchene is an #NHLAllStar in more ways than one… pic.twitter.com/F1RpAyLMfC
— NHL (@NHL) January 30, 2016
Tyler Seguin swore on TV, then apologized to Canada.
Then he made it up to the whole world simply by having been born 24 years ago that same day and thus contributing this to humankind.
I was going to say “mankind”, which is casually and confusingly misogynistic. Then I was going to say “womankind”, which is sexist because I have to believe guys appreciate a supernova just as much.
I didn’t hear much about Jamie Benn this weekend. Even if he did nothing but stand around and look like Jamie Benn, it’s more than I do all day.
(Jamie and Tyler were the only hockey players to make the Forbes list of 30 Under 30: Sports, reminding you they are 1) awesome and 2) practically still jailbait.)
Speaking of jailbait, Aaron Ekblad continues to defy human evolution by appearing to be a good idea. His beard is so Max Talbot, right? Again, right-but-wrong. Should we just call him #rightbutwrong from now on? Done.
Then he posted a photo from his hotel room and (we assume) Nashville sold out of binoculars and protractors as people tried to figure out which window to look in.
Dylan Larkin, who is 9 years old (okay, 19), submitted his application to be our new intern by skating the fastest lap in NHL ASG history. Hey, we were spry at 19 too! (Lies.) But we like this kid, and not just because he can pass notes to Mike Green for us.
I could go on all day – I nearly have, since it’s noon and all my emails are unread! I hope you enjoyed this and the ASG weekend. Just doing this post has given me all the feelings.
Bring on the second half of the season! (Now, if something could excite the Penguins, we’d be in business.)
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Thanks to the players who really came to play – not play like they do in competition every day, but the fun kind where the fans get to play along. Specifically, thank you because:
You looked great.
Really great.
Like “This Foxy Friday will be used against you in a court of law” great.
You made new friends.
You saw old friends.
And trolled them.
You talked a lot of trash.
You took a selfie.
You got drunk.
You forgot your new friend’s name.
He forgave you. Mostly.
You took more selfies.
You didn’t win a car.
Then you did win a car! But you weren’t the only one.
Either way, you won our hearts.
Even if just for a moment.
Even if you weren’t the MVP.
Most of all you made us forget all the guys who weren’t there, from the Subban-type snubs to the Crosby-esque casualites. Maybe the weekend could have been even better… but we didn’t miss them. So thanks for this weekend, and see you next year in Nashville.
]]>You know what that means?
More of this!
And this!
And hopefully much MUCH more of this!
#HatTip to Tyler and Co. for even making the playoffs and for holding their own against the Ducks. I’m sure that Seguin would rather still be playing hockey, but I think that he’s gonna just fine.
Also fine (both literally and figuratively) – Jamie Benn. Seguin’s life partner will no doubt be spending his summer making Pants I and fall more in love with him.
We are girding our loins in preparation for what Mr. Seguin and social media holds for us this summer.
Judging by the photos above, I think we’re off to a great start.
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Just when we need someone who can be counted on to do the right thing, enter Jonathan Toews. With a puppy.
This is a photoshoot in support of Chicago Loves Pits, founded by Brian Bickell. I presume they’re doing a calendar. Between this and Pens & Paws, I’m really going to know what day it is in 2014.
This lucky lady’s name is Juliette. Looks like she took a few minutes to come around, but not even she could resist.
More Blackhawks? More dogs? Yes.
Gah, I feel better already.
]]>#TeamEbs took over the NHL Instagram account and used the opportunity to make fun of Molly Ringwald.
Our favorite boy band also introduced an act at the Canadian Country Music Awards. (All the things I love – hockey, Canada, country music – in one place.)
The NHL had their Media Day and Sidney Crosby took his hockey stick to the prom (again).
John Tavares was named the 14th captain of the USS NY Islanders. Just when you think it can’t get more adorkable, he says “heck” in his speech, wears black shorts with black shoes and just about kills us all. (Press conference | Interview)
He also did a… workout video. That should be Rated R. Hey! I am not the one who says “explosive hip thrusts” fifty times.
Proof that JT91 is the nicest: Everyone says “Tavahhhres” while John says “TavAIRes.” I bet he never corrects anyone.
Also, the Hawks went to a Bears game.
Resulting in the best Tweet of the weekend:
(Source: @Drunk_Kane88, thanks to @Brn_idPensGrl for the send.)
The Penguins annual season ticket delivery happened. This would need to take place with said Penguin being delivered to my house in an ambulance, then my mom could drive him home after the EMTs take me away.
As per usual, Crosby went to zero houses where anyone under 60 lives. He did sweat his was handsomely through the attention.
What’s cuter than awkward Sid? GENO! I have missed you! He is 12 feet tall and doesn’t brush his hair. Those are some Russian jeans he’s got on too. Who cares?! I want to hug him.
You can see them all at the Pens website, including this moment where Neal signs a baby.
Speaking of Penguins, it’s JStaal’s birthday today. I miss him. Let’s all take a moment to wish the Canes a good season, and then eat some cake.
Jordan was our very first Happy Birthday post in 2010, and again in 2011.
This happened two weeks ago and I never even saw it – The Mike Green Clinic on What Shoes to Wear With Golf Shorts:
Source: Twitter
Do you think d-men like Green and Seabs enjoy seeing scorers like Stammer and Bergy in the off-season? One more from this tournament…
That’ll teach me to go on vacation. Just wait until the season starts! I may not survive. I’m sure there’s more right now but I must work because that Game Center Live bill is coming soon too.
(Who am I kidding? Start that workout video again.)
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In case you’re not hip to the Instagram, it is an online photo/video-sharing & social networking services that lets users take photos, apply a digital filter, upload them, and share them with the world.
There are well over 30 million accounts on Instagram, and while the majority of them seem to be teenage girls taking countless selfies making the duck face or people taking photos of their food (of which I am guilty), there are a few accounts that truly capture our attention – the NHL hockey player.
Their accounts aren’t run by some publicist or PR team.
It isn’t some slick marketing tool.
It’s just regular dudes, being silly and taking photos of their lives.
Instagram is foxy because it gives us, as fans, a snapshot into who these players are off the ice.
Instagram is foxy because it endears these super human athletes to us more.
Instragram is also foxy because it provides endless entertainment, in pictographic form.
Here are a few of our faves –
b_ryan9 – Bobby Ryan. Lots of photos of adorable cats.
hank30nyr – Henrik Lundqvist. No explanation needed.
EMALKIN71_ – Geno Malkin. Lots of photos of him being Russian and hilarious.
No52 – Mike Green. All things hipster.
colbycohen36 – Colby Cohen. A boy and his golden retriever.
bollig87 – Brandon Bollig. Beards. Babies. Chicago.
jlupul – Joffrey Lupul. Many photos of him looking exceptionally attractive. But sadly none from the Body Issue.
DD2527 – Dustin Penner. I love him so hard. So incredibly hard. Can’t we just date already?
harryz87 – Harry Zolnierczyk. This photo alone is worth the follow.
tseguin92 – Tyler Seguin. Recently reactivated. Nearly not enough photos of Marshall.
It’s said that 58 photos and a new user is gained every second on Instagram. So where are you, NHLers?
Time to get on your photo on!
So WUYS, what your favorite NHL instagram account? Share it with us in the comments section!
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